Remember February...

I think I am going to post this little picture on my bathroom mirror. I need it as a reminder of where I've been.

Without going into all the details...cause they are not all that relevant...I want to say that February was a living nightmare for me. Actually it started around the end of December, escalated through March and April and didn't begin to really subside until May and June.

Like any trial, stuff tries to rear it's ugly head long after the "thick of it" is over. You think "Oh my gosh, here we go again." Or, "I knew it wasn't really over." But the truth is, we often just need to think back to the midst of the trial. For when we can gain that perspective, it makes the little episodes in the here and now a bit more bearable.

I realized this week that it doesn't matter what the trial is, or was, the perspective is everything. For example, years ago when raising toddlers, it might have said, "Remember Sleepless Nights". When they were preschoolers it might have said, "Remember potty training".

Right now my sign would say "Remember February". It's that reminder to look back once-in-a-while to where I've been. It helps me appreciate the beauty and blessing that is in the here and now.

And that kind of perspective is a good thing!

Did you?

I can remember reaching the end of some days in the regular classroom (after staring at 25 kids all day) when I would stop and ask, "Did you say something nice today?" It didn't happen often, but when it did, I'd just had a "cranky one" and I would find myself reflecting on how much of that I'd passed on to those children in my care. Sadly, sometimes my answer was "No, I don't remember many kind words." or "Hmmm...I'm not sure."

Lately I've been drained. Really drained. There are many reasons for this. It's the season of the year where life gets extremely busy for me. I coordinate our state testing at our school site, so it's time to crunch numbers, check and double check materials, and make sure all goes well with this exam. It's also the season where people start planning for the next school year...including job assignments. It looks like mine should stay the same again, but it's always a time of questioning anyway.

Beyond the job, our family has experienced much change in the past few months. LG brings us great joy, but it's still a change having another person around. Having DSs 1 an 2 move out has been a whole different kind of change. We're down to two drivers vs. the three that we had the entire time DS 2 was here at home.

Yesterday, we learned of the death of a person that DH and I went to school with years ago. She was our age (45), the wife of a fellow United Methodist Pastor, and mother to four children (teen - college). She had pneumonia and lost the fight very quickly. Terri was a positive person who loved the Lord. She always had a kind word or a smile for everyone. It's just plain sad.

Yesterday and today it's been on my mind. A lot. When I think about how drained I've been...the familiar question-- "Have you said kind words today?" has entered my mind followed closely by, "Have you laughed and smiled today?"

It's evident to me that these are the things that you leave behind when you go. It's when you've been kind and loving to others that you make an impact. And when you find the time to smile and find joy in life, it is contagious.

So....for you and for me:

Did you say kind words today?

Have you laughed and smiled?

It's time!

{If you're here to see Random Dozen--scroll past this post.}

Today I heard this song.



It's not the first time. In fact, I've known this song since my college days when it was first performed by Benny Hester. I bought the album (in vinyl) because the song spoke to me so much.

The story is timeless. It is the story of The Prodigal's Son (from Luke 15:11-32). The boy gets his inheritance early...squanders it...comes home ready to be a slave on his father's farm...then finds that his father is actually waiting on him by the road and runs out to meet him. Then his father throws a huge "welcome home" party. It's timeless in so many ways. Like the song, I've heard it a hundred times from a hundred angles. But today it spoke to me in a fresh way.

It occurred to me that we generally think of the prodigal as being away for months or even years. And I really think that's pretty clear from Jesus' words that the young man was gone for a while.

But today, as I drove down the street, singing the familiar refrain: "And then he ran to me, took me in his arms, held my head to his chest, said my son has come home again..." I thought about the times in my life when I've had "Prodigal Moments." I'm sure that every single time I've strayed in my walk, God still runs out to meet me when I return to him.

Every. Single. Time.

Then I thought how many times I've had those "Prodigal Moments" and how many times God was waiting with arms wide open.

And I was humbled.

Deeply.

Random Dozen

1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?

I have a "thing" with loud noises. One doctor told me that I probably didn't have nerve endings in my ears. My family just thinks in my "first life" I probably died in the war with cannon fire or something. (Nooooo I don't believe in reincarnation--just throwin' the theories out there!) Anyway, I cannot even be around balloons popping, so gun shooting is absolutely, 100% out of the question!

Now, I HAVE shot a bb gun and an "air rifle" and I am quite an excellent shot with those. This has always made me wonder how I'd do with a bigger, louder gun sans the ear problem of course!

