Where Have We Been??

Two weeks ago today we left on vacation. Here's a little photo synopsis of what we did:

First, we headed to Indiana to see my friend Suzi. On the way to Atlanta, DS 3, DS 4 and LG and I stopped in Mammoth Cave, KY to explore a bit. It was LG's first time in a cave and the boys don't really remember going into this one several years ago. We had a GREAT time taking pics and enjoying this amazing site.

After Mammoth Cave, it was up to Lebanon, IN for several days. We love the small town flavor of Suzi's sweet town...but it's also quite accessible to some very FUN places. While there we visited the Children's Museum one day. This museum is absolutely incredible. Here is DS 4 preparing a rock climb. Here's LG playing in the Barbie exhibit...
And here's DS 3 doing his best Ken impression:
Then we took a trip to Chicago and on the way stopped at Fair Oaks Farm...a FABULOUS educational dairy farm where we actually watched a calf being born and learned about this intricate system...We played a lot too!

Here is DS 3 and LG with Suzi's son, W. They are "overseeing" the play area.
Here is DS 3 taking a turn playing when he really shouldn't be! Come on, J, don't you think you're a bit big for this tractor??? Maybe he's just foreshadowing what he'd like to drive in a few weeks when he turns 16...I'm thinkin' John Deere green looks good on him!
And here's DS 4 enjoying the jumping thing that resembles an inverted moon bounce! I cannot show the pic of me falling off this very same jumping thing into the rocks much to the amusement of my DS 3. Nope. Nor can I show the picture of me unable to stand up on the thing while DS 3 jumped and threw me up in the air!

Then it was off to Chicago....my VERY FAVORITE city!! The kids had never been there before and I'm telling ya, we jam packed our 24 hour visit with SO MUCH of the city.

In no particular order...

We rode the ferris wheel at Navy Pier. OK DSs 3, 4, LG and I did. Suzi and W stayed on the ground.


LG and I spent a morning in American Girl getting all the pampering that we could for LG and her doll.
We took a carriage ride through the city at night.
And, of course, we went to the top of the John Hancock Building AFTER eating at Ed Debevic's with Suzi's friend Dr. Beth.

After taking this whirlwind trip, the kids and I had to prepare to head over to Ohio for "vacation part II". I'll share that in a later post.

Don't Fence Me In...

Today I am meeting with our new Principal. We have met briefly, but haven't really sat and talked yet. I had some things I wanted to prepare for that meeting, so yesterday I took the time to really dig in and get those things in order at work.

Most of the time, "normal" people park in the parking lot. On Summer days, and times when there are no kids on campus, some of us who work in portable classrooms pull our cars right around to our doors. Knowing that I also wanted to fill my car with boxes to pack up my kitchen in prep for the re-do, I pulled my car behind the cafeteria and through the field around to my classroom. That was around 10:00am.

Because I wanted to stay somewhat incognito, I didn't tell anyone I was there. I worked all day. It was quiet and peaceful and I really got a lot done. I looked up at the clock at one point and realized that it was 4:00. I called the office to let the AP know I was there and ask what time the building actually closed. She told me 5 or 6. So I started to wrap up. At 4:50 I packed the car and left.

When I arrived at the back side of the cafeteria, the gate that I had to drive through was LOCKED! I didn't totally panic because I could see cars still. I called the front office on my cell phone. No answer. Mild heart palpitations. I called my AP's cell phone. No answer. BIGGER heartbeats. Surely she didn't leave early. I called my FIL to pick up LG at Dance Camp because I was "locked up". It gave him a good chuckle!

Suddenly my phone rang. The AP said, "I'm sorry, I was on the phone." I told her my predicament and asked her if she would call the custodians to open the gate. First she laughed. Hard. Then she called them.

Now the head custodian LOVED coming out and seeing my locked in face! She laughed and said, "Girl, you supposed to be on vacation!" She's right. She unlocked the gate. I promised to let her know that my car was around there next time. And we exchanged cell phone numbers as she scolded me for coming to work on my time off amid some "Serves you right" talk.

I know. I know.

I love the summer. I love having days off. I also love having the freedom to go to school if I want to and work a bit. It's that freedom to come and go as you want that feels so good. Well...that is, unless you find that you're fenced in! Then it makes you stop and do a double take. And for a brief moment you wonder if you should be there at all.

