From a Commoner...

I watched this wedding 30 years ago:  

All. Day. Long!  I was sick with mono waiting for my senior year of high school to start.  I had been whisked away to Georgia to recoup at my Grandparent's house.  I don't know why, but the most significant thing I remember from that day is that I was also learning to cross stitch while watching.  Weird, huh?  


I barely even knew that Prince William was dating anyone let alone was engaged!  In fact, I didn't realize it until this week.  I know.  I know.  For some of you, that's a travesty.  


Shoot, until earlier today I had never even TASTED a SCONE and I STILL don't like hot tea!  Still, I watched bits of the Royal Wedding this morning while getting ready for work.  In fact, I turned it on just in time to hear the Bishop of London stand up and say:

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to 
be, their deepest and truest selves."


I LOVE THAT!  I more than love that.  Just St. Catherine's quote alone is quite powerful.  Apply it to marriage and relationships, and WOW! The Bishop continued later in his sermon:   

A spiritual life grows as love finds its center beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

And if that wasn't enough wisdom, he summed up the state of human spirituality like this:  

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

And then he said....

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

I have to be honest, after hearing these wise words, I looked to see what her dress was like...and I turned it off.  I was fulfilled by the words of wisdom spoken by this man.  

And all day long I've been thinking to myself:  

Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”  St Catherine of Siena 

God didn't mean for me to be royalty.  He didn't mean for me to be well-known.  On TV.  Or in the spotlight.  Nope.  He has given me a perfect place to be.  And He has set me in THIS place, at THIS time, with THIS family, and THESE friends, for a very real purpose.  I don't always know what my purpose is...but I know that I'm right where I belong.  And that's all I need.


May we all be just exactly who God meant for us to be!  It CAN make a BIG difference!  I'd like to thank the happy couple for giving me a peek that left me thinking deeply about my own life today...common though it be!  

Today I'm thankful for:  My knees.  I know that sounds weird...but I've got to tell you that I was totally afraid to start the running thing because I absolutely thought my knees wouldn't handle it.  I bought good shoes and they have been FINE.  I am thankful for them and that they let me MOVE.  :-) 

On the "Family Front":   Had a LOVELY visit with DS 2 this past weekend.  I loved having him home for the Easter holiday.  Just have to say that my family totally ROCKED on Saturday when we had our church's annual Spring Block Party.  They came out and helped and made it happen in so many ways.  I love that!   

My Educational Journey:  This is the last week of my second class.  The third one starts on Monday.  I keep learning and know that I've grown already in just 16 short weeks.  

My Running Notes: Thought I was on week 4, but I wasn't it.  I was on week 3, but NOW I'm REALLY on week 4!  This was a big jump for me because it means that you run 3 minutes, walk 90 seconds, run 5 minutes, walk 2 and 1/2 and then repeat the whole thing.  I have to tell you I cannot remember the last time I ran five full minutes...in fact, it may have been elementary school!  And I'm NOT kidding!  DS 2 helped with the first run on Sunday and tonight I did the second one.  I have to say it's getting easier and in a strange way, I'm starting to LIKE it.  WEIRD!  

What I'm Reading:    Websites. Facebook.  Research articles.  It's the truth.  

On my Mind:   Can't believe it's the final weeks of school!  I'm trying to find things to do this summer...and have to get the calendar worked up so we can find time to travel.  I'm pumped because I met with our pastor this week about possibly coordinating a women's weekend this summer.  It should be a great event that leads women to seek out 1:1 relationships with each other.  I'm praying earnestly for it's organization and people to catch the vision.  

Inspirational Quote or Thought for Today:

My Dad and Stepmother shared this with me on Easter and I have to tell you, it moved me so much!  I love this hymn and absolutely think Carrie Underwood knocks it out of the park!

Today I'm thankful for:  This beautiful city in which we live!  I truly am blessed to have such amazing surroundings.  I forget to stop and enjoy it.  I mean really enjoy it!  Tonight I ran in a light breeze through our neighborhood and remembered just how great it is!