I have fired plenty of arrows. Archery used to be part of our PE classes in our state. We also did it at camp when I was a preteen. I'm not as skilled at that as I am the bb gun and air rifle. (Sheez, after that long answer, you may not even be reading on to the next 11!)

2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are? I didn't until the advent of Facebook. I have reconnected in cyberspace with MANY of them! And I'm TRYING to connect with some in real life....I'm hopeful it will happen in the next---oh---year or five or ten at the rate we're going! ;-)

3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time? This is a VERY funny question for me. I am pretty much a little early to on time most of the time. The BIGGEST argument DH and I had during our dating years was because I was TWO (count 'em ONE-TWO) minutes past when I said I would be for dinner in college. He's MUCH more relaxed these days and I'm much more on time. We balance each other that way!

4. Are you more of a New York or California type? Probably NY, but I don't really know why. I've been to California, but it's not my favorite place at all.

5. Do you have a special ring tone? For those who have stayed with me this far--here's a "brief-answer gift": Nope.

6. What is your favorite type of chip? Hmmmm...that's a good question. I don't really like chips all that much. If I was picking one out, I'd have to say the Ballreich's that my Mother loves. They only sell them in VERY FEW places...so we have to buy out the store when we go to Ohio in order to bring them home to Mom. They do taste different...and I can eat quite a few!

7. Best comedy you've ever seen is ....I HAVE to copy Melli on this one...Menopause the Musical is definitely a roll-on-the-floor-laughing kind of show! If you've never heard my story about seeing this musical the first time, here's the link to it. I still think of this event EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I have seen it...which, by the way, is THREE.

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, "How'd that work for ya?" Yes, yes I have. And, Phil, I'll have to abstain from answering the question of how it worked so as not to incriminate myself.

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self? Most definitely my house. There are so many things I'd love to see done...of course, I remember "Trading Spaces" and I would have to have SOME control over the makeover. To let someone just change my traditional decor to Asian or Art Deco (for example) would NOT be OK with me!

10. Are you allergic to anything? Another brevity gift: NOPE.

11. Why is it so hard to change? My favorite "change quote" is "Nobody likes change except a wet baby." It's hard because it requires doing something different. Even when it's positive it's out of our norm and that means that initially we're out of rhythm. Most positive change is worth the uncomfortable feeling that precedes it, however.

12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, "To love is to be vulnerable." Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you'd like to about this topic. When you love something or someone with your whole heart, then you are at risk of not being loved in return. You risk being hurt deeply. In essence, you put your heart out there for another and ask them to hold it for you. You're vulnerable because it can be painfully broken by the actions and attitudes this sometimes brings. BUT I believe if we never become vulnerable, then we never can fully love anyone or anything. We HAVE to open ourselves up and trust that each moment of love and each heartbreak is what makes us who we are.

OK that was a DEEP question to end this on! Happy last week of February everyone!

Deep Thoughts for a Wednesday....

This morning DS 4, LG and I were on the way to work, DS 4 and I had an interesting conversation:

As we passed under the interstate, DS 4 said, "Mom, you know how homeless people sometimes crawl up in the slope of the bridge and sleep?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "I don't think you could get a peaceful night's sleep like that. I mean it must be so loud. I wonder how many of them go deaf or at least hard of hearing."

I told him that I wasn't sure about that, but I was sure it would be hard to sleep with traffic passing overhead.

Then he said, "I wonder what dreams they had as children. I mean it must be really sad to be homeless and know that they probably dreamed big when they were little."

Yes, son, that is quite sad.

I teared up...not so much because of broken dreams of the homeless...but because this young man has such a heart of compassion!

The song that is making it's way through my heart and mind today is Leeland and Brandon Heath: Follow You.

Leeland - Follow You with special guest Brandon Heath (official video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Tuesday Tid-bits

I know it's Tuesday, but we had yesterday off, so it feels like Monday to me. It was so beautiful outside yesterday, but I didn't really get OUT. I did, however, enjoy the sunshine streaming through my windows.

Here are a few of the thoughts rolling around my head:

--I found myself really thinking about the blessing of being in a marriage that has lasted so long. We talked a bit on Sunday about how long marriages are a reflection of God's love for people. I believe that. And when I really think that I am IN one of those long marriages, it blesses me.

