Thursday Thirteen

"Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer/Those days of soda and
pretzels and beer/Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer/Youll wish
that summer could always be here!"

It's Summer and we're going to be BUSY again! Today's TT is about all the things we'll be doing...or have done already....(and in no particular order)

1. DS 3 got a kitten yesterday...so we'll be welcoming a new pet into our family. I forgot just how much little animals are like little babies. DS 3 figured it out last night when he woke up in the middle of the night for playtime! It took DS 3 a while, but here is the best photo he got in today's "Kitten Photoshoot".

2. SWIM...SWIM...SWIM! We are so lucky because our YMCA has a Waterpark. I took DS 4 the other day and read half a book while he played in the water.

3. DSs 1 - 3 and DH are going to get SCUBA certified and we will be going to the Keys for their checkout dives (with my cousin Lynn and her family).

4. Scalloping...It will soon be time to head back to Homosassa for our annual scalloping outing. Last year didn't produce many (if any) scallops. Hopefully this year will be different. Even if the scallops are scarce, it's a great week to spend out on the boat with family.

5. Driving to Ohio. I'm going to take DSs 3 and 4 to Ohio after we go to the Keys. It will be fun to Caravan back with my Cousin and her family. (For all my blogging friends who live on the I-75 corridor between Florida and Ohio...perhaps we can meet somewhere on either end of the trip.)

6. Working...I still have books to write and teacher's guides to finish. I work about ten days at my school interviewing, making classes for next year, etc. So the entire Summer will not be lazy.

7. Reading...I have plenty of books waiting to be read. I'm trying to balance fiction with nonfiction. Right now I'm reading nonfiction education books and then I'm headed into Wicked by Gregory Maguire and a couple of Nicholas Sparks books.

8. Workshops...I have two workshops to do in August. This is actually a bit quieter than normal for me. I'm glad.

9. Celebrate our 20th Anniversary. I'm not sure what we'll do...but DH and I are celebrating 20 years together. I'll be glad to just get away together.

10. Movie-watching...I have several Summer box office hits I'd like to see. I started by taking DSs 3 and 4 to see Shrek the Third the other day. I have some I'd also like to rent and watch here at home.

11. Visiting family and friends...I have some serious catching up that needs to be done in this area. It's my intention to do so.

12. Scrapbooking...I have so much to do. I don't make time like I used to for this...Someday I hope to have a room dedicated to it so that I can leave it out and scrap when I can...but for now, I need to make some intentional time to work on my books.

13. Writing weekend...My friend Sandy and I are going to be writing a new professional book for teachers. We have to plan time to get away to write...it's the best way to do it and get it done with minimal distractions. I also have one that I am reviewing and adding to with Suzi...so a little intentional writing time is in order.

YES...

It's CHICAGO!

Wordless Wednesday--A Fly Over

This is my favorite big city that I've visited as we flew by it on our way to Toronto.

Do you know which city it is?

And speaking of windows...

Have you ever felt that you couldn't see through one? Sometimes they get film on them and it's hard to see. Other times they are filled with frosted or stained glass and you can't see what's on the other side. They're pretty, and they DO let the light pass through...just not crisp and clear like other windows.

I visited Susan at Penless Writer and was moved by this post. She had read another blogger's post called, A Multi-faceted Beauty. The post moved Susan and it moved me. He talked about the Body of Christ and our unique place in it. He posed the question: "What one word most defines you in the Body of Christ?".

The original blogger noted that "truth" described him and "worship", his wife. Susan says she knew immediately that "the Word" defined her, and "belief" described her husband. Susan challenged her readers to share what their "word" is.

I wanted to respond, truly I did, I just couldn't. You see, I'm a bit like the window that doesn't have clear glass in it. I know that the light DOES pass through me...and I know that I have a purpose to be a "window" to demonstrate Christ's love to others...it's just a bit filmy right now. It's not that it's "unclean"...it's simply not clear.

My Christian walk took a BIG right turn at the beginning of this year. For 20 years I have been a Pastor's Wife. I "knew" my place in the body of Christ. I have been a Sunday School teacher, Bible Study leader, Women's Ministry participant, Children's Church Coordinator, and even the Choir Director. When DH left the full-time pastorate for coaching and consulting in January, we ended up in a new church. For the first time in a really long time, we are just like everyone else who sits in the seats on Sunday. And for the first time, I am finding that I need to really examine what it is that GOD wants me to do and where He wants me to go.

