Friends

Do you remember the song, "Make new friends, but keep the old; One is silver and the other gold."? Last night as I lay down to sleep, that song came to my mind. I have had this amazing week with "old" and "new" friends. (Note: I am considering an "old friend" anyone I have known ten or more years.)

Last Saturday I went to "Girls Night In" with some of my friends from school. It was hosted by one of my newer friends, Kelly. My long time friend, Debra, and I went. There were 9 or 10 of us there--some "old" friends and others newer to me. Some of the ladies were sleeping over. We sat around laughing and talking and eating and being "women" for an evening. Even after I left (which was after 11) they watched movies and played games into the wee hours of the morning. It was an absolute blast just hanging out and being with a bunch of "girlfriends".

By Sunday, I was starting to get a bit of a cold. I received an email from a friend I've made in the last few months at church, Connie. She knew that DH was out of town and said, "May I bring you all dinner this week? I like to do things for working Mom's once-in-a-while?" I thought, "We don't NEED her to bring us dinner." But I told her that while she didn't have to do it, that it would be nice. She said she'd bring it on Wednesday.

I ended up staying home on Monday. One of my newer friends, Katie, saw that I was sick when she read my Facebook page. She sent me a note to ask if she could do anything. I declined as I had everything I thought I needed. Still, it was so nice that she asked because I absolutely know she'd have been there in a second.

By Tuesday, I had to push back to work because the state tests were arriving and I am the test coordinator at my school. While there, I received a phone call from another newer friend from church, Carrie. She had also heard that I was under the weather and she wanted to bring me some homemade soup! I never could coordinate getting the soup with our strange schedule and the track meet that day. Still, I was moved that she wanted to do that for ME!

Wednesday morning I woke up and checked my Facebook status and there was a message from an "OLD" friend, Kelly. Kelly and I were friends from about the time we were 4 - 9 years old. She lived down the street from us. They moved away and we lost touch after that. I did hear from her for a brief time when we were in high school, but other than that...we had not heard from each other. Low and behold, she found me on Facebook! And she only lives about an hour from me now! The conversations we have had via Facebook over the last 24 hours have been like a good soup for me.

Wednesday night, our dinner from Connie arrived. I felt worse Wednesday than I have all week. I have to say that dinner suddenly became a double blessing, because I did NOT feel like cooking. I know my boys enjoyed it as much as I did.

Later Wednesday night, I reconnected via my old friend Kelly, another old friend, Cindy. Cindy also lived on our street when we were very young. We played for HOURS together. We have tons of pictures together--which I cannot wait to share with these girls.

Needless to say, last night I went to bed so thankful! I believe in the power of friendship. I know that there are different "kinds" of friends. Some are really close and intimate, others a bit removed from that level. Some are seasonal and others are lifelong. Some are "fun time" friends others are "anytime" friends. Still, all are important; each one a gift. And I am richly richly blessed by mine!

The WOW Factor...

I have always been drawn to this concept of "Wow" by Tom Peters. In his book, published in 1994, Peters pursues the idea of standing out in a crowd. Largely written for the business world, Peters tries to help businesses see that there are many look-alikes out there. The goal is to be just a little bit surprising and different.

While there are many critics of Peters' and his business philosophies out there, I know that the pursuit of "Wow" is legitimate. When I am "wowed" in a place of business, I am more likely to go back to that place again.

This weekend, I was "Wowed" by a hotel desk employee. Upon arrival, I learned that the travel agency that made the arrangements for our stay at the soccer tournament messed up. They did not put my information in and there was no reservation for me. Peachy, yes that was her name, immediately began calling and trying to figure it out. Eventually, she found me a room and made a reservation in her very full hotel.

The next day, more than 24 hours AFTER she worked so hard to help me find a room...Peachy saw my DS 4 and I walking outside and said, "Hello, Mrs. N. how are you doing today?" I was FLOORED. I know she dealt with a BUNCH of people the previous day. And she still remembered, and used, my name! WOW!

This morning, our paper had a GOOD NEWS story that WOWED me. I thought it was funny in light of this post I wrote last week. It was the shot in the arm that I needed in the morning news:

Headline: "Miami Banker Shares $60 million of Wealth with Employees"

Without clicking, I thought, "WOW"...that's a lot of money. And, I believe there are many people with that kind of money who simply don't know HOW to share.

