All Lives Matter

Her name was Yvonne.  She was in my second grade class in Southwest Florida in 1971.  I loved being her friend and was fascinated by her dark skin.  She also could take my thin blonde hair and braid it into the smallest silkiest braids ever!  She rode a bus to school.  At my age, I had no idea what that meant.  Today, though, I know that those bused into a school in the late 60's and early 70's were generally there for one thing: desegregation.  None of that mattered to me.  I liked hanging out with Yvonne and being her friend.

I wasn't raised to see differences in people.  My parents taught us to be kind to all--no matter what they looked like or believed.  But not everyone in south Florida taught their children the same way.

I distinctly remember asking my Mom if I could bring her home with me one day after school.  And while I don't remember the specific conversation that took place, I know the answer was "no".  But there seemed to be no reason for the "no."  I know I begged.  I know I cried.  I was heartbroken!

It wasn't until years later that Mom explained to me that it wasn't that she didn't want my friend to come over.  But it was a time in the south when we were forced to "worry about what the neighbors would think."  It wasn't because Mom didn't want to have Yvonne come visit and wouldn't have been hospitable as I traipsed another friend through our home.  No.  It was because she was worried about her safety and ours.  And maybe it wasn't even safety.  Maybe it was simply the chance that our family might have been outcast by a few bigots in the town where we lived.

Many years after that, as a fairly new mother with two babies to care for and not far from the town where I grew up...I experienced more of the potential for "shunning" by one group for your beliefs/values.  DH was a young pastor in our first full time church appointment.  It was in the country in 1990---almost 20 years after my first brush with racism.  Things had changed in our world.  People were far more tolerant.  Or so I thought.

We hadn't been at the church for more than 6 weeks when a couple of DH's friends from a neighboring city came to hear him preach.  It was a nice gesture.  Except they didn't "look" like the country folks we were serving.  No.  They were considered a multi-racial couple.  Neither DH nor I thought anything of it.  We were happy to have them make the trip to come hear him. It was, after all, a trek to get out there for them.

Later that Sunday evening, there was a meeting at the church.  It was right next door to our parsonage and it lasted late into the evening.  I remember thinking DH should have been home HOURS prior to when he finally walked through the door and announced, "the honeymoon is over."  You see, there were people in that congregation who believed that DH should have shut the door and not allowed "those people" through the door on that Sunday.  They absolutely had no tolerance for "people of color" and especially for "mixed marriages".  They wanted him to see things their way.  He would not.

I learned then that this sort of hate still exists and it broke my heart.  For months we endured hate-filled actions and conversations from people in that church as my DH and I stood our ground that God loves us ALL regardless of skin color!  It absolutely is one of the events in our lives that broke my heart the most, but also made me a proud wife as I watched and listened as my husband stood his ground calmly and politely through it all. Finally, six months later we were able to go to a new church since there wasn't the possibility for healing in the other one.  It was a true relief when there were people of all skin colors and socio-economic status in our new church!

These are two memories on my mind today as I watch the headlines.  We are in a time where there is a "Black Lives Matter" movement.  And I agree.  They do.  Last night, though, someone decided to retaliate against police officers to show their anger and frustration and now five police officers have died.  The truth is, they matter too!   And this is only weeks after 49 people were gunned down in an Orlando nightclub because of their sexual preference.

It's time to stop the violence.  It helps nothing and no one.  My Facebook post today sums up my own belief that was set in me from a very young age by my family who believed it:

 "All lives matter.  Period.  It's time for kindness and LOTS of it!"

Thanksgiving Reflections

I'm so thankful for my amazing family!  We had a fabulous day yesterday celebrating one another and Thanksgiving together.  My family came down from Tampa and DH's Mom and Dad joined us as well.  It was a lovely day...even though it was kind of hot!

Then, today, we carried out what is becoming a Black Friday tradition.  DSs 3 and 4 and I loaded up the car and left the house at 2:10am to go to Starbucks to get 500 cups of coffee to hand out at Best Buy and the Mall. Our church starting doing this as part of its outreach program three years ago.  It is absolutely an amazing event!