And, although, Susan has asked me twice now to chew on that post and come up with a word, I simply can't...YET! I revisited my New Year's post that talks about praying for a word for the new year (thank you, Heather and Amy)and I was reminded that this year's word(s) for me were MOLD ME. How quickly we forget!?!?

As I sat around and sulked about not being able to "immediately put my finger on a word" in response to Susan's post...one of my favorite worship songs kept arising in my heart:

When the music fades, And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You It's all about You Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of
worship
And it's all about You All
about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus Its all about you Jesus!

You see, I think that God's doing something new with me. He is showing me that I have to change my heart and my mind when I think about my service to Him. It's new for me. He's taking my window and doing what He needs to do with it. And I can't wait to see the result!

Why the Window??

I posted this iphoto n my Toronto slide show and Melli asked me "WHY?" My only caption was "I love this window". I thought I'd try to explain.

I've always been drawn to unique windows. I love a bay window and windows with character. Now, when I found this one (which I think has character) I was on a bus tour of Toronto with a publishing company. I was sitting on the right side of the bus and we pulled up to look at a mural that shows the history of Toronto. The mural was on the building across the street.

Oddly enough, you can see a bit of the mural's reflection in this window (especially if you enlarge the photo). It was on the left side of the bus and I couldn't see it too well. I was drawn, though, to the history that seemed to be reflecting in this window.

I love the way the brick is laid in this building. And I love the way the windows seem to be eyes just peering at you from a historical place. I'm certain that many people and events have been by and happened in front of these windows. In fact, I wonder if the reflection of history shows things that these windows were part of...at least figuratively.

You have to remember that I live in coastal Florida. Most of our historical brick buildings (IF they ever existed at all) have been replaced by pastel paint on stucco. Certainly to some it's beautiful, but for me, it doesn't do much.

This type of brick and glass peering at me, though. It screams, "Let me tell you who's walked by me." And, "If only you could see the things that I've seen..." If only the walls (or windows) could talk, right? So, there you have it, the "why of the window".

Dooney and Bourke Giveaway

The girls at Pinks and Blues are having a Dooney and Bourke bag giveaway….Go see them for the details! I love this bag and thought it'd be fun to enter the contest. Let me know if you enter too!

Sunday Seven

It's been a while since I have done a Sunday Seven, yet I have so much for which to be thankful! This is a weekly meme for giving thanks or for noting important events in our lives.

1. This week was my DS 1's 19th birthday. I am so proud of him and the young man he has become! God has blessed him with so much talent and I'm thankful for him.

2. My Mom's birthday is tomorrow. I am taking her out today for some Mother/Daughter time. I'm glad she's so close to us so that I can get up there. But I am also sorry I don't get up there more. I'm looking forward to our time together.

3. School ended this week. I was SWAMPED when I came back from Toronto because I organize our school's bookroom of over 32,000 books (think mini-library). Teachers have been returning things all week while I was in Toronto. When I came back, the piles were literally up to my waist and everywhere. DS 2 and his friends came in on their first day off of school and SAVED the day! With their help, everything was checked in and shelved by just after noon.

4. DS 3 is going to be washing planes this Summer. He went down to the airport the other day to do the first one. I think he liked it. He's supposed to do up to four planes a week. They are going to pay him, so it's not a bad "gig" for a 12 (almost 13) year old. I'm thankful he's learning to live out his passions.

5. DH gave me the sweetest card yesterday. He and I have been a bit like ships passing in the night over the past two or three weeks. Yet, he stops to buy me flowers and a card. I love it when he does this. I forget to tell him just how much he means to me sometimes. I am looking forward to spending some time with just he and I this Summer. I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating: I LOVE THAT MAN!

6. I'm going to take care of my Tampa nieces (and nephew?) next weekend. We usually have a great time when they come down. I'm looking forward to it. I don't see them often enough either. They are but an hour away, but I think the last time I saw the girls was the end of April.

7. Speaking of people we don't see often enough, I'm hoping to arrange an Orlando visit with my SIL to see our "Orlando Family" very soon. I feel like I am finally able to breathe a bit and I know we need to get up there to visit them...after all, Orlando IS much closer than Arizona! I am thankful for the grace they extend in this area as well. (By the way, my nephew's birthday is this weekend as well..Happy Birthday, J!)

Two Great Reads...

I've read two fantastic books in the last two weeks:

First, there was the wonderful book,Ransomed Dreams written by author, Amy Wallace. This book made it's way to my house via my SIL Heather. Heather is a friend of Amy's (a Christian author) and had the pleasure of attending her book release and signing party in Georgia. She was so kind to have Amy sign a copy for me and surprised me with the book in the mail.

