As the New Year Dawns...

In the past 48 hours there have been some sad tales that have crossed my path.  Some, more personal (and close) than others.  


Last night, while wallowing in the emotions of another event, I found out that a high school acquaintance passed last week.  We were Facebook "friends"...and really weren't great friends in school...but this was someone who always had a smile and a laugh for those around her.  And, at 46, she was young!  


Then a phone call came that DS 2 and his GF were in a fender bender.  Some woman pulled into their path and they hit her.  Thank God it was nothing more than a minor accident.  He said it could have been much worse. Still, it's one of those moments that kind of stops you in your tracks.  


Today he called to tell us that his GF's Grandpa had an accident on his farm in Georgia and that he was in the hospital unresponsive.  They were trying to revive him, with no success.  Then the call came to tell us that this man who we did not know had passed.  At the writing of this blog, DS 2 is driving his GF to Georgia so she can be with her family at this time of great sorrow.  


Honestly, I've had a few moments in the past 24 hours where I thought I'd like to just bury my head in the pillow and pretend the new year didn't arrive with some hurt and sadness.  But it did.  


Of course I know this is the general ebb and flow of life.  And I know that no matter where I'm standing, mountain or valley, God is there!  I love that.  2011 has come in oddly for me.  I've been reflective.  


I have some personal things with which I am wrestling...and I'm sad for two losses (along with a couple of others) in this season...but I am also resting in the promise that I find in Psalm 46:  "¹ God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. ² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, ³ though its waters roar and foam  and the mountains quake with their surging."  


And so as I go in to 2011, I commit to carry out verse 10 of the Psalmist's words:  "...Be still, and know that I am God;"  In fact, for the past several years I have known people who kind of ask God for a "word" or "words" for the new year.  


In 2006, my SIL, Heather did this after a friend of hers did it.  For that year "my word" was "promise". Again and again, He showed how he keeps His promises.  Then, the next year, my heart was impressed with two little words: MOLD ME. In 2008, it was FORWARD as I was forced to look ahead and In 2009, it was "LAUGHTER".   Last year, I didn't really blog specifically about it, but looking back now, I am certain that a little post I gave early in January was clearly my focus for last year:  "To and Through."  Again and again in the past twelve months I've been reminded that what we come "to", God brings us through. 


And now, here I am feeling a bit reflective.  A bit melancholy.  Somewhat sad.  And, yet,  I am certain that "my word(s)" for this year are the simple phrase:  "BE STILL AND KNOW."  And that is exactly what I intend to do!   


Happy New Year to All!!

Shine on Me Sunshine!

I think it's finally going to start warming up here in Southwest Florida! I have to say that we are used to sweatbeads rolling down our foreheads in the mid to late afternoons by now. This year, we're still in long sleeves and jackets! It's nuts.

We had a busy weekend at our house. I know, you're suprised, right? Those of you who read this blog regularly know that's pretty much the MO of our lives. Here's an update:

Friday night I went on a sunset boatride in honor of a colleague who died in the Fall. She really wanted people to have a party and celebrate her life, so that's what they did. It was a nice tribute to her. But, I have to say, it was COLD on the water! I kept telling myself that I weathered several scenic boat tours in Alaska in much colder weather. Still, I was thankful for the bottom floor of the boat (which was enclosed). There were about 50 of us there. I am so thankful for the "family-like" atmosphere in which I work! It is a very special group of people who truly care about one another.

Also Friday night was the funeral for our friend who died last week. I did not get to go, but they webcasted it, so I was able to watch it on Saturday. What an amazing turnout for her celebration of life! There were more than 1000 people there. I know it may sound strange, but I often wonder if these people with large funeral attendance really knew the impact their life had on the world. My guess is that very few of them would guess that so many people would turn out at their funeral and in many cases, they'd never be able to predict the kind words or special rememberances that are given as people talk about a life well-lived.

Saturday, DS 2 left for Nicaragua. He is there this week with a team of college students on a mission project. They are working in a dump, doing a VBS, and playing with kids in an orphanage there. Please be praying for their mission and trip in general. It is so exciting to watch your children catch that fire and desire to get out and help others!

Saturday afternoon DH and I threw a picnic for LG's family--including her siblings, an aunt, their grandmother, and other foster parents. It was LG's older brother's birthday, so it was quite special. He is such a great young man. He's the one that started my affinity for this family. I taught him in 2nd grade and mentored him throughout his remaining elementary school years.

The pictures above show some of the kids enjoying each other's company. It was a special time for LG. I asked her to name her favorite part when we were done and she said, "EVERYTHING!"

DS 1 is coming home this week for Spring Break. I am excited to have him around for a few days. We finally went and bought a futon so he would have a place to sleep at the house! DH and DS 3 helped put it together yesterday. I had to laugh because LG was picking music from DS 3's iPod to entertain them while putting it all together. I heard many songs flowing out of that room, but my favorite still has to be the themesong from Cheers...when they started singing at the top of their lungs:

Sometimes you wanna go....

Where everybody knows your na-ame!

And they're always glad you ca-ame!...

Cracked me UP!

In the midst of futon assembly, DS 4 came running from the backyard demanding everyone stop and come see what was there. Remember when I told you last week that I don't spend enough time there? Well, just LOOK at what he wanted us to see...

This giant little guy is about 3 and a half feet long. He was sunning right at the edge of our backyard and the pond! Of course, I am praying that this is all the further he comes...but I WILL be watching before I just up and go enjoy the beauty that is back there!

So that's an update from our neck of the woods! I hope you all have a fabulous week!

Today He's Twenty

My blog readers and I have celebrated FIVE of his birthdays right here on my blog. My DS 2 is 20 today.

When he turned 16, I wrote: "I remember being 16. I was not nearly as focused or ready to enter my "next stages" as he is. He is already thinking about what he wants to do when he "grows up". And his dreams and goals are good."

On his 17th birthday I shared: "DS 2 has always been someone who (as my Dad says) "Goes for the Gusto"! As one of his favorite middle school teachers told me last year, "He's a complete package!" He is a joy in our lives! I suspect with this type of determination that he will be successful in whatever he chooses to do."