Opening paragraph:

Citing a desire to reward his employees, a Miami banker doled out $60 million in bonuses to all staffers and even some retirees after he sold a majority stake in the company for close to $1 billion.

The article continues:

The board chairman and CEO of Miami-based City National Bancshares said by way
of explanation: "I sure as heck don't need" the money.Abess said he was
concerned that employees' 401(k) plans had suffered major losses as stock values
plummeted last year. "I knew some of these people since I was 7 years old," said Abess, whose father founded the bank in 1946. "It didn't feel right getting the money myself." He added that "those people who joined me and stayed with me at the bank with no promise of equity -- I always thought someday I'm going to surprise them."

And surprise them, he did! All 399 current employees and 72 retirees received a bonus based on their years of service. He also provided financial counseling and high-rate certificates of deposit at the bank. The article notes that some people received as much as $100,000 extra.

Wow!

Most of us don't have that kind of money sitting around to dole out. BUT we all have the capacity to dole out the "Wow factor" to someone else. I'm going to find a way this week to surprise someone with a simple act of kindness...I'm not looking for the jaw drop as much as I want to pass on what has been given to me on so many different occasions. I believe this is one thing that really could change our world!

Perhaps you'd like to join me in the pursuit of wow as well!

A Sweet Christmas Surprise!

When I was growing up, we listened to a lot of Christmas music at this time of the year. There were the "old standards" from Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole. And we had several albums of the Ray Coniff Singers. I enjoyed them all at one time or another over the years.

Of course, they were LP's (vinyl records, for those of you too young to remember) so they would get scratched and make pops and cracks occasionally.

One record that I loved to listen to around this time was Walter Brennan's "Twas the Night Before Christmas...Back Home". It's not that the songs are all that great. In fact, there are times when you think you might be listening to the same song in the background while Brennan spins a tale of the season. It's his storytelling that I loved.

A couple weeks ago, DS 3 and I were driving somewhere and talking about the season. I mentioned briefly that I LOVED listening to this album when I was little. I think I may have even said, "I'd give anything to listen to it again." And I told him that I'd looked a few years back on the Internet, but found nothing.

On Christmas morning, DS 3 told me, "Mom, your gift is not here yet. It's on it's way though." To be honest, I forgot about that exchange in the hoopla of all the other celebration and packages the season brought.

Yesterday, DS 3 came to me and said, "Remember I told you that your gift wasn't here yet?" I really only vaguely remembered. He produced this CD of not one, but TWO, Walter Brennan Christmas albums!

I have to tell you, I was BLOWN AWAY on so many levels! First, and foremost, that this young man took that simple snippet of a conversation and turned it into a Christmas surprise amazed me. Second that the album was even "out there". I honestly looked a few years back and turned up absolutely NOTHING.

So, last night, even with Christmas 2008 now firmly in the past, I listened, once again, to Brennan's special stories. I know in today's society, this album probably would never had been made. But I enjoyed, once again, Christmas stories that used to make me laugh and make me cry.

All because a young man took the time to make it so. Thank you, son! I love you!

A Gift Giving Reflection

So many people are looking for ways to cut back holiday gift giving this year. I hear it over and over again in all socio-economic circles. Recently, I found myself really pondering the question of "why" we ever got to the place that we lavish gifts on people during the holidays.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts! I love shopping for them. I love thinking about the person who is going to receive each one. It's a very special time for me most of the time. Sometimes, though, I realize my gift giving is in danger of becoming more about me than about the recipient. It's a very fine line, in my opinion.

I confess, there are times when I want one year's gift to "outdo" the one from the previous year. I suspect that some of you out there in the blogosphere also suffer from this "one upmanship" condition occasionally as well. I suppose I could sit on some analyst's couch to figure out why that occasionally happens to me. But I also think I can sum it up in one word: SELF.

Another reason it's gotten out of hand is societal in nature. We are way over-dosed on bigger, better, faster, smarter, shinier, more bells and whistles from the media each year. I read somewhere that some civic group is trying to ban advertising from children's TV channels. I don't know if that would work. I mean, you'd have to ban some of the advertising on adult TV as well. We are constantly looking for the upgrade. In a whole other context this year, my DH and I talked about this briefly: "Not everything has to be an upgrade. We have to reach the place where we are satisfied with what we have." And when we realize that we don't NEED so much of what we have.