I read it on my way to, and in, Toronto. In fact, I could hardly put it down! This book reads like a quality episode of CSI or Law and Order. It kept me turning pages and wondering just how it was all going to resolve. Amy does an excellent job weaving faith into her writing without it being overpowering and/or shoved down the reader's throat. I found the characters REAL and could identify with them on more than one occasion.

I have passed the book along to my friend, Suzi. I also have planned to buy a few more copies to send to some of my other avid reader friends. This one would be a great "Summer Read" if you enjoy a good mystery mixed with stories of heart and passion.


The second book I read is Night by Elie Wiesel. Beyond, The Diary of Anne Frank, I have never read a book about the Holocaust. I HAVE been to the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC. I only took the cursory tour, however (I believe time was an issue). I have also visited a traveling "museum" of the Holocaust at one of the boys' schools. It was a grim reminder of the hatred that was aloud to exist during that period in history.

I found this book a challenge, though, because Elie talks about wrestling with his Jewish faith. And as I let his words and experiences seep into my heart and mind, I can only somewhat imagine how this horiffic experience would make you angry at God. It is also a challenge, because, as Wiesel notes in his 1986 Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech:

And that is why I swore to never be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivites become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must--at that moment--become the center of the universe.

Both of these books have "kicked off" my Summer Reading list on quite a "high". I have several more waiting in the wings that I can't wait to dig into...some personal, some professional, some christian growth/study, and others just fun take-me-away novels. I, for one, can't wait...

What will you be reading this Summer?

Finally....PHOTOS!

My computer has had issues since I came home...so my visits and online time has been limited at best.... I PROMISE I'm coming back!!!!!!

Update from Toron-TOE!

My toes are actually much better. They are sore for sure, but not nearly as black as they were on Monday. I've been resting them when I can...taking lots of Motrin...and swallowing my pride as I've made one tan pair of CROCS (see below) "go with" every outfit.

Aside from my toe....

We've toured Toronto in the rain. A publisher took us on a bus tour the other night and out for a lovely Italian dinner. We've learned that we are staying on the longest street in the world, Yonge Street (1200 miles long)! Isn't that amazing?

We've been up in the CN Tower...which is amazing. I can't wait to post my pictures.

Tonight we'll go to the theater. Toronto is one of the largest "theater" areas just beyond NYC.

We've been hot and cold. We've ridden in taxis, subways, and cable cars. The transportation system is amazing.

On top of all the things I've seen, I've also learned all the things you DO use that big toe for....

So...it's been a great trip. We'll be back home tomorrow and I PROMISE to catch up with all of your great blogs!!

IF you have broken toes...

Get THESE:

Some people don't think they are "cute"...and others think they are downright "UGLY"...BUT

they are SUPER DUPER comfortable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hoppin' along, and doing OK. My session is over. Tomorrow is booksigning for us and a "tour of Toronto" (I'm just hoping it's NOT a WALKING tour!)

Hugs to all of you for your prayers and advice! I'll update you when I have a bit more time.

If You Go to Toronto....

Watch out for the McSteps!!

This morning, we went to McDonalds to grab breakfast. After that, we headed out the door on our way to the subway to go to our first session. Little did I know that there would be a STEP down onto the street.

As if in slow motion, I fell right off the step! I felt my toes bend backwards in a very strange way.

Suffice it to say that I am fairly certain that two of my toes on my right foot are broken. They are BIG and BRUISED and SORE!

Sessions were good. New shoes are in my future...because I have no tennis shoes with me. The Toronto transportation system is awesome...they've saved my aching foot on more than one occasion...

There you have it...a summary of my first day away.

Mother's Day

Last year, I ran a post to tell just how horrible I am at sending cards and gift buying. It's just not a detail that my frenetic life handles very well. Unfortunately, Mother's Day is no different. We normally go out to dinner with my Mother or she and I have gone shopping in the past. It's a nice way to spend a day.

Today, I'm flying to Toronto. I spent the night at my Mom's last night (her house is closer to the airport). It was nice spending a LITTLE time with her.

I told you that I already got my Mother's Day presents. The Boys brought me a beautiful engraved frame. I can't wait to take a picture and put in it.

