All Lives Matter

Her name was Yvonne.  She was in my second grade class in Southwest Florida in 1971.  I loved being her friend and was fascinated by her dark skin.  She also could take my thin blonde hair and braid it into the smallest silkiest braids ever!  She rode a bus to school.  At my age, I had no idea what that meant.  Today, though, I know that those bused into a school in the late 60's and early 70's were generally there for one thing: desegregation.  None of that mattered to me.  I liked hanging out with Yvonne and being her friend.

I wasn't raised to see differences in people.  My parents taught us to be kind to all--no matter what they looked like or believed.  But not everyone in south Florida taught their children the same way.

I distinctly remember asking my Mom if I could bring her home with me one day after school.  And while I don't remember the specific conversation that took place, I know the answer was "no".  But there seemed to be no reason for the "no."  I know I begged.  I know I cried.  I was heartbroken!

It wasn't until years later that Mom explained to me that it wasn't that she didn't want my friend to come over.  But it was a time in the south when we were forced to "worry about what the neighbors would think."  It wasn't because Mom didn't want to have Yvonne come visit and wouldn't have been hospitable as I traipsed another friend through our home.  No.  It was because she was worried about her safety and ours.  And maybe it wasn't even safety.  Maybe it was simply the chance that our family might have been outcast by a few bigots in the town where we lived.

Many years after that, as a fairly new mother with two babies to care for and not far from the town where I grew up...I experienced more of the potential for "shunning" by one group for your beliefs/values.  DH was a young pastor in our first full time church appointment.  It was in the country in 1990---almost 20 years after my first brush with racism.  Things had changed in our world.  People were far more tolerant.  Or so I thought.

We hadn't been at the church for more than 6 weeks when a couple of DH's friends from a neighboring city came to hear him preach.  It was a nice gesture.  Except they didn't "look" like the country folks we were serving.  No.  They were considered a multi-racial couple.  Neither DH nor I thought anything of it.  We were happy to have them make the trip to come hear him. It was, after all, a trek to get out there for them.

Later that Sunday evening, there was a meeting at the church.  It was right next door to our parsonage and it lasted late into the evening.  I remember thinking DH should have been home HOURS prior to when he finally walked through the door and announced, "the honeymoon is over."  You see, there were people in that congregation who believed that DH should have shut the door and not allowed "those people" through the door on that Sunday.  They absolutely had no tolerance for "people of color" and especially for "mixed marriages".  They wanted him to see things their way.  He would not.

I learned then that this sort of hate still exists and it broke my heart.  For months we endured hate-filled actions and conversations from people in that church as my DH and I stood our ground that God loves us ALL regardless of skin color!  It absolutely is one of the events in our lives that broke my heart the most, but also made me a proud wife as I watched and listened as my husband stood his ground calmly and politely through it all. Finally, six months later we were able to go to a new church since there wasn't the possibility for healing in the other one.  It was a true relief when there were people of all skin colors and socio-economic status in our new church!

These are two memories on my mind today as I watch the headlines.  We are in a time where there is a "Black Lives Matter" movement.  And I agree.  They do.  Last night, though, someone decided to retaliate against police officers to show their anger and frustration and now five police officers have died.  The truth is, they matter too!   And this is only weeks after 49 people were gunned down in an Orlando nightclub because of their sexual preference.

It's time to stop the violence.  It helps nothing and no one.  My Facebook post today sums up my own belief that was set in me from a very young age by my family who believed it:

 "All lives matter.  Period.  It's time for kindness and LOTS of it!"

What I've Learned from Running Half Marathons

I finished this race today.  I didn't finish as fast as I wanted to, but I did beat my February time by 16 minutes. My first 3 miles was my best pace ever (37 minutes---see note about starting too fast below), at 6 miles I was still at a good pace 1:17.  I even did well through mile eight.  At this point, we ran out to the pier where the wind was BRUTAL.  By mile 9 my feet were KILLING me and I had to go to the bathroom.  Just after mile 10, we ran through Tropicana field (where the Tampa Bay Rays play--around the perimeter of the field).  I was thankful for the SOFT astroturf and was able to RUN it out in there.  Mile 11 was just OK.  The last 3/4 of a mile, I was able to RUN. IT. IN.  This is huge for me as it meant I did have something to give.  Now to just pace it out a little better this February.  Below are the things I've learned from running half marathons(so far).

Well, I don't know if I really have all that much wisdom since I've only officially run two now.  But I have DEFINITELY learned (and keep learning) every time my feet hit the pavement.  Here, in no particular order, are some of the lessons I now have under my belt:

1.  You have to "run your own race".  My son (the Coach) has said this to me again and again.  It's HARD, though.  I WANT to be as fast as some of my friends.  I HATE seeing people pass me that I think I should be able to beat.  I have to remember: that's THEIR race and not mine.  (Still, I often set my sights on a runner or two or three that I want to beat in the end...and I can't lie, I find that motivating---just keeping it real).

2.  Today, while having a particularly hard time with my foot, I saw a sign that said, "Remember your 'why'." That's important for me.  I have to remember WHY I run.  I run because it's something that I never thought possible for me.  I run because it makes me FEEL good (most of the time).  I run because it's a way to clear my head.  I run for those who can't run...YET!  I run because it's helped me have a healthier body.  (For the record, while that foot was throbbing its way through mile 11, I saw a sign that said, "Your feet hurt because you're kicking butt!"  (I liked it.)

3.  If you're a SLOW runner (like me), it's not fair to yourself to minimize your runs.  Ever. I would not post my 13.1 sticker on my car after I finished Disney Princess in February 2012.  My time was much slower than I wanted.  I stopped and took pics along the way.  I convinced myself I wasn't worthy of putting that sticker on the car because I "wasn't a 'real' runner".  But, again, the Coach comes through and says, "The first time you run, you're a runner."  My 13.1 sticker will be on the car this week.

4.  Keeping track of your progress is motivating and a reminder of the growth you've had.  I'm thinking this is such a lesson for anything we're learning.  It's good to look back and see where you've been.  I am serious when I say I could not run SIX FEET when I started. Any record keeping helps with perspective.  It's good to know the steps you have to take to move forward too.  Data can be a very good thing.