By his 18th birthday, we had a relapse of sorts. Some of you might remember the "Duck Debacle"! Here's a snippet of the conversation we had around that time---DS 2: Mom, I've got a question for you. Me: OK DS 2: Uh, what would you say if my friends bought me a duck for my birthday? Me: HUH? Like a LIVE duck? DS 2: Yeah, I've always wanted a duck. And I asked them to get me one for my birthday. And now they're looking for one. And I want to name it "Llama". Me: Ducks are DIRTY. They are not meant to be kept in a house. Call your Uncle Greg and ask him about the ducks HE had as a child. DS 2: OK, I will. {Note: He called but Uncle Greg wasn't home.} Me: Still it's not a good idea. I would NOT be happy.{End conversation...}

Some of you might remember the evidence photo of that memorable experience:

Last year, I shared this photo:

I also shared the threat reminder that DS 4 gave when he found out I was sappy about another one of my guys getting older: "When he heard I was a bit sappy about my DS 2 turning 19, DS 4 said to me today: "Don't worry Mom! I'm not going anywhere. I told you I was planning to go to college online. I'll live at home forever." (Note: I may need serious therapy cause I'm starting to believe it.)

DS 2 said he's having a bit of a hard time turning 20. I did too, believe it or not. It was at that moment in my life that I realized that I was really "growing up"--no more "dumb teenage" decisions. I wish I could really tell him my "dumb decisions" stopped on that pivotal day in my life. They didn't. BUT I knew that it was a time of transition for me. And he knows the same.

By the way, DH seemed a bit left out cause he never knew I had a "hard time" turning 20. I reminded him he didn't KNOW me when I turned 20. He reminded me that he hasn't had trouble turning any age and that we already had a son turn 20 and I hadn't told them about it. I reminded him that THAT son was pretty much like his father.

Now we've come to this moment. Last night DS 2 told me: "For the first 20 years other people are pretty much making decisions for you. Now, I have to make decisions for myself to determine where I'll go and what I'll do for the future or I pretty much won't have one." Exactly!

I am confident, though, that he is on the right path. It was just a few weeks ago that his Twitter made me even more sure of it. He wrote: "Be still and know that I am God!" Thank you God!"

To that, DS 2, I say a hearty "Amen!" Don't you worry about a thing...you'll be fine as you head into your next 20 years. Your Mother on the other hand, is a bit of a sap! But, I'm a sap who loves you dearly through every twist and turn your life has taken and every one that's up ahead of you. Yes, you can "Be still and know that HE is God" whether you're 2, 12, 20 or 200!

Happy Birthday! I love you!

Book Review: Shelter Me

(Note: For those of you who choose to read Christian fiction, this book is a secular fiction book.)

I picked "shelter me" by Juliette Fay up while browsing for some light "end-of-summer" reading a few weeks ago. I think the cover is what first attracted me. It just screamed "warmth" and "read me" right at me! When I read the back cover blurb, I was further attracted by these words:
Four months after her husband's death, Janie LaMarche remains undone by grief and anger. Her mourning is disrupted, however, by the unexpected arrival of a builder with a contract to add a porch onto her house. Stunned, Janie realizes the porch was meant to be a surprise from her husband—now his last gift to her. ... As the porch takes shape, Janie discovers that the unknowable terrain of the future is best navigated with the help of others—even those we least expect to call on, much less learn to love.

The entire story is woven around this porch being built right in the middle of Janie's struggle to put her life back together. It is a beautiful story with raw emotion woven throughout. Janie seems to go through the steps that most grieving people do. She is at times angry and other times completely down. But she continues to try to make her way back to some sense of normalcy for herself and her children.

Little does she know that the porch, and the porch builder, are going to be so pivotal to her restoration. She also receives help from some other unlikely places: her priest befriends her and helps her start to get in touch with her response to her circumstances, her busy-body Aunt Jude forces her to come work in a homeless shelter/soup kitchen and Janie finds herself receiving when she's giving to these needy people, and the person that drove the car that hit her husband also contributes to Janie's road to healing.

At one point, she ends up alone with Tug (the porch builder) and she's quite miffed that her family was part of the plot to send them out alone after Thanksgiving dinner. I love the way the author describes the moment they leave the family gathering:

Out on Route 27, Tug inhaled and heaved a great sigh. The sound of his relief pulled her out of herself and away from stewing about the humiliation she'd suffered. Or might have suffered. Maybe. "Anger is so easy," she realized. "It's being scared that's hard." And if she were to heave her own great big sigh of relief, she knew it would be fear she exhaled, not rage.

Another picture I love is when Janie finds herself talking with Malcolm, a homeless man from the shelter. He is withdrawn and despondent one day and Janie goes to speak with him. She finds out that he has lost his sister. Here's a snippet of their exchange:

"Oh Malcolm," said Janie. "I am so sorry."
He handed her the cigarette and she took another puff. "Yeah," he said, "All's I keep thinking is, 'Now what?' Isn't that stupidest thing? I can't figure out what to do next. Like there is something, but I just don't know what."

Janie nodded. She stared out across the parking lot. He smelled like booze and pee and smoke and the most incredibly rancid body odor. But she didn't even care. "Now what?" she thought. "What other question is there?"

Janie's character is real and raw. The author captures this emotion again and again throughout the story. Janie is also forced to deal with the concept of forgiveness. While journaling one night she notes:

The more I think about it....the more I'm not even sure I really know what forgiveness is. Is it some big cosmic do-over? Like no harm, no foul? But there was harm--big hairy, serious harm. Robby doesn't get a do-over, and neither do I or the kids. Things are broken now that can't be fixed. How come the other guy gets a Get Out of Jail Free card?

As I said, this book primarily shows a very human response to a horrible tragedy. While there are snippets of faith throughout the book, it's not central. Janie has quite the language sometimes. The love story also gets somewhat graphic at points--but no more so than a PG-13 movie might. I kind of like that.

Of course, the faith side of me is saddened that this element is mostly missing from Janie's life. Hers is more an obligatory attendance at her family's Catholic church. But that's real life for so many people.