The answer, for me, is "yes". I love that place. I love what I do. I love the people I work with. And I love preparing for a new year at a slow easy pace that summer brings...unless it's 5:00 and the fence is closed!

OK Everybody, FALL IN!

This afternoon we got word that LG is one step closer to being ours forever. We were waiting for one more paper to be signed before we can begin our process with a great deal of certainty. Today it happened. I had her out and said, "I think Dad needs to take us out to celebrate tonight. And I think it needs to be a nice dinner where we can get dressed up." It didn't take her long to chime in and agree. (This picture is not from tonight, but I thought you'd be able to see the big brown eyes that were about to ask a Daddy for something.)

When we arrived home, she quickly announced to DH that she and I had something to ask him. He knew it was trouble from that moment! She asked me to start. So I said, "LG and I think we need to celebrate the fact that she's so close to being able to be adopted into our family." She continued, "And so we need to go out to a FANCY dinner. And you have to take us!"

He said, "Who's idea was this?" And she said, "Well....Mom thought of it and I just fell in it!"

HUH!?!? She "fell in it"???? I laughed so hard! That girl cracks me up.

Then he said, "Well, where do YOU think we should go that's fancy?" She said, "Golden Corral". Let me tell ya' the Golden Corral is NOT fancy...but where LG has spent most of her life, it IS a fancy restaurant. So we chuckled a bit and said we wanted to up the ante a bit (ok a LOT). So then she tells DH that she wants something "Da Ru Ma-ish". Let me explain. This is the name of one of our Japanese steakhouses where we spent Valentine's Day dinner. I just thought it was funny that she added the "ish" to her description.

Anyway, DH settled on The Melting Pot, which we LOVE! LG had no idea what to expect but loved each course and the whole experience!

Let me tell you...

DH suggested it and she "fell in it"...that's for certain!

The children are nestled all snug in their....

I know it's the wrong season for that, but that's how I feel tonight. Today I took DS 4 to church camp for the first time. He's never been away from us for a week when he wasn't staying with an extended family member. So this is a new experience for him (and for me).

It was interesting because it was a little like trying to separate a spider web from your body after walking through it! I took him and his friend Matt up and got them all signed in and ready to go. We made their beds. I unpacked their clothes. I told them "goodbye" and DS 4 wasn't quite ready for me to go.

We walked back to the common area and he hooked up with some other kids playing four square and then basketball. Then he was happy as a clam to let me go! Now I just pray that all is well tonight and the remainder of the week for him.

DS 1 is away at 2 weeks of training with the Army. Of course, he isn't living here right now, so his absence isn't felt as much. He does, however, text with DH quite a bit when he's not out training. So we'll still miss him.

DS 2 is at school finishing up some summer classes. He, too, is primarily a "texter". I'm sure we'll hear from him as the week progresses.

DS 3 left this morning with 24 or so other kids and chaperones to go to Daytona Beach for Student Life Camp. He will have the pleasure of sitting under the teaching of Louie Giglio and the worship of Chris Tomlin for the entire week. Last night he announced to us rather matter of fact that he has finished reading the Bible. Can I just say that he started around Sept. or Oct??? I haven't even done that. He is an amazing kid and I'm so proud of him.

Of course, I'm proud of all of them!

LG is doing dance camp for another week. This will be her fourth week in a row. She loves it!

This means that my days will be quiet and uncluttered. It'll be a week to recharge my parenting batteries. I love that!

Saturday, I will leave with my brother and three of the kids (DSs 3, 4, and LG) to head to Indiana/Illinois and Ohio. It'll be a great trip as we meet the rest of my family in Ohio for my Grandmother's 90th birthday celebration.

I love my kids and my family more than I could ever say...but I know that we are better parents when we take the time to breathe and relax occasionally. So I'm going to enjoy the peaceful moments that I know this week will bring.

Some things I'm learning with the onset of "Pink"...

LG has been with us now for 9 months. Interesting that she's been here the same amount of time that it would have taken for us to actually HAVE a baby (not that I want to do that!). Much like the days when DH and I were preparing for our firstborn, we have learned. Some lessons have been "system based" as we deal with the child welfare system. Some lessons have been "upbringing based" as we have noted the differences between her family practices and ours. And other lessons have been "pink vs. blue" based as we've ventured into the world of little girls when we've previously raised four young men.