5.  When you've gotta' "go" you've gotta' "go".  I learned, the hard way, that your body functions differently when you run.  Soooo...although I'd like to avoid the porta-potty at the races, I know that taking the time to take care of your body's needs is what really helps you move forward. And when you're in the middle ages, you have to listen to it...waiting is...well...not pretty.

6.  Running with people is a good thing.  I don't mean actually side-by-side running, because I really prefer to run with myself/alone.  It's one of the only times my world is totally silent.  And I love it!  I have these ladies that I've come to call friends who keep me motivated more than they may know.  Many are already serious runners.  They all have hearts the size of Kansas and can encourage ANYONE to keep moving.  I love having "running friends" who understand the maladies that often accompany this sport (from shoe issues, to toenail issues, to bathrooming). I love the encouragement and love they give.  (As an added bonus today, I got to meet my blogging friend, Linda from 2nd cup of coffee!  She came down from Indiana to run this race and it was definitely one of the highlights for me.)

7.  Starting too fast can be KILLER!  I tend to do this.  I know there's a scientific reason for it.  But isn't it true with everything?  If you come out of the starting block too fast, you lose momentum and have trouble really sticking with it till the end.  I'm trying to learn pacing in MANY areas of my life...running reminds me it's worth learning.

8.  Pushing your way through something hard is VERY REWARDING!  Sure I love the medal.  I love the celebration at the end.  I love cheering for others coming across the finish line.  But realizing that you can stick with something and get through it just feels good.

There you have it, the top 8 things I've learned in the last 18 months.  I'm sure there are more lessons, but right now I need to go put up my throbbing foot!  

When Summer comes...

May 12th was the last time I blogged. I don't know what is wrong with me. Well...I do know some of it. I'm busy. Life is changing. Nothing horrible or life-changing...just changing and I guess I don't deal as well with change as I used to. Anyway, it's not an excuse...My DS 3 gives me the "nudge" every so often. And I really WANT to catch up on it. So here's my first summer attempt to do so:

Although life is changing at home as the kids grow and change and as we prepare for LG's adoption, the biggest change for me this year is at work. My boss, who I have worked with for the past 9 years, will be working at a different school in the Fall. I've known it since March when he announced it, but June brought with it a reality that was very hard to take.

As I've processed my career and the people I've worked with and for, he's definitely at the top! I've worked for 11 principals in 25 years. That's a lot of personalities and people. Since I've done it before, then it should be "no big deal"...but, at our school, we are a family. So it's kind of like a family member moving away and preparing for one that you don't know. As I've reflected over the past nine years, I can honestly say I've grown more professionally than ever before under his leadership. For that, I will remain forever grateful!

In other "start the summer" news...DS 4 graduated from 5th grade. Here he is...my long haired lover from Liverpool(Can anyone else hear Jimmy Osmond singing that song?)...seriously, he's my soon-to-be-middle-schooler. To say it's hard to believe is an understatement. I'm proud as a peacock of all my kids and so glad this one has hit this milestone! On the LG front...her Mother has surrendered her rights and we will begin the process for adoption very soon. This is a little different than it is in some states. We will maintain contact with her family even as she becomes a part of ours. This means navigating the waters is quite interesting.

Her summer started off with an exciting event...her first dance recital! Here she is ready to go. It was fun to watch her on the stage! She LOVES IT! Her Grandmother and bioMom were there to watch it with us. I think she liked that. Honestly, though, I think nothing pleases her more than having DS 3 watch her. These two are like two peas in a pod. They think alike. They process alike. They have some of the same quirks and the same sense of humor. It's fun to watch them develop their sibling relationship. Here they are after the recital...

The day after the recital, DS 3, LG and I headed up to Panama City (a 7 hour drive from here) for a week on the beach with 14 members of our family. We were happy to see DS 2 and his GF up there (even if it's only for a few hours). These two are spending this week in Nicaragua on a mission trip. This is their second time in Nica in just over three months. To say their hearts beat for this place is an understatement. DS 3 and I will go pick them up Thursday at the airport. It will be exciting to hear the latest update on their work there.

I forgot that I had a LOVELY "Girls Night Out" with two of my dearest friends, Debra and Sandy. We went to see Comedian Chonda Pierce. She's an absolute riot! We laughed. We cried. We enjoyed our time to escape a bit...I'm so thankful for all of my friends who bring me such joy on a regular basis!

Back to "beach news"...this trip was with my Dad, StepMom, two Brothers, SIL, two nieces and a nephew, my Mom, and my crew. DH flew my Dad up on the second day. He stayed with us a few days and flew back to work. It was very relaxing and "tar-ball" free...as all week long people were worried about the oil spill hitting the beach. The best part was our nightly trek out to the sand to watch the sunset. BEAUTIFUL! And relaxing!!


Seven days later, we came home. No one was lobster-looking thanks to the 200 cans of Sunscreen we purchased!

It was fun to see DS 1 (who was unable to join us) on the way back. We stopped and had lunch with him and retrieved my Mom's dog. He was an awesome dog-sitter for the week.

As summer has ramped up into full gear...I find myself reflective. I am counting my blessings!

I hope this summer you find time to also count yours!

Did you?

I can remember reaching the end of some days in the regular classroom (after staring at 25 kids all day) when I would stop and ask, "Did you say something nice today?" It didn't happen often, but when it did, I'd just had a "cranky one" and I would find myself reflecting on how much of that I'd passed on to those children in my care. Sadly, sometimes my answer was "No, I don't remember many kind words." or "Hmmm...I'm not sure."

Lately I've been drained. Really drained. There are many reasons for this. It's the season of the year where life gets extremely busy for me. I coordinate our state testing at our school site, so it's time to crunch numbers, check and double check materials, and make sure all goes well with this exam. It's also the season where people start planning for the next school year...including job assignments. It looks like mine should stay the same again, but it's always a time of questioning anyway.

