All Lives Matter

Her name was Yvonne.  She was in my second grade class in Southwest Florida in 1971.  I loved being her friend and was fascinated by her dark skin.  She also could take my thin blonde hair and braid it into the smallest silkiest braids ever!  She rode a bus to school.  At my age, I had no idea what that meant.  Today, though, I know that those bused into a school in the late 60's and early 70's were generally there for one thing: desegregation.  None of that mattered to me.  I liked hanging out with Yvonne and being her friend.

I wasn't raised to see differences in people.  My parents taught us to be kind to all--no matter what they looked like or believed.  But not everyone in south Florida taught their children the same way.

I distinctly remember asking my Mom if I could bring her home with me one day after school.  And while I don't remember the specific conversation that took place, I know the answer was "no".  But there seemed to be no reason for the "no."  I know I begged.  I know I cried.  I was heartbroken!

It wasn't until years later that Mom explained to me that it wasn't that she didn't want my friend to come over.  But it was a time in the south when we were forced to "worry about what the neighbors would think."  It wasn't because Mom didn't want to have Yvonne come visit and wouldn't have been hospitable as I traipsed another friend through our home.  No.  It was because she was worried about her safety and ours.  And maybe it wasn't even safety.  Maybe it was simply the chance that our family might have been outcast by a few bigots in the town where we lived.

Many years after that, as a fairly new mother with two babies to care for and not far from the town where I grew up...I experienced more of the potential for "shunning" by one group for your beliefs/values.  DH was a young pastor in our first full time church appointment.  It was in the country in 1990---almost 20 years after my first brush with racism.  Things had changed in our world.  People were far more tolerant.  Or so I thought.

We hadn't been at the church for more than 6 weeks when a couple of DH's friends from a neighboring city came to hear him preach.  It was a nice gesture.  Except they didn't "look" like the country folks we were serving.  No.  They were considered a multi-racial couple.  Neither DH nor I thought anything of it.  We were happy to have them make the trip to come hear him. It was, after all, a trek to get out there for them.

Later that Sunday evening, there was a meeting at the church.  It was right next door to our parsonage and it lasted late into the evening.  I remember thinking DH should have been home HOURS prior to when he finally walked through the door and announced, "the honeymoon is over."  You see, there were people in that congregation who believed that DH should have shut the door and not allowed "those people" through the door on that Sunday.  They absolutely had no tolerance for "people of color" and especially for "mixed marriages".  They wanted him to see things their way.  He would not.

I learned then that this sort of hate still exists and it broke my heart.  For months we endured hate-filled actions and conversations from people in that church as my DH and I stood our ground that God loves us ALL regardless of skin color!  It absolutely is one of the events in our lives that broke my heart the most, but also made me a proud wife as I watched and listened as my husband stood his ground calmly and politely through it all. Finally, six months later we were able to go to a new church since there wasn't the possibility for healing in the other one.  It was a true relief when there were people of all skin colors and socio-economic status in our new church!

These are two memories on my mind today as I watch the headlines.  We are in a time where there is a "Black Lives Matter" movement.  And I agree.  They do.  Last night, though, someone decided to retaliate against police officers to show their anger and frustration and now five police officers have died.  The truth is, they matter too!   And this is only weeks after 49 people were gunned down in an Orlando nightclub because of their sexual preference.

It's time to stop the violence.  It helps nothing and no one.  My Facebook post today sums up my own belief that was set in me from a very young age by my family who believed it:

 "All lives matter.  Period.  It's time for kindness and LOTS of it!"

Open Doors

Last week I had to spend a couple of days in Tampa with my Mom.  She had some doctor's appointments and on Friday, had surgery to remove a lump in her breast.  (I am so thankful that it came back benign!)  While at the hospital on Friday, DS 2 came and went with me to lunch.  I threw something in the side of my van before we left and distinctly remember pushing the lock twice to get it to "beep".

When DS 2 and I returned, I glanced over at my van and saw the side door open.  My heart sank!  My computer, Mom's purse, and other valuables were in that van before I left.  I stared at the open door with a zillion thoughts running through my head starting with, "OH NO!  THIS is going to be a process!"  With extreme pessimism I approached the car.  We were, after all, in the middle of Tampa near the University Campus.  When I rounded the corner of the parking space, I could see the tote bag with computer and purse inside.  And finally, I breathed!

Fast forward to today.  Last night when I went to bed, DSs 1 and 3 were out with friends as there was no school today.  Well, DS 1 doesn't have school...but he didn't have anything else today either.  I was the first one up because I DID have to work.  6:15 came early.  I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and went out to our living room where I noticed how dark the house was.  (Normally there's a light on somewhere.)  I was suddenly drawn to the front door where the street light was shining through a crack.  It wasn't a crack that is normally there.  The front door was open.  About 12 inches!

A familiar feeling overcame me.  The heart sank.  I thought about waking DH up...but decided against it.  Instead I went to check that all kids were in their beds.  Check.  Nothing appeared touched.  We appeared alone.  The only thing moving was our little cat who was adamantly staring out our BACK sliding glass door. As I relaxed I remembered that the bigger cat LOVES to escape.  I followed little kitty to the back door and there, staring from the porch was the escape artist.  I opened it and let him in.  (It turns out the lock had a problem and didn't catch when one of the boys came home and locked it.)