Here's my "repeat" Mother's Day post from last year. It may be a repeat, but my feelings are no less now than they were then. In fact, I may feel even more endeared to each of these special Mom's in my life:

I am the absolute WORST at remembering these days! They sneak up and surprise me. I don't like that about myself. I know that all the women in my life who I should send a card and a gift know this about me. Thankfully, they dish out grace when it comes to me regularly! I thought I would pay tribute to each one today in my blog:

To My Mother: You have always been there for me. I don't think you'll ever know exactly how much that means to me. I know there have been some hard times, but I also know that you are a rock who clings to THE ROCK! Your life and the testimony that it presents is the reason that I am able to confidently claim my faith today. You have instilled in me the values with which I am now raising my own children. They (the kids) remind me regularly (when parenting is hard) just what an awesome job you did (and do). Your support and always "being there" for us is such a gift. I can say without a doubt that this is not the "normal" parenting that took place among my friends as a child and a teen and even as an adult. Actually, it amazes me when I really think about it. Thank you for the many things you do for us each day. Of course, I miss being closer to you...but am thankful that we are still not far apart! Thanks, Mom! I love you!!

To My Step-Mother: It's hard to believe how much time has passed since you walked into our lives. I know that there have been times when it must have been hard to be "another mother figure" in our lives. But you have done a beautiful job of it. I appreciate the many ways that you go out of your way to make sure that family and extended family have time together. I also appreciate that you continue to call us and invite us up, even when we can't come! You have always been there and helped us know that we are an important part of your life as well. Thank YOU for the many ways that you care and love us. We (and ESPECIALLY I) want to let you know that we love and appreciate you.

To My Mother-in-Law: Thank you for your love and generosity over the past 20 years! I listen to other people tell about their mother-in-law relationships in negative ways...and I am SO THANKFUL that I can say with confidence, "Not MINE!" Your giving and loving spirit is such a picture of the love of Jesus. It doesn't go unnoticed OR unappreciated. I'll admit that I wondered how it would be when we all lived together in the same town. Now, I almost can't imagine NOT living in the same town! And "Grandma's Kitchen" has elevated you to a whole new status with my kids (and their friends). You are truly a blessing to all of us! Thank you for raising your son to be a wonderful and Godly husband! May God continue to bless you abundantly! We love you!

To My Grandmother: You are such a gift to us! I love the fact that even though you have moved further away, we can still communicate on computer. I love to look back on all the things we have done together. I appreciate all the memories that you have given to me (and our family). I know that family is so important to you and I think I have carried some of that into my own family. It is a blessing to have a Grandparent who wants to know and be a such a part of her grandchildrens and great grandchildrens (and even the great great grandchildrens) lives! I love you, Grandma!!

Happy Mother's Day to each of you....YOU ARE LOVED!!!

Mother's Day---DS 4 Style

I am leaving early on Mother's Day to fly to Toronto. DS 4 made a gift at school that he couldn't wait to give me. Last night was the "big reveal". I hope to have a photo of the card today. It's so sweet. But what was inside was even sweeter.

The teacher gave them 9 questions to fill out about Mom. Here are my DS 4's answers to the questions (with HIS second grade spelling):

1. What does your Mom look like? White and lots of frekels.

2. What is your Mom's favorite food and drink? Chiken and dite coke to drink.

3. If you could take your Mom out to dinner for Mother's Day, where would you take her? Red lobster.

4. What are your favorite things to do with your Mom? Play game and whahch t.v.

5. What's funny or silly about your Mom? Dance with my brother.

6. What is your Mom's favorite TV show? survivor, Amarcan idol.

7. If you could give your Mom any gift in the world, what would you give her? some pearls

8. Where would you take your Mom on vacation? A cruse.

9. What things do you and your Mom have in common? We are both white, we are both Chrishtens.

Can you tell that our school is very diverse? And what Mother wouldn't love to wear some sweet pearls on a "cruse"??

His answers sure gave me a smile! Happy Mother's Day Weekend to all the Mother's out there. I pray that you find many reasons to smile!

The Great Sock Mystery

OK, several of you asked for it, so here is the Sock Story. I think I have one of those washers (or is the dryer?) that eats socks. I buy the kids socks. Really, I do. I buy myself socks. Yet, every so often we'll have a day like my DS 4 had the other day. It's as if suddenly all of his socks have disappeared.

I'll confess, the first morning he told me he didn't have any. I did not go in his room to see if they had migrated to the wrong drawer. In our morning frenzy, I had him put on "yesterday's pair"...it was then that I noticed even THIS pair was mismatched and a tad dirty! (He IS, after all, my FOURTH boy--and you do things with fourth children that you would have never done with the first ones.)