Beyond the job, our family has experienced much change in the past few months. LG brings us great joy, but it's still a change having another person around. Having DSs 1 an 2 move out has been a whole different kind of change. We're down to two drivers vs. the three that we had the entire time DS 2 was here at home.

Yesterday, we learned of the death of a person that DH and I went to school with years ago. She was our age (45), the wife of a fellow United Methodist Pastor, and mother to four children (teen - college). She had pneumonia and lost the fight very quickly. Terri was a positive person who loved the Lord. She always had a kind word or a smile for everyone. It's just plain sad.

Yesterday and today it's been on my mind. A lot. When I think about how drained I've been...the familiar question-- "Have you said kind words today?" has entered my mind followed closely by, "Have you laughed and smiled today?"

It's evident to me that these are the things that you leave behind when you go. It's when you've been kind and loving to others that you make an impact. And when you find the time to smile and find joy in life, it is contagious.

So....for you and for me:

Did you say kind words today?

Have you laughed and smiled?

It's time!

An Award and some Introductions..

I received this sweet blog award from Catherine over at TheGiesbrechts Time and Tide. a week or so ago. I "met" Catherine this past year through Linda's Random Dozen Meme. At the time I started following her, Catherine was going through the pain of losing a parent. Her response was absolutely amazing and so transparent. If you get the chance, go visit her...you'll be glad you did.

Here is the information on this award: The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blog world.

Below are the rules for accepting this award:

* Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
* Pass the award on to 12 fellow bloggers.
* Link the nominees within your post.
* Let the nominees know they have received the award by commenting on their blog.
* Share the love and link to the person whom you received this award from.

Soooo...here are 12 blogs that bring sunshine to my week...heck they bring sunshine to my life!
They are in no particular order--other than I went straight down my blogroll to add them here:

1. Melli over at Insanity Prevails I met Melli online a few years ago. We had the pleasure of actually meeting in real life when the Blogging Babes merged on Savannah in 2007. Melli has taught me so much via her blog, my email, and her friendship. She's one of my best "prayer pals"! This is one of the things that constantly amazes me about the blog world. I really have found some amazing friends!

2. Linda over at 2nd Cup of Coffee is someone I have never met in real life, but with whom I feel quite connected. Her posts make me laugh regularly. She is a joy to "read". We realized that our lives sort of intersected several years ago when her church (from Muncie, IN) was on a mission at our former church (in Pt. Charlotte, FL). That was before blogging...but I have always felt like I know her "in real life" for that reason.

3. Next up is Allie of Allie Chilling. Allie is from South Africa. I love her spark when she writes. She shares some fun and insightful blogposts. It has been a joy to get to know this blogging friend from a totally different place!

4. Lauren at Baseball and Bows is such a "bright spot" blogger! She has the sweetest stories of her children and their sweet sayings. Lauren was a teacher before she stayed home with her children. She loves books, reading, and making memories with her family.

5. Kelly at Chatty Kellyis someone I met through Linda's blog. She's become one of my favorites as she posts about her life as well as her faith. She challenges me and brings such joy as she uncovers some of God's promises to us.

6. Jane at Cozy Reader is one of the first blogs I started reading as I ventured into the blogging world. She and I have also met in real life. We are both "Minister's Mates" with husbands who graduated from Asbury Seminary. We connected pretty fast and she, too, is one of my prayer pals online.

7. Busy Bee Suz at Day by Day with Suz is the next recipient. She is a "newer blog" read for me, but I find her musings just delightful! I suppose one of the first things that attracted me to her was her name "Suz" cause many of my friends and family call me "Sooz"...and I thought it was cool to find another one "out there" in blogland. But her posts are definitely what keep me coming back.

8. Leigh Ann at Living to learn and Learning to Live is another "long time blog read" for me.
I honestly feel as if I am watching her children grow before my very eyes! Leigh Ann is a homeschooling Mom who lives in the north. She shares her stories about life with her kids and family as well as her amazing craft creations. She's quite creative!

9. Mary at Mary Hess is yet another blogger I have met in real life. She and I "met" via another website for Christian women a few years back (before blogging). We followed each other into the blogging world. She even designed one of my blog layouts a while back--cause she's a great friend like that! I love reading her insightful posts. She, too, is one of my online prayer pals. I love having these people in my life. They keep me focused and centered when I need it---and even when I think I don't!

10. Merrie at Merrie Days is also a fellow Minister's Mate. I don't even know how our paths crossed, but I am SO GLAD they did! She has an amazing family and shares her life with them as well as in the ministry. Her blog brings me joy!

11. Liz at Tickled Pink is someone I know in real life. She worked at my school and I have LOVED watching her blogging journey as she's become a first time Mommy! Her stories of life with Abby are delightful. They take me back to the time my guys were little. It really DOES seem like just yesterday on most days!

12. Daisy over at Lazy Daisy Log is also one of the "Blogging Babes" I met in Savannah! She is a real inspiration to me as she shares the joys of family and ministry via her blog. Daisy is also one of my online prayer pals. I love her encouragement and "you-can-do-it" spirit! What a joy!

So, there you have it. I hate narrowing down the blogroll to only 12 people! The truth is I follow WAY MORE than 12 blogs. I love reading them all and they ALL bring me sunshine in so many ways or they wouldn't be on my list!

Happy Blogging and Happy Saturday!

This morning I opened my eyes and I thought, "Wow, I am so abundantly and richly blessed! Thank you God!"

I am first and foremost thankful for His love that sustains me each and every day. Without my faith, I know I would be lost and lonely. I love the shirt someone described in church last week. It was a t-shirt that read "I'm the wretch" (or something like that). It was a reference to one of the best hymns ever" "Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound that saved a WRETCH like me." Yep, I'm one of the "wretches" that has experienced that amazing and marvelous grace.

Of course, right after my thanks to God I am thankful for my DH. Last night he pulled me aside and asked if I was OK. Then he proceeded to tell me that the boys informed LG that sometimes Mrs. Susan gets a little "crazy" just before a holiday...trying to make sure it's the way she wants it. (Glad they all know their wife/mother well.) Anyway, I cannot begin to tell you what this wonderful man does for me, and for us, each and every single day. He is a rock and I love him for it.