While reflecting later on my drive to work, I thought about both scenes.  Both doors open when they should have been secure.  Both caused a momentary panic.  And both ended up just fine.

 I am reminded just how many times doors that seemingly should be shut in our lives suddenly are found open.  And I think the natural human tendency is that fear keeps us from moving through them.  Yet, so many times we DO peek inside or even step inside to find that all is well.  While I'd like to find no more physical doors in my life open when they aren't supposed to be, I DO hope that the next time one of life's doors opens for me I step through it without fear and discover something wonderful on the other side!

Just an observation....

I have been a "boy Mom" for 21 years and I still don't get the "healing power" of a guys' wrestling "match". With all my boys, with perhaps the exception of DS 3, they could go from funk to fun in a blink with one good wrestling match. And they like it! The head locks. The tapouts. The holds. All of it. They still scare me some...they sound like they're dying at times...then they come up smiling! I think someone should do a study on the healing power of the wrestling match...shoot, maybe someone already has.

It's something my female brain will NEVER understand. I just know to move the furniture and pray that no one gets hurt!

Lessons learned while pedaling...

Though it's quite a distant shot, DS 3 and LG are pedaling down our street in this picture. I am pedaling behind them...and shooting the photo (which is a pretty good feat if I do say so myself). Unseen in this photo is DS 4 who was also along for the ride.

We have been working with LG to learn bike riding. DH has run along side her. DS 3 has held her up and taught her balance once she gets started. DS 4 shouts encouragement to her as she makes her attempts to do it all by herself.

Yesterday, we took off to ride around the neighborhood. LG is pretty good once she gets going, but she requires someone to hold the bike steady and give her the starting push to begin.

I started her off yesterday and the three of us followed along. She rode pretty far then hit a stopping point. She didn't fall, but getting started was a chore. We wanted her to learn to do it herself. So we coached from the side while she worked on it. After a few long minutes, she did it! All by herself!

As you would expect from an unsteady rider, there were other stops and starts. And she had a couple of moments of sheer frustration. At one point she announced that she would be "walking her bike back to the house!" I told her "No, you are going to do it. Just take your time and look forward!" She held her hands up and showed me that they were red. I determined that she must have an absolute death grip on the handles! Still, the boys and I reminded her to stop looking at the pedals, loosen the grip and look forward. And gently we nudged her back up on the bike.

Every time I spoke the words, they resonated with me. "Loosen the grip and look forward." I thought, "That's exactly right!" When we are in the midst of a trial. When we can't focus. When we feel whiny and cranky and tired and would rather take an alternate route...perhaps we just need to loosen the grip and look forward.

Soon, LG was able to finish the ride. She rode home a little tired. She was a little sweaty. But she was triumphant. She rode farther than she ever had. She rode alone longer than she ever had. SHE. DID. IT!

The bike ride was refreshing. I enjoyed spending time with the kids. I can't wait until she's even more confident and we can try out some of the bike trails that are around here. But the most important thing that happened for me wasn't the memory making...it was the life lesson that was waiting to gently nudge me home!

Pretty Packages...

I met another "pretty package" recently. You know, someone who seems to have life all together. They are all around us. Shoot, it occurred to me today that I may even give off that appearance once-in-a-while. Some people will admit their flaws and imperfections. Others would rather continue the facade.

Yet, the truth is...all pretty packages have places that are imperfect. We all have places that don't look as pretty. Those seams that don't quite come together. Or the parts that aren't packaged as well.

An amazing thing happens, though, when God himself reaches into our lives. He takes the broken parts; the parts that don't quite fit; the parts that are flawed and imperfect...and he pours out his Amazing Grace on them. And the parts that aren't as pretty to see are made whole through the eyes of love.

And, that, my friends is what makes us perfect just the way we ARE! Do you know he loves you? Do you know that he knows exactly which part of your life is falling to pieces? And he LOVES YOU! HE. LOVES. YOU. He wants to wrap his arms of love around you and renew and restore your soul. He wants you to be HIS pretty package...for it's not the outer wrappings he sees. No. It's the heart. I love that.

In my mind, there's no better picture for this than when God was appointing David to be king. Samuel was looking at the strong men in Jesse's family. He was drawn to the older boys. The ones with brawn. But, God had other plans:

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

So beautiful!

Life is one big status update!

Do you Twitter? Or Facebook? These two social networking sites use status updates to keep people apprised of what their followers are doing. Honestly there are days I feel like I'm living life 140 characters at a time (a la Twitter) or update-by-update (a la Facebook).

I remember when I first heard about Twitter, I thought, "You have GOT to be KIDDING me!" Who wants to know what I'm doing every second of every day? Honestly, not many people do. In many ways, the same is true of Facebook.

I've decided though that these little status update are akin to puzzle pieces. When you start to put the status updates of a user together, you start to get a picture in your head of who they are and what makes them tick. I realize the picture may or may not be completely accurate depending on the honesty of the updates. Still, it's interesting.

As I reread the list below, I think I realized that I like the bits and pieces, but I also like the "whole picture". In fact, that may be why I am rediscovering the joy of blogging.