My job is to shuttle between the three locations and make sure everyone has coffee, creamer, and the fixins they need.  I told DS 4 that I think I did the "Mall 200" today!  After we finished (around 7am) I came home and took a nap.

Every Light Counts

 Our church is launching a project called "Every Light Counts" as the Thanksgiving and Christmas season is upon us.  It's got me thinking a lot about just how powerful each one of us can be in our world.  We can send out a ripple of kindness that helps people see God's love in action.  For our church, we are asking each person to consider getting involved in one of the many servant events that we have happening over the next 5 or 6 weeks:

Serving meals at our local elementary school to families attending school events
Giving shoppers free coffee in the wee hours of black Friday shopping
Helping buy Christmas gifts for children who might not otherwise have them
Heading out to our neighborhood Christmas parade to hand out fun packs and glow sticks to kids
Taking snack packs to more than 400 mall employees after church

Today, while reflecting on the impact a little light can make, I was reminded of the song we used to sing in Sunday School..."This little light of mine...I'm going to let it shine."  And I realized that every person in the world has opportunity to be a light in someone else's life regardless of faith background or beliefs.  I wonder what would happen if we all started looking out for our neighbors?  What if we found ways to be kind when no one expected it?  For our church, we see it as an opportunity to help people know that God loves them right where they are.

I believe it's this type of kindness that could change the world because "Every LIGHT Counts"--yours and mine!  Why not try and be a light this holiday season?

Reflections on a Saturday...

Our church is all about outreach.  If you've followed this blog for any time at all, then you know this already.  One of the things we are going to do to reach out globally is a monthly flea market.  So today was the first stab at this little undertaking.

First of all, I am well aware that it's no "little" thing.  There's all the collecting of stuff.  There's the sorting.  Pricing.  Setting up.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  But our church is filled with people who love to give so the team was large for this project.

It was a HUGE success!  I am still no fan of trying to make money 25 cents at a time.  And I really hate it when someone seems to want to bargain down a nickel or so.  But this was a slightly different flavor.  People knew it was for girls in Belize today.  So, in some cases, people even donated EXTRA money than their treasures cost!  I loved that!

Perhaps my favorite story of the day, though came from this little guy.  I do not know him, but isn't he cute??  He came to my table with his two quarters in hand to buy this train.  He was holding it as if he just bought pure gold.  So I walked over and asked him if I could take his picture with it.  He agreed.

I said, "You and Thomas smile!"  He stopped.  Looked at the train.  Looked at me.  Then said:

"He IS smiling already!"

I replied, "OK, you smile then!"  And this is the precious little picture I got.  His Grandmother came over to me just after this little photo exchange and told me that he started preK this week.  When his mother asked him how the first day went, he replied:

"I TOLD Miss A [his teacher] the whole alphabet, my name AND I counted for her AND she still wouldn't let me come home!"  I almost laughed until I cried right there.  I LOVE that little spirit!

On another "garage sale" note.  I was taking money and this lady walked up and said, "Aren't you Susan?"  While checking my mental filing cabinet and trying to figure out WHO she was, I said "yes".  She then said, "I used to cut your hair."  As it registered that she is the lady that cut my hair more than a year ago and I haven't been  back, I wanted to CRAWL UNDER the MONEY TABLE!  No.  I wanted to PAY HER to take her stuff.

Am I the only one who hates to switch hair dressers and feels like it's close to divorce?

The rest of the day has been pretty quiet.  Football is playing in the background.  I'm trying to get the kitchen back together and the boxes put away.  And all is well in our world.

Hope yours is also well!

Flushing it out...

As I indicated in my last post, I've been in somewhat of a funk lately. Again I want to reiterate that I know that my "issues" pale in comparison to the plight of so many people in the world. Still it's been a rough few weeks. I'm emotionally drained.

Some of you know that I work on our church's Servant Evangelism team. This means that we go out into the community to spread random acts of service and kindness in the name of Jesus. We have done many many different types of outreach here in our community. Saturday, though, was by far the most unique!
After reading about this in Steve Sjogren's book 101 Ways to Reach Your Community, our team decided we wanted to give a "toilet bowl outreach" a try. Yes, you read that right.