On the "Family Front":   Took LG to see her Grandmother today.  This is the person with whom she has spent most of her life.  She is the woman who raised her and loved her and taught her so much.  Of course, anyone who knows LG's stories can point fingers...but I can't.  I'm thankful that this woman cares for her family so much.  Tonight she brought me more pictures of LG when she was a toddler...I was thankful for the pictures, but found myself so sad that we missed this part of her life.  

My Educational Journey:  I'm telling you, this journey is kicking my rear!  It's requiring deep thinking (which I love) but it's also creating a lot of second-guessing--which is about to put me over the edge!  Fourteen months to go!  

My Running Notes: Started week four of the couch to 5K tonight.  It was a good run and while there's still plenty of huffing and puffing happening during the run....it's feeling more doable.  THANK GOD!  Today one of my friends kind of hinted that maybe I needed to not run...maybe do walking to help LG get a bit more active.  I know why she said it and I understand it.  I am not a runner.  Never have been.  BUT I am enjoying the challenge of it, and for now, plan to continue it for ME!    

What I'm Reading:    Research articles for our group paper this week!

On my Mind:   Praying earnestly for a specific situation.  When I really think about this thing for which I am praying, I realize it's been my prayer for over two years.  Two years!  And truly I am seeing growth and movement where I had hoped--maybe not as quick--but movement nonetheless.  Now to exercise patience and understanding in the process.  

Inspirational Quote or Thought for Today:

“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”  (Gandhi)

Just watched the movie Precious based on the novel "Push" by African American Poet Sapphire.  Let me warn those of you who cannot watch things that are raw and potentially offensive.  This movie may not be fore you.   BUT I am BLOWN away by it.  Do not watch it with young children and understand it's filled with language.

The movie is a story about a 350 pound black girl from Harlem who is viciously abused by her Mother and raped by her Father.  At 16 years old, she's still in middle school and illiterate.  

I know it would be totally wrong to assume that this is the plight of every poor black girl...in fact, in a moving review and interview by the New York Times, director and producer Lee Daniels talks about this very issue.  In many ways it does speak to stereotypes.

More important in my opinion, though, is that it speaks to the human condition.  There are MANY kids out there experiencing horrific home lives.  They are abused, neglected, mistreated and live lives filled with violence and hate.  And so many people just turn their heads.  It's time to break the cycle.

I suppose another reason I resonated with this film is the schooling portion of it.  I love it that someone is teaching Precious her ABC's at 16 years of age!  And she's learning in a meaningful non-threatening way.

If you choose to watch it, I'd love to hear your feedback.  Very rarely after I watch a film do I want to watch it again...this one is definitely a "watch it again" movie for me! 

Today I'm thankful for:  An amazing group of teachers who work so hard every single day.  These people are so committed to helping kids and I think they make a difference (some more than they know)!  It's the end of testing for most of them.  I know they are happy about that...but I also know that they do the prep work that makes it possible for our kids to show what they know.  

On the "Family Front":   Saw DS 2 today.  It was a nice visit--though short.  He's been accepted into an Exercise Science program that will allow him to finish school by next August (2012)--though it necessitates another move for him.  Still, so proud of my guys who continue to work on finding the next step in their journey and taking it with style!  

My Educational Journey:  Two more weeks of class!!  Well...of this class!  These things are back to back...so I'm also thinking about the fact that I'm now two or three months closer to the end of the entire fifteen month program.  I'm learning.  It's just a lot of new stuff and I'm still acclimating to the format of these courses.  

My Running Notes: Ran again last night.  Feeling good...despite a little tinge in my knee.  Praying that it continues to hold up as I add time!   

What I'm Reading:    Um FCAT manuals and tests this week...that's all! 