I like the fact that Fay is able to tell a story that is warm and inviting and emotion-packed without going too far or too explicity for my reading enjoyment. I appreciate the way she seems to use the character to figure out her own thoughts and beliefs on love, justice, mercy, and forgiveness. I found the book enjoyable and one I'd pass along.

A Confession and a Book Review

I've felt the guilt for months now.  Yesterday, my blogging friend Marilyn helped me realize it's time to come clean.  If you've read this blog for any time at all, then you know that I love to read and write book reviews to share with you.  For the past two years, my reading has been pretty consistent.  I reviewed 23 books in 2007 and 21 in 2008.  

I know some of you read much MORE than that.   I read quite a bit professionally in my line of work that I don't share here.  Still, my pleasure reading has fallen WAY down so far this year.  After finishing the Twilight series in December, it took me until NOW to finish a book!  I have t

hree more that I am in the midst of reading...with no idea when I'll get them finished.  

Anyway, at jury duty last week, I FINALLY completed my first book of the year, Finding Home by Jim Daly.  So, I say "better late than never" and thanks, Marilyn, for the swift kick in the rear!  

Jim Daly is currently the President of Focus on the Family ministries.  This book is HIS story.  Jim was born into a family that could have been the poster family for dysfunctional.  Here's a snippet of Publisher's Weekly's review:  

Daly's childhood family sorely needed focus: the last of five children born to aging alcoholics, young Jimmy experienced his father's abandonment, his stepfather's rages, his mother's death and several years with a gloriously insane foster family living next to their own personal garbage dump. He apparently avoided beatings and sexual abuse, though his chirpy coauthor rarely plumbs the depths of Daly's probable anguish. Rather than looking inward, the young adolescent developed a pragmatic philosophy of survival: "Keep your expectations low. That way you don't get hurt." 

And the list goes on.  He really had no faith background to speak of.  As a child, Jim lived in the projects with his single mother.  He witnessed a murder outside his bedroom window.   He was not permitted to visit his mother while she lay on her death bed due to his controlling stepfather.  Later, as a foster child, he was approached by an older foster brother with sexual intentions.  By God's grace, there was intervention for him in that situation.  

It almost seemed surreal when I read the book.  I kept asking myself, "HOW could one man experience so much heartache and despair, yet turn into the president of Focus?"  Jim does take the time to answer this question towards the end of his book.  Still, I think it's no less than a miracle.  With all of his experiences, statistics show he should be in prison or on the streets today.  It's evident, though, that God pursued Jim through all those years.  

This book should NEVER take anyone four months to read!  While reading, I was reminded again and again that every choice we make impacts someone else.  Some greater than others.  And, honestly, I found myself questioning some of the choices made by Jim's "family".  In some cases, like when they went to foster care, I wondered WHY?  He had an adult brother at that point. There were "nice family friends" in the suburbs that might have taken them in...or at least found better help for these kids.  Then, I wondered how many times I've had the chance to be someone's hope and yet turned my head.  

Jim's story is a great story of perseverance and hope.  It is in my favorite genre: biography.  And it reminds us that there are still people right in our own neighborhoods that need us to be avenues of hope and help in their time of need.  Most of all, though, it is a powerful picture that tells us our circumstances don't have to define the person we become.  That, ultimately, can and should be defined by God, our protector and creator who is there pursuing us with his grace even when we don't know or understand it.  I don't know a better (or more awesome) message than that!  

A Gift Giving Reflection

So many people are looking for ways to cut back holiday gift giving this year. I hear it over and over again in all socio-economic circles. Recently, I found myself really pondering the question of "why" we ever got to the place that we lavish gifts on people during the holidays.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving gifts! I love shopping for them. I love thinking about the person who is going to receive each one. It's a very special time for me most of the time. Sometimes, though, I realize my gift giving is in danger of becoming more about me than about the recipient. It's a very fine line, in my opinion.

I confess, there are times when I want one year's gift to "outdo" the one from the previous year. I suspect that some of you out there in the blogosphere also suffer from this "one upmanship" condition occasionally as well. I suppose I could sit on some analyst's couch to figure out why that occasionally happens to me. But I also think I can sum it up in one word: SELF.

Another reason it's gotten out of hand is societal in nature. We are way over-dosed on bigger, better, faster, smarter, shinier, more bells and whistles from the media each year. I read somewhere that some civic group is trying to ban advertising from children's TV channels. I don't know if that would work. I mean, you'd have to ban some of the advertising on adult TV as well. We are constantly looking for the upgrade. In a whole other context this year, my DH and I talked about this briefly: "Not everything has to be an upgrade. We have to reach the place where we are satisfied with what we have." And when we realize that we don't NEED so much of what we have.

Just last night I saw a commercial for a luxury car. It started out with about 45 seconds of a "home video" from the 70's of a child getting his big wheel for Christmas. The entire time, I was thinking, "wow, are they bringing big wheel back?" Then the commercial jumps to modern day with the new Lexus out front for Christmas.

I know that no respectable adult is going to want a Big Wheel for Christmas. But I still wonder when did we lose the wonder of the simple things like the little boy with his Big Wheel?

Sunday I realized that not all of us have.

I was talking to our Pastor's son. He's 4 and a delightful bundle of energy! He was asking about the "angel tree" gifts that our church is giving for a needy family. I told him we were going to buy gifts for some boys and girls who don't have much. He said, "Well, all I know is that Christmas is coming and I'm going to get a present."

I asked the natural next question, "What would you like for Christmas this year?" His answer shocked me: "I just want an ORANGE YO-YO! I hope I get my ORANGE YO-YO!" He was SO excited about that simple little toy. I even pushed further and said, "Is that all you want?" With his sweet little grin he answered a confident, "Yes, that's all!"

And once again, I was reminded that we can learn so much from young children! For the most part, they get it. It's the outside influences that begin the change their wants into "needs"...for it is children who find joy in boxes and ribbons and not just the toy inside. They seize moments and make memories. And it's children who don't value the people in their lives by the gifts they give (or don't give). They live in the here and now.