Here's the gist of it: You go into a business in the community and tell the employees that you'd like to give them a break today and help out by scrubbing the toilets. Of course, as you might expect, some people say yes and others say no. You NEVER do this AFTER visiting the bathroom first. But you always let the people know that it's our way of saying, "God loves you" and taking an often unwanted task off their hands.

A few weeks ago, at our planning meeting, I thought "yeah, I'm ready for this. Should be a great experience and totally unexpected." Honestly, this morning it was the LEAST and LAST thing that I wanted to do--with the exception of, perhaps, a root canal. I even conjured up excuses to let the participants know that I had to back out.

So, with my van filled with cleaning supplies, I headed off to meet the team. While driving to church, the clash of thoughts were swirling around my head: "I could just bow out. I mean I HAVE purchased all the things and set the teams up for success." "I could tell them that I'll pray for them."

THEN a still small voice whispered "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, SERVE." AND "The best way to get above your circumstance is to bend down and help someone else."

The "Set the example and get out of your comfort zone and beyond yourself" argument won. When I arrived, the team was smaller than expected. A team of four of us set out to local gas stations, convenience stores, and drug stores. What happened next was simply amazing!

Our team had two men and two women. When we asked the managers of the stores if we could give them a break, they were nothing short of blown away! Even those people who said, "No." were quite amazed and glad for the offer. One manager said, "That might be the oddest request I've ever had." Then he said, "Sure...if you want to clean 'em, go ahead."

At least a few times, we were able to tell people waiting on and/or visitng the restrooms what we were doing and why. Even THEY were surprised by this random act of kindness.

After spending a little more than an hour out in the community cleaning, we wrapped up. And, again, I was reminded the joy that comes in service. It's a pleasure to put a smile on people's faces. It's immeasurable in so many ways. We never know when our act of kindness might plant a seed that will grow into full-blown faith for another.

Sjogren says this is his favorite SE activity. He also says that this is the "most rejected" activity they do...yet, because of it's impact they do it again and again.

For me it was SO WORTH IT! My negative spirit was quickly flushed away. And all it took was a few toilet brushes, rags, and cleaners---oh, and a willing spirit!

And the Learning Continues...

Some of you might remember last year when our church hosted a Black Friday Coffee Give Away. It was absolutely one of our best Servant Evangelism outreaches! Because of last year's success, we decided to replicate it this year.

The way it worked LAST year is this: We sent a team out to the B*est Buy parking lot (with the store manager's permission) at 3:00am and we handed out free Sta*rbucks coffee to people standing in line waiting for the store to open. After the store opened, and our coffee line thinned out, we spontaneously moved over to JC Pe*nney. While there, the manager came out to see what we were doing and he was beyond THRILLED to see us and told us we could come back anytime.

Fast forward to this year:

I called B*est Buy to make sure they were OK with us setting up out there again this year. I left three different messages for the new store manager and was told that he would call us back. He didn't. I have to be honest, I didn't expect the call. It seems to be the way they operate.

Finally, last week DS 3 and I went to the store in person to try and see him (which is how I finally got last year's OK). He wouldn't come see me. He would only speak through the Customer Service person's earpiece to tell us that we could not "solicit" in the parking lot. The employee tried to explain that we did this last year...it was not soliciting...it was before the store opened and we "even cleaned up afterwards". Bottom line: no dice.

Also in this process, I called P*enneys and the manager there said, "Thank GOD! I've been WAITING on your call!" He couldn't remember which church it was that did this last year and he was more than happy to have us return!

I really wanted two teams. Two locations. I was sure that this is what "God wanted" too. I mean why wouldn't HE want us to share his love in several locations, right?? And we all know the appliance stores are the heaviest with crowds at that hour on Black Friday.

I got on the phone and started calling around to stores that generally have a crowd on Black Friday. Some said "no". Some managers were simply unavailable. Mich*aels craft store is one place that was THRILLED to have us set up out there. They share a strip mall location with Old N*avy, so we decided to give it a go and put our second team there.

DS 3 and I got up at 2:00am and headed to get the coffee.