On my Mind:   I'm so tired.  I know it's because I sleep eat and breathe this test when it's the window.  I want to make sure everything is just so.  I let it take a toll on me and I need to learn to let it go a bit more.  And in the "let it go" department...here's a good quote:  

Inspirational Quote or Thought for Today:

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

Today I'm thankful for: My amazing family and friends!  My special friends, Kelly, Sandy and Debra helped us pull off an adoption day party that was perfect in so many ways.  Simple but fun!

On the "Family Front": Speaking of being thankful...my guys ROCKED in welcoming (officially) their little sister to the fold.  Since DS 1 is living here, it's been fun to see them interact.  DS 2 made two trips this week for the festivities!  DS 3 helped LG put together the music playlist for her party...a very fun mix of tunes!  And DS 4 helped immensely on the entertainment front...with our giant Wii set up at the party!

My Educational Journey: So thankful that week five is done!  Three more weeks of this class and it's history!  I am enjoying it, but boy is it tough to juggle it all!

My Running Notes: Speaking of juggling.  Ran twice last week.  It's my goal to get back into THAT swing this week.  It is progress...just slower than I wanted.  Carving out time is absolutely a challenge.  I just don't have much to give.  Or, like after the party when I COULD have run, I was EXHAUSTED and my feet hurt.  Excuses, I know.  Still very real for me.

What I'm Reading: Nothing except school books right now.  UGH!

On my Mind: I am absolutely a control freak.  I know it.  Yesterday for LG's party, I found myself stressing (my family says it's my MO) in the prep portion.  I was stressing over some of the guests.  I was stressing about the tables being just so.  I was stressing over the decor.  Yet it all came out fine.  Although I know things always work out...there are those moments of tension just before that happen for me.  Here's my question:  If we didn't preplan...and if someone wasn't trying to think of all the little things...would it all still be fine?  Or is that a chicken and egg consideration?  Either way, I know I need to calm down and know that all will be fine when we do these things!

Speaking of that...look how Sandy's daughter's wedding decor lit up the place:

Inspirational Quote or Thought for Today:

Love this quote I saw on LG's teacher's Facebook tonight:  Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath." (Caine) 


Hmm...maybe I can apply that to my "On my Mind" stuff!  And regardless how stirred up I get, I'm thankful that SHE'S OURS!  

Make it STOP!

Today I find myself at an intersection that I hit rather regularly...I'm FLAT out BUSY!  It's state-wide assessment time and I prep those for our school.  I don't mind it so much, but this season it's overlapped several other deadlines and it's made it more stressful than normal.

I'm taking an online class that is really challenging me.  I love the learning and am acquiring new knowledge, but it's a thousand times more different than it was when I went back in the mid 90's!  First of all there's the online piece.  But more than that is the lovely formatting and citation guides that you have to follow now.  I'm ok with having a format, but my learning curve is STRAIGHT UP in this area.  When I write, it takes me about double the time just to get the commas and spaces in my citations!  Well, it's more than commas and spaces, but you get the picture!

Also I have another paper due on Saturday by 11:30 that I have only barely started.

On top of that, our adoption took time this week and we're planning a big adoption party for Sunday!  I'm so blessed because I have such great friends to help out...but still it's looming in my mind somewhere.

We are also trying to get some stuff taken care of with my Mom while my brother is in town...which may mean I have to squeeze a trip in to Tampa in the next few days.

I keep trying to whittle the list, but it's not working right now:

FCAT Prep MUST happen.  The testing begins on Monday and I have a TON undone still.
Sunday is the party.  I'm blessed to have friends handling the food end for me...but am trying to pull together some last minute extras for it.
Paper due on Saturday by 11:30pm.  AGH!
In the near distant future is our church's Spring Block Party (which I coordinate)

I'm tired.  I am trying to do things one at a time...but with all the deadlines upon me, it's hard.  Tonight I'm leaning on scripture from Isaiah 43:

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine.
 ² When you go through deep waters,
      I will be with you.
   When you go through rivers of difficulty,
      you will not drown.
   When you walk through the fire of oppression,
      you will not be burned up;
      the flames will not consume you.
 ³ For I am the Lord, your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

Today we became a Forever Family.  It was an amazing day filled with family and friends who love LG and have been so vital in helping her transition to our home.