--My DS 3 took a 29 mile bike ride yesterday. He is really enjoying exploring and discovering new places on his bike. And he's getting quite fit in the process. It's fun to watch him do new things.

--His first track meet is this week. He's pole vaulting again and working quite hard at it. I can't wait to go see it!

--I lost a notebook that has some very important paperwork for school. It has me a bit frustrated, but I'm hopeful I'll find it in the next few days. Otherwise, I'm going to have to "fess up" to someone here at school.

--Tonight is class 7 of our ten week foster/adoption class. I am not going to lie, I'll be quite glad when I can have my Tuesday nights back again!

--I am thinking seriously about making a commitment to read some of the "classics" (books) that I have never read. The problem is, I don't really want to add one more "to-do" to my list. Instead, I think I'll consider it a journey that I'm going to take...that way there's no deadline to meet.

Well, that's all from my head right now. Hope you're all having a wonderful week so far.

An Open Letter to Her Mother

{I wrote this note a few days ago before LG received a phone call out of the blue from her Mother last night. It could be written to any Mother with a child who does not live with her. It's kind of my inquiring mind.}

Dear ________,


For some reason, you've been on my mind tonight more than usual. I don't know why. Maybe it's because you called her a few weeks ago, promised to call the very next day, and we still wait. Perhaps it's because the people from visitation called today to set up the appointment for her to see you. Perhaps it's because I really am wondering about you.


You gave birth, not just to her, but to six other children. Seven kids. Ages three to seventeen. For the most part, they have not been with you for any extended period of time. But I have such a hard time believing that you don't think about them.


I just finished helping your little girl with her Valentine's Cards. Tonight I realized that your middle little girl has been in my family for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Valentine's. And, in that time, she's spoken to you on the phone ONE time. Once!


Where is your sense of urgency? I cannot imagine for one second missing the day-to-day happenings of my children's lives. And, honestly, most mothers I know are exactly the same regardless of income, life situations, and/or emotional stability. Do you ever feel the urge to see her? Call her? Do you wonder what she's doing when she's away from you?


I really would like to know.

You see kids love their parents. They are pretty much wired that way. And they extend grace and mercy MUCH quicker than any adult does. She is no different. But each broken promise and each missed event whittles away at her trust. If you say you're going to call, call!

Regardless of what her future holds---or what yours does---she needs it.

Henderson: NOW's take on Tebow ad trivializes real problems

Henderson: NOW's take on Tebow ad trivializes real problems

I have really tried to steer clear of the hype about Tim Tebow's ad with his Mother for Focus on the Family. The truth is, I have friends on both sides of that fence and I don't want to be divisive on my blog--or in my life. I read this article today, however, in one of our local newspapers and thought: "WOW! He's got such a good point!" I couldn't NOT share it.

Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers player Warren Sapp was arrested in Miami this past weekend accused of domestic violence with a girlfriend. It's a story that is all too familiar with sports figures. Whether it's completely true or not, it's downright SAD!

NOW...the NOW organization leader steps in and says this about Tebow's ad: "I am blown away at the celebration of the violence against women in it," she said. "That's what comes across to me even more strongly than the anti-abortion message. I myself am a survivor of domestic violence, and I don't find it charming. I think CBS should be ashamed of itself."

The author of the editorial says that NOW should be demanding that the NFL face this problem and require training for athletes about domestic violence. Then he writes: I'm not going to get into that [abortion issues] debate here, but it's worth noting that prior to the airing of the ad, when NOW was trying to force CBS to keep it off the air, O'Neill told The Associated Press, "That's not being respectful of other people's lives. It is offensive to hold one way out as being a superior way over everybody else's."

Yes, it is.

And to say that Tim and Pam Tebow have glorified violence against women is worse than offensive. It's downright stupid."

And, in my opinion, it doesn't matter whether you support the ad or you don't, stupid is the perfect word!

Are you KIDDING me??

Some things just make me wonder. It's not uncommon for me to get the newspaper, read a headline, and ask "Are you kidding me?"

A couple of days ago, I read the paper and saw where there was a beating at one of our local golf courses. Apparently a 60-something year old man was on the golf course and got hungry. He pulled a grapefruit off of a tree that he passed. The tree, however, belonged to a nearby homeowner who was in his early forties. The homeowner sees this guy eating the grapefruit and comes out and beats him with a golf club!