We were meeting the first team at 3:30 at Pe*nneys. I have to be honest, on our way to the mall we drove through Be*st Buy's parking lot. The little devil that sometimes sits on the shoulder was whispering: "Hey, they can't STOP you from offering these cold people a free cup of coffee...go ahead, try it! The manager won't even know." It was a fleeting thing as I know that I do not want to leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth for the church...there's enough of that in the world without me adding to it because I want to be selfish and controlling! While scoping out the mall, we noticed a nice line in front of Se*ars as well. We ended up splitting that team in half and putting one team spontaneously @ Se*ars and the other @ Pe*nneys. It worked out perfect! Even when mall security came by he was fine...just wanted us to set up on the sidewalk so that we weren't in the fire lane. It wasn't long before these two mall teams ran OUT of coffee! We made a refill run for two more dispensers!
At 4:30, DS 3 and I headed over to get the team set up at the craft store. It was MUCH slower, but steady over there as there are several stores in the strip center.

By 7:30, our three teams of 15 people had handed out about 600 cups of coffee! We served every last drop! By contrast, last year we handed out just under 400 cups and had to discard about half a container at the end!

Shoppers were once again blown away that it was FREE! We tell people that it's simply our way of saying "God loves you." It's a simple act of kindness that opens the door for great conversations that are genuine and non-threatening.

As I pondered the beauty of it all, I was thinking about the fact that I was ready to take on Be*st Buy corporate. I was ready to write a letter to prepare for next year. It was an "injustice" and I was making my plan to figure out how to make it work MY way--which I was sure was "God's way"!

Yet, look at how blessed the time was! And gently, I could hear God's voice whisper: "See Susan? I am in the details! You thought you needed to go one direction and I sent you another." And maybe, just maybe, he's asking himself "When WILL she finally get it?"---but, because he's God, he knows the answer to that question, too.

I'm so glad that despite knowing whether this is the last time or there will be a hundred more...he loves me. It's also good to know that he can and will continue to allow me to serve despite my bent toward being a control freak!

It was a great day of service AND learning even if it happens on limited sleep at o'dark hundred!

It was BEAUTIFUL...

Our weekend was simply wonderful! The weather was GREAT! It was mild and sunny with no humidity. It's the weather that people who live in Florida brag about at this time of year.

Beyond the weather, though, it was a great time for our family.

Friday, DS 1 came home. It's so nice to see him and spend time visiting with him. He and his brother (my DS 2) played in a Ultimate Frisbee tournament on Saturday.

Saturday morning I took LG to an appt. with a new counselor. They use play therapy to help work out thoughts, ideas, feelings, and experiences. The counselor gave LG the option to have me in the session or not. She asked me to come.

While watching them work together, I was once again amazed at the power of play! I've seen this sort of session before when we had other foster children. But I just love watching it. These counselors use toys and conversation to help kids get into their own heads.

For example, LG was playing at a sand table. The counselor told her it was a story table where she could make her own story. Then she opened this drawer with a ton of toys inside...animals, trees, people, and other things. She watched LG arrange them in the sand and listened to her words. Every so often she'd ask probing questions about the characters, setting, or problem of the scene. Through these questions, the counselor (and even I) was able to get a glimpse into LG and her thought process. Fascinating.

Saturday afternoon we had our church's Fallfest. It was a free outreach event for the community. We had food, games, prizes, and inflatables. It was great fun. Here are a couple of pictures of that event:

The picture above is DS 4 trying out my "fall scene" for photos.

Here's LG giving it a try.

And DS 3 is dreaming of being in the sky rather than at the festival!

I have to tell you when my team leads these things I always worry. What if no one shows up? I mean that's a little scary! I explained to the team that it didn't matter if ONE person showed up, it was about being a presence on the corner where we are located. It was as much about the perception of the cars driving by. And it was a good time to minister to a few people and get to know our own church family.

It wasn't an overwhelming attendance, but it was a constant flow.

The thing that was so exciting was to see just how many people showed up for the church service yesterday! This is not the total purpose of the event, but it's nice to know that it was an entry ramp for some people.

The rest of Sunday was spent cleaning and digging out in some of the rooms in our house. (We steam cleaned the carpets in two bedrooms. It was quite productive.