Yep, I think THEY get it!

Thursday Thankfulness...

Thanksgiving is two weeks away.

This morning I opened my blog, as I often do, so see who's been here. I read comments and that little box over to the left caught my eye. It's the one that I put there because I was going to make sure that I was thankful for the WHOLE month rather than just focusing on my blessings during that one week...or worse, that one day. And a tinge of guilt came over me as I noticed that I stopped on Nov. 5th...EIGHT days ago!

THEN, on my way to work this morning, the DJ's started talking about the "health benefits" of gratitude and being thankful. They cited some research and I again found myself thinking, "You didn't even keep FIVE days worth of gratitude!"

When I got to work, I looked up the research and decided I'd share it here as a reminder that we all need to be thankful for many many reasons. Just like my Mom used to say about my vegetables..."It's good for you!" Look at this:

- Young adults who took part in self-guided daily gratitude exercises, as opposed to members of a control group who focused on hassles, reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, energy and were more likely to help someone.

- In a 21-day study of people with neuromuscular diseases (such as muscular dystrophy and polio), those who practiced gratitude felt more energy, more connected to others, slept better and were more optimistic.

- People who regularly attend religious services and engage in spiritual activities are more likely to be grateful, feel more interconnected to all life and express more responsibility to others.

- People who report high rates of gratitude are less likely to judge their success based on their material wealth and success.

This is highly useful data. Gathered in large part by psychologists Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, it supports those who seek empirical evidence that it will do them good to practise gratitude.

I know that we often talk about our blessings. And I often tell myself, in my head, about all that I'm thankful for...but I don't know that I tell OTHERS what I'm thankful for. And more important, I don't think I tell those who deserve my gratitude just how much they are appreciated.

It's never too late to start. I'm going to start by updating my list today....

What are you going to do to show thanks today?

Book Review: The Abstinence Teacher

I picked this novel up while perusing a shelf of New York Times Bestsellers not long ago. I was intrigued by the back cover blurb which read:

Stonewood Heights is the perfect place to raise kids...It's the kind of place where parents are involved in their children's lives...Ruth Ramsey is the human sexuality teacher...She believes that "pleasure is good, shame is bad, and knowledge is power." Ruth's younger daughter's soccer coach is Tim Mason, a former stoner and rocker whose response to hitting rock bottom was to reach out and be saved. Tim belongs to The Tabernacle, an evangelical Christian church that doesn't approve of Ruth's style of teaching. And Ruth in turn doesn't applaud The Tabernacle's mission to take its message outside its doors.

Adversaries in a small-town culture war, Ruth and Tim instinctively mistrust each other. But when a controversy on the soccer field pushes the two of them to actually talk to each other, they are forced to take each other at something other than face value.

The Abstinence Teacher exposes the powerful emotions that run beneath the surface of modern American family life and explores the complex spiritual and sexual lives of ordinary people.

I chose this book because I was interested in seeing how this author portrayed both sides of a rather "hot topic". Here's what I found:

There are several threads that are woven neatly through the narrative. There are the clear threads which are introduced in the description above: abstinence curriculum, evangelical impact in the world. But there is also a thread that I think is much more real for Christians everywhere: addictive personalities that go from drugs and/or alcohol or some other addiction to the Church AND the problem of those churches that can be so controlling and judgmental.

I also love how the author presents subtle parallels in the individual battles of each of the main characters. For example, Tim is on the "side" of the evangelicals demanding the abstinence curriculum from Ruth. She is upset at the intolerance of those church members. But when Ruth finds herself feeling totally violated when Tim offers prayer at her daughter's soccer game, she is no less tolerant.

For those of you who limit yourselves to "Christian books" this is NOT a book that specifically fits that category. It is presented fairly, in my opinion and gives the reader the view of different lenses that could belong to any person in our own communities. But it is also quite graphic at some points and includes language that might be offensive to some. Although I think the inclusion of these references in the book help the reader consider other sides and viewpoints.

Without revealing it, I want to say that I was disappointed in the ending. It didn't "wrap up" enough for me...in fact, it unraveled a bit of the story at this point in my opinion. That being said, I'm glad I took the time to read it and enjoyed the personal connections to my own life and experiences.

It's Monday Do YOU Know What that Means?

In our city, Moe's celebrates "Moe Mondays". This is where you get any burrito and a drink for $5.55. My boys often go to Moe's on Mondays. Their burritos are simply huge and you can have them made with the toppings you pick. I rarely join them to eat there, although I do enjoy Moe's food.

Tonight, I got home late and DH tells me that a few of our family members aren't feeling well and that DSs 2 and 3 are at Moe's because they WERE hungry. I was starving since I did not get a lunch today and decided I'd see about joining them and leave sick bay at home.

Of course, the boys were gracious and said they'd wait for me even though they were more than half way through their meal. Upon my arrival at the restaurant, I should have realized just what a mess it was going to be! Cars were parked pretty much anywhere they could find a spot. And when I walked in, and was greeted with the infamous "Welcome to Moe's!", I could tell I just didn't belong!

I mean it was FILLED with the 15 - 20-something set with only a few folks of my age in the room. It was like a giant teen young adult ant hill. And they were everywhere. My growling stomach won out and I got in line anyway.

After making it through the line, DSs 2 and 3 and their friends had an empty table close by where they were seated. I told them I'd sit there. But they wouldn't have it. They squeezed room for their "forty-something" perhaps-she-needs-dates-for-hot-flashes Mother. And they politely sat there and talked while I tried to enjoy a peaceful dinner.

Although that was a stretch! The line, which remained out the door, continued to be filled with this crowd. It was loud. Very loud. It seemed that they all knew each other and there was communication throughout the restaurant that was weaving an invisible web of connections between diners. I actually began to wonder if there is a whole "Moe's Monday" cult or something!

Although I was tired, I enjoyed it in many ways. And I thanked God that my boys aren't afraid to get out with their Mother and are willing to let me occasionally glimpse into their teen and young adult lives. But I also told myself that next time I was tempted, I'd just send them with money and eat my burrito in the comfort of my own home!