Are you KIDDING me? If you've ever seen a citrus tree, then you know they produce a LOT of fruit! First of all, it probably wasn't really THAT good cause it's still a little early for citrus and we haven't had a real cold snap. They are much better after that. Secondly, I'm pretty certain there would have been HUNDREDS of grapefruit on the tree.

OK, so I know the guy was trespassing. I know it wasn't "his" tree. But geez. I think this reaction was a bit over the top.

The news of Tiger Woods hitting a fire hydrant or tree, or whatever he hit with his car, has blown my mind. Good grief! If any other Tom, Dick, Harry, or Sally pulled out of their driveway--despite the reason--and damaged a tree/car/hydrant we would not have heard about it. It wouldn't have even mattered if there was domestic violence issue. We STILL most likely would not have heard about it. Yet, the media wants to dig into Tiger's personal life and still keeps the prodding going.

WHEN will people get it? It's not our business! If Tiger needs to replace the hydrant, the tree, or the car...he can.

Then there is the news of senseless, senseless killing sprees! Makes me SICK! Just what is it that makes a man run into a coffee shop and kill four people he doesn't know? I don't get it.

Honestly, I don't read the newspaper everyday. I skim it sometimes. Other times I don't look at all. Most days I'm happy to go about my merry way without really thinking about it. Ignorant? Maybe.

Yet, on those days when I DO read it, there is almost always an article or two that makes me ask the question. The past few days, I've asked it more than normal. Honestly, I find it depressing and disturbing at times...and downright confusing others! Cause, on most days, they're NOT kidding me!

I knew the shooter...

Monday morning we awoke to learn about a horrible shooting of a 16yo student in our city. He was riding his bike in an area known for increased drugs and violence. At 11:15am...broad daylight...he was shot. He ran into the nearest house seeking help and died there.

Sixteen.

That's a time when life is suppsoed to be so wonderful. It's carefree. It's young and energetic. It's full of potential and possibilities.

Yesterday morning the newspaper touted making arrests in the case. I was shocked to see a former student's mug shot staring at me through my computer screen. He wasn't in MY classes, but he was part of our school family. He's 14. Even younger than the dead boy.

Apparently there will be more arrests in this case. Today they are saying the shooting was drug-related.

I don't care what it was related to...it was wrong. This is an example of not one, but two lives, cut drastically short. And it breaks my heart!

I really work in a place where people care deeply for kids. We work hard to help our kids see the possibilities that are available to them. Most of the time, we succeed.

And, as this reminds me, sometimes we don't.

Random Dozen: These are DOOZIES!

1. If you could master one sport, what would it be? Hmmm...I think it would be tennis. I don't know why...I suppose cause mastering it means, to me, that you might look cute in one of those cute little tennis skorts. And honestly, right now that would NOT be true! I guess my second, more real, choice would be some sort of ballroom dancing--which I'm not sure is considered a sport...but I know you have to be fit to do it.

2. When you make a major purchase, do you go with your gut instinct, or do you do research to make an informed decision? Ummm...I'm totally an impulse person. It's a good thing I'm married to DH cause HE is the researcher ad nauseum! But I'm sure it's kept us from getting some lemons and making some poor decisions in our 22 years together.

3. There is an old kids' game that says you can find out what your movie star name would be by using your middle name as your first name and the name of the street you grew up on as your last. What is your movie star name? Michelle East or Michelle River. Our street was called by both names. I like Michelle East better.

4. Would you rather give up your favorite music or your favorite food? FOOD. I LOVE music and think it provides me more nourishment some days than what I put in my mouth!

5. There are two types of banana preferences. One is pristine yellow, almost to the point of being green; the other is spotty and more ripe. Which is your preference? I like 'em yellow with a tinge of green in them still. Once they are spotty, they are good for banana bread (which I thought about this morning cause there are four spotty bananas on my counter).

6. Your favorite tree is? I love the giant old oaks that have a ton of arms. They beckon you to climb them and take a load off!

7. On a scale of 1-10, how tech savvy are you? Hmmm...tech savvy? I use it a lot. I am pretty good at figuring it out. As far as the HOW and WHY it works, not so much. Soooo I'd have to go with a 6.5

8. Has H1N1 touched your family? Yep. DSs 3 & 4 had it right after school started this year. My nieces had it not long ago. No one had it very severe. It was pretty much like your typical flu.

9. Are you an analytical person, or do you just accept things the way they are without questioning or scrutinizing? Wow...I am pretty analytical when you give those two choices. Although putting me and analytical in the same sentence might make some of you spit your drink out with laughter. I DO analyze things...I just usually do it internally.


