Some System Thoughts

Most of you know that our LG is in foster care. She came to our home in October and we have had our share of learning and experiences since that time. I believe that the system that tries so hard to protect children and provide safe, viable homes for them also occasionally fails them. I also believe that it's changed so much over the years--mostly for the better. Some things are simply archaic though. We are having to relearn much of it as we update our license.

DH and I were licensed earlier in our marriage in another town. We had several children come through our home during that time. We took a ten-week course to be able to take in children. The classes teach you specifically about the process and how it works. Of course, the best teacher is still the day-to-day experiences that you get dealing with the real situations. But it's an important foundation for people who will be interacting with a very complex system.

Here we are 15 years later having to take the class again. There is no renewal class. No way to update your license with a shortened, or refresher, course. Nope. We have to take the whole kit and kaboodle again! So, every Tuesday night, DH and I head off to our ten week (3 hour per night) course to be recertified. When you figure in driving time, we are gone for almost five hours each week. So far, the course has been primarily lecture...and not very stimulating lecture at that. I am TRYING to be a good student, but most weeks it's just not easy. I agree that it's nice to have time for just DH and I to visit....but this is not the circumstances that I would choose.

Every week, we have three to four hours of visits with people working LG's case. Every other week we see people from her family--which can be another 3 - 4 hours of visits. Throw in the extracurricular classes and opportunities we are trying to provide for her and there's another 2 - 3 hours of activity just for her. Add our five hours on Tuesday nights. It's easy to see that much of our time is getting filled by the "system".

Still, it's all for LG and she's worth it whether it's her time here is temporal or for a lifetime.

To and Through

Three times in a week recently, I saw this quote: "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." I understand it and to some degree, agree. But I also have to say that sometimes it's not "God bringing me TO" anything. In fact, it's me getting my own self into pickles that I simply should have avoided. Still, I know He loves me enough to help me out even when I get my own self in a mess. And the fact is, He is with me the entire time I'm choosing the wrong path or when I unknowingly veer off course. I may not come out unscarred or without bruises...but I'll come out. And that's a promise for us all!

I love that!

Lessons learned while pedaling...

Though it's quite a distant shot, DS 3 and LG are pedaling down our street in this picture. I am pedaling behind them...and shooting the photo (which is a pretty good feat if I do say so myself). Unseen in this photo is DS 4 who was also along for the ride.

We have been working with LG to learn bike riding. DH has run along side her. DS 3 has held her up and taught her balance once she gets started. DS 4 shouts encouragement to her as she makes her attempts to do it all by herself.

Yesterday, we took off to ride around the neighborhood. LG is pretty good once she gets going, but she requires someone to hold the bike steady and give her the starting push to begin.

I started her off yesterday and the three of us followed along. She rode pretty far then hit a stopping point. She didn't fall, but getting started was a chore. We wanted her to learn to do it herself. So we coached from the side while she worked on it. After a few long minutes, she did it! All by herself!

As you would expect from an unsteady rider, there were other stops and starts. And she had a couple of moments of sheer frustration. At one point she announced that she would be "walking her bike back to the house!" I told her "No, you are going to do it. Just take your time and look forward!" She held her hands up and showed me that they were red. I determined that she must have an absolute death grip on the handles! Still, the boys and I reminded her to stop looking at the pedals, loosen the grip and look forward. And gently we nudged her back up on the bike.

Every time I spoke the words, they resonated with me. "Loosen the grip and look forward." I thought, "That's exactly right!" When we are in the midst of a trial. When we can't focus. When we feel whiny and cranky and tired and would rather take an alternate route...perhaps we just need to loosen the grip and look forward.

Soon, LG was able to finish the ride. She rode home a little tired. She was a little sweaty. But she was triumphant. She rode farther than she ever had. She rode alone longer than she ever had. SHE. DID. IT!

The bike ride was refreshing. I enjoyed spending time with the kids. I can't wait until she's even more confident and we can try out some of the bike trails that are around here. But the most important thing that happened for me wasn't the memory making...it was the life lesson that was waiting to gently nudge me home!

Flushing it out...

As I indicated in my last post, I've been in somewhat of a funk lately. Again I want to reiterate that I know that my "issues" pale in comparison to the plight of so many people in the world. Still it's been a rough few weeks. I'm emotionally drained.