Random Thoughts...

Here are some random thoughts from my weekend and today:

** Sandy and I finished writing our next book for teachers. Text is done and ready to be sent to the publisher. Now for the fun editing process!!

** I got the edits back on the book I just finished with Suzi and Kristin for K/1 teachers....I hate the pictures...and am absolutely ready to CRY about it. It's so hard to have a vision and let someone else try to bring it to fruition for you!!

** We had a VERY cool service at church yesterday. We call it "Interact". We set up several stations around the room. At one we wrote letters to our local fire stations to say thank you for all of their hard work. We made 350 thank you bags for a local assisted living facility. We also made 400 bags of goodies for our local kids beach run. And we tagged toys for the hospital to be given to kids who are sick or in need.

** My job is to oversee this committee which is easy cause they're all hard workers. But I had to come up with the items for the thank you bags.

** Thanks to my awesome family, and a marathon trip to all of the dollar bins at our local JoAnn's stores, I acquired 350 corkboard coasters in the shape of teapots. This included my brother in Texas who brought my teapots to me on Saturday! We decorated them with "thank you" and a ribbon and put them in a baggie with cookies, tea, and mints.

**Today I took my niece, nephew, DS 4, and his friend to the waterpark for two hours. We had a grand time.

** My niece and nephew came home with us and will go back to Grandma and Grandpa's after dinner tonight.

** DS 3 and I went with the team to distribute the thank you bags at the ALF today. It was wonderful to see the look of surprise on the faces of these employees when we simply took the time to say "thank you for all that you do"!!

** DH is preparing our dinner. He's so good!!

** I'm catching up on some much-needed "down time" thanks to my DSs who are playing with their cousins.

What Would You DO for Jesus?

{Note: Scroll down for Thursday Thirteen.}

Before she traveled with Women of Faith, and before she looked like this: Sheila Walsh was a major player in 1980's Contemporary Christian music. In fact, the Sheila Walsh that I first "knew," and listened to, on my stereo looked like this:

She was "edgy" and really had quite a unique "rock" sound. I had the opportunity to hear Sheila in concert on more than one occasion during my college years. In fact, here are DH and I at a music festival (in 1985 or 86) where Sheila played:

Dontcha' LOVE the hair???

Anyway, she ministered to me in a big way. I loved her songs. I loved her humble attitude. I loved her Scottish accent. I loved her stories.

Today, something she said in one of those concerts back then came back to me.

DH and I have been talking about some current criticism in Christian circles about how different churches reach out to those who aren't connected with a church. This would include things like having coffee available at the service, perhaps meeting in a space that is not "churchy", using large screens for projection, or any other thing that someone considers "out of the ordinary". Some Christians have decided that some of these things are "wrong".

In my personal opinion, just about anything we can do (within moral reason) to make church positive, relevant and meaningful for those who are disconnected, is a good thing. So, I tend to dismiss this thinking as harsh and filled with judgment. I mean, who cares if a church serves gourmet coffee? If it helps someone be able to relax as they listen to a sermon, is that a bad thing? And so what if the church encourages people to come in their shorts vs. getting dressed to the nines?

Back to Sheila...

One of the last times I saw her in concert, she was talking about facing criticism for the way she dressed for her concerts back then. And she replied in her sweet Scottish voice: "I'd paint my hair green and stand on my head if it'd help people to love Jesus."

I guess we all have to ask ourselves just how "far we are we are willing to go" to reach out to others.

Sheila's message that day was so much more than green hair or headstands. It was her personal conviction to reach people in a way they understood. She knew then that, for some people, it required becoming more "like them" in order to point the way to a different path. And she knew that nothing else was going to help them connect than what they "knew" and "understood".

So, I am pondering the question again more than 20 years later....because I still think it's worth reflection: "What would I be willing to DO to help someone love Jesus?" AND "What should the church be willing to do?"

Nativities 101

Below is a repeat post from Dec. 2006. Some of you commented about my Nativity collection. I literally take everything off of shelves and walls and change it out for Nativities. I used to keep the olive wood one that DH bought me in Israel out year round, but now I pretty much get them out when the season starts and put them away when it's over. This post shared the story of the 20 that are on display in my family room. This year, I am adding five more to this room. I will try and post those as soon as possible.

Now for my explanation from last year:

As I promised, I want to share some of my Nativities with the blogging world.
Over to the right, you'll see (starting from the top left) a stocking hanger, a box that holds Nativity ornaments (it's too interesting to put away) and a candle holder. On the second row, you'll see one that one of the boys bought me in their school fundraiser one year. The second one on that row is one that a dear friend gave me. It was made out of one piece of clay. The figures were carved out of the "clay clump". On the bottom shelf, you'll see the ornaments that came out of the box on the top shelf. These are made out of sculpting clay. And on the right, is another small one that one of the boys bought (in a different year) from a different fund raiser.

In the picture directly under this, you'll see one that I bought for myself at an "After-Christmas" sale a few years ago. I love Veggie Tales! They have been an integral part of my boys' childhood years. We have many of the movies. I never took it out of the box because I can think of no better way to display it.

This shelf on the left is also in the family room. Starting on the top is a small tree with Nativity ornaments. Just to the right of it is a snow globe with the Precious Moments figures in it. On the second shelf--to the left is one that a family bought us when we cared for their dog one year. It was purchased in Mexico and is very interesting.

The one to the right on the second shelf was made for me by a friend from our previous church, Sue, who was learning to use the scroll saw (I think that's the right tool). On the bottom row, you'll see two of the smallest ones I have. The one on the left (is white) and very intricate inside. DH's former District Superintendent and his family brought back for us after a trip overseas.

The one on the right on the bottom shelf is in a small walnut shell. It is really special to me. Each year, DH and I have hosted an Open House during the holidays for our church family. This is kind of how the whole Nativity thing began. People would come over and see the ones that we had and then they kind of started adding to the collection as they would see one somewhere.