10. Is your personality more like that of a dog, cat, or Koala? I think I'm more like a cat. I don't know why. I think it's cause I like to do my own thing sometimes. I like alone-time when I can. I love my sleep. When I want attention, though, I'm sure to find it! ;-)

11. Do you keep in touch with friends you made years ago? Thanks to Facebook, I do this more than ever. I was horrible up to that advent. Now I'm doing pretty well with a lot of them.

12. You are checking out at a grocery store. In the express lane, there are more people than the regular lanes, but of course, their load is less than those in the regular lanes. Which lane do you choose (assuming you qualify for the express lane) and why? I will go to the lane with less people...as long as the groceries aren't piled in mountains on the checkout. I do it because invariably there will be someone in the express lane who has a snafu...forgot something...credit card won't work...or something else...and 9 times out of 10 I'm out the door before the last person in the express lane!

"The System"

Ever since the early 90's when DH and I were foster parents the first time, I have been highly aware of "the system". There are procedures in place that are designed to protect children AND families who find themselves entangled within it. Yet, as it is with all systems, there are still flaws.

During the first few years of foster care, DH and I cared for Mallory, a toddler who had been severly malnourished, had never had anything solid, and had little motor control. Under our "watch", she began to eat solid foods--although she still choked at times--and she learned to walk.

In the Fall of 1992, the department had determined that they were ready to sever the parental rights of Mallory's parents. We were set to become the adoptive family for this precious little girl. In early November, just weeks before the paperwork was to be completed, a grandparent showed up out of what felt like nowhere!

In a matter of days, she completed a home study in North Carolina (her state of residence) and showed up in Florida to claim "her little girl"! To say we were reeling would be a significant understatement. We knew, though, that it is almost always the goal of the "system" to keep children within their blood families when it's possible to do so. Still, Mallory had never met this person and had no formal connections with her. There was limited background information and no social history completed.

We didn't feel right about it. I wasn't there when Grandma showed up to take our precious little girl away. DH had to meet her at a local Motel 6 to hand her over. It was there, in the place where they "leave the lights on for you" that the light seemed to go out for this child.

DH will tell you that he still remembers the look in our little girl's eyes as she was suddenly in the arms of a total stranger! Although it may be judgmental on my part, I still don't think Mallory was put in the best possible scenerio for her. In fact, we have no way of knowing what her life became. We only pray that she is a happy young lady today and that somehow she rose above what appeared to be her lot in life.

Today, the procedures seem a little bit "tighter", but we have still seen families lose children to out of state relatives in a blink of an eye with what I deem as low standards. We are realists. We have been there and know that this is still very much a possibility for any child who is a ward of the state.

So here we are, almost 20 years later involved in the same system. People have told me they don't know "how we can do it". They wonder "how you ever let them go". The truth is, it doesn't get any easier...but we have to trust that while a child is in care that we are making a difference in their life. We offer stability and nurture where there has been little or none. We offer love where love is often distorted or non-existent. Even if it's only for a moment in time.

As I watch LG sleep at night and I listen to her laugh and play as a little girl should during the day, I am certain that I don't know exactly what her future holds. Should the day come that she needs a forever family, I pray that we are able to fill that role. In the meantime, we take each day as it comes. We offer life, love, and laughter and stability in the moment.

And we pray that the system that is designed to protect this child works and is flawless this time!

Three Tragedies in a Week

If I were to take a more positive tone with this title, I would probably name it "Life is Precious". Every once in a while events happen that make you think just how fragile life on earth really is. This has been one of those weeks for me.

On Tuesday we learned that a co-worker's husband had suddenly passed away during a hospital procedure. He wasn't sick. He had some swelling over the weekend and was in the hospital to be checked out. It was quick and completely unexpected.

Yesterday we received an update on another colleague that has been out for a few weeks now. Initially we heard that she was going to have "back surgery". Then we heard things were "not good". Now we found out that she is in stage 4 cancer and has been moved into a Hospice house.

Then last night I came home to learn more about the Ft. Hood massacre.

Life is precious. When I reflect on these lives, the two I know/knew and those I don't, I immediately think about faith. I only know these people on an acquaintance/collegial level. I really know nothing at all about what's inside. I don't know what they believe or don't believe.