So, there you have it, a glimpse into our weekend! I hope yours was just as lovely.

Like a Glove...

In so many ways, LG fits into our family like a glove--a missing puzzle piece found. It has been a HUGE blessing to see her interact with each of the boys. I think she loves all the positive attention that she receives from them. And I also think that she loves "helping" me overcome the HUGE problem of being the only girl in the house! :-) She told my DS 3 last week, "It's a good thing [Susan] has another girl in the house so she doesn't have to shop alone!" I love knowing that there's someone else who "gets" me! (LOL)

It was a BUSY week last week, thus my blogging waned. I am sorry.

Friday and Saturday she spent the day with my niece, H, my DS 4, and DH's Mom and Dad. Wow, did LG have a BLAST! She barely wanted to come home! Here they are blowing bubbles in the driveway.

And here are the girls playing "Polly Pockets" and "Littlest Pet Shop"...a great thing for LG. We are still collecting "girl" things in our house for her to play with. My wonderful MIL saved the day with these finds!I have to say that LG's village is just as much of a blessing as the boys!
Friends at work helped pull the Cinderella costume together in a BIG way! It's so nice to know that there are so many people wanting to reach out and breathe positive into this young girl's life. The drama teacher had the top. LG and I found the bottom (a bridesmaid dress from Goodwill) and my sweet friend Sandy hemmed it up for us. Our ESE teacher accessorized us to the nines!
We held a Block Party/Open House at our house on Halloween night. There she was able to meet even more of our extended family. Here she is with my nieces and nephew ready to hit the street for treats! She and my niece, K, were both princesses. So fun!

DS 1 came home for the Frisbee Nationals this weekend. It was fun having him around too! Here he is in his "Ultimate Frisbee" Halloween costume!DS 3 put on his 80's Outfit from spirit week at school last week. He CRACKS me UP with all of his spirit costumes! I need to make him model each one so I can get pics. They are hysterical! Honestly some of his family have been asking if he's been abducted by aliens. He's having a blast, though, and that's what matters!DS 2 had the all important job of going to the airport to pick up DH. He's been gone for 17 days and honestly we were missing him! He did pose for a picture with his Aunt before he left the party!Here are some of my sweet friends from church who came to help hand out cold water, "adult sized" candy bars, and treat bags to more than 200 people who dropped by throughout the evening! And here are the kids "trying out" the church treat table in our front yard!

Of course, we have the annual "I-show-off-my-loot" picture! LG had melted down and turned from Princess to "wicked witch" by this time (which is a whole OTHER blog), so only DS 4 was willing to oblige me and my camera for this picture. Gotta love the beach look on Halloween!
So, there you have it...a brief update from my neck of the woods. Honestly, this whole turn of events has reminded me just how blessed I am! I have much for which to be thankful. Our extended family have opened their arms and hearts to LG as if she's always been here. My friends continue to support me in unexpected and sweet ways. Our nuclear family is just abounding with compassion and joy.

I'm telling you, there are no riches worth more than that kind of love!

Friday Fave Five

My friend, Melli plays this meme on Fridays. She gets it from the host, Susanne at Living to Tell the Story. In this meme, we share our five favorite things from the past week. If you would like to play along just post your 5, link back to Susanne and visit her to see who else is playing along.

1. It turned cooler on Wednesday. What a GIFT that is when you live in southwest Florida. It's been so hot and humid lately that I forgot what it felt like. Although those of you in the north won't think it, the temp dropped to the mid-70's. It was gorgeous!!

2. I had a BLAST watching my DS 3 at the airband contest the other night. He just had so much fun. Since he's the most conservative of all my kids, it was fun to see him cut loose and enjoy himself on stage. I wish I could link up to the video which came out on Facebook today! Too funny!

3. Last night a team of teachers and I facilitated a parent/student night for K-1 children and their families. This program is called Partners in Print. I LOVE IT! It's a great time for families to learn more about helping each other develop literacy. The best part?? My friends Sandy and Jamie came and helped out just because they're those kind of people! I love it when people just give and don't expect anything in return. They are very special people!