Yesterday was the "second day" of missing socks. Knowing that the first pair was ready to be able to walk on its own...and that it was mismatched anyway, I put on my "good Mommy" hat and did go in and look for a pair. Admittedly, when I went to his room, I went with the "If-I-go-in-there-and-find-them-you're-in-BIG-TROUBLE-BUSTER-!" attitude. (I learned this from MY Mother!) Alas, I searched the drawers. I found two of MY socks. Two of DH's socks. And several singles of the older boys' socks. But, there WERE NO 8-year-old socks!

I went to DS 2's room, as his sock drawer has been a catch-all for the socks that appear to be matchless in the past. NOTHING.

I went to DS 3's room. NOTHING. DS 1's room...well....I couldn't GO THERE! I assume, though, that if he had socks that were too little, he'd be throwing them outside his door.

So, I threw my hands in the air and announced to DH, "HE HAS no socks! I don't know where they are!" DS 4 and I headed out for Walmart bright and early yesterday morning (thank goodness for 24 hours) and remedied the missing sock situation. I bought THREE PACKS for him.

Where do they go? It's a complete mystery to me. One of my coworkers told me yesterday that she thinks boys get their socks so dirty that they simply disintegrate! I'm beginning to think that COULD be true.

So, how long until you think I'm back at Walmart replacing more missing socks????

Thursday Thirteen *Updated With Jungle Photos*

Thirteen Things about SUSAN'S WEEK 1. I had conflict with a coworker that I had to confront---YUCK! 2. I had to convince "my leaf" that he IS important and that he will be the BEST leaf in the jungle! (The photo on the left shows my Principal (the bear) with several of the kids. You can see the magnitude of this production. DS 4 is on the top riser in the photo below right standing center just left of the sun) 3. I agreed to start the May Day Challenge and I really haven't done anything to SHOW that I started it so far--we're only two days in and I know there's still time. 4. I received the cutest bag from Stacy's Purse Party. It was so fun!! And I love the bag I got. 5. The painting started on my house. It will be SO NICE to be freshened up both inside and out!! 6. DS 4 lost all of his socks---just don't ask---so I had to rush to WalMart this morning on the way to work to assure that he'd have socks to wear. 7. I'm trying to get ready to go to Toronto next week. Has anyone been there? Should I exchange for Canadian money??? 8. I have a presentation while in Toronto that I am only semi-ready for!! (This is par for my course...so I know it'll be fine.) 9. I realized that I have several friends that I haven't talked to in a long time....they've fallen to the bottom of my huge list and I am ashamed of that. 10. I DID get to scrapbook Saturday. It was refreshing and such a great feeling! I need to do that more. 11. My computer at work is broken, so I can't check books in. There are hundreds of books just stacked in my office that have to wait. It's driving me CRAZY!! 12. We still don't know exactly what and when we are doing our Summer vacation. The boys want to learn to Scuba dive now. 13. I've missed being a regular blog visitor. I truly find it's like a dose of "feel good" to visit all my blogging friends before the day ends. It challenges me. It makes me laugh. It makes me cry (sometimes). But it's good. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

I'm in...even if it WAS a day late and after fries...

OK I promised I would "jump into" this challenge when I first saw it start floating around the blogosphere last week. I can't say I "jumped" because I've been downright busy and TIRED. But I have been more aware these past few days of my eating habits. Sooooooo....although I just finished fries with my grilled chicken (at least it wasn't the burger), I am going to join the cause. Here are the things we are supposed to post:

1. How much weight do you want to lose? Ideally I'd like to go back down 30 pounds. I lost this several years ago at Weight Watchers and did really well. Like a bad dream, most of it's back.

2. What is your "weight history"? Well, I've struggled. But I am not a yo-yo dieter by any stretch of the imagination. I think about it. I do it for a day or so, then I'm back to where I started. WW was the ONLY program that worked for me.

3. What are your other goals related to this program? I need to drink more water and get to the gym more regularly. It simply has been crowded out of my life right now. I will start regularly when school is out in two weeks. As for the water, I started this past weekend (I'm already feeling better). I also will be rejoining WW this summer.

So, there you have it...the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

DS 4 is participating in our school's annual play. This year, they are doing The Jungle Book. He was cast as a Monkey. By way of background, let me say that there are over 120 kids in this play. There are the traditional cast of characters: Mogli, Baloo, SheerKahn, etc. and then they have added Rocks, Trees, Bushes, and Leaves. The set is beautiful, but full.

On Friday, DS 4 came home and told me he was not a monkey anymore. He said they asked him if he could stand up on the risers and get everyone else around him to sing. They told him they "needed his energy" up there. As the mother, I knew there was another part of the story that he wasn't told.