I am certain that my faith is what would sustain me through a difficult time such as this. And I know that God cares for those who have lost a husband, father, grandfather. He also cares deeply for those who are in the final stages of life. And He loves each person that witnessed, was injured, and/or died in the horrible tragedy on an army base yesterday.

My prayer is that somehow, in these days of change, that He will be revealed to each of these people in some tangible way. And, my prayer also is that if I can somehow reach out and share that love, that I will. Because one thing is for sure, a missed opportunity could only add to the tragedies!

Random Dozen #5: A TOUGH one for me!

1. On an average, how often do you splurge and buy something for yourself? I used to do it far more often than I do now. I would say maybe once every other month now. I used to have what I called "Be Nice to Susan" days. These were days I'd go to the mall and just buy something new or take myself to dinner or some other kindness I "thought" I deserved. I have realized though that the satisfaction from this sort of thing is rather short-lived. In his book "Intelligence for Your Life" John Tesh discusses this in great detail. I shared it on my blog when I reviewed this book:

"Money "cannot buy happiness"...but actually, it CAN. The thing is, the dopamine (happiness hormone) that is released when we purchase things is short-lived. At the most, big purchases (house, car) can last about 3 months. Then it's GONE. But, Tesh reveals, scientists and therapists have found that money can buy sustained happiness when it's used to purchase "experiences". He writes: "it's the experiences--the memories--that give lasting happiness, not the fanciness of the experiences." I love that."

2. Are you more like Hall or Oates? Just kidding. Real question: What is the last creative project you began/finished? Feel free to post a pic of it. I'm so SAD to say that the last creative project I began AND finished was my scrapbook of DH's and my Alaska trip. I'll try and post a picture of it if my camera is cooperating.

3. OK, Goldie Locks, do you consider your house too big, too little or juuuust right? OK, I know it's more than "just right"...but there are days when I absolutely would love to have ONE more room or ONE more space in it. Yet, I know that my house is a space that is a blessing to us and I try not to think about what "more" I want, but to be thankful for what I have. (This goes along with the happiness question for me... because I often think "If I only had so-and-so's house, I'd be more satisfied.")

4. What is your favorite outdoor chore? Ewwww....NONE! OK I suppose if I had to pick one it'd be decorating for the holidays. I love getting the outside all ready for the celebrations that are coming.

5. If you knew that cigarette smoking was not bad for your health but would be a weight loss tool, would you use it? Why or why not? Probably if it were not bad for my health. Although it really DOES smell horrible. This is an interesting question, Linda....I guess my gut reaction is "yes"...but then I start thinking about all the "yuck-factor" for me and I think the answer is probably "no".

6. On a road trip, would you rather drive or ride? 100% of the time, I am happier when I'm the driver! I love to drive and sing and laugh and see the sights all at once!!

7. What do you consider a trivial pursuit? Wow. I'd say the pursuit of things that are self-promoting. I don't know if that's really considered "trivial" or just annoying to me!

8. This weekend, we downloaded the movie "Duplicity" with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Within 5 minutes, I was bored and annoyed, but I kept watching 5-10 minutes at a time hoping it would get better between small chores. I finally gave up and Jorge watched it alone, and then regretted wasting that time because he disliked it intensely, too. So ... how long do you watch a movie or read a book before giving up on it? I rarely give up on a movie, but if I did, it'd be within the first thirty minutes. A book? I have abandoned it in about three chapters unless I am going on someone's review of it. Usually I'll press through it if I respect the reader and his/her opinion.

9. Is there a song that you really love but are embarrassed to admit because it's not cool or it's racy or because it's by Hall and Oates? I'd have to say that this question is quite interesting because I LOVE so much music! Hmmm...I have some very southern gospel stuff in my car that my kids would die if I put in the player. I suppose the other thing that comes to my mind is at the other end of the spectrum...there are some songs I like that would probably shock my kids like Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back". Is that sick? From Southern Gospel to Rap??


10. On a scale of 1-10 (10 = extremely) how spontaneous are you? Funny, DH and I were just talking about this the other day. I used to be a nine or a ten. Now, not so much. I think there are several contributing factors: age, life circumstances, responsibility, etc. But I have to say I miss it. In so many ways I want to be that girl would drop everything at the spur of the moment to go on an adventure. I'm really not sure she's in there much anymore.