The little walnut was brought over one year during the Open House. The man who brought it was a WWII vet and when he handed it to me, he said, "I got this when I was serving in the war. I was stationed in Germany. I thought it was so unique, and so I bought it. I knew it needed somewhere special to be, so I am giving it to you." I have displayed it proudly each year since that day. He is gone now...that makes it even more special to me.

This photo shows three more that were given to me by other people. The one on the left was given to me by DH when he went on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. The snow globe and the center was given to me by DH one Christmas. And the one on the right was given to me by my Dad and StepMom. I believe it's from Phoenix.

This nativity in the photo on the right, was cut out by a man who was in our church in South Tampa. His name was Rick. He also loved looking at our Nativities each year when he would come to Open House. He cut them out and his wife, Vickie, who was quite an artist, painted them. I have always loved this set. It has such character.

I love them below the window painting that is displayed above them. This reminds me of being little and laying awake waiting to hear "sleigh bells in the (ahem) sand"...what can I say? I was raised in Florida...no snow here.

Finally, the shelf in the photo below holds one that was also made for me by Rick. The one on the top shelf that is shaped like a half-circle. It was the first one that he made for me. This served as a pattern later on for my Grandfather as he learned to cut them. He loved this piece, too. The one on the bottom shelf in the picture above is another one made for me by Sue and her husband. They used a wood burning kit on it. It's really neat.

We have only scratched the "tip" of the Nativity "iceberg" that is at my house. There are also ornaments on each tree that have been given to us over the years. The Nativities in this blog entry are all displayed in the family room.

I realize that these are a little like "Home Movies". If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I'll try to get the Living Room photographed and shared in the next day or so.

DS 3 Made Me Do It...

I'm not feeling all that great today. After church, I came home, laid on the couch and "vegged". While minding my own business, DS 3 was across from me with his laptop and he annonced, "Mom you've really got to blog!" I guess he's tired of seeing my Wednesday post everytime he logs on to see what I might have written about him or his brothers.

He's right.

I, too, have checked my blog over this weekend as if it were going to update on its own! I even secretly found myself wishing I had more comments on my last post. Who am I kidding?

I could do a Sunday Seven, I could do a book review on the book I completed last night, or I could fill you in on the happenings of our family over the past few days. I considered making a slide show, but Rock You was down.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner at my BIL and SIL, Heather's house. There were 18 of us in all celebrating together. This was the first time in about 10 or more years that this group has been together on Thanksgiving. Thank you, Dave and Heather, for hosting a lovely day.

On Friday, DH got up earlier than me to go shopping at Home Depot and some other places. I was about 30 minutes behind him, and much less motivated. I was home by 9:30am and only went back out once to take DS 2.

Saturday morning, I went to the gym for a much-needed After-Thanksgiving workout. In the afternoon we went to my Dad's to visit with my brother, Dan, who is in town for a couple of weeks. It's always fun to go over to the golf course outside their house for a little football. Last night, we got to see this hawk while we were out there. I'm sorry it is a little blurry.

When I think about Thanksgiving, I think about my blessings. And those blessings start with my family. And because of that my weekend has been blessing after blessing after blessing.

More Thinking...

In light of my post the other day about the guy at church, I've been especially interested in your feedback via comments. And, of course, I am still reflecting myself. I read, with interest, Danielle's thoughts on a similar (yet different) situation. Danielle brings up some extremely valid points:

If the church is God's home and who are we to determine who is welcome there or not? ...I think it is wrong, wrong, wrong to shun an individual because he/she does not act in accordance with 'mainstream' society...or the protocols put in place by man.

She's right. It's not fair for anyone, including me, to judge a person by his attitudes or actions. And I would never suggest that he doesn't belong in church anymore than me or anyone else there.

I also think, however, that there is a place for instruction. Many many people are totally unaware of social cues and/or how others perceive their actions. And, the more I think of it, the more I am certain that this is as true for you and me as it is for those who appear a bit more "out there" or "different".

My DH has mentioned the distraction of this person, and the perceived need to always add something else at the end of the service, to the pastor. And the pastor agreed that this should not be a frequent event and that it could be a turn-off for visitors and others in attendance.

I also know that this is the type of person that kind of "passes through" churches. You know until they find the next place that will give them a platform on which to be seen and/or heard.

And I know that I, too, have perhaps distracted people from focusing on Christ at times. I am sure I've done some "Spiritual Coin Clinking" of my own.

So, while we wait and see how instruction and enlightening works with the subject of my post in our weekly services, I am going to use this chance for me to get rid of those things I say or do that may distract others from their relationship with God.

Thanks everyone, for your feedback. I'll let you know how it goes.

Book Review: Holy Discontent

Three weeks ago, I received an email from a person at Zondervan books asking if I'd be willing to review one or both of two new books on my blog. At first, I thought it was "junk mail", but as I read the descriptions of the books, I thought, "I might as well. I'm on a reading frenzy anyway this summer." So I sent the email that said I agreed to review BOTH books. I forgot about the email and went about my Summer busy-ness.

On Saturday, the books arrived in the mail. I looked them over and found myself thankful that they both looked kind of short so that I could read them before we leave on our cruise. As you can see from the previous post, though, I was going to finish Life of Pi first.

Sunday came and we went to church. The Pastor started a new series called, Unlikely Heroes. He started talking about this whole idea of "Holy Discontent" and cited the book several times. I found myself wondering if it were just a coincidence that I received the book the day before this series kicked off??? He talked about the fact that each of us has the opportunity to be a hero in someone else's life...even in simple ways.

I was stirred up as I left the service yesterday. Iwas bugged by some things that took place after the Pastor spoke...people who stood to speak and though under the auspices of "glorifying God" seemed to be "glorifying self". I was bugged by the fact that we have a mix of people....Socio-economic status wise and that sometimes this can be a stumbling block for people who are from a different background. I was bothered by the fact that the service went long and I wondered if I could bring my "unchurched" friends to such a place and expect them to accept it. To say the least, I was a bit cranky.

Even though I was bugged by some of the "extra" events, the Pastor's words kept ringing in my mind: We have to find that place of Holy Discontent and ACT on it! I came home and started Bill Hybels' book, Holy Discontent almost immediately after I finished reading Pi.