Here are some of the "pink lessons" I've learned over the past few months:

LG is more "hair focused" than the boys ever were. The boys "might" look at it one time before they are out the door. LG looks at it in the morning, styles it how she THINKS she wants to wear it. And it's highly likely that it'll take on one or more transformations before we're out the door! It's almost a sure thing that it will never look the same in the afternoon as it did when she first went outside in the morning.

Girls giggle. A lot. Boys laugh, they belch, and they make various other noises with their bodies. Girls are simply giggly. I love their sweet little giggles.

My boys tended to go from one activity to another in the blink of an eye. They could plow through "things to do" faster than racehorses. Girls linger. At least mine does.

Boys get "caught" acting out and pretending. When they do, they can often be found pulling their heads into their shell a la the tortoise. Girls perform. They love an audience and thrive on the applause and kudos that is sure to follow their dance, song, or play.

Girls play in their Mother's make-up and products. I remember the boys doing this once in a great while and we'd laugh hard. LG is in my stuff almost regularly. It's not uncommon for me to see evidence that she's been exploring again after she's been in the bathroom.

They are aware when their bodies make little changes. LG is not afraid to ask about them either. We've already had some talks with LG that we didn't have to have with the boys.

Little girls LOVE their Daddies! Yesterday I came home and found LG sleeping in DH's lap. She's no small little thing, but there she was curled up with him on the couch. In some ways it appears lumbering and over-sized for him. But in so many ways, it's a perfect fit!

Girls know how to saunter through a store. LG takes it all in and enjoys the moments wandering the aisles. The boys go with a goal in mind...get in/get what you need/get out.

I am well aware that girls don't always fit every stereotype and some may be different than my LG, but it's been fun to learn the "pink lessons". I'm sure it's only the tip of the iceberg for what's in store.

DH and I figured out that by the time she is ready to leave our nest, we will have been raising kids for 35 years! 35 years! I'm thankful for each and every season that this child-rearing journey has brought upon us. From blue to pink and everything in between--it's a joy to parent five terrific kids and to learn the lessons they teach us every day!

Book Review: Mennonite in a Little Black Dress

{Note: To those who limit yourselves to only Christian fiction and/or nonfiction, this book may not be one you'd like to read.}

I have finished reading this little gem of a memoir that I picked up on a recent run through Target. The title caught my eye and the back cover blurb sealed the fate of the book to end up in my cart headed to the checkout line!

The back cover blurb reads:

Not long after Rhoda Janzen turned forty, her world turned upside down. It was bad enough that her husband of fifteen years left her for Bob, a guy he met on Gay.com, but that same week a car accident left her injured. Needing a place to rest and pick up the pieces of her life, Rhoda packed her bags, crossed the country, and returned to her quirky Mennonite family's home, where she was welcomed back with open arms and offbeat advice. (Rhoda's good-natured mother suggested she get over her heartbreak by dating her first cousin—he owned a tractor, see.)

Written with wry humor and huge personality—and tackling faith, love, family, and aging—Mennonite in a Little Black Dress is an immensely moving memoir of healing, certain to touch anyone who has ever had to look homeward in order to move ahead.

As I have shared in many of my book reviews, memoir is one of my favorite genres. I am drawn to it for some unknown reason. In this case, I could also add that I have an odd fascination with the Amish community and am thus also interested in hearing about the "break-off" group, the Mennonites. Jantzen notes that the Amish broke away from the Mennonites because they were too liberal. She writes, "A liberal Mennonite is an oxymoron if there ever was one."

The back cover is only a slightly pulled back curtain of the humor and truth that is found throughout this book. Here are some of my favorites:

Jantzen shares a bit about carrying lunch boxes to Elementary School filled with "Shame-Based Foods" (a phrase coined by she and her younger sister, Hannah). I'll not go into each of them, suffice it to say that Borscht is one, however. I laughed out loud, though when Rhoda writes about long-suffering complaints about her lunchpail. She notes that most children had Aquaman or Underdog on their pails. She secretly wished that a "Josie and the Pussycats lunchbox could have rescued her from the pit of uncoolness." She continues: "I figured that Josie and the Pussycats would magically make up for knee-length homemade skirts or the blonde tails braided with neurotic precision, like Heidi on crack." Instead Jantzen had to carry a navy vinyl bag with a long strap, which she asserts was a diaper bag. She claims this experience explains her interest in Prada today!