Now, I don't want to be a "stage mom". I know that putting these productions together is tough at best. Add in that many children, and it is even more difficult. But, I asked the arts teachers so I could help him understand.

It turns out that he wasn't remembering the "monkey dance"....and there were "too many monkeys" anyway. He seemed to freeze (according to the dance teacher).

I went to watch dress rehearsal yesterday and my heart broke. He doesn't have a costume now. Only the t-shirt that the other kids are wearing. He is up on the top riser with some girl crowding him out. He did dance up there. He was doing each and every step that the Monkeys did while he was up there. In fact, there were other monkeys who missed steps and cues, but it was really not a big deal.

So, this morning he says, "I don't want to do that. I want to be a Monkey." I tried to explain that this is what they needed him to do. I told him that he did a wonderful job yesterday. I mean, if you have to be a leaf, be the best leaf you can be, right??

In the meantime, my "Mommy heart" is breaking. They are JUST kids. It's hard not to want to fuss and whine until they reinstate him as a Monkey. But it wouldn't be right, either. It's their play and they have to do what they think is best for all.

The play is this week, Thursday and Friday. It will be a memory very soon (thank goodness). Please say a prayer for my "little leaf". Pray that he is the best leaf that he can be and that this does not leave a sour taste in his mouth.

I'll post pictures when I can. After all, I may be heartbroken, but I am PROUD of him!!

More Reflections

I've just returned from a weekly outreach program that is run in our city. Each week, the poor and homeless can come to this place for hot food and worship. Once a month, another ministry comes in and hands out clothes and toiletries.

Our church went today to help with the latter. This was my first time there. DH and my older two boys went several years ago fairly regularly to help lead worship and serve food.

Several people read my blog yesterday and commented that they might have been in the "questioning crowd" wondering WHY and HOW such a thing could happen if there were responsible adults involved. And I am really no different than you..except experience tells me it's often not what it appears on the surface.

Several years ago, I taught in my first inner city school. It was there that I realized that I really did have hidden prejudice and a sort of "us and them" mentality. I didn't realize it at first, but layer by layer throughout that year, my perceptions began to surface. I learned so much about myself there. I cleaned my "thought house" as I realized that we really are not all that different. I actually thought that *I* might be able to "save" some of these children and their families. I was wrong.

Then, many years later, I again worked in the inner city and realized it wasn't up to me to have a "savior" mentality. It's not about "saving" anyone from the life they live. I cannot expect people to live and act the way I do or even in the way that I deem "right". It's not about making people more like me...it's about showing them how to be successful in their world...and ensuring they have the resources to do so.

Now, here I am 16 years from my first inner city teaching job and 8 years from the second one knowing that the best thing we can do to "close the gap" between cultures is to develop relationships. And part of developing relationships is meeting needs.

Today was another gentle reminder that every human being needs to be treated with dignity and respect. And if there is any remnant of preconceived notions or beliefs, then we must ask that they be confronted and whittled down to nothing.

While reading Same Kind of Different as Me I was struck by Denver Moore's take on this situation (Denver is shown in the photo on the left when he was at our book store recently--that's my back in the photo). He likened what "white people" do to "catch and release" fishing. He asked Ron Hall about it. He didn't understand WHY anyone would "catch and release" when fishing because the reason he,and people like him, fished was to meet a need. Yet he knew that white men seemed to catch and release.

He said they did the same thing in the shelter. They came in and served until it felt good then left never to be seen again. He said if you really want to make a difference, then you needed to "fish for keeps". Our Pastor said today we need to spend time building relationships---not just for our next "evangelistic mission"---but because it's what we are called to do.

This week has been a gentle reminder that my pole's going "in the water" and I'm looking for "keepers". I'll be back downtown next month. I think that's the way God wants it.

9-1-1 We Need Help Understanding Our Differences!

Last night was the carnival at my school. It's held out on our PE field and is steady flow of people throughout the night. For those of you who read my blog, you know that my school is culturally diverse. I love that. It is not reflective of our entire city, but it IS my picture of how it "should" be in some ways. It's the kind of place where people of different ethnicity and beliefs and socio-economic levels can exist together and respect one another.

So, my friend D and I were working the raffle table. She had a microphone and was kind of emceeing the whole event from our vantage point. The night was great fun. The kids enjoyed playing all the games, riding the rides, and bouncing in the bounce houses. Occasionally, throughout the event, people would come over and ask us to call for a missing person. And throughout the night, we watched reunions happen in front of us.