Each one of my kids are such blessings to me. I am so thankful that they are each on a unique journey and have really had no major growing-up issues that so many young people experience. They love learning. They love helping others. They love their family. I could not ask for any more.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone that once again reminded me just how blessed I am in regards to extended family! Our family has always been close. We enjoy being together. We enjoy laughing and having fun. I love that! It's hard for me to understand that this is not the "norm" for everyone. I realize it's special...but I sometimes forget just HOW special. I am thankful for each and every one of our extended family.

I could go on and on counting my blessings one by one. I won't though. There isn't time this morning. I have to get ready for this day of thanksgiving.

As I close, let me also assure each person who reads and/or comments on this blog--I am thankful for you as well. I never thought my blog would be such a blessing. It's amazing to know there is another "unseen" community of support out there. I am thankful for YOU too.

May you be richly blessed this Thanksgiving and always!!

Friday Fave Five

My friend, Melli plays this meme on Fridays. She gets it from the host, Susanne at Living to Tell the Story. In this meme, we share our five favorite things from the past week. If you would like to play along just post your 5, link back to Susanne and visit her to see who else is playing along.

1. It turned cooler on Wednesday. What a GIFT that is when you live in southwest Florida. It's been so hot and humid lately that I forgot what it felt like. Although those of you in the north won't think it, the temp dropped to the mid-70's. It was gorgeous!!

2. I had a BLAST watching my DS 3 at the airband contest the other night. He just had so much fun. Since he's the most conservative of all my kids, it was fun to see him cut loose and enjoy himself on stage. I wish I could link up to the video which came out on Facebook today! Too funny!

3. Last night a team of teachers and I facilitated a parent/student night for K-1 children and their families. This program is called Partners in Print. I LOVE IT! It's a great time for families to learn more about helping each other develop literacy. The best part?? My friends Sandy and Jamie came and helped out just because they're those kind of people! I love it when people just give and don't expect anything in return. They are very special people!

4. Our church served free supper for our K-1 families last night. I love that too. It's so neat to be able to let the families know that someone has provided their supper at no charge. What a blessing!

5. Speaking of church, I'm going to host our second "Partycipate"...our version of a membership gathering...at my house tonight. Last Saturday, we had 19 people over to hear the vision and mission and get to know one another. Tonight, there will be another 25 people. I love getting to know people...especially while laughing and learning together.

Well...that's it! Happy Friday to all!

Why whine when we're blessed?

I have to tell you, I can be a whiner sometimes. I try not to do it. I try to keep my chin up and not complain. But occasionally the whine slips through my filter and right out into the open.

If you read my last post, then you know that I've been a little stressed at work. I know that ultimately my moving is the "right thing"...but it DOES NOT make it easy. And it doesn't mean that I am not a bit emotional over the whole thing. It would be easy to get stuck in the muck and the mire, but I am making the choice to make the best of it and muddle through my emotions to take the next step in location.

I have to say, though, in the last 24 hours I have been the recipient of MORE blessings than I can count. Right in the midst of my whining!

It started with the food delivery and box top pile. Last night, I came home later than usual. My wonderful in-laws had dropped off "Grandma's Kitchen" for us...complete with new foods to taste-test. On the fridge was a note telling us what had been delivered. The thing that really got me was the P.S. from my MIL. She saw a mountain of General Mills Box Tops on my counter that needed to be cut. The P.S. asked if I wanted her to do that for me. I gotta' tell you this simple offer made me cry on the spot! Even though it seemed like a small "mountain"...I had been trying to finish the task admist everything else for a couple of days.

Today, my sweet DS 2 offered to come help me move stuff to my new room. Now please understand that this is the same son who helped move from my old office to my "new old" office just a few months ago. He got his grandfather, my FIL, to come with him. Right when they arrived, it started raining and it did not stop for the rest of the afternoon. Yet, those two did NOT stop! Thanks to them there is only a small bit left to do tomorrow and then I can concentrate on getting stuff put away and organized.

At home I had been preparing to host a Tastefully Simple party for my neighbor who is a consultant. I'd been promising her for months that I would do this. I had several people RSVP and ready to come this evening. DS 3 totally made sure things were ready to "Mom's specifications" around the house before I came home.

At five o'clock, I got a call from my neighbor (the consultant) who told me that she'd been running a fever and was getting worse. She had already had the food ready to go with the help of her family. My party was at 6:30. She said she was going to send it over and let us enjoy it.

I immediately called my friend Sandy who loves to cook. She said not to worry she'd be here to help. And she was....we just faked our way right through the party and had a blast sampling and tasting the stuff. My friends are simply the best as they didn't care either way...they are so flexible and helpful and just all around super people.

After they left, I sat with my boys and once again reflected on all my blessings. I think I'll count them tonight as my head hits the pillow...as I sing "You'll fall asleep counting your blessings!"

Night!

Book Review: Best Friends Forever

( Important Note: I know that many of you solely read Christian fiction. If that is the case for you, this book may not be appropriate for you to read.)

I wanted a "new read" when I was at the store last week. I don't know why.

I have PLENTY on my night stand to keep me busy for a while, but nothing there was calling my name. So, while browsing the book aisles at Target, this book jumped out at me. I don't know if it was the crisp clean cover. The fact that it's about a subject that I care about deeply. Or maybe it was some other hidden force that put the book in my hands.

Still, I'm glad it ended up in my cart and moved its way to the top of my "to be read" pile!

The book tells the story of Addie Downs and Valerie Adler. They were best friends from the time Valerie moved across the street from the Downs at the age of nine. As it is with life, however, they are swept apart as they age.

On the eve of their fifteen year class reunion, things change.

Valerie, a successful weather reporter from the local news station, shows up on Addie's doorstep. Valerie announces to Addie (who did not attend the class reunion), "Something horrible has happened and you're the only one who can help."

And the adventure begins. The book is a modern day fairy tale complete with a "Thelma and Louise" flavor! It is funny. It is raw at times. It deals with such real-life themes as: betrayal, loyalty, family history, and small-town life.