Throughout the book Jantzen shares her Mother with the reader. The New York Times Book Reviewer notes that Jantzen's mother, Mary, welcomes her divorced, broken-boned, nonreligious, academic daughter back with open arms, without judgment, castigation or undue coddling. She sings endless songs, each odder and funnier than the last, fills a freezer with mini-jars of strawberry jam to take to the elderly and suggests calmly, in line one day at Circuit City, that Janzen should marry her cousin Waldemar, who it happens is also a professor. (“Wally is my first cousin,” Janzen reminds her. “That’s both incestuous and illegal.” The women then engage in a conversation about the relative merits of marrying a pothead versus a man with a tractor.)" This is a lady I would love to meet. Shoot I'd love to taste some of her homemade jelly (in the little jars)!

I loved her response when Rhoda asked her Mother about whether she thinks it odd that her sons seem more conservative than she and Jantzen's father. Her Mom replies: "Oh, they'll mellow over time. When you're young, faith is often a matter of rules. When you should do and shouldn't do, that kind of thing. but as you get older, you realize that faith is really a matter of relationship--with God, with the people around you, with the members of your community." And to that, this reader would shout a hearty "AMEN!"

This book is by no means a "faith-based" memoir. It does not hint of Jantzen's glorious return to the faith of her father/mother. Jantzen even applied for seminary at one point in her academic career. Instead it's a gentle story of love and acceptance for her journey. She's raw. She's honest. I like that.

I love Jantzen's recollection of a phone conversation with her friend Alba shortly after her OCD husband left her. She was returning a bottle of olive oil to its place in the kitchen and had to replace it with the front facing sideways. She found herself reaching over to straighten the bottle and make it match the other bottles near it. She writes, "Personally, I didn't care whether the front of the bottle was ninety degrees skewed. It was Nick who would have cared. And Nick wasn't there. I experimentally turned the bottle sideways again, to see how it felt to defy my husband's rage for order. Then I stared at the sideways bottle in brief but silent agitation." This is when she realizes that "Fifteen years [of marriage] cannot be rotated a quarter-turn to the left, just like that."

This book is well worth the time to read it. I have to be honest, though, Jantzen uses a rich vocabulary that occasionally gave me pause. In fact, while writing this review my husband came out to see if I was "looking up word meanings." I had reported to him earlier that I felt as though there were times I needed a dictionary by my side to really read and comprehend. Despite stretching my vocabulary, this book is beautifully written, very funny, and simply enjoyable from cover to cover!

Book Review: Laughing in the Dark

Almost one month ago, I went with my friends to hear Chonda Pierce. Chonda is a Christian comedian who has shared her story in many different venues over the year. She is currently working on a project in LA where they will be putting her material on regular TV. She can make you laugh one minute and cry your eyes out the next.

While there, I was moved to pick up her book, Laughing in the Dark which recounts her breakdown and battle with depression.

I was reading along page to page thinking how cool it is that Chonda has overcome so much "junk" and that she's forward enough to share her story with others, when I was nailed between the eyes with a part that made me squirm. Really squirm.

Chonda is writing about seeing a psychiatrist to revisit her meds. She is literally in the middle of the entire diagnosis and treatment period when this happens. The doctor starts to ask her about her work schedule. Chonda tells him that she's off work right now, but mentions that she just finished an 85-city tour (in 8 months) with Women of Faith. And that she is helping care for her Mother who had just suffered a broken back. And that she is finishing up a book. And a DVD. And...and...and.

Chonda's question back to the doctor was: "Do you think I'm bipolar?" He went on to explain that she needed to strike balance especially with the "mania of her job and the reality of normal life." Balance.

Her counselor also addressed the need for balance. She told Chonda that part of her treatment is to spend about three hours a day doing nothing. Nothing. Nada. Not an email. Not a crossword puzzle. Not TV. Not cleaning. Not a phone call. Nothing.

Both the doctor and the counselor knew that Chonda needed to realize that her worth is not dependent who she is/what she does and/or the approval of those around her. I actually found myself squirming while I read this. Not that I think I am as busy as Chonda Pierce. I'm not. But I definitely wrestle with balance and those moments of sheer exhaustion. And honestly, sometimes I'm not sure I could go three minutes doing nothing--much less three hours!