Some of you know that I work on our church's Servant Evangelism team. This means that we go out into the community to spread random acts of service and kindness in the name of Jesus. We have done many many different types of outreach here in our community. Saturday, though, was by far the most unique!
After reading about this in Steve Sjogren's book 101 Ways to Reach Your Community, our team decided we wanted to give a "toilet bowl outreach" a try. Yes, you read that right.

Here's the gist of it: You go into a business in the community and tell the employees that you'd like to give them a break today and help out by scrubbing the toilets. Of course, as you might expect, some people say yes and others say no. You NEVER do this AFTER visiting the bathroom first. But you always let the people know that it's our way of saying, "God loves you" and taking an often unwanted task off their hands.

A few weeks ago, at our planning meeting, I thought "yeah, I'm ready for this. Should be a great experience and totally unexpected." Honestly, this morning it was the LEAST and LAST thing that I wanted to do--with the exception of, perhaps, a root canal. I even conjured up excuses to let the participants know that I had to back out.

So, with my van filled with cleaning supplies, I headed off to meet the team. While driving to church, the clash of thoughts were swirling around my head: "I could just bow out. I mean I HAVE purchased all the things and set the teams up for success." "I could tell them that I'll pray for them."

THEN a still small voice whispered "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, SERVE." AND "The best way to get above your circumstance is to bend down and help someone else."

The "Set the example and get out of your comfort zone and beyond yourself" argument won. When I arrived, the team was smaller than expected. A team of four of us set out to local gas stations, convenience stores, and drug stores. What happened next was simply amazing!

Our team had two men and two women. When we asked the managers of the stores if we could give them a break, they were nothing short of blown away! Even those people who said, "No." were quite amazed and glad for the offer. One manager said, "That might be the oddest request I've ever had." Then he said, "Sure...if you want to clean 'em, go ahead."

At least a few times, we were able to tell people waiting on and/or visitng the restrooms what we were doing and why. Even THEY were surprised by this random act of kindness.

After spending a little more than an hour out in the community cleaning, we wrapped up. And, again, I was reminded the joy that comes in service. It's a pleasure to put a smile on people's faces. It's immeasurable in so many ways. We never know when our act of kindness might plant a seed that will grow into full-blown faith for another.

Sjogren says this is his favorite SE activity. He also says that this is the "most rejected" activity they do...yet, because of it's impact they do it again and again.

For me it was SO WORTH IT! My negative spirit was quickly flushed away. And all it took was a few toilet brushes, rags, and cleaners---oh, and a willing spirit!

Where Have I Been?

A few days ago, DS 3 leaned over the couch to me and revealed his laptop. On its screen was my blog. He said, "Let me introduce you to this blog. It's called 'Learning for Lifetime'." To say I bowed my head in shame would be a bit strong....but inside I was churning.

Why haven't I blogged? Life's been a bit hard lately. I feel a bit guilty saying that knowing what people are dealing with in Haiti and in other parts of the world. Cause really my life is quite easy by comparison. I have a great marriage. I have great kids. I have a great job. And most important, I belong to a great God. Still, with all that perspective there have been moments that have been hard. And I haven't wanted to blog.

I thought about it after DS 3's nudge and here's the bottom line. The difficulty doesn't include just me. There are many people that read this blog that know me in real life. I considered protecting my blog so I could really "let it out" with my words. Then I wondered who would that benefit? And the answer was really no one.

I don't want to hide this season in my life...I simply want to protect it. Thus, no words have come.

Until today.

I know I don't have to give a play-by-play of my life to anyone here. I know that I can also say, "life is hard...but God is good." and leave it there. I know that there ARE wonderful things to blog about even in the midst of trials. And I know that somehow blogging is therapeutic for me.

So here I am. It's weird this stopping and starting. You wonder if anyone will notice. I mean shoot one of the joys of blogging is the give and take. It's visiting bloggers and it's people visiting your blog. While I hope there will still be readers, it's really NOT for the readers at all. It's for me. It's for the DS 3's in my world. It's a glimpse into who I am and what I do. Yet I hesitated for weeks to write. Still, each day a small voice inside me (that does not belong to DS 3 or anyone else in my day-to-day world) says "Blog! It's good for you!"

Sooo...here I am. Ready to take a chance again. Ready to discover what this next chapter will bring. Ready to blog....