Basically, Hybels asserts that it's when we have what he calls a "Popeye Moment" when we find ourselves saying, "Thats all I can stands and I can't stands no more!" that we are in that state of Holy Discontent. It's at the point when we are so bugged, so enraged, so passionate about something that we are ready to pop open our own can of holy spinach and take action. Hybels calls this "the thing that wrecks you and also wrecks God so that He can sign you up for service."

He describes very famous people who have had this type of discontent: Moses, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Dr. Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, and Bono. All people that I see "far out of MY league"! But he also describes the holy discontent of people who were relative "unknowns"--normal people like you and me. Hybels asserts that when we know what our holy discontent is that it's this one thing that will...

move you off of dead center, get you off the couch, and thrust you into the game, where it's fight, fight, fight until some progress starts to show up! What's more, once you say yes to serving God's agenda in the world, he then begins the process of channeling the holy-discontent frustration into a postive vision that propels you into a future charged with energy and purpose.

I found myself reading with a fervor, hoping that somewhere in these pages, I'd find "Susan's Holy Discontent". I didn't. My problem is that I get insensed by many of the "big" things I see happening in our world poverty, hunger, injustice, violence, etc. And the truth is, that because I feel "called" into education and teaching in a school that serves children of poverty, I feel like, in some ways, I live out my Holy Discontent daily.

I also found myself reflecting on people I know who are obviously in touch with their own Holy Discontent: Jane at Cozy Reader and her husband who have a heart for starting (and have started) a seminary and ministries in Venezuela, my DSs 1 & 2 who have both told me they'd like to go back to Belize, a man in our church who flies supplies to third world countries, the ministry in our church that provides clothes to the homeless and hurting, my very good college friend who is working for Wycliffe Bible Translation etc. etc. etc.

But I also know there's more for ME to do. And so I was glad when the author addressed people who are in the place I am...trying to find my "IT" for this season in my life. This quote at the end of the book summarized my current position:

Are you willing for God to lead you in the endeavor of figuring out what it is that you cannot stand--what wrecks you from the inside out? Don't
forget that there's a reason why you grew up the way you did. Why you've
experienced what you have. Why you've traveled where you've been.
And He is looking for someone just like you to start setting some
things right in this world.

I believe it's when we find our God-given/God-inspired passion and seek after it with zeal and purpose, that we will make a difference in this world. I, for one, can't wait to see what the next chapter holds!

For me, this book was a powerful read. I actually found myself wondering if I could "get" my kids and my friends to read it. It's time that we stop being complacent and waiting for others to be making a difference in the world. Even if it's our "little world" in which we live, and work, and play. We can make a difference NOW right where we are! We just have to WANT IT.

May we ALL find our place of Holy Discontent then ACT upon it!

For another perspective on this topic, and review of this book, go visit Lauren's Post at Baseballs and Bows.

From My Bookshelf...

I finished reading two more books this week. The first one is an educational book by Dr. Todd Whitaker called Dealing with Difficult Teachers. This book intrigued me because it's true that I work in a profession where it is very difficult to "get rid of" ineffective and difficult teachers. It's one of the saddest things about my job.


Dr. Whitaker gives some insight that I think is helpful in everyday life. He notes that difficult teachers really are often very negative people. They are not just difficult at school, but most likely in their home/personal life as well. Therefore, they don't know that they are difficult. I think this is true about most "Negative Neds and Nellies" out there.


This book, and Dr. Whitaker's strategies, will help me when I deal with teachers in my own school. It also serves as a reminder that we have to be "about kids" in education...and sometimes this means that we have to be tough with those who forget this most important part of the job.

As I mentioned earlier about my Summer Reading, I am trying to balance Nonfiction/Informational with Fiction/Fun reading.

So the second book I picked up is Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage by Dina Matos McGreevey. This is actually my favorite genre: biography. Dina is the ex-wife of former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey. Her husband resigned from office in 2004 after admitting that he was gay and that he had an affair while in office (and married).

The story that unfolds in Dina's book is one of strength and character. She is a woman who had political convictions as well as a strong faith. She believed in "forever marriage" and the sacredness of it. Yet, she was blind-sided by this admission of her husband's.


While I don't espouse many of her political stances, I could certainly feel her pain and grief as the rug was literally pulled out from under her. I found myself connecting with her as a wife and a mother. And certainly I haven't "been there"---but I am certain that, in her situation, I may have had similar reactions. And I admire her strength as she continues to fight for what's right for her and her daughter, Jacqueline.


Now, I'm back to nonfiction. I've chosen another Todd Whitaker book What Great Teachers Do Differently. I figure I need to read about what sets the superstars apart from the rest to balance out my earlier reading. My next "fun" book will be Memoirs of a Geisha (unless I decide to go out and get Khaled Hosseini's new book A Thousand Splendid Suns (which is a good possibility after reading some of the reviews).

Happy Reading Everyone!

{Edited to Add: I am not sure what is going on with these pictures...can you only see half of them? The full pic is in my post and preview. Weird.}

More Reflections

I've just returned from a weekly outreach program that is run in our city. Each week, the poor and homeless can come to this place for hot food and worship. Once a month, another ministry comes in and hands out clothes and toiletries.

Our church went today to help with the latter. This was my first time there. DH and my older two boys went several years ago fairly regularly to help lead worship and serve food.

Several people read my blog yesterday and commented that they might have been in the "questioning crowd" wondering WHY and HOW such a thing could happen if there were responsible adults involved. And I am really no different than you..except experience tells me it's often not what it appears on the surface.

Several years ago, I taught in my first inner city school. It was there that I realized that I really did have hidden prejudice and a sort of "us and them" mentality. I didn't realize it at first, but layer by layer throughout that year, my perceptions began to surface. I learned so much about myself there. I cleaned my "thought house" as I realized that we really are not all that different. I actually thought that *I* might be able to "save" some of these children and their families. I was wrong.

