All Lives Matter

Her name was Yvonne.  She was in my second grade class in Southwest Florida in 1971.  I loved being her friend and was fascinated by her dark skin.  She also could take my thin blonde hair and braid it into the smallest silkiest braids ever!  She rode a bus to school.  At my age, I had no idea what that meant.  Today, though, I know that those bused into a school in the late 60's and early 70's were generally there for one thing: desegregation.  None of that mattered to me.  I liked hanging out with Yvonne and being her friend.

I wasn't raised to see differences in people.  My parents taught us to be kind to all--no matter what they looked like or believed.  But not everyone in south Florida taught their children the same way.

I distinctly remember asking my Mom if I could bring her home with me one day after school.  And while I don't remember the specific conversation that took place, I know the answer was "no".  But there seemed to be no reason for the "no."  I know I begged.  I know I cried.  I was heartbroken!

It wasn't until years later that Mom explained to me that it wasn't that she didn't want my friend to come over.  But it was a time in the south when we were forced to "worry about what the neighbors would think."  It wasn't because Mom didn't want to have Yvonne come visit and wouldn't have been hospitable as I traipsed another friend through our home.  No.  It was because she was worried about her safety and ours.  And maybe it wasn't even safety.  Maybe it was simply the chance that our family might have been outcast by a few bigots in the town where we lived.

Many years after that, as a fairly new mother with two babies to care for and not far from the town where I grew up...I experienced more of the potential for "shunning" by one group for your beliefs/values.  DH was a young pastor in our first full time church appointment.  It was in the country in 1990---almost 20 years after my first brush with racism.  Things had changed in our world.  People were far more tolerant.  Or so I thought.

We hadn't been at the church for more than 6 weeks when a couple of DH's friends from a neighboring city came to hear him preach.  It was a nice gesture.  Except they didn't "look" like the country folks we were serving.  No.  They were considered a multi-racial couple.  Neither DH nor I thought anything of it.  We were happy to have them make the trip to come hear him. It was, after all, a trek to get out there for them.

Later that Sunday evening, there was a meeting at the church.  It was right next door to our parsonage and it lasted late into the evening.  I remember thinking DH should have been home HOURS prior to when he finally walked through the door and announced, "the honeymoon is over."  You see, there were people in that congregation who believed that DH should have shut the door and not allowed "those people" through the door on that Sunday.  They absolutely had no tolerance for "people of color" and especially for "mixed marriages".  They wanted him to see things their way.  He would not.

I learned then that this sort of hate still exists and it broke my heart.  For months we endured hate-filled actions and conversations from people in that church as my DH and I stood our ground that God loves us ALL regardless of skin color!  It absolutely is one of the events in our lives that broke my heart the most, but also made me a proud wife as I watched and listened as my husband stood his ground calmly and politely through it all. Finally, six months later we were able to go to a new church since there wasn't the possibility for healing in the other one.  It was a true relief when there were people of all skin colors and socio-economic status in our new church!

These are two memories on my mind today as I watch the headlines.  We are in a time where there is a "Black Lives Matter" movement.  And I agree.  They do.  Last night, though, someone decided to retaliate against police officers to show their anger and frustration and now five police officers have died.  The truth is, they matter too!   And this is only weeks after 49 people were gunned down in an Orlando nightclub because of their sexual preference.

It's time to stop the violence.  It helps nothing and no one.  My Facebook post today sums up my own belief that was set in me from a very young age by my family who believed it:

 "All lives matter.  Period.  It's time for kindness and LOTS of it!"

Christmas 2008 Revisited: Christmas Eve and Beyond

After everyone left, we carried on our Christmas Eve tradition of the boys receiving Christmas PJ's. I love it that they "allow" me to continue taking the photo each year!

The older boys had their gift exchange with their friends M & K and then they went to play Ultimate Frisbee for a bit.

I was so excited because I was literally able to finish wrapping presents in a little under an hour AND watch the end of my favorite Christmas movie: "It's a Wonderful Life". This is a first for me (at least in a REALLY long time) because I am usually STARTING to wrap on Christmas Eve. I have even had the boys help me in pinch when it's been after midnight before.

But, this year, the prep was small and I was able to get in bed around 11:00pm. It was SO NICE!!

Christmas morning is usually us opening gifts here and then, in the afternoon, heading to Tampa to see my family. Santa brought two gifts this year. He knew that Grandma and Grandpa N were getting us a Wii, so he brought Wii Fit and Rock Band 2.