Here are some of my updates from Tuesday night of this past week until today--and some editorial behind-the-scenes comments:

An old song has replayed in my head today: "They don't know that I go runnin' home when I fall down. They don't know who picks me up when no one is around. I drop my sword and cry for just a while. Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child." (I need to add here that I was in a funk during that time. It's so hard to be in a place where you need to reach out, but you don't know WHO to reach out to...learning and growing in faith is HARD sometimes. I really remembered that day that the child inside me can just cry out to God and let him know exactly what's happening. I love that!)

I'm about to hit 1 week of eye-twitching! It's making me CRAZY! (And the eye-twitching continues today...we'll be at two weeks if it goes on tomorrow at all. Think it's stress? Maybe.)

Good morning everyone! It's Wednesday...we're HALF WAY!

Heading out to see DS 3 in the air band competition tonight. He's been practicing under wraps for weeks...this will be the "big reveal"!! (I almost called him and begged out of going...I was SO tired. I was going to send my DSs 2 and 4 to represent.) I am SO glad I didn't. I'm proud of all my boys and never want them to think what they do is not important to me.)

Airband is over. DS 3 makes me laugh. For that matter, all my guys make me laugh. Let's just say "I kissed a girl" resurfaced for a moment during his act....so proud. So very proud!! (I'm STILL laughing over this. I so wish the video were available on You Tube, cause I'd share it. He's a HOOT!)

Ready for a LOOOONNNNGGGG day at work. Partners in Print tonight which should be fun...:-) (It was MOST definitely a LONG day...but a good one. I'm blessed.)

It's 4:39 and I'm up...the worst part is I've been up since 3:45! Should I go back to bed or just stay up? That is the question... (Uh, that was NOT good. I'm CRANKY when I haven't had my sleep.)

Survey says....she stayed up...which doesn't mean that in an hour or so she won't CRASH at work!! (I didn't crash at work...cause I had a million things to do there too. I actually didn't really crash until last night when I knew that my DH would be home after being gone all week.)

OK, Jodi saved the day with the Simply Salsa mix, but I think I'm scrapping the homemade guacamole for tonight. Chopped onions for the baked onions and now I'm tired and don't feel like chopping and cutting anymore (I have prayed for this type of relationship with my neighbors and it's been a long time coming. I love knowing that I could run over there and borrow something and she had it. I also loved hosting this event in my home again.)

It's 10:41 and my feet are FINALLY UP after a VERY long day. (They were THROBBING!! And still are very sore...)

I'm up and ready for the day...I have NOTHING that I HAVE to do today...first time all week! (Except finish decorating for October, getting haircuts, and going to approve my in-law's choice in recliners...they asked!)

DS 3 is playing the Beatles in one room...DS 4 is watching Mythbusters where the question of the moment is "Can flatulence be fatal?" Hmmmm...think I'll just "Let it Be"!! (Some stuff you just can't make up!)

Had a great time at church this morning and now relaxing and watching my Fantasy Football team LOSE!!

So you be the judge. Do you know any more about me than you did before you read this post? Are the updates worth it, or not??

These are a bit "boring" if you ask me. BUT I really like reading other people's updates...even when they are the everyday thoughts and experiences they have.

No matter where you stand on it, I hope you're having a happy Sunday and enjoying your visit in blogland!!

Some things just make me say...

HUH!?!?!

Yesterday, this little news tidbit came across my computer screen:

Houston Woman Fries and Eats Pet Goldfish After Fight with Husband

Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them.... The seven goldfish were purchased together by the couple during happier times....Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says the man reported on Saturday that the woman took the goldfish from his apartment.....Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some jewelry the man had given her but took back. She wanted the jewelry returned....Officers...arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate. The woman said she already ate the other three

Call me crazy but she fried and ate seven 99cent goldfish to make him mad enough to give back jewelry??? And she thought it would work???? AND this was a police matter???? And it's worthy of national news on the Internet??

I just don't get it!

AND...in OTHER "HUH!?!" News...

DS 3 Takes the Stage With Top Secret Performance

Last night, my DS 3 participated in the school's "airband competition". You might remember when he and my DS 2 shot a video for the Grammy Awards in January. Well, the past few weeks "Mr. Creative" has resurfaced and decided HE'D get on stage for this event.

He kept the plan tightly under wraps except to say "You're going to be SO proud. It might be the proudest moment of your life!" I don't know about you, but when your teenager tells you stuff like that, generally you're thinking quite the opposite! Then last night, just before we left to go to the high school I got this phone call: "Hi Mom. No matter what you see on stage tonight, I just want you to know that I still like girls."

And there you have it, folks, something else that made me say "HUH!?!" There was no waiting once we got there. DS 3 signed his act up to be first on the program. He decided that he wanted to be the FIRST person ever to perform for an audience on the brand new stage AND that if he went first and it bombed, the audience would forget it by the time the night was over. I've raised thinkers if nothing else.

The act did NOT bomb. It was funny. They changed clothes three times and yes, "I Kissed a Girl" (from their Grammy video) resurfaced. And, yes, there was a "son in a dress" involved. It was choreographed well and DS 3--who has not always been my most coordinated child--did a GREAT job moving on the stage. I laughed so hard!

On the way home, he was so excited! He loved the feel of just getting up there and having fun. He is already planning for next year. And yes I am VERY proud of him.