I read on as Chonda peeled back the layers of her own life for her readers. I know she still struggles with the puzzle that is her life. But she also recognizes that God, himself, is the "master puzzler". And Chonda is choosing to trust him for every step she takes.

Whether you've ever dealt with depression or not, this book is a great read. Chonda's story is one of survival and victory. Hers is one of finding light in the darkness. It's one of healing. And hope. Even if you squirm while reading it...it's worth it!

A Weekend Recap...

So, here's my DS 3 sans a lot of hair! He got it cut on Friday and decided to go ahead and go short. I like it very much. He's practicing his "chicken-neck" model pose here.

He, LG and I headed up to my hometown on Saturday for a little July 4th fun. It was great seeing the parade and enjoying the hometown feel of celebration.

We met my brother, SIL and their kids along with the grandparents and headed up to the golf course to stake out our seats.

It was fun to watch LG enjoy the parade. It's

not the first parade she's ever attended, but I am pretty sure it's the first fourth of July parade she's ever attended.

We had fun buying matching shirts to wear and preparing for the day. She helped me make pasta salad, strawberry pretzel dessert, beer bread and artichoke/ranch squares to take up there.

It was also fun seeing people that I haven't seen in years. And some I've seen but known for what seems like forever.

Here's one example...Keven, aka Uncle Sam, and

I have known each other since we were 4 years old.

We met in 1968 when we moved to the area. We lived only a few doors apart from his family. One of my early memories of Keven and his family is of his Dad, who's now gone, dressing up like Uncle Sam at the annual July 4th festivities.

I think it's neat that Keven is carrying on the tradition started so many years ago.

My Mom still lives in the area, as do my Dad and Stepmom. This is how I keep up-to-date with the goings on there.

After the kids caught all the beads they could handle (and then some) and bagged up their candy prizes, we headed back to my Dad's for a little swimming, food and relaxing until the fireworks.

DS 1 and DH came up and joined us for food. It was fun having DS 1 there since he hasn't really been around the entire family since Christmas! He has been home for the week and I've loved having him here.

When we headed out to the fireworks, I had to find somewhere I could watch them from the car. I cannot handle the loud noises. It's pretty embarrassing being 45 and sitting with your ears

plugged! So we parked ourselves on the golf course and were able to see them perfectly!

In fact, here's a shot that DS 3 got from INSIDE the car while we watched:

It was a perfect ending to a very fun day!

Planning for Balance

By nature, I am not a planner. I've learned to be, and become, less spontaneous over the years thanks to my DH. I CAN plan when I need to. And some people might be surprised to hear me say that I'm not a planner by nature.

When I married my DH, it was obvious that he is our financial guru. I don't want to have to worry about it. I trust him implicitly with this task in our marriage. So over the years he's done it for us and done it well.

While he does the day-to-day finances, I am particularly referring to those long term financial decisions that every couple should be making. It's been hard for me in my 20's, 30's and 40's to be thinking about our retirement. DH loves it though.

Recently he's been meeting with a financial planner and making some decisions about our future. It's interesting to note that he started meeting with us more than 18 years ago when we were newlywed and poor and really had little or nothing to plan WITH!

As they've revisited our plans, DH has kept me in the loop---even when I only listen with one ear! He's asked me if I want to sit down with them. I don't. He's asked me if I care if he plans one way or another. I don't. (This is primarily because I know he's not going to do anything crazy or outrageous.)

These two have literally spent HOURS together pouring over the numbers, the possibilities, the options in recent weeks. It makes my head spin just to see the materials that have been produced while planning for our future. There is now a 200 page document in our house with all of it recorded for us. I glanced at it. It's pretty and colorful and, I'm sure, interesting. DH dug in, though.

Today the planner dropped by for a meeting unannounced (which I find a little funny). It appears this visit is in response to an email from my DH regarding the planners thoughts/ideas in said 200 page document. I'm listening to them rehash some of the plan and finding myself SO thankful that I don't have to "do" this part in our family.

It's another glimpse into the ways that DH balances me. We will be married for 23 years in a few weeks. 23 years. And I am still so thankful for him and his presence in my life. We could have spent more time planning our eventual lives together before getting married. We could have started out more financially intact. We could have entered our relationship more methodically. But we didn't. Still, it's worked. I'm pretty certain it's because God had, and has, a plan.

Just like I'm thankful for DH's planning, I'm even more thankful for God's plan! It simply doesn't get better than that!