11. Are you a food and/or beverage snob? Um only if you consider Diet Coke a snobbish beverage.

12. Who/What are you trying to control in your life? (I hear people gulping and see them sweating in anticipation of how to answer this one.) Without a doubt this is the hardest question! It really makes me have to be raw. I try to control a lot of stuff. I am a control-FREAK. It's not good. It's not healthy. It's something I am working on...but I have a LOONNGGGG way to go. So, control? I'm trying to control my need to control without spiraling out of control! How's that for honest??

In the nick of time...

I NEEDED this today. I hope it encourages you too.

Hot Dog, It's Tuesday!

One glance at my bloglist tells me I should have considered doing a "Tuesday Meme". There are several of them out there. I almost gave in, but I really wanted to share our Sunday beach experience. Once again, I reminded myself there is no need to conform and I can just be "Me" right here.

As many of you know, our church has quite an active outreach program. It's rather "low key" as it's simply being out in the community being, doing, and giving random acts of kindness to others. When people ask "Why?" or "Is this really FREE?" We say, "Yes, it's free, it's our way of saying God loves you." And that's it. No pressure. No strings attached. Just a gift.

This past Sunday we took part in our second beach hot dog give away. Our first one was two months ago almost to the day. It wasn't without some fun as we had to weather quite a storm upon our arrival there.

We DO live in south Florida, which does have a pretty tropical climate. This means that a storm can pop up at almost any time in the afternoon. It also means that it really only lasts for a few minutes most of the time. This Sunday the weather fell right in line.

Here are some of our pictures:

The team set up at the picnic tables under the trees. We had 400 hot dogs to cook! The storm rolled in and literally to the left of us it looked like the first picture below and the next picture shows what it looked like if you simply turned a little bit!

Though the storms came, we were able to keep everything (except our people) dry! Twenty minutes after it rained, the team hit the beach and surprised people with this simple act of kindness!


DS 3 and I were talking and laughing about it and he said, "I'm pretty sure Satan sits around and thinks, 'Hmmm...that church is going out again...what can I do to try and stop them?'" I don't know if it's that extreme, but I do know that there is a very important lesson here that is summed up in a new Need to Breathe Song--"Even when the rain falls, even when the flood starts rising, even when the storm comes, I am washed by the water..."

Here's their new video which has a MUCH deeper message than enduring a little rain at a church outreach event!!

Sunday--FUNday!

Another week comes to an end. Or is Sunday the beginning for you? Honestly, I know it comes at the front side of all my calendars, but I think of it as the end of the week. Maybe that's because I work on Monday. I don't know.

Either way I love Sunday. It is the day we go to church and worship. It is often a day of family and laughter. Today it will be a day of all of these. We are headed to church this morning. After that, we are headed to our local beach to give away free hotdogs, chips and cold water. This is part of our servant evangelism here in our city. When people ask WHY it's free? We say, "Its our way of saying God loves you!" Sometimes that is the end of the interaction and others it opens up the door for some excellent conversation.

In other parts of my brain I have been so reflective this past week. I don't know if it's just one of those times when I am a bit melancholy or what. It could even be the fact that we've read and heard about some families in our area experiencing some tragic losses. Whatever the impetus, I think it's good to stop and really count our blessings. As I do that, I realize that my needs really are very few and my "wants" become so minor in the face of all I have.

By way of updates:

• DS 1 got to attend the UofF and UT football game yesterday. I think it was his first time. I'm sure he had a great time.
• DS 2 played Ultimate Frisbee yesterday for one of the state teams. They will now go to sectionals in Atlanta.
• DS 3 is planning to be in his school's airband competition. Thank goodness they are no longer planning to perform Vanilla Ice's "Ice, Ice Baby". Can't reveal what they ARE going to do.
• DS 4 was pricing out an Escalade Hybrid yesterday...yes, you read that right. He's still my dreamer...and, at 10yo, thinks that he could have one when he's 16. Whatever!?!
• DH is planning his next round of consulting. It's going to be pretty extensive. I'm so glad he is able to continue doing what he loves.
• I had an opportunity to really get out and surf some new blogs yesterday. I haven't done that in forever. It's such a blessing to meet and discover new bloggers!

That's pretty much it from my neck of the woods! Happy Sunday everyone!

Thinking Out Loud Thursday

I've decided that today I just need to think out loud. Well, somewhat out loud, cause it's here on my keyboard that I'm thinking. Here goes:

* Data entry is not my favorite thing to do. I would have never signed up for such a job given the choice. Yet, this is EXACTLY what I have been doing for the last couple of days. It's not the end of the world, but I keep thinking about the "trickle down". The REASON I am having to do data entry at school is because some upload somewhere didn't go as planned, so now I am putting lost student information into the computer. All I hear is the wisdom of my Father (paraphrased by me): "A problem on someone else's end should NOT cause a problem on my end." Apparently sometimes it does!