The boys have had a ball with all the new Wii games they received in addition to these two as well. It's been a great source of entertainment in the days beyond Christmas.

I put the stockings in here because I really wanted Danielle to see just how similar our stockings are! Our stockings are always opened last. And, in our family, we only give them to the "kids". Although, I'm thinking about changing that next year after reading some of the traditions in blogland this year.

Christmas has been a great time of family and friends for us this year. It was simpler than normal. Everyone cut down on the presents they gave, but there has been no shortage of love and laughter. I'm thankful for each and every memory we've made this week.

And I am looking forward to 2009 with much joy and hope!

One Precious Moment

When I arrived at my Grandmother's birthday party last Saturday, my Dad immediately told me he had something for me. He and my stepmother had come up earlier in the week for my Great Uncle Al's funeral. He was 92.

Dad pulled out a grocery bag and said, "Nancy sent this up for you and said you had to have it. I don't know why. I hope you do." Nancy is Uncle Al's daughter. And before my Dad got the words out of his mouth, I said, "Is it a little black and white dog?" I think he was stunned that I knew what was inside that bag. For him, it had no meaning. In fact, I'm pretty sure everyone in the room was wondering what the heck it was and asking "WHY?" But for me it was a reminder of a sweet time long long ago. I was flooded with emotion and memories!

When I was a little girl, and still living in Ohio, we used to go visit Great Aunt Rachel and Uncle Al. He worked in a Napa Auto Store. One time, when I was probably 3 years old, we visited him at his store. He had this little dog for me to play with during the visit. I am pretty sure he let me take it to their house later that day. I also remember playing with it a few more times at their house. I don't know why, but I thought it was so neat.

Uncle Al remembered. And so did Nancy. In fact, I remember several times when I saw Uncle Al as an adult that he would ask, "Do you remember coming to our house and playing with that little dog from the auto parts store?" And I would assured him that I did. When her Dad died on Sept. 7th, Nancy found the dog and made sure that it was sent to me.

In the picture to the right, Aunt Rachel and Uncle Al are seated with my Grandparents behind them. Aunt Rachel and my Grandpa were siblings. My Grandma is the only one left here on Earth.

These four people enjoyed spending time together and with their extended families. They have passed on their deep love for family to those of us who are blessed to be part of it. They taught us that treasures are often not expensive meaningless things. They taught us that treasures are in the memories that we make with one another. They taught us love. And laughter. And savoring time with one another. They taught us that simple things can make a difference in someone's life. From them, we saw how to create and make long-lasting memories from the simple things.

And in one little grocery bag last Saturday afternoon, I could once again feel that familial love that makes up so many precious memories in my mind today. When I gaze at that little dog on my shelf, I know it will be a constant reminder of the love that binds our family together. And I hope it, along with so many other treasures from my Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, will serve as a tangible reminder that it is our job to pass along those life lessons to our Children and someday, our Grandchildren.

I don't know why Uncle Al and I shared this precious little toy together. I know it touched me deeply to receive it. And I promise to love it and care for it! :-)

Thank you, Uncle Al! And, thank you, Nancy for such a sweet gift! I will treasure it always!

Dragon Hunt...and then some...

Melli decided she wanted to initiate this dragon hunt. And I was so excited to play since there are dragons all over my school. I just haven't had time to take a photo of ONE of them this week (yet). BUT...I decided that I could put this one up here:

This is the dragon ice sculpture from our cruise. It's a little hard to see with the lighting, but I was having trouble with the flash reflecting. You can make it bigger if you'd like.

In the meantime, it was "back to school" for teachers yesterday for me. We always have some sort of "back to school" party for our staff. Last night we went to the antique car museum that is in our area and we had a little fun...

Here are Sandy, Debra, and I in our "period costumes". We literally found the accessories and shirts at the last minute. But I think they worked.

This is my Principal and Assistant Principal posin' by one of the cars. My school is a very "tough" place sometimes due to the populations we serve, but these two never forget to help us stop and have a little fun along the way. I think it's one of the things that makes our school successful.

Here is my friend Brenda. She is going to turn 70 in not too long and has more energy than most 20 year olds I know!! Brenda's costume (the piece over her pants and shirt) was her Grandmother's in 1917!

And just to show that this seating area can span the ages, I decided to do my best statue pose! That's all for now, I've got to head out to work. I'll be around later to read!!

Without further ado...

The photo above is my DS 2 with "his duck". He said, "I meant I wanted a cute little yellow one, not a beast like this." I really did teach my children to be gracious. And if I'm honest, I can't say I blame him on this one.