At 8:30 things changed.

A fifth grader (who has been retained twice and is 12) came over and asked, "Can you call for Quayviana and Donquavion to come to the basketball court?" {Note: I've changed the names, but left them no less creative than the actual names are.} So, we called. About 10 minutes later, the girl returned and said, "We still haven't found them, can you call again?" We did. Nothing. It was then that we started to ask questions:

• How old are they? {five} ---Hearing this, a bit of panic set in. It was, after all, dark!
• When was the last time you saw them? {I went into the bathroom and came out and they were gone.}
• Was anyone else here with you that might have taken them home? {No, it was just us. My Auntie is coming to pick us up.}

As you might guess, every "PTA Mom" in the place went into panic mode. We started searching the very dark campus for the children, with no luck. D and I are in charge when there is no administrator. So she went into "Administrative Mode" and I went to find flashlights for people to search. Still, nothing.

Over the next few minutes; police were called; our principal and assistant principal were called; and I found Auntie in the car waiting for the kids. She had been drinking and was a bit incoherent.

The police showed up and asked some of the same questions we had. They called in reinforcements and a K-9 unit to start searching the campus. Grandma showed up. The cell phones were being used to make frantic calls to other Aunties, Uncles, Boyfriends, and Cousins. Still nothing. Auntie was crying. She looked so alone. I hugged her and she just held on for dear life.

As if a lightbulb turned on, Grandma asked the fifth grader if her brother's girlfriend had been here that night. The answer was yes. They figured out the phone number and called her.

One hour after our ordeal began, the girlfriend answered her cell phone and confirmed that she did, in fact, have the two children. I think that was my first real breath in the hour. As the PTA Moms reassembled with their own children in tow, I could hear the rumblings. The questions:

• How COULD they_____________?
• WHY wouldn't they____________?
• WHAT do you MEAN they don't know their own child's phone number?

The questions were followed by such judgment. I found myself a bit miffed as I tried to explain.

The culture of these children is one that really is uniquely interconnected. People are "related" to one another by birth or by marriage or even by the location of their living quarters. Young children are often left on their own to fend for themselves. It is not uncommon, though, to make an older sibling (who could be as young as 8 or 10) or cousin, the care-giver. And, generally, the older sibling or cousin rises to the occasion and takes on the maturity of a much older person. It is NOTHING for kids to get in the car with an Auntie, or a boyfriend of an Auntie or a cousin's Daddy's girlfriend. Sometimes their "connectedness" is their greatest (and only) resource.

These are also people who are often living in poverty. The reason phone numbers don't work is because the bill wasn't able to be paid. It's hard to understand if you've never been unable to pay your bills.

And though I tried to explain a bit, I watched these blank stares from these well-to-do parents. And I realized that there is still a great chasm between us.

And though I was (and am) extremely glad for the happy ending, I found myself heartbroken and sad as I considered it all. I KNOW that I would have reacted different. I know that I would have been crying and a bit hysterical when the police got there. I know that I would have had phone numbers in my cell phone. But I will NOT and cannot stand in judgment of someone because their reaction and response is different than mine.

Today I find myself wondering just how, and when, and if, the gap will ever close. I hope so. I really hope so!

It's True...

Here's my truth from yesterday's dessert:

DH and I did have five kids under the age of five when we were foster parents. We had our DSs 1 and 2 and a sibling group of three. It was quite interesting.

I'm sorry I haven't been around to "read" all of your blogs...I promise to get around and catch up with you this weekend. Know that I miss reading and appreciate all of your sweet comments here.

Hugs!!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something you would not want to own.

I would not want to own a Ferrari or any other outrageously expensive car. I'd be a nervous wreck about it getting marred.

Soup
Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

My hair is THICK, blonde and shoulder length. It drives ME crazy. Everytime I go to a new hair salon they tell me that I have "great hair". I want to say, "Well then do something GREAT with it!" But that's another question for another day!

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

Of course the first thing that popped into my mind was 9-11-01....but I decided that might be a very popular answer. The second thing I thought was "the birth of my children". And certainly that's true, but I decided to go with:

I'll never forget Prince Charles and Diana's wedding. I was sick with Mono and resting at my Grandparents in Georgia. My Grandmother taught me to cross stitch. I cross stitched an entire piece the day they got married. It was an all day Media Event.

Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

I'd like to be Bill or Melinda Gates. I chose these two because I DREAM of being a philanthropist and being able to give away much to those in need.