If it were a movie, it would definitely be PG-13. There are, at times, mature themes and situations in the pages. Typical high school issues like bullying, jealousy, cliques, and popularity are addressed. But so is date rape. I found it a fun read, though, as it primarily draws the rediscovery of a very special friendship that has never really died.

On a side note: I went to author Jennifer Weiner's website and LOVED her FAQ's as well as her hints for people who want to be writers. (Again, no faith-base here. Just raw real glimpses into a very cut-throat world.) It made me laugh out loud as I read it. In fact, I thought to myself: "I'd like to meet this woman." Lo and behold at the bottom of her very long list of FAQ's she responds to this very question in this way:

I haven’t written a novel, and I don’t have an idea
for one, but you seem really cool, so maybe we could get together and have coffee! I am not really cool. I am not cool at all. In person, I am incredibly boring. My conversational topics are almost entirely limited to reality television, and how I don’t like old people. I rarely manage to look even a tenth as good as I do in my author photo. My table manners are iffy. Many days I don’t even comb my hair, and when I’m not writing I’m usually pushing a stroller and have applesauce smeared somewhere on my person, so in the interests of not having you be disappointed by the real deal, I am going to respectfully decline. But thanks! And please come to one of my readings, where nine times out of ten my hair is combed

Update from My World

My gosh, I went and posted about 1000 posts and committed to the next thousand, then dropped off the face of the earth! Well, sort of.

I've been on vacation and finishing out the last days of summer. Really, though, that's only an excuse, cause summer or vacation have never kept me from blogging before. Sooo....here's my little catch up:

DSs 3 and 4 and I left with my Dad, Stepmom, Brother and his family on Thursday, July 23rd to drive to Ohio to see our family. We had an amazing weekend of family picnics, reunions, and such. Here's a picture of the whole gang:While this only represents a small portion of this side of the family, it was a great event with lots of fun for all. DSs 3, 4, and I took a side trip over to Indiana to visit my friend Suzi and her family. We had a great time enjoying their sweet small town! While there, we enjoyed the county fair and the weather. Wow, the weather! It was so nice to be able to actually BREATHE the cool evening air...minus humidity.

We returned a week ago and had a somewhat busy week.

DS 3 turned 15 on Wednesday. Now, he's part of the reason I needed to blog. He reminds me when I'm "falling behind". But yesterday he said, "You have never missed one of our birthdays." OUCH!

While we were in Ohio, we took a trip to one of his favorite places: Wright-Patterson Airforce Base to see the National Air Museum. He studied his driver's manual all the way to Ohio and all the way home. In fact, I didn't realize how many things I didn't know about the road signs and rules. Wednesday morning, we added one more student driver to the roadways here in FL. He's doing GREAT.

As he grows older, it's so evident that he's a rock. He is stable and consistent. He is someone that everyone in our family goes to for his reliability. If I want to know something about what someone else is doing in our little family, I can often ask DS 3 and he knows. He is keenly observant and often keeps us all in motion, or at least keeps track of our motion. I'm so thankful for the young man he is becoming. He is a blessing to be sure. I'm excited to see him continue his journey through the teen years and into his young adult life.

In other news, DS 1 will leave for school this week. He really doesn't want us to go help him move. Instead, it will be his brother (DS 2) and his friends. I guess when you've been to boot camp already, and it's not your "freshman year"....it's not "cool" to have your family help out for this event. He and I made a trip to Ikea to get him set up, however. I know he's excited to get going on this new chapter of his life.

Hard to believe but school starts for me next week. I am glad. I have always said that I am a better working Mother. It's true. I like everyone to have places to be and things to do. Including me! I'm looking forward to another school year.

So, that pretty much sums up our last few weeks. I do have a book review to post...stay tuned for that.

Forever Friends

We met 27 years ago this coming Fall. It was our freshman year of college. I don't know exactly HOW it happened, but I'm so glad it did!

The year was 1982. Three of us lived in the same dorm. We had a very large group of friends who enjoyed hanging out, walking around the lake that bordered our college, laughing, eating pizza, talking till all hours of the night and learning together. We went to church together. We participated in campus activities together. It wasn't long until the four of us decided that we would room somewhat together the following year: Beth with Leigh and Lala with me.

Beth and Leigh lived downstairs. Lala and I lived upstairs. Still, we were often found in each other's rooms. Since we were all Elementary Education majors, we even shared many classes. As the years went by, we continued to laugh and cry and grow together.

I cannot describe how precious these friendships were (and are) to me. I can tell you, though, that I know it was a very special time. The four of us shared everything with one another. I can honestly say that DH and I are probably together today because two of these girls asked HIM to take me to my sorority formal. There is no question that they set it in motion.

A short year after we graduated, three of us were married. Two years later, the fourth was married. All of us were in each other's weddings. I'm sure there were times we vowed to "stick together" even as our lives changed and we began our families. And in some ways we have. Over the years, one or two of us would get together and catch up.

Still, sometimes life and time get in the way of nurturing relationships. It happens and it's sad. The last time the four of us were together at the same time was about 18 years ago. Until now.

This weekend, we came together and spent time reconnecting. It took no time at all. In fact, it seemed that not one second had passed since the last time we were together. We laughed. We remembered.

What we have is a real bond. It is a precious "forever friendship" that withstands the test of time and distance. I could not be more blessed. It is so true that a true friend is a treasure...and these are true forever friends!

One thing we know for sure after our time away is that it won't be another 18 years before we are together again!

The Mark of a Good Friend

I am home sick today. As a result, I didn't get out of my PJ's right away. DH had a few meetings. DS 3 is off at school. DS 4 is also here with me hacking and coughing away. DS 2 headed out to school about 8:30.

Around 9:15am I was making some toast and I heard someone knock on the door. My first thought was, "WHO could that be? I look horrible and I don't have proper clothes on!" It turned out to be a friend of my older boys who lives down the road. Actually, he is more like an extra brother to my boys. They are very close.