Then, many years later, I again worked in the inner city and realized it wasn't up to me to have a "savior" mentality. It's not about "saving" anyone from the life they live. I cannot expect people to live and act the way I do or even in the way that I deem "right". It's not about making people more like me...it's about showing them how to be successful in their world...and ensuring they have the resources to do so.

Now, here I am 16 years from my first inner city teaching job and 8 years from the second one knowing that the best thing we can do to "close the gap" between cultures is to develop relationships. And part of developing relationships is meeting needs.

Today was another gentle reminder that every human being needs to be treated with dignity and respect. And if there is any remnant of preconceived notions or beliefs, then we must ask that they be confronted and whittled down to nothing.

While reading Same Kind of Different as Me I was struck by Denver Moore's take on this situation (Denver is shown in the photo on the left when he was at our book store recently--that's my back in the photo). He likened what "white people" do to "catch and release" fishing. He asked Ron Hall about it. He didn't understand WHY anyone would "catch and release" when fishing because the reason he,and people like him, fished was to meet a need. Yet he knew that white men seemed to catch and release.

He said they did the same thing in the shelter. They came in and served until it felt good then left never to be seen again. He said if you really want to make a difference, then you needed to "fish for keeps". Our Pastor said today we need to spend time building relationships---not just for our next "evangelistic mission"---but because it's what we are called to do.

This week has been a gentle reminder that my pole's going "in the water" and I'm looking for "keepers". I'll be back downtown next month. I think that's the way God wants it.

Thinking Out Loud....

Here are just some random thoughts, since I am bit brain, dead:

• Today begins retention meetings at my school. In my state, you can be retained up to t times before the end of third grade if you don't make the right score on our state tests. So we start to look at kids in K and 1 and make suggestions regarding retention. It's hard.
• My wonderful DH is out of town again this week. When I came home from Ohio, he had worked so hard to have things done around here. It meant a lot to me.
• DS 2 went to the prom the other night with THREE girls. He is on the Senior Board for next year and the board went to help out this year's seniors.
• I have to get ready for Toronto in two weeks. I am speaking there and haven't done the presentation! It's really not out of the norm for me...I usually let it marinate in my head first.
• I am so excited for Sunday. We are going to go to a local ministry for homeless and poor and serve with our church. Ever since reading "Same Kind of Different as Me", my heartstrings have been tugged.
• Some days I feel like I just "go through the motions" necessary to get from morning to night. Yesterday was one of those days as I drove back and forth to meetings at school and at our district office.
• DS 3 had his Orchestra concert last night. He did a great job. He was excited because the director gave him a brand new bow to play his bass.
• DS 4 is practicing for "The Jungle Book" next week. He is a monkey. Our principal is Baloo. DS 4 told me that Mr. D. had to tell him to stop talking yesterday....I said, "Did that remind you to stop?" He said, "Yep. That put it in my head so I'd remember." You think?
• I'm going to National Scrapbook Day this Saturday and I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Well, that pretty much sums up the thoughts in my head today. Have a good one.

A New Year's Reflection...

I saw this on a few other blogs today and I thought it was a good idea. I decided that it would be a good idea to try and see if I can actually remember the last 12 months!

1. What did you do in 2005 that you had never done before?
Took a sleep study....now THERE'S an exciting thing to record!

2.Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
If I don't remember them, then I guess that I cannot say with confidence that I kept them. I am really not into the whole "resolution" thing...as evidenced in my blogs from the past few days.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Both Sisters-in-law gave birth to two beautiful nephews: one in February...one in December. A dear friend's daughter gave birth to a little boy in November.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Countries? That would mean that I would have to get on a plane and go over water, right??? NOT going to happen.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
The ability to recognize those times that I need to slow down and enjoy life, friends, and family day to day.

7. What dates will remain etched in your memory and why?
From this year? I can't think of any...

8. What's your biggest achievement of the year?
I earned National Board Certification---a VERY LOONNGGG process!!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I had great ambition to reorganize my closets...and didn't do it. There's always 2006!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope.

11.What was the best thing you bought?
New sofas for the family room and the big screen TV.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
DS 1 made it through the LPN program in high school...this is an incredible accomplishment for a young man.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?
The kids in our area (two different families) who killed their own parents---unbelievable!!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Savings, house, cars, charity, kids, among other things (and not necessarily in that order).

15. What did you get really really excited about?
Finishing another book...it's like giving birth

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"The Time of Your Life" (Greenday)

17. Compared to this time last year are you?
a)happier or sadder? happier
b)fatter or thinner? same
c)richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you had done more of?
Scrapbooking, simply hanging out with kids, travel

19. What do you wish you had done less of?
working and worrying

20. How will (did) you be spending (spend) New Year's Eve?
Scrapbooking and relaxing at home with dh and 2/4 sons.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes, all over again, with my wonderful dh!!

22. What was your favorite TV program?
American Idol/The Amazing Race

23. What was the most fun you had this year?*
I loved going to Ohio to surprise my Grandmother for her 85th birthday!

(*Note: I changed this question from something about hating someone else...since I didn't even think that question was worth contemplating!)

24. What was the best book you read?
Abram's Daughters Series (all five of them) by Beverly Lewis

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Michael Buble' and Natalie Grant's CD

26. What did you want and get?
New furniture and a house

27. What did you not want and not get?
SICK

28. What was your favorite film this year?
Chronicles of Narnia

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Buried the dog..Ate out....41

30. What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
I really can't think of anything...it was a good year and I am satisfied.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion in 2005?
Same old, same old

32. What kept you sane?
DH and my small group

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
"Fancy"???? HUH????

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I think I was stirred when Katrina hit and I watched the two political parties blaming each other for the way it was (or was not being handled)...a little less bickering a little more focus on the people and the real issues would have been nice.

35. Who did you miss?
My Grandfather---not a day goes by that I don't think about him

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Ava

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
I am continually reminded of this scripture:

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"He sees you - He knows you - He loves you
And He wants you to know that

The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given
Were made for something beautiful
Life - don't let it pass you by
Because you were created for something beautiful" (Something Beautiful by Natalie Grant)


I'm going to tag anyone who is reading this...come on...it's good to reflect!! Try it...you'll like it!!