* Social networking has been heavy on my mind this week. I have some friends in my social networks who are choosing to be rather bold in status updates/tweets. If you are a professional, I simply don't think your status updates should be negative about your job, your co-workers, or the people you serve as customers. No wonder employers are checking these things out before they hire!

* I work with a lot of kids who are from a very low socio-economic status. They are from homes where food is limited. Some only get a "good" meal here at school. You may remember my PBJ rant of a couple of years ago. This week I'm on a new rant. Here's a snippet of the email I sent to the director of food service:

My concern regards food availability for our kids.... I can only imagine that preparing and planning menus for school cafeterias must be a logistical nightmare at times. I guess I am also of the belief, however, that running completely out of something that is on the county menu should not be a regular occurrence at any school. And, right or wrong, I simply don’t think it should EVER happen at a Title I school where 75% of the students receive free/reduced lunch! ...

With 25 classes served, and 19 classes remaining to be served today, we are out of not one, but TWO main items on the menu? And we are down to one vegetable choice? I find that unacceptable! Not to mention that a child with dairy issues would have been "stuck" with peanut butter and jelly as their only main dish option.

* I know I'm never gonna' change the world to the way I wish it would be. Still, I can try! Maybe it'll make a difference for someone somewhere.

Thursday Thoughts

DH is home after an 18-day work trip. We're glad he's here.

I read this quote today and I thought it was what I needed:

"Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wonder how much of my life HAS been wasted while I've sat in doubt or coward in fear? It's true that step by step and inch by inch we have to move forward and do the "right thing" in the moment. I would add, though, when we mess up--that's when we have to accept the grace that is extended to us.

Perception Perspective

I think that the concept of perception and perspective is quite interesting. Have you ever been around someone for the same "event" and then heard them describe it totally different than you would? Years ago I had a friend who always saw things much bigger than they were.

There were people mad at the church and her words would be, "Everyone's saying __________." Reality was there were one or two people that she knew saying something and suddenly it felt, to her, like EVERYONE was doing it. Or she'd proclaim "NO ONE wants to _________." And I'd ask who didn't want to ________. She'd respond with a small list of names. At first I thought she really was "off". As our friendship went on, I realized that this truly WAS her perception.

And, for most people, their perception is their reality.

I've been thinking about a situation that I've witnessed recently where my perspective tells me one thing, but someone else's perception is totally different. From my vantage point, it's easy to see that they (sorry for this usage of "they", I am choosing NOT to be gender specific here) have made choices that have caused the events that have happened around them. But in their mind, "everyone's picking on them" or "choosing to be negative" or "rejecting this person" or whatever the issue of the day happens to be.

I don't know how you change someone's perception. I don't know how you help them see the world through different eyes. Different heart. Different soul. With my friend I used to reflect back when she'd use those absolute words like everyone, noone and everything. I'd ask "how many?" "Who?" And often she'd start to see that perhaps she was making things bigger than they were.

My Bible reading has been WAY off kilter for some time. Part of my time this summer has been to get a grip on it once again. And, though I find it a bit odd, I've been hovering in the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah, as you may know, is sometimes called "the weeping prophet". The message that he had to deliver to Israel wasn't a happy one. He had to tell them they were wayward, they were off track...their perception: that all was OK and that they were living ok and making right choices and life was fine...was seriously off.

And they didn't listen. Jeremiah delivered this word for FORTY years! He faced opposition. He was thrown in jail. Again and again, he would speak truth to the people and again and again they would refuse to respond to it.

So it is with perception sometimes. I think it's our job, in some moments, to help people see the truth. It's hard because sometimes it hurts. And it's also our job to check our perception against what is really happening too. It's our job to say, "This is what I THINK I feel, see, hear, touch, perceive."

Still, the words of God speaking to Jeremiah are quite a comfort when we consider those "off moments". God continued to say "I have loved you wtih an everlasting love. I have drawn you with lovingkindness." (Jer. 31:3) It doesn't matter where you've been, what you've done, or anything else....GOD LOVES YOU and me with an EVERLASTING love. It is there whether we're in a pit or on a mountain. And, that my friends, is REALITY!