Anyway, I said "Hi, M! Did you need something?" M said, "Yeah, your [DS2] asked me to drop by." I let him in thinking my son probably forgot a book or an assignment for a class today. And right after I thought how nice it is that my boys have such good friends, M said, "Yeah, he wants me to get his deoderant. Do you know where it might be?"

Uh, did he say "deoderant"??? Yep, he did! I helped him find it and sent him on his way I'm sure much to the approval of everyone who crosses my DS 2's path today! Now, THAT'S a good friend!!

What a Weekend!!

This was quite a busy weekend! Although it was busy, it was also fulfilling.

Friday night I went with three friends for a "Girls' Night Out" as we went to see the musical Wicked! Our seats were fabulous...and we treated ourselves to a great dinner at PF Changs before the show. We laughed and enjoyed our "Estrogen Only" evening! We decided we are going to do it more. Our next adventure will be to see the new "Menopause the Musical" type show called "Waist Watchers" in Tampa. I CAN'T WAIT!!

I got home from the show around 1:30am and enjoyed a little middle-of-the-night conversation with my DS 2. He's a night owl and was up playing Nintendo at a friend's house. He came home about the same time and we visited for a bit before I really called it a night.

Saturday, DS 3 and DH went to an airshow. They love doing this and this is the month when there is one (or more) happening every weekend in our state.

DS 4 stayed home with me. He couldn't decide WHAT he "wanted to do"...and after going outside for just a few moments, I knew we HAD to be outside. It was absolutely GORGEOUS out! So, he and I headed to the beach. We stayed and played and relaxed for three hours out there. The weather was perfect.

I have to say I have crossed a new threshold in my life. Before we went to the beach, I needed to stop and get sunscreen and restock a few "beach essentials". For the first time EVER in all my 44 years, I bought a floppy straw hat to protect my head and face. I was sitting on the beach with my hat and my sunglasses thinking, "Wow...this must be a sign of aging." Oh well...I'm not burned and I was quite happy under my hat!

DS 2 met DS 4 and I later that afternoon for ice cream. It was a nice little treat on a beautiful day.

Yesterday was a great service at church and a lovely lunch with DS 3 and I. I love spending 1:1 time with my kids! Then, I pretty much lazed around the rest of the afternoon.

It was the perfect weekend to remind me just how blessed I am to have a wonderful family and a fabulous place to call home. Have a great week, everyone!!

Saturday Snippets

I think I'll stick with the Saturday Snippets from Susan theme for this week as well. Here are my snippets in no particular order.

YFirst of all, I have been sick this week with a terrible cold. I took Monday off of school and then pushed to go in the other days since the dreaded FCAT (Florida's State Test) came in this week and has to be prepared for administration. Thank goodness I have some great help and we are almost completely ready.

YThis sickness has shown me what a blessing my friends are. See my last post. They've blown me away this week cause it's not like a dying sickness...only an "I don't feel like doing anything" sickness. Still their care and compassion has been so touching.

YWhile I didn't mention it in yesterday's post, I am also VERY THANKFUL for my blogging friends. I love your emails and your well-wishes via comments. You also are a BLESSING to me in so many ways! I don't know if I'll ever really get over how neat it is to have people you can call "friend" that you have never seen face-to-face.

YFor my blogging friends that I've had the blessing of meeting...I also don't think I'll ever get over the "coolness factor" of meeting someone for the first time and feeling so connected to them! I mean who goes and spends the night with a bunch of "total strangers" and has a total BLAST??? (Can you say "Bloggin' Babes"?)

YDH finally got home last night. He worked in Texas all week. I have missed him!!

YDH, DS 2, and DS 3 flew to Jacksonville today for a really cool audition for DS 2. I'm not going to go into it too much yet, but if you read this today, please send up a prayer for the three of them and for DS 2 as he reads his monologue sometime between 2:00 and 5:00 today. I'll fill you in when I can.

YDS 3 made it over the pole vault bar at track practice on Thursday! They practice with it at 6ft. He was so excited! He is looking forward to this week's track meet on Tuesday where he will once again try and clear seven feet. He is still amazing me!

YDS 4 has a very full social calendar today. He is going to two back-to-back birthday parties. I'm looking forward to the total quiet that will be in my house while NO ONE is home! ;-)

YDS 1 called this week. He is at AIT in Texas. He is being trained as a "combat medic". He told me he is determined to get top scores on everything. Today I read some of the notes from his basic training platoon comrades. Wow! Talk about being proud. Their comments about him actually made me tear up a bit! They are just seeing what we've known all along.

YWe're going to a friend's 50th birthday celebration tomorrow. She is collecting children's shoes for gifts so that she can give them to needy children in the community. I love that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friends

Do you remember the song, "Make new friends, but keep the old; One is silver and the other gold."? Last night as I lay down to sleep, that song came to my mind. I have had this amazing week with "old" and "new" friends. (Note: I am considering an "old friend" anyone I have known ten or more years.)

Last Saturday I went to "Girls Night In" with some of my friends from school. It was hosted by one of my newer friends, Kelly. My long time friend, Debra, and I went. There were 9 or 10 of us there--some "old" friends and others newer to me. Some of the ladies were sleeping over. We sat around laughing and talking and eating and being "women" for an evening. Even after I left (which was after 11) they watched movies and played games into the wee hours of the morning. It was an absolute blast just hanging out and being with a bunch of "girlfriends".

By Sunday, I was starting to get a bit of a cold. I received an email from a friend I've made in the last few months at church, Connie. She knew that DH was out of town and said, "May I bring you all dinner this week? I like to do things for working Mom's once-in-a-while?" I thought, "We don't NEED her to bring us dinner." But I told her that while she didn't have to do it, that it would be nice. She said she'd bring it on Wednesday.

I ended up staying home on Monday. One of my newer friends, Katie, saw that I was sick when she read my Facebook page. She sent me a note to ask if she could do anything. I declined as I had everything I thought I needed. Still, it was so nice that she asked because I absolutely know she'd have been there in a second.