Just last night I saw a commercial for a luxury car. It started out with about 45 seconds of a "home video" from the 70's of a child getting his big wheel for Christmas. The entire time, I was thinking, "wow, are they bringing big wheel back?" Then the commercial jumps to modern day with the new Lexus out front for Christmas.

I know that no respectable adult is going to want a Big Wheel for Christmas. But I still wonder when did we lose the wonder of the simple things like the little boy with his Big Wheel?

Sunday I realized that not all of us have.

I was talking to our Pastor's son. He's 4 and a delightful bundle of energy! He was asking about the "angel tree" gifts that our church is giving for a needy family. I told him we were going to buy gifts for some boys and girls who don't have much. He said, "Well, all I know is that Christmas is coming and I'm going to get a present."

I asked the natural next question, "What would you like for Christmas this year?" His answer shocked me: "I just want an ORANGE YO-YO! I hope I get my ORANGE YO-YO!" He was SO excited about that simple little toy. I even pushed further and said, "Is that all you want?" With his sweet little grin he answered a confident, "Yes, that's all!"

And once again, I was reminded that we can learn so much from young children! For the most part, they get it. It's the outside influences that begin the change their wants into "needs"...for it is children who find joy in boxes and ribbons and not just the toy inside. They seize moments and make memories. And it's children who don't value the people in their lives by the gifts they give (or don't give). They live in the here and now.

Yep, I think THEY get it!

One Precious Moment

When I arrived at my Grandmother's birthday party last Saturday, my Dad immediately told me he had something for me. He and my stepmother had come up earlier in the week for my Great Uncle Al's funeral. He was 92.

Dad pulled out a grocery bag and said, "Nancy sent this up for you and said you had to have it. I don't know why. I hope you do." Nancy is Uncle Al's daughter. And before my Dad got the words out of his mouth, I said, "Is it a little black and white dog?" I think he was stunned that I knew what was inside that bag. For him, it had no meaning. In fact, I'm pretty sure everyone in the room was wondering what the heck it was and asking "WHY?" But for me it was a reminder of a sweet time long long ago. I was flooded with emotion and memories!

When I was a little girl, and still living in Ohio, we used to go visit Great Aunt Rachel and Uncle Al. He worked in a Napa Auto Store. One time, when I was probably 3 years old, we visited him at his store. He had this little dog for me to play with during the visit. I am pretty sure he let me take it to their house later that day. I also remember playing with it a few more times at their house. I don't know why, but I thought it was so neat.

Uncle Al remembered. And so did Nancy. In fact, I remember several times when I saw Uncle Al as an adult that he would ask, "Do you remember coming to our house and playing with that little dog from the auto parts store?" And I would assured him that I did. When her Dad died on Sept. 7th, Nancy found the dog and made sure that it was sent to me.

In the picture to the right, Aunt Rachel and Uncle Al are seated with my Grandparents behind them. Aunt Rachel and my Grandpa were siblings. My Grandma is the only one left here on Earth.

These four people enjoyed spending time together and with their extended families. They have passed on their deep love for family to those of us who are blessed to be part of it. They taught us that treasures are often not expensive meaningless things. They taught us that treasures are in the memories that we make with one another. They taught us love. And laughter. And savoring time with one another. They taught us that simple things can make a difference in someone's life. From them, we saw how to create and make long-lasting memories from the simple things.

And in one little grocery bag last Saturday afternoon, I could once again feel that familial love that makes up so many precious memories in my mind today. When I gaze at that little dog on my shelf, I know it will be a constant reminder of the love that binds our family together. And I hope it, along with so many other treasures from my Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, will serve as a tangible reminder that it is our job to pass along those life lessons to our Children and someday, our Grandchildren.

I don't know why Uncle Al and I shared this precious little toy together. I know it touched me deeply to receive it. And I promise to love it and care for it! :-)

Thank you, Uncle Al! And, thank you, Nancy for such a sweet gift! I will treasure it always!

Monday Memory

Slowly he poked his head through my door on that December day. The first thing I noticed was his toothless smile. His wasn't the toothless smile of most of my second graders. He had a mouth full of painfully rotten teeth. When he smiled, where there WERE teeth, you could see hints of black and gray on what used to be white enamel sticking out of his swollen gums. I was told that this was the result of years of being put in bed with apple juice and other sweetened juices.