He also noted that one of his friends said, "Wow, I should have done it with you." He had begged people for weeks to do it, but they wouldn't get on stage and go for it. I told him that I have been in that kid's shoes many many times. I've refused to just get out there and do something that I wanted to do because I didn't want to embarass myself. Yet, I also know that when you push yourself to do something like that you usually do have a blast.

I'm a proud Mama. I love it that my guys love to have fun. I love it that they enjoy their lives and occasionally throw caution to the wind (in a good way). I love it that they enjoy school in many ways.

As one of their teachers said to me last night, "Now we just have to figure out which one of your sons looks better in a dress!" He followed up by telling DS 4 (my fifth grader) that he better start looking for a dress now...cause he's probably going to need it!

And THAT made me once again think "HUH!?!?!"

Happy Thursday all!

More Stories from "The Lot"

As I work in our school's parking lot each morning, I get to have conversation with kids and parents. But the best conversations are from the patrols who serve there with me!

Today A asked us all, "Have you ever tried to predict your future?"

Some answered, "Yes." Some answered "No." And others said, "HUH!?!"

He continued, "I did it the other day. And it told me that I am going to be a dentist." I confess at this moment, I noticed the spaces between his own teeth and I thought, "That's a good thing." Never wanting to leave us hanging, and not missing ONE breath, A continued: "And then I tried to predict my salary. And do you know what it told me I would make? 2000 dollars a.....YEAR!"

He paused here to wait for my "Wow!" And when I was still trying to process that he thought he just told me he was going to make a million dollars a year, he said, "I mean do you understand what that means? I am going to be a SPECIAL dentist!" (As my mind went right to missional work--he went on....) "I mean I might be like THE personal dentist to the President!"

Not wanting to burst this young man's bubble, I said, "Yeah, you could be the President's personal dentist. And I am pretty sure they make MORE than 2000 dollars a year."

He shouted, "All RIGHT!"

I think A's going to have a great day basking in his prediction. I know I'm going to have a great day just thinking about the innocence and dreams of young children.

I hope you have a great day too!

Thursday Thoughts

DH is home after an 18-day work trip. We're glad he's here.

I read this quote today and I thought it was what I needed:

"Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wonder how much of my life HAS been wasted while I've sat in doubt or coward in fear? It's true that step by step and inch by inch we have to move forward and do the "right thing" in the moment. I would add, though, when we mess up--that's when we have to accept the grace that is extended to us.

I know...

I know Trace Adkins sings, "You're gonna' miss this". I love that song, really I do. But you know what? I am NOT going to miss the morning cry of "I don't feeeeel goooooodddd!" everytime someone wakes up and doesn't want to go to school.

I really MUST get my son to understand "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

Nope. I won't miss it AT ALL!

Roller Coaster Thinking

I swear sometimes my "thought-life" has more twists and turns than the world's best roller coaster! I ponder. A lot. It's not all doom and gloom...but simply me thinking about life, my family, my job, my faith, my decisions and circumstances.

This week I have been thinking. I don't know what about exactly...lots of stuff.

Although it's not all bad, my thoughts can go from the highest peak down the largest drop in just seconds. For sometimes my thinking turns to worry. I don't know if I'd call it anxiety. But some days it's close.

Yet, when I look at the ride that is my life--the twists and turns that would paralell most normal women my age--again and again I can see God's hand there to guide and protect me.

I need to remember when I'm plunging down the hill that, like any good roller coaster, the ride can change at a moment's notice. And, that the person at the control is not ME! For it's HIS hand...HIS word....HIS love that will guide me safely into the loading dock each and every time. And it's HIM who will be with me when I jump in for the next ride and the next and the next.

I also need to remember that it's not the individual twist, turn, climb, or drop that makes the ride good. It's the culmination of all of those things. If I "lose my stomach" on the drop, I can catch it again on the climb.

So, like any good roller coaster rider, I'm putting my hands up in surrender to each and every twist and turn. And with joy, I will shout and be thankful for the entire ride!

When May Comes...

Every year it happens.  May comes.  And every year since 2002, it's been the same for me.  

That was the year No Child Left Behind really took a foothold and third grade testing became a benchmark for promotion or retention.  There have always been tests.  Even when I was in school.  In the past, the purpose of testing wasn't so bad.  

I mean who DOESN'T want to know that their child is being taught at the highest level possible? And who wouldn't want to hold schools accountable for doing "right" by their "customers"--the students?  In the late 90's though, our state started giving every school a grade.  A report card if you will.  I suppose that'd be OK as long as we realize that we don't all start out on level ground.  

Some schools are filled with students that have every benefit in their lives.  They have parents that love them and give them many experiences upon which to build their education.  These students often have a zest for learning.   Others are filled with kids who wonder where their next meal will come from.  Or if Dad and Mom will fight again tonight...or even if they'll be home. Some come from places that are so impoverished that their lessons take place on the streets and have little or nothing to do with textbooks or pedagogy.     Still other schools are filled with a mixture of these two ends of the student spectrum.  Yet, we grade them all based on similar criteria.  

A few years after grading began is when we really had to look at individual students.  The third grade year was selected as a benchmark year.  After all, if a child can't read by the time he or she is eight or nine years old, there is probably a problem.  Thus, mandatory retention began.  The rule was (and is) that a child who scores in the lowest range on our state test MUST be retained in the third grade.  