DEAD MAN {I mean} DUCK-BILL WALKING!!!!!!!!!! {I couldn't resist the thought or the picture to show why I had this thought.}

Llama the Duck inspects his new home.

Now to add to this story just a wee bit more. Yesterday I was sharing it in the teacher's lunchroom at school and Ms. Greenpeace (that's not her name...but she is rather Earthy) says, "You know those ducks can't fly if they are molting. And they are known to carry tuberculosis."

I'm not sure how she knows that. But THAT certainly made me even happier about this chain of events.

Seriously, if you think about it (REALLY HARD), it's a special thing to have friends who will go to the nth degree to try and make your "dream" come true. I mean they had to capture this thing. I know it took three of them. I think my DS will look back on it and be touched by their effort and, yes, generosity.

And, THAT, my friends, is the end of my duck saga!! Have a QUACKY day!!

She's Going Away...

I only paid $25 for her! TWENTY-FIVE! I gave another $25 to get the six chairs with her. I remember that day so well. I was out garage-saling. We were new in the area and trying to furnish our new home on a budget. I came upon an elderly lady's garage sale. She was down-sizing to move into a smaller apartment. I fell in love with her the minute I saw her. I asked, "How much?" The lady replied "Twenty-five." For a minute, I thought she meant $2500 and I was shocked. But then she said, "You can have her and the chairs for fifty dollars." I immediately went over to my FIL's house and woke him up to bring his van to help me bring her home. And here she's been ever since.

I remember the lady being a bit sad about losing HER table. She told me about the dinners she and her family had held around it. She told me it had been used with her kids when they were younger and her grandkids. I promised her it was going to be used for many of the same purposes in our home. I told her what a blessing I knew it would be. I was right.

Here "she" is in the picture below (at the far end, closest to the window) ready for Thanksgiving last year. We had to add two "extensions" to her to fit everybody.

The second picture shows her doing what she does best, entertaining family and friends for special occasions. (Note: This is "her" looking towards the extension tables.)



Here she is below, all dressed up for our Christmas Open House last year. This has been an annual event in our house since DH and I started in the ministry. I have loved having her here for it because she extends to such a nice size to hold all the yummy food!!

Here she is at DS 3's birthday celebration this summer. She's not particularly dressed up...just providing us a great place to eat all the yummy food. DSs 2 and 4 are waiting for the "go ahead" to dive into their lobster feast.

You might be wondering, then, "WHERE'S she going?" Well, we are a growing family. Not in numbers, but the boys are getting bigger and they need their space. DS 3, especially, has been shifted around in our house. He needs a place to call his own. We are closing this dining room "nook" in to make a bedroom/office space. It will have a wall and french doors to close it off. This will make it usable as an office or small dining room (should we ever sell) and usable now for DS 3's bedroom--something he desparately needs.

I have no room for her now. I realize that we really only use her on very special occasions because most of the time we eat at the dining area of our kitchen. It's sentimental, I guess. I love the fact that she extends to hold so many. I love the fact that she is solid wood with some very neat scrollwork on her sides. I'm a little sad. I know that sounds strange. I won't miss her in the way you miss people when they leave. I'll miss being able to "dress" her up for the holidays and special occasions, the joy of feeding so many people around her, and the memories she dredges up (in general). I NOW understand what was happening in the lady's mind as she watched her table be loaded into my FIL's van. Yes, I'll miss her!!

It's Easter and There's Not an Egg in this Town!

I went out today and shopped for Easter. I know it's a bit late. It just crept up on me this year. With the boys getting older...and knowing that they really don't DO candy....I didn't plan ahead. Truth is, I thought maybe it would come and go and I wouldn't have to do the egg, candy, basket thing. Now before you think I am the worst Easter Bunny ever, know that I always get them a small gift....it was just going to be sans the other Eastery stuff this year.

The only reason I even considered doing "anything" more than my little gift is this:

In a conversation this week with DS 4, I realized that HE seems to think we have some traditions that I wasn't fulfilling. He said, "We ALWAYS hunt eggs at Grandma C's!" Now, we may have hunted eggs there twice in his lifetime....so I guess when it has been done 2/7 years, it "could" be considered tradtion. And we weren't planning to go there this year.

In a subsequent conversation, he proceeded to tell me something else that we "always" do and I thought, "OK time to get your Easter hat on and prepare a nice memory for that boy."