It was one day before the Christmas break. The classroom was bustling with holiday excitement. I greeted him as always, "Good Morning, Johnny!" He crept slowly in the door, with his hands gripping his backpack in an I've-got-a-secret way, never once breaking that smile.

I didn't know what made that day different than any other for him. I couldn't really imagine him anticipating the holidays with very much excitement. But something was...different. His eyes followed me across the room as I prepared for another day of teaching before our Winter Break.

This was my first "real" job. Each day I found myself in a room full of eager second graders in a middle class suburb of Tampa, Florida. For the most part, they were well-fed, cared for, and generally well-adjusted children. There was just this one, Johnny, who broke my heart from the moment I started teaching him in October of 1986.

I met with the guidance counselor in early November to find out more about his story. My heart was torn even more. He was being raised by his Father--an alcoholic. He was abandoned by his Mother. Abandoned? I couldn't even fathom a Mother who could just up and leave her child. He lived with two or three older brothers. Their home had no windows, only holes where glass used to be. He slept on an old mattress on the floor. Yet, I was told, nothing could be done about it.

I was young and held out hope that I could change his world. I hoped that somehow I could find someone who would investigate and get him the care he so desparately needed. He was small, dirty, and completely disheveled most days. But he had the most enormous smile. The kind that made you look beyond the outward appearance and straight into a very large heart.

In the midst of trying to change his world, this day, HE changed mine!

Christmas. In some classrooms, the day before the holiday brings many carefully wrapped packages of coffee mugs, apple gizmos and gadgets, new books, and other "teacher gifts". My classroom was no different that year. The children came in one by one and placed their "treasure" in a pile of gifts for me. I was overwhelmed to say the least and excited to finally be able to open all the "teacher gifts" I had dreamed of during my teacher training.

As everyone took their seats and our day of festivities began, my students begged me to open the gifts first. Their anticipation was even more than mine. I LOVE this holiday and was quite happy to oblige. I opened gift after gift. I gave out hugs to everyone for their kindness as we oohed and aahed over the display. After the wrapped mountain had disappeared and all the teacher treasures sat proudly on my desk, Johnny made his way up to me with his hands tucked behind his back.

He said, "Mrs. N., I brought you a gift, too."

I thought, "No. I hope his father didn't spend money on me." I knew this family simply could not afford it.

My eyes were met by his beautiful smile as slowly, he took his hands from behind his back. I'll never forget what I saw. It was a fist full of dirty, torn, crumpled up notebook paper. There were giggles from my second grade audience. I gave them my best "teacher look" and the room suddenly hushed as I took the crumpled paper ball from Johnny's dirty hands as if it were a precious treasure.

He said, "I wanted to get this for you."

I uncrumpled the notebook "wrapping paper" and uncovered a shell. I was stunned. It wasn't the "I-went-to-the-beach-and-picked-this-up-for-you" kind of shell. Instead it was a "driveway shell". Many of the driveways in our area were covered with broken shell. Occasionally, if you dug hard enough, you could uncover a whole shell. This was a "I-found-a-treasure-in-the-driveway-and-I-dug-it-up-for-you-on-the-way-to-school" shell. And, in my mind's eye, and in my heart, it was worth more than all the other mugs and trinkets I received that day.

He held his breath until I spoke. Misty eyed, I said, "Johnny, this is going to look perfect on my shelf in the living room!" And that grin, the one that was unmistakeably love-filled, once again crossed his lips as I hugged him.

And that shell, still sits in a shadow box in my house as a constant reminder that it's not the size of a "gift" but the spirit in which it is given that sometimes makes ALL the difference. It also reminds me of why I am in education, as I think about Johnny and the countless others like him who have crossed my path over the years.

While I lost track of Johnny after that year, in my twenty years of teaching, I continue to meet more and more "Johnny's" each day. They come into my life and I still find myself thinking about what they "need" from me....wondering what I can "give" them. And I know that the best thing I can give is kindness and love mixed in with what little knowledge they may take from our time together. But, like the shell regularly reminds me, every year, from every student, through each experience, it is I who learn and receive SO MUCH!

For that, I will always be eternally grateful!