Our lawmakers are not totally heartless.  No.  They developed some loopholes.  Some "good cause" criteria that allows a student to possibly be passed on when they score at the lowest level on the single assessment.  Here are a few of the criteria: 

*  If a child has been in the country less than 2 years and speaks no English, he or she can move to fourth grade.  

*  If a student demonstrates an acceptable level of performance on an alternative test.  

*  If a student has had an IEP for more than 2 years AND has been retained already at least ONE time. 

*  If a student has had intensive remediation in reading for more than two years AND has been retained TWO times.

So, every year, the scores come in and we find out who "didn't make it".  We look carefully to see if we can articulate for any of them based on the criteria.  And then we start documenting it all.  And every parent of every child who does not meet criteria gets a phone call home letting them know that their child...their pride and joy...didn't "pass" the third grade.  

Some years, the phone call sounds like one I had to make last week:  "Your child did not pass the state test again.  I know (_____) was in third grade for the last two years, but (_____) have to do third grade a THIRD time.  It's the law."  And it hurts me like CRAZY!  Three YEARS in the third grade???  For what!?!?!  

So, while I've called the "first timers" and even some who will now be on their "second retention in 4 years"...it's the one above that simply makes my passion flame.  (_____) has had a lot of remediation.  (_____) has had other test scores that indicate being on level or just below, but not failing.  There's even a twin who will be ahead of (______) now by TWO years if this goes through.  And a younger sibling who has also now passed (_____) by. (_____) will turn eleven years old in October. IT BREAKS MY HEART!  

Today, we broke the mold of checking one of the criteria and documenting it.  Today, we wrote a narrative to introduce those people who make the decisions to this child.  We are pleading the case and doing all we can under this law to help (_____) make it to the fourth grade. 

While I hate it, this is also the time of year when I know I'm doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I belong in education and at the school where I am.  For that, I am thankful.  

Still, tonight I'm whispering a prayer.  I'm praying this child, and all the others in our state with similar stories have someone to articulate for them.  I'm praying that someone will see the whole picture and make the right decision here.  After all, this child's future depends on it.  

He's 21 Today!

My DS 1 is 21 today!  He's away finishing up his AIT for the Army.  I have to admit that having him in the service makes me view Memorial Day a bit differently.  In many ways, today I celebrate him for two reasons.  First and foremost because he's my son.  And second because he's chosen to serve our country through military service.  

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was in the doctor's office on the 25th of May in KY hearing the news, "It's going to be at least two more weeks."  Two more weeks?  I had already been on "bed rest" for four weeks due to preterm labor!  I was going stir crazy!  Tears came easily as DH and I left that visit.  

We went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday's where I had a mushroom burger.  Leaving lunch, I could barely walk my back suddenly hurt SO bad!  We headed back over to the doctor's office where the nurse told us, "You need to get to the hospital.  You're in labor!"  What???  

Just a few hours later we were able to hold our firstborn son in our arms.  I can remember nothing as sweet as knowing that he was ours.  I remember staring with wonder at the miracle of his birth.  

Now, 21 years later, I am still amazed at just how their life's journey goes.  It twists.  It turns. Some parts aren't so pretty.  But still, we can marvel at just what a miracle life is and how every twist and turn defines the man he is becoming.  

I couldn't be more proud of him or his accomplishments.  Happy birthday, son!  I love you!

The WOW Factor...

I have always been drawn to this concept of "Wow" by Tom Peters. In his book, published in 1994, Peters pursues the idea of standing out in a crowd. Largely written for the business world, Peters tries to help businesses see that there are many look-alikes out there. The goal is to be just a little bit surprising and different.

While there are many critics of Peters' and his business philosophies out there, I know that the pursuit of "Wow" is legitimate. When I am "wowed" in a place of business, I am more likely to go back to that place again.

This weekend, I was "Wowed" by a hotel desk employee. Upon arrival, I learned that the travel agency that made the arrangements for our stay at the soccer tournament messed up. They did not put my information in and there was no reservation for me. Peachy, yes that was her name, immediately began calling and trying to figure it out. Eventually, she found me a room and made a reservation in her very full hotel.

The next day, more than 24 hours AFTER she worked so hard to help me find a room...Peachy saw my DS 4 and I walking outside and said, "Hello, Mrs. N. how are you doing today?" I was FLOORED. I know she dealt with a BUNCH of people the previous day. And she still remembered, and used, my name! WOW!

This morning, our paper had a GOOD NEWS story that WOWED me. I thought it was funny in light of this post I wrote last week. It was the shot in the arm that I needed in the morning news:

Headline: "Miami Banker Shares $60 million of Wealth with Employees"

Without clicking, I thought, "WOW"...that's a lot of money. And, I believe there are many people with that kind of money who simply don't know HOW to share.

Opening paragraph:

Citing a desire to reward his employees, a Miami banker doled out $60 million in bonuses to all staffers and even some retirees after he sold a majority stake in the company for close to $1 billion.

The article continues:

The board chairman and CEO of Miami-based City National Bancshares said by way
of explanation: "I sure as heck don't need" the money.Abess said he was
concerned that employees' 401(k) plans had suffered major losses as stock values
plummeted last year. "I knew some of these people since I was 7 years old," said Abess, whose father founded the bank in 1946. "It didn't feel right getting the money myself." He added that "those people who joined me and stayed with me at the bank with no promise of equity -- I always thought someday I'm going to surprise them."