So, last night, we went to Grandma and Grandpa's to color eggs and fill his memory basket. He was happy with that. He had a great time visiting and playing with his cousins and helping create some beautiful eggs over there.

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I decided I wasn't going to do much candy because they rarely eat what I get. But I decided that I would fill plastic eggs and let DSs 3 and 4 hunt for them in the morning (since everyone else will be at Sunrise Service). There was only one slight problem...there wasn't a plastic egg to be found within twenty miles of my house!!!!!!!!

One year, dh found so many plastic eggs at the "after-Easter" sales that he bought 3500 for the church's egg hunt the next year!! This year, NO ONE will be landing that kind of deal. There simply were no eggs. We searched all the "regular" stores for them. I finally decided they don't "need" eggs anyway and left. I couldn't believe it though. It's Easter. Could it really be that they didn't buy enough eggs for last minute shoppers like me? There wasn't even Easter GRASS (which I don't like anyway). I was actually quite amazed.

In a last minute effort, I stopped at CVS by my house (less than a mile) and low and behold there were five packs of plastic eggs on the shelf. I almost tackled a lady in front of me who was also reaching for egg bags. Luckily she took two and I took two...and we left one for some other poor soul who needed them last minute. I praised the lady at the counter of CVS for making one more child smile on Easter morning and left with my prize.

Now, I just have one slight problem....I didn't buy anything small enough to go in them!! I wonder if he'd mind hunting for empty eggs?????? Seriously, I'm going to raid the coin jar and call it done.

I know the eggs and the bunnies and the baskets are NOT what Easter is all about....but I was taken back to my childhood a bit this week as DS 4 shared his expectations and memories. I loved getting them as a child as does he. I loved the WHOLE event...from the baskets...to the eggs....to bunnies...to PEEPS....to dressing up and especially going to church.

Tonight, he reminded me that it's a total package for him too when he said, "it will be fun going to church tomorrow to celebrate Jesus rising from the dead."

Thank goodness we didn't skip this opportunity to make memories and enjoy this wonderful holiday together!! And thank goodness we found those eggs!!

Pickin' and Grinnin' (More Memories)

My cousin, Lynn, reminded me that Hee Haw was part of our family TV watching...when we went to our Grandparents' house on Sundays. I think she is right. This dredged up more memories for me.

In a conversation with a "very young" teacher at work today I found out she was BORN in 1982...I know that it seems like a long time ago...but it's not, really. So I said, "Have you ever listened to a record player? Or seen an 8 track tape?" She said, "Yeah, I saw an 8 track tape in HISTORY class!!" I snarled!!

More memories from my childhood:

* Flipper the bottle-nosed dolphin
* Wanting a Mrs. Beasley doll
* Hippity-Hop
* Watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family
* Listening to 45's....And speaking of 45's:
* Owning American Pie which took BOTH sides of the 45 to play
* Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" until very late at night during the summers
* Magic Eight Balls
* Casey Kasem's Radio Countdown every Saturday
* Chatty Cathy
* Operation Board Game
* Sonny and Cher (with Chastity) TV Show
* Tony Orlando and Dawn TV Show
* Mac Davis TV Show
* Glenn Campbell TV Show

And probably the funniest TV show of all....

* The Carol Burnett Show (and Mrs. a-Wiggins)

Thanks, Lynn, for helping me go back a bit more today!!

A Flashback Moment

Tonight I am having a flashback moment. I am sitting with my ds 4 (who is 6) on the couch while he watches a video of the old TV series "Lassie". His brother, son 3, is sprawled across the floor with his chin resting on the elbows. Suddenly I picture myself laying on the floor of my Grandparent's home on Sunday evenings with the rest of my cousins waiting to know that our favorite canine is OK. And we all chewed Teaberry gum that Grandpa gave us.

And memories flood my soul:

I remember trying to learn to blow a bubble with that gum.
I remember getting excited when Tinkerbell would fly across the screen and announce the start of another Wonderful World of Disney
I remember waiting for Lawrence Welk to end so we could watch "the good stuff"
I remember the porch
I remember lightning bugs
I remember picking dandelions and thinking they were roses
I remember watching lightning dance across the sky
I remember the swing
I remember the aluminum cups that kept water so cold
I remember endless hours playing and pretending surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles that I loved dearly

And tonight I find myself hoping that my own children have memories that will take them on a similar journey someday.

Who knows? Maybe sons 3 and 4 will recall watching that "old fashioned video" with their Mom on a quiet Saturday night.