By Tuesday, I had to push back to work because the state tests were arriving and I am the test coordinator at my school. While there, I received a phone call from another newer friend from church, Carrie. She had also heard that I was under the weather and she wanted to bring me some homemade soup! I never could coordinate getting the soup with our strange schedule and the track meet that day. Still, I was moved that she wanted to do that for ME!

Wednesday morning I woke up and checked my Facebook status and there was a message from an "OLD" friend, Kelly. Kelly and I were friends from about the time we were 4 - 9 years old. She lived down the street from us. They moved away and we lost touch after that. I did hear from her for a brief time when we were in high school, but other than that...we had not heard from each other. Low and behold, she found me on Facebook! And she only lives about an hour from me now! The conversations we have had via Facebook over the last 24 hours have been like a good soup for me.

Wednesday night, our dinner from Connie arrived. I felt worse Wednesday than I have all week. I have to say that dinner suddenly became a double blessing, because I did NOT feel like cooking. I know my boys enjoyed it as much as I did.

Later Wednesday night, I reconnected via my old friend Kelly, another old friend, Cindy. Cindy also lived on our street when we were very young. We played for HOURS together. We have tons of pictures together--which I cannot wait to share with these girls.

Needless to say, last night I went to bed so thankful! I believe in the power of friendship. I know that there are different "kinds" of friends. Some are really close and intimate, others a bit removed from that level. Some are seasonal and others are lifelong. Some are "fun time" friends others are "anytime" friends. Still, all are important; each one a gift. And I am richly richly blessed by mine!

Foreshadowing...

I spent time in my DS's classroom today while his teacher had to go run an errand. DS 4 was out of school sick, so he wasn't there. Still, I love this class of kids. They are really fun to talk with and just all-in-all SWEET.

Anyway, while I was in there, one little girl (who struggles with almost every concept) asked me about MATH! In my heart of hearts I was thinking, "NO! Do NOT ask me about MATH--anything but THAT! I have to reach out to my own DS 4's village when it comes to helping him with math on a regular basis." My second thought was, "Maybe I can find the teacher's guide for reference." Suffice it to say, she DID ask me a math term and I could find no teacher's guide.

It was a simple question for which I should have had an answer in seconds. But I didn't. We muddled through it together. I am not going to lie...it was the BLIND leading the BLIND. Just not right.

Now a little over a week ago, my friend Sandy (her teacher) made a comment about elementary teachers being "afraid to teach math". She noted that this really shouldn't be THAT hard. I mean we've all got college degrees, right?

A little elementary math shouldn't make any educated adult fret and break out in a cold sweat. For the most part, she's right (except it DOES get me jittery at times). Just because I don't know a term or a procedure the way it is presented "these days" does not mean that I am incompetent and could not figure it out. I tell myself it's because I haven't been using each of these skills or concepts on a regular basis. I'm sure there's a little truth in that, though some of it may just be that it's "not my thing".

Despite her reminder that all would all be well, today made me realize just how reliant I will be on all of my mathematical colleagues and as many resource books as possible for support when I am once again teaching this subject. I'm so glad I work in a place where people ARE supportive and helpful in times of weakness.

Cause I know I'm not incompetent, but when it comes to this subject, I am definitely inept!

Prayer Requests...and Our Response

I noticed something the other day. In the span of a few hours, I saw two different “prayer requests” hit the Internet between four different people. For the purposes of my observations, I’m going to call these four people by make-believe names:

Requa – requestor # 1
Questa – requestor #2

Cippy – recipient #1
Reci – recipient #2

Requa and Questa both put their prayer requests online to their respective group of readers and friends. In both cases, the requests were simple but non-specific.

Cippy responded to Requa’s request to “pray for her family” with this message: “I’ll pray, but names and specific situations are important and help greatly.”

Reci responded to Questa’s request to “pray for me” with this message: “I’m praying. Whatever your need is, God knows and He loves you. Let me know if I can help.”

I have seen responses like Cippy’s once too often when someone asks for prayer. The truth is, God DOES know. He doesn’t need US to give HIM specifics. In my opinion, Cippy’s response crossed a line. It is heading toward NOSEY. If Requa wanted to be specific, I’m sure she would have.

Reci’s response, in my opinion, is the one that ALL Christians should have when asked to pray. If, and when, Questa wants to share more about her situation, Reci has left the door open. More importantly, though, GOD does KNOW. And when we can honestly say we will pray even when we don’t know the specifics, I think it shows a certain level of faith and trust that HE CAN work in any situation. And that HE doesn’t need US to fill him in!

I confess, I have been in the situation where I was more curious than anything when someone asked me to pray, but didn’t “fill me in”. I try not to poke and prod, but I can’t say I have always been successful at this. I think, as I’ve grown in my faith, I work to respond more as the person who simply takes the request for what it is…a true heart-felt request. And, I DO pray for the requestor.

So, why am I writing this? I am not completely sure. It's simply what's on my heart and mind today.

I do believe that “prayer requests” have a very REAL danger of becoming gossip and meddling. I've seen many instances of this over my years in Christian circles. And I know when someone asks us to pray, we have a very real choice to make. We can be supportive of them where they are and offer to lend a true listening ear if, and when, it’s needed. Or, we can become meddlesome and possibly more damaging to a person in need.

It’s a fine line. May we all walk it well.

Welcome 2009!

2009 came rather quietly here in our house. DH and I went to a New Year's Eve party for a bit, but then came home to watch the ball drop in Times Square. I am always amazed when Dick Clark makes it for one more year (although it's sad to watch him).

DS 1 leaves tomorrow to go back to basic training. The Christmas decorations are put away. We are going to go to the "river" as a family for the next couple of days for one last visit before my Dad sells it. And Monday we will return to school/work.

I have to say that my mood at the end of 2008 and looking into 2009 is content. I love where we are in our lives. We are enjoying our friends and family. And I am blessed.

When I count my blessings, there is no doubt that my blogging friends are a big portion of them. And I am so greatful for my friends and my family. So I want to wish each of you a year filled with blessings and joy!

Happy New Year!

Sometimes Christmas Cards Make Me CRY!

This year, I've received a couple of cards that have just broken my heart.