Check out the sign that's part of our art campaign by the bay...


 I can say nothing more tonight except that I agree "Love is thicker than blood...Adoption makes us a family..."

It feels so right!

When Stuff Catches You Off Guard

Our small groups for church started up again last night.  We meet twice monthly to further discuss the Sunday sermon topic and dig a little deeper.  Our group has 14 people in it, many of whom have been with DH and me since the church started small groups.  Still, each time they start again, there are people who step out, move on, and take breaks.  At those times, we get new people in our groups.  This rotation we have a new couple. 

So yesterday, DH and I were making our normal "It's-small-group-night-let's-make-sure-everything's-OK-in-the-parts-of-the-house-they'll-see" rounds.  It's never perfect, but it's presentable.  I love that my small group extends me grace for the spot on the floor or a dust bunny or two.  Still, like most of you probably do, we were cleaning. 

I stopped at T-1hour to check my phone and there was a voice mail from G, the husband of the "new couple".  The voice mail went like this:  "OK Susan we know what you're doing.  You're running around the house throwing things in closets and stuffing things in drawers so that when company comes over, it'll be a spotless house..."  It stopped me DEAD. IN. MY TRACKS.--because that is EXACTLY what I was doing!  And then I thought, either these folks are quite 'real' and understand a thing or two off kilter and out of place...or they are neat knicks who won't want to come back!

We had a good laugh when they arrived and I am pretty sure we are going to enjoy the addition to our group!  I haven't stopped thinking about it since.  Isn't that what we all do in our lives?  We try to shove stuff in closets and in drawers so it looks good to those on the outside looking in?  What would happen if we just let people see us for who we are...dust bunnies and all?  Even though I want my house to look decent for company...I love the fact that we all know there are flawed moments when stuff is just messed up!

 Sometimes it's not the conversation of our small group that teaches me the most.  Nope.  Last night, it started with a voice mail! 

Today I'm thankful for:  Time with LG!  We went to buy a dress for "Adoption Day" today.  It was fun shopping with her and picking out something that was 'just right'!  She cracked me up because initially she said, "I just thought I'd wear my school uniform."  Uh NO!  We went to lunch then shopped till we dropped...well. sort of!!

On the "Family Front":   Looking forward to seeing my brother, Dan, this week. He'll be down from Kentucky.  It also will be great fun having Grandparents at the Adoption on Tuesday.  Looking forward to welcoming a child into our family in a new and different way.   

My Educational Journey:  Good grief!!  Found out we have to 're-do' our group paper...well, we got an 87% on it, but have to rework it.  Soooo we'll muddle through together.  In the meantime, turned in another today and was even more unsure about it after receiving the 87 on the previous one.  I AM learning so much and even relearning what it can feel like to be a student is a good thing.  

My Running Notes: THIS is why I even started this post!  I RAN TONIGHT!  It's been about a week since I last ran.  I thought I was going to have to start over at week 2, but instead I decided to try a modified week2 mixed with week 3.  AND I DID IT!  I ran 3 minutes, walked 90 seconds...ran 2 minutes, walked 90 seconds...until I hit my 20 minutes.  Thankful for stamina to do that much tonight.  

What I'm Reading:    I picked up a couple of new teacher books yesterday at our workshop.  I'm excited to dig in.  In the meantime, I'm still plugging through, "The Gift of an Ordinary Day."  Sometimes I connect so much with this writer that it makes me want to CRY!!  Can't wait to review it here.  

On my Mind:   I have heard some school stories from family,  friends and colleagues lately that break my heart!  I wish 'mean teachers' could just be rounded up and given something more productive to do with their time.  It makes me sad for the kiddos that sit in their rooms every day.  Honestly, I know there are times when I'm cranky in class...but Lord, I hope I'm never downright MEAN!  And that's all I'll say about that.  

Inspirational Quote or Thought for Today:

'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10