And surprise them, he did! All 399 current employees and 72 retirees received a bonus based on their years of service. He also provided financial counseling and high-rate certificates of deposit at the bank. The article notes that some people received as much as $100,000 extra.

Wow!

Most of us don't have that kind of money sitting around to dole out. BUT we all have the capacity to dole out the "Wow factor" to someone else. I'm going to find a way this week to surprise someone with a simple act of kindness...I'm not looking for the jaw drop as much as I want to pass on what has been given to me on so many different occasions. I believe this is one thing that really could change our world!

Perhaps you'd like to join me in the pursuit of wow as well!

It's a GAME, People!

DH and I have been "soccer parents" for almost 15 years. DS 1 played rec ball primarily for many years. DS 2 played rec ball, club ball, and high school ball. They both played indoor for a couple of seasons and DS 2 is playing in an indoor adult league now. DS 4 has played both rec and club ball. Between our three players, we have been on the sidelines enough to know that there are many kinds of "fans" and "parents" out there. And, honestly, nothing should surprise me anymore.

But sometimes it does.

I have been in "Mouseland" this weekend for a Disney tournament. Their tournaments draw teams from both in and out of state. DS 4's team played one game yesterday morning and two today. Being a "people watcher", I thought I'd share some of what I saw:

During our time there, I watched one Mother call a Father on her cell phone to report on the son's field play. She reported that their son, a 9 or 10-year-old boy, was not playing up to his potential. She said he was "sloppy" and not doing the things he's been taught. I could only imagine what life was going to be like later when the family was together for the soccer grilling that was bound to happen.

I saw a kid get hit very low with a ball and be knocked to the ground. And the parent of the kicker screamed at her son, "Good job, honey! He deserved it!"

I witnessed a parent threaten his young son repeatedly because his "head was in his _____"! Then, when the son took a very hard hit at the knees that stopped his play, I listened as the parent yelled, "GET UP! GET OVER IT and GET UP! YOU DON'T STOP--YOU PLAY!"

As I said, I have been on enough sidelines to know that these people exist. I know that some of them are truly wonderful people when they are away from the game, but they kind of do a "Jekyl and Hyde" thing when their child starts to play. Usually, it's one, maybe two, parents on a sideline.

But, today, I saw something that I have not seen before...the entire sideline was so tightly wound that they had to call security to the game!

It was the game just before ours, so I only saw about 10 minutes of the melee, but it was definitely a sight. An entire team's parents were yelling at the ref. They were yelling at their players. They were yelling at the other team and the other team's parents. There was cussing and jumping around on the sidelines that was unmatched by any other game I've ever seen. Even when the game ended, the parents were so worked up that there were people complaining about them...and they were absolutely astonished that they were being asked to leave Disney immediately.

I wanted to SCREAM: "It's a GAME, people! So much for the "happiest place on earth!"

I keep saying that soccer leagues, and for that matter, sports leauges should video tape the crowd and then let them SEE and HEAR themselves. I wonder if it would make a difference. Oh I know some people are always going to be negative and intense at games. Others, though, might think twice before they speak so negatively and rudely. Perspective can and does change thing for some.

Soccer sidelines are not a weakness for me. I can be a very excited and boisterous fan, but I don't find myself tempted to scream and yell at players...their parents, maybe..but the players, no! Then I am reminded that just because soccer sidelines aren't a problem, doesn't mean that there are not times when I could be less negative or abrasive. Like the soccer parents I watched this weekend, that's when I, too, need perspective.

I know life is more "serious" than a soccer tournament...but I chuckle when I think of how many times I've heard it compared to a "game"...and I know that once again, my circumstances have taught me a lesson. I love that!

We Sure Could Use...a Little GOOD News...

I know I'm dating myself when I say that I have always liked Anne Murray. Her songs often reach into my heart and touch my emotions in ways that others simply don't. A few years ago, I purchased a CD of hers called "The Best So Far". It had many of my "old favorites" on it including: Danny's Song, I Just Fall in Love Again, and Could I Have this Dance?

Tucked in the middle of this CD is a song that I did not remember from radio play. It was relatively new to me...although the lyrics tell me that it is in no way shape or form "new". The song is called, "A Little Good News".

Even with it's "older lyrics" it is a relevant song for today with the economy, the wars, the hate, the violence, and all the other sad news that seems to jump across my screen when I open up my news readers. It is the song that leaps across my heart when I read over and over again of the horrible things that are happening in our world:

I rolled out this morning
Kids had the mornin' news show on
Bryant Gumbel was talkin' 'bout the fighting in Lebanon
Some senator was squawkin' 'bout the bad economy
It's gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy
There's a local paper rolled up in a rubber band
One more sad story's one more than I can stand
Just once how I'd like to see the headline say
"Not much to print today, can't find nothin' bad to say", because

Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

I'll come home this evenin'
I'll bet that the news will be the same
Somebody takes a hostage, somebody steals a plane
How I wanna hear the anchor man talk about a county fair
And how we cleaned up the air, how everybody learned to care
Whoa, tell me

Nobody was assassinated in the whole Third World today
And in the streets of Ireland, all the children had to do was play
And everybody loves everybody in the good old USA
We sure could use a little good news today

Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

And while I, like most everybody I know, would like to hear "good news" when we turn on the TV or check the news site, I know that the BEST news is not found in the general media. The best news...the GOOD NEWS...is summed up so nicely in the words of the apostle Paul in Romans 8:31 - 39:

31What can we say about all this? If God is on our side, can anyone be against us?32God did not keep back his own Son, but he gave him for us. If God did this, won't he freely give us everything else? 33If God says his chosen ones are acceptable to him, can anyone bring charges against them? 34Or can anyone condemn them? No indeed! Christ died and was raised to life, and now he is at God's right side, [e] speaking to him for us. 35Can anything separate us from the love of Christ? Can trouble, suffering, and hard times, or hunger and nakedness, or danger and death? 36It is exactly as the Scriptures say, "For you we face death all day long.