The first one came from a person who attends our last church. She and her husband were in our home several times. He was a leader while my DH was pastoring there. They were very special to us. When I opened the card, I noticed it only had HER name on it. I had DS 2 call a friend down there and sure enough, he had died this summer.

I was SO sad! Of course, I was sad that he died. I was sad for her. But I was also sad that we are THAT disconnected in some ways. I wish I had known. I am sure DH and I would have been there to remember this sweet man's life.

Yesterday, I received one with a name I did not recognize on the return label. It was rather thick and from my hometown, so I thought "maybe it's a friend who's reconnected with me and married or something." I honestly didn't know. It wasn't until I saw the woman's first name along with her two sons on the card that I realized she has also "lost her husband". She has either gone back to a maiden name or remarried. Now I have no idea if they divorced or if he, too, passed away. But, it's still sad to me.

Like most people, I love the "good news" update letters and cards with the expected signatures on them. But these cards that immediately "feel wrong"...because they scream loss...make me downright sad.

My Weekend Window (Sort Of...)

Life's been busy busy busy around here! It's been a while since I've done a Weekend Window. I thought that'd be the easiest way to bring anyone who's still visiting this blog up-to-date.

Thursday night I had the pleasure of going to dinner with my college roommate, her husband and one of their daughters. Jeanine and I were roommates 26 years ago during our Freshman year of college. She and her husband married shortly after that year. We've kept in touch over the years, but literally have not seen each other in about 24 years! What a blessing our visit was. And it served as a reminder that we need to do all we can to MAKE the time to visit with friends and family as often as we can.

Friday, DH and I took our DS 3, his GF, DS 4 and his friend to our local high school's jazz concert. They have won several national competitions and are now headed to defend the title. This was the first time we met DS 3's GF and her parents. Let me tell you it was not without incident!

After school, I went for my regular Friday night workout. I was rushing home to jump in the shower before we headed out to the concert. When I got to the house, there she was WITH her Mom, Stepdad and brother! How proud I was to be hot, sweaty and "ripe" for this meeting! It all worked out, but I'd have given anything to have had a "back way" into my bathroom to avoid meeting them in that condition!

Saturday was our school's Christmas Party. We had a great time! It actually gave me the "kick in the pants" I needed to start my own decorating. I mean I still had my Fall stuff out!

{This blogger is now reclined on the therapist's couch.} I went back to revisit old blogs cause I thought for sure I had griped about confessed this before on this blog. I can't find it. So, if I'm being repetitive, then you have a better memory than I---and that would require a whole other kind of doctor. Back to my confession:

I have worked at the school for 10 years now. That's TEN Christmas parties I've attended in that time. Each year, they do a "Scottish Gift Exchange"...or whatever you call it. It involves numbers, and stealing, and laughing for sure. For me, though, it involves GREAT STRESS!

It used to be that each person would take a number. The first person chose a gift and opened it. Then the second person chose a gift and opened it and decided if he or she wanted that gift or wanted to TRADE with someone else who had an opened gift. People didn't want to offend the giver, so often no one traded. It kind of plodded along, and in my opinion, was boring.

When my boss came 8 years ago, he said, "No one's stealing other people's gifts!" I said, "That's cause they don't play the "right" way." You see when I've played this is how it goes:

You take a number. In order, you either choose a gift from under the tree OR you take a gift from someone else. That person can then steal or chooose a gift under the tree. But there is none of this "open it, then decide whether you want it or not and then go trade with someone for what you do want" stuff. So, the next year, I took over.

I gave the "new" rules and guess what? People laughed and stole gifts and had a great time. All except for ONE person who reminded me over and over and over again that "THIS is NOT the "RIGHT" way to play the game!" and "We've NEVER played it THAT way before." Now, that was 8 years ago and here we are supposedly older and wiser, but every year she reminds everyone that "we never played it that way until "Susan N. came along and changed all the rules!" And trust me, it's not an "I've seen the light" kind of remark!

Now, this person happens to be of the Jewish faith. I am sorry to admit that the year our party fell on Hanukkah I was so excited cause she wasn't there to fuss about the "rule change".

And to add to my list of "weird but true facts about me"...let me tell you this STRESSES ME OUT. Each year, I get so worked up over playing this game that I really wonder if I need to be locked up somewhere. It starts the minute the invitation for the party goes out. Last year, I decided that I would not play for the first time so that it could be done however they chose. Plus I thought I needed serious help to get over the anxiety this causes me. Well...they "chose" to play the way we've been playing for 8 years and she STILL fussed about it even without me playing to anyone, and everyone, who would listen.

Sooooo...Saturday night I thought about NOT playing again. I mean this is ridiculous, right? I'm an educated adult...and a CHRISTIAN woman on top of that! I really should be able to let this all go and turn the other cheek. After all, it's ONLY A GAME! Still, I found myself getting worked up over it early in the week last week. My friends who know the annual saga start to tease me. And one guilted me into bringing a gift and playing.

My boss (who LOVES to throw gas onto fires) started asking rather loudly "Did you and M work out the rules of the gift exchange tonight?" I told him to stop, but it didn't help. The social coordinator asked me to verify the rules and I told her I simply could NOT do it. She'd have to go ask someone else.

Someone else gave the rules the SAME as we've been doing for 8 years and it wasn't long into the whole "rule speech" that she started: "We never USED to play that way! Susan N. came and changed the whole thing!" The "rule man"...looked at her and said, "M, look me in the eye...it's a new day! We USED to use Chalkboards too...but we don't anymore. It's time to move on." I wanted to crawl under the tree! I needed the rule man's admonishment as much as she did (and perhaps more).

He's right, you know. We DO let the "little things" cause us so much stress. I don't know WHY I get so worked up over this. Certainly there are much bigger issues about which I could fixate. So...while he was speaking to HER...I think I got the message loud and clear...

I'm guilty. This is a "little thing". It shouldn't matter. And...

"It's time to move on!" Honestly, though, I've played the scene over in my mind several times since Saturday and I already told myself I'm NOT playing next year!

OK, I know--I know----back to the couch...