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I found $500 one time. I once had five children under five. (I'll post which one is true later today.)

A simple drop of water...

If you've read my blog for any time at all, then you know that I don't cook. I really don't like to do it unless I really have time to plan. But I DO like to look at cookbooks. Go ahead and analyze that and let me know what you figure out.

I got a new Taste of Home cookbook recently and DS 4 enjoyed looking through it. For some reason, he was drawn to an Apple Dumpling recipe. He said, "We should make this together." I said, "OK, but not tonight." That was three nights ago. Last night, I asked him to decide if he wanted to make the dumplings or do something else. I forget what the "something else" was, but he chose that. I was, once again, off the dumpling hook.

Tonight he walked into the Family Room and said, "Aren't you going to make the dumplings for me?" Huh??? FOR you? I thought this was supposed to be "together time". BUT, I am also a Mom of four boys who knows that sometimes you CAN do things better (or at least quicker) alone. He told me he wanted me to make them so he could eat them. And I took him up on it.

As I started to mix the dough, I found myself praying: "Lord, please let this work!" I mean, how hard can it be to put shortening, flour, salt, and a little water together? The truth is, I KNOW how hard it can be--for me! I tried to bake Grandma's pie crust one year and failed. So I stirred and I prayed. This is kind of how it went:

2 cups of flour/1 tsp. salt/2/3 c. of shortening--"stir until crumbles form"--{Stir}{Stir}{Fold}{Fold}"Puhleaze!! Come on crumbles!" {Stir} {Stir} {Fold} {Smash}{Stir} "All I need is little crumbles! Please let it start to crumble." {Stir}{Smash}{Turn the Bowl}{Pray}{Stir} And as this continued, I suddenly started to see little flour/shortening balls form. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Half way there," I thought. I found my confidence increasing.

Add 4-5 tbs. of cold tap water until a large dough ball forms. It was at this point, that I nearly LOST it. I DID add 4 - 5 tbs. of cold water and NOTHING seemed to happen. I was stirring, praying, hoping, but it didn't look any different. I was still staring at small crumbles. So, I started adding one or two drops of water at a time and stirring AND praying AND questioning WHY I even started this project!

Then, suddenly, with the addition of ONE drop of water, I found I could make it into a huge dough ball. ONE drop of water made all the difference.

As I sit here watching my DS 4 eating his dumplings, I can't stop thinking about the miracle of the water drop. Now I know it took all the ingredients before that. But it was that final drop that made something out of what appeared to be nothing.

Aren't we like that? Have you ever had one seemingly insignificant event or conversation forever change you? Have you ever BEEN the drop of water that changed someone else? And I'm wondering just how many times I've given up on something just BEFORE the water droplet appeared and changed things?

May we all find ways to bring positive water droplets of change into our own lives and the lives of others. And may those of us who are on the verge of change not give up until the water comes. Because I believe that one drop of water just might change the world!

Wordless Wednesday---Prom Night

DS 1 and his sweet GF at the Prom two weeks ago.

Thinking Out Loud....

Here are just some random thoughts, since I am bit brain, dead:

• Today begins retention meetings at my school. In my state, you can be retained up to t times before the end of third grade if you don't make the right score on our state tests. So we start to look at kids in K and 1 and make suggestions regarding retention. It's hard.
• My wonderful DH is out of town again this week. When I came home from Ohio, he had worked so hard to have things done around here. It meant a lot to me.
• DS 2 went to the prom the other night with THREE girls. He is on the Senior Board for next year and the board went to help out this year's seniors.
• I have to get ready for Toronto in two weeks. I am speaking there and haven't done the presentation! It's really not out of the norm for me...I usually let it marinate in my head first.
• I am so excited for Sunday. We are going to go to a local ministry for homeless and poor and serve with our church. Ever since reading "Same Kind of Different as Me", my heartstrings have been tugged.
• Some days I feel like I just "go through the motions" necessary to get from morning to night. Yesterday was one of those days as I drove back and forth to meetings at school and at our district office.
• DS 3 had his Orchestra concert last night. He did a great job. He was excited because the director gave him a brand new bow to play his bass.
• DS 4 is practicing for "The Jungle Book" next week. He is a monkey. Our principal is Baloo. DS 4 told me that Mr. D. had to tell him to stop talking yesterday....I said, "Did that remind you to stop?" He said, "Yep. That put it in my head so I'd remember." You think?
• I'm going to National Scrapbook Day this Saturday and I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Well, that pretty much sums up the thoughts in my head today. Have a good one.