We are like sheep

on their way

to be butchered."

37In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us. 38I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love--not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, 39and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!

So, while I wait for a little day-to-day "good news"...I am resting in the BEST NEWS today!!

Does the “green stuff” make you “green”? DH and I just started a small group for church that is dealing with finances. I have to be honest…I HATE that topic!

We have been in the position where we really needed to intentionally plan when and how our next meal would be funded…and which bills needed to be paid in which priority. We remember looking at a checkbook with an “almost zero balance” and asking, “How WILL we get diapers and formula and survive this week?” And I know that it can be downright frustrating and demoralizing.

We have also been in the position where we needed to consider the blessings God has given us. And we had to think about what priorities we would set for giving, spending, and general living. Of course, not being stifled and frustrated is much better, but it still can be an unsettling decision.

I know I am blessed with a husband who can, and does, handle our finances well. I admit that there are times when he talks about it…and I feel like I am listening to a foreign language. I trust him and I am grateful for his expertise.

Since we’re leading the group, we are participating as well. Part of the requirement is to write down EVERY penny you spend for at least 30 days---and, if possible, for 60 or 90 to get a real picture. So, starting January 1 of this year, we are writing down what we are spending. Everything. To borrow a Simon Cowell phrase, “If I’m being honest…” (and I am)…it has made me hyperaware of each purchase I’ve made. There are some I’ve decided NOT to make because I didn’t want to write it down on the paper. You know…ADMIT it!!

We are living in TOUGH economic times. Almost everyday that I go to work, I hear about another “cut” that is going to be made in our schools. While I am able to say I have a job, there are many who are not so blessed. Jobs are disappearing at an alarming rate. As you may or may not know, my job is being cut…which means I’ll be “back in the classroom” next year. It’s OK. But it’s not what I WANT…and it’s not where I think I’ll be best used for our profession.

And it all revolves around the GREEN stuff.

While I’d like to think I have a healthy perspective on money, there are times it makes me downright GREEN:

Sometimes it’s the green of envy. I see something someone else has and I think, “Gee, I wish I could have that!” It may be something really small like an article of clothing. But it also occasionally represents something large like a different house, a newer car, etc. We live in a society that touts bigger, better, faster, finer, more, more, more! It’s dangerous and it’s unhealthy. Often when I think I have this green “licked”…it creeps back up on me.

Other times it’s the GREEN that just means “sick”. It makes me SICK that we have to worry about it. It makes me SICK that I can’t do MORE to help other people. It makes me SICK when I see it controlling the lives of others. It makes me SICK when it controls ME!

And still other times, it’s the GREEN like the one that deals with our healthy environment. It’s the “green that makes the world go around” in positive motion. When the money monster is in balance, it’s healthy. It can help people and situations in many ways. It is necessary. It is helpful. It is a tool that provides security and freedom to so many. I like that green.

So, I admit it. The green stuff sometimes makes me GREEN…any one of these GREENS at any moment in time.

How about you?

Does the “green stuff” make you GREEN?

The Desert

Ever feel like you're in the desert? Some days I do. It is dry. Parched. Lonely. Quiet.

I've recently had a few desert days. And while I prefer to be in a place that is more lush and green...and full of life...I'm thankful for these times too. For it's in these times when I am able to once again, figure out who I am. It's also a place where I am more aware of God and his mercy.

I love the desert pictures we get from scripture:

The burning bush was in the desert. God's people wandered in the desert, but he was there with them even when they were grumbling and complaining. Jesus prayed in the desert. He spent 40 days there fasting and endured temptation there.

In Psalm 63 David said, "1 O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. 3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."

So, while my spirit is a bit dry right now. I TRUST that there are streams of living water that come to the dry land. I KNOW that it's here that I can leave more "old stuff" and put on the "new". It's in these dry times I realize just how much I thirst for God's mercy and grace. And I lean in to him a little more than usual...I quit trusting ME and start trusting HIM. In essence, I surrender.

We have choices here in the desert....shrivel up? Dry up? OR Press on? Seek water? Find the stream?

I choose to run to the stream....

What about you?

Today He is 10

Ten years. In some ways it feels so right and in others, it feels as if it cannot possibly be, but my "baby" is 10 today.

He was the fourth. He was a total surprise. A jolt out of our day-to-day routine that shook me to my core.

Ten years and 9 months ago, my youngest was heading off to school and we looked forward to being out of the whole preK/baby mode. We needed no stroller to walk Disney. We were done with potty training and other "baby stuff". I got rid of everything that remotely said "BABY". There was no crib. No clothes. No toys. Nothing. DH and I had decided that we were done with that phase of our lives. And I was glad.