4. Our church served free supper for our K-1 families last night. I love that too. It's so neat to be able to let the families know that someone has provided their supper at no charge. What a blessing!

5. Speaking of church, I'm going to host our second "Partycipate"...our version of a membership gathering...at my house tonight. Last Saturday, we had 19 people over to hear the vision and mission and get to know one another. Tonight, there will be another 25 people. I love getting to know people...especially while laughing and learning together.

Well...that's it! Happy Friday to all!

My Weekend Window

Let me first say that I WISH this is what it looked like outside my windows! It doesn't look anything like this, though...only in my mind!



What a busy weekend! Friday night was the "FCAT Dance". This is the dance that my school does for kids who score well on FCAT. It's part of a huge incentive program. It's a fun time especially because our former fifth graders, now in middle school, come back for it.

There's my DS 4 and his friend K. I have to tell you her face tells it all in this picture. Most of the time I would look for him, he was surrounded by girls.


I knew there was trouble when one came out of the posse crying! So I asked him, "A, are you causing the girls trouble?" He said, "I'm not doing anything!" I rephrased the question: "Are they upset over you?" To which he replied, "Yeah, they're fighting over me. I don't get it. All I want to do is dance!" I think the writing is on the wall with this young man. I need to fasten my seatbelt for sure!


Saturday night we hosted our church's first "Partycipate"...a sort of membership party for about 20 people at our house. It was a great time to get to know some people who have been coming that we didn't know as well yet.

I made my first ever homemade salsa and guacamole. Both turned out pretty well...according to my DS 2. I think it's so funny how everyone hangs out in the kitchen even when you have other spaces for people to spread out!

We will host another one of these this coming Friday. Now I'm trying to decide if I should do a different menu, or keep the one we used on Saturday???

Yesterday DS 4 and I headed up to Tampa to see my family. My brother, Dan, is getting ready to head back to Texas next week. It was good to visit with him and the rest of the family just casually before the hectic holidays start up!

I LOVED watching Amazing Race last night. This is one show that I really enjoy. So that is how I ended my weekend last night!

Now, it's time for a new and very busy work, school, and church week and the beginning of October. I have to say that THIS is what signals to me that I can start putting up my Fall decor. We will be getting all that down tonight. My boys know this is one of the things that keeps "Mama happy"!

Have a great week, everyone!

Hot Dog, It's Tuesday!

One glance at my bloglist tells me I should have considered doing a "Tuesday Meme". There are several of them out there. I almost gave in, but I really wanted to share our Sunday beach experience. Once again, I reminded myself there is no need to conform and I can just be "Me" right here.

As many of you know, our church has quite an active outreach program. It's rather "low key" as it's simply being out in the community being, doing, and giving random acts of kindness to others. When people ask "Why?" or "Is this really FREE?" We say, "Yes, it's free, it's our way of saying God loves you." And that's it. No pressure. No strings attached. Just a gift.

This past Sunday we took part in our second beach hot dog give away. Our first one was two months ago almost to the day. It wasn't without some fun as we had to weather quite a storm upon our arrival there.

We DO live in south Florida, which does have a pretty tropical climate. This means that a storm can pop up at almost any time in the afternoon. It also means that it really only lasts for a few minutes most of the time. This Sunday the weather fell right in line.

Here are some of our pictures:

The team set up at the picnic tables under the trees. We had 400 hot dogs to cook! The storm rolled in and literally to the left of us it looked like the first picture below and the next picture shows what it looked like if you simply turned a little bit!

Though the storms came, we were able to keep everything (except our people) dry! Twenty minutes after it rained, the team hit the beach and surprised people with this simple act of kindness!


DS 3 and I were talking and laughing about it and he said, "I'm pretty sure Satan sits around and thinks, 'Hmmm...that church is going out again...what can I do to try and stop them?'" I don't know if it's that extreme, but I do know that there is a very important lesson here that is summed up in a new Need to Breathe Song--"Even when the rain falls, even when the flood starts rising, even when the storm comes, I am washed by the water..."

Here's their new video which has a MUCH deeper message than enduring a little rain at a church outreach event!!