But God had other plans.

Suddenly, on a day in May, I wasn't feeling great. It felt remotely familiar, but I put "that thought" right out of my head. Still, I knew I was off kilter a bit. I went to the doctor and he told me I was pregnant. "Pregnant?" I thought. "No way!" That day, I remember laying on our couch in total silence. It wasn't my plan. I was done. HOW could this happen? (No smart answers, I know HOW...but I really wanted to know WHY?) DH kept telling me, "It'll be fine! It's a good thing." I didn't believe him.

My pregnancy plodded along. I was uncomfortable and could barely walk when I left work in early December. I remember that Christmas being oh-so-special as I felt like I could understand young Mary better than ever before. And I could not imagine plodding anywhere by Donkey! In that final pregnancy journey I think I experienced every single emotion that Jesus' young Mother must have felt. Shock. Fear. Anguish. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Still, in many ways, I was going through the motions. Always in the back of my mind were the words, "This wasn't MY plan."

Three weeks or so before I had DS 4, the ladies at church threw me a surprise baby shower. It was such a blessing. I also had a shower from my friends at school. Still, I brought the things home and put them in a closet. We did get a crib...although I cannot remember where it came from! Still, the room was pretty much undone two weeks before I delivered.

My friend, Mellissa called me and said, "Have you used your gift cards yet?" I said, "No." She said, "Have you picked up sheets and the basics yet?" I replied, "No." She said, "Susan, you ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! You HAVE to get ready." She was right. I went to the store the next day and picked out a few things that I knew I would need for a brand new baby.

Those last two weeks were brutal. I could barely walk. I was lonely. I was scared. I couldn't sleep. He kept me up from 11:30 - 3:30AM almost every single night doing acrobatics in the comfort of my womb. I would sit in our recliner and cry. I prayed for him. And for me. I asked God to help me be the Mother he needed me to be. I admitted that I simply didn't know if I could do it again. I was scared to have another delivery. My last two were no picnic at more than 9 lbs each.

Sunday morning, January 17th, I knew we had to go to the hospital. We left before 6:00am. By mid-morning the doctors were very concerned because his oxygen levels were dropping and he appeared in distress. They broke the news to me. C-section. More fear. More panic. More anger. By noon, our fourth son....a gift from God...was born.

The cord was wrapped around his neck AND in a knot. The doctors said he would not have survived a trip through the birth canal as that knot was cutting off the oxygen. I cried. I knew we had a miracle on our hands. And at that moment I felt as if God finally whispered in my ear: "This one is born for a very special purpose. For my work. He's going to do great things."

And the bond was made.

I always knew that I would have boys no matter how many I had. God had shown me that when I had DS 2. I feel so strongly that DH and I were "supposed to" help raise up Godly men that would one day make great husbands and fathers. And I have been so greatful for that call.

After I gave birth to DS 4, I started savoring moments more. I knew this was my "last". There would be no more. Each of my children have taught me so many lessons--and in a way I learned from HIM to take the time to enjoy the others even more. In this past ten years I have learned more about love and life and compassion and joy. He lives life to its fullest. HE enjoys moments and makes memories. He is tender and kind. He loves his brothers and family beyond belief.

And, today, as I reflect on the joy he has brought to our family, and the way in which he arrived, Isaiah 55:8-9 comes to my mind:

My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the
Lord.'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than
your ways,And My thoughts than your thoughts.

And, to that I say, "Thank you, God!"

Happy Happy Birthday, Son! I love you!

A New Year...A New Word

Two years ago, my SIL, Heather posted something I had not heard of before. It had to do with finding a "word" for the New Year. And so I prayed. And I asked God to reveal a word to me that would be "my word" for that year. And He really gave me the word "promise". Again and again, He showed how he keeps His promises.

Then, the next year, my heart was impressed with two little words: MOLD ME. This past year, although I didn't blog specifically about it, I am certain that my word was "FORWARD" as I needed to look forward to what lies ahead.

And, here I am in 2009 asking once again for a word on which to focus for this year. And this word LAUGHTER keeps coming to my mind and heart. I know that I get too serious. I get focused and although I LOVE to laugh, I forget to do it. It's like a muscle, and it must be exercised.

When I went to the Bible to really see if that's the word that God has for me. I thought, "No, God must want me to have the word "JOY" for the year." Cause over and over again are verses about silencing laughter. I looked at some different versions of the verse that most caught my eye and my heart in The Message version:

Psalm 30:3-5:
2-3 God, my God, I yelled for help and you put me together
God, you pulled me out of the grave,
gave me another chance at life
when I was down-and-out.

4-5 All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
Thank him to his face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.

And, then, because I know the Message is a translation---and sometimes considered inappropriate, I read the verse in the New American Standard Version (which was my first study Bible):

3O LORD, You have brought up my soul from Sheol;
You have kept me alive, that I would not go down to the pit.
4Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones,
And give thanks to His holy name.
5For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

So, here I am, at the beginning of another year knowing that "LAUGHTER" is to be my word...but also understanding that it's not the kind of laughter that is without pure JOY. And I'm excited to see what I learn as I seek those moments to rest, laugh, and enJOY my life.

Happy 2009, everyone!