I think every school in our state is on overload right now. While I certainly agree that children should be able to read in order to be promoted, this law has created much stress on many public school students, schools, and the teachers that work there. We are in a new "data-driven" age where everything must be proven with test data and numbers. The demands are great, expectations high, and stress even higher.
I am fortunate, because I work in a place where, for the most part, people WANT to see kids succeed. We do the best we can to stay kid-centered and aware of what's "right" about education and learning. But even the best places can get stressed out.
My friend, Mellissa, told me that she is combatting this at her school with a fresh "look" in the staff bathroom. She put some nice magazines in there, hung some humorous cartoons and fun poems on the walls, posted Oprah's calendar, added a Fall basket with chocolate (yes, chocolate) and dry erase markers. You might ask, "Why dry erase markers?" To leave messages on the mirrors, of course. She told me, "You wouldn't believe what a difference it has made in my staff...they LOVE going to the bathroom and they are smiling more. They are having a blast writing messages on the mirror!" I decided to try it.
On Tuesday, my friend Cheryl and I started by putting up cartoons and poems and those dry erase markers. I wrote one message on each bathroom mirror: Leave a message for someone else. We weren't going to tell anyone it was us, but I decided to clue our boss in so that he wasn't caught off guard.
After day one, people were "buzzing" about the bathrooms. They were leaving funny messages on the mirror including: "Thanks for the therapy!" "This is FUN!" and "You look gorgeous!" among other things. My boss said, "I don't like the mirror thing...you can't see your face." I politely told him to "get over it" and reassured him that he was fine.
Day two, I added the chocolate. Again, my boss didn't like it too much. But his reaction paled in comparison to the rest of the school that is all abuzz about what's going on in the bathroom. They are laughing and smiling. They are visiting the bathroom "just for a little comic relief"...they are leaving many positive messages on the mirrors....And they ARE taking the chocolate.
Despite what my boss says, I think it's a good thing. If writing on a mirror helps destress anyone...it's pretty low-cost therapy, you know?
It's Friday....I'm tired...I'm fighting stress...and my busy family has a million things to do this weekend...I just might put one NEW thing on our weekend agenda though:
Get some dry-erase markers and Write on the Mirror!
Friday, October 07, 2005
Friday, September 30, 2005
A Contrast in Characters
And my "Get-the-golden-rule-under-your-belt-one-way-or-another-week" continues!
Tonight, my friend, Elaine took me to see Grease at a local theater. She received these two tickets for her birthday a couple of weeks back. Since dh is out of town, son 4 stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's, and the older boys had plans, we decided at the last minute to take ds 3 with us. I called the theater to make sure they had tickets available and was told, "You come in early and the box office manager can work his magic." For those of you who read my Menopause the Musical blog...relax...we are NOT going to the "box seats" this time!
As promised, the box office man did find us a seat in the same row, just 6 seats down from our two seats. Since we were in row three, we thought this would be best...and we thought for sure that people might not mind just scooting over one seat so son 3 could sit with us and not have to sit alone. After all, he's only 11.
Seats 11 and 12 showed up---season ticket holders. They were a nice older couple who had just come back from watching their granddaughter perform in the same musical in Connecticut. Definitely proud grandparents. In our conversation, we explained that we were hoping people might be willing to shift in the row to allow son 3 to stay next to us. The gentleman said, "That shouldn't be a problem...but you never know. You know how people sometimes are." He assured us that he and his wife would be happy to move if the seat next to them stayed empty.
It looked pretty promising until moments before the show when seats 7 and 8 showed up. Now I should make sure that every reader understands that we live in a community with many retirees and people who have earned the "right" not to budge from what they want when they want it. And, unfortunately, many of them exercise that right on a regular basis.
We tried to explain to these two people our predicament and asked kindly if they were willing to shift ONE seat to the right so that ds 3 didn't have to sit alone. The man said emphatically, "I paid for seats 7 and 8 and I will NOT sit in seats 6 and 7!" Am I the ONLY person who thinks this was absolutely ridiculous????
DS moved down alone to seat 3 to wait and see if we could shift the other way. In the meantime, the lady and husband with attitude snuggled up next to me in their seats and did not say another word. I admit that I had to ask forgiveness for my thoughts at that moment...but restrained from saying anything to them. (With help, maybe I'll get this rule thing down, yet.)
At showtime, the seats next to our new friends in seats 11 and 12 were still empty...we all moved down at their suggestion...and ds 3 sat right next to the people who have earned and exercised the "right" not to budge. Actually, it centered us more than we already were.
We thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Now, I realize this truly WAS a contrast of characters. See, the people in seats 11 and 12 explained to us that they are Christians and don't see why people have to be so rude and inflexible. We learned a lot about these two people during the evening and really enjoyed our time together. Seats 7 and 8 never spoke to anyone else the rest of the evening. They didn't even look like they LIKED each other much less anyone else around!
I told son 3 later, it's a lesson that we all need to remember. When we have the opportunity to demonstrate kindness for others, then we need to do so like the people in seats 11 and 12.
I only have one question: I wonder if this cancels out the pizza experience?
(disclaimer to all retired persons: I am well aware that there are wonderful people living out their retirement years with compassion and kindness. I also know that my comment about those retirees living in our area in no way applies to everyone. In other words, "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.")
Tonight, my friend, Elaine took me to see Grease at a local theater. She received these two tickets for her birthday a couple of weeks back. Since dh is out of town, son 4 stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's, and the older boys had plans, we decided at the last minute to take ds 3 with us. I called the theater to make sure they had tickets available and was told, "You come in early and the box office manager can work his magic." For those of you who read my Menopause the Musical blog...relax...we are NOT going to the "box seats" this time!
As promised, the box office man did find us a seat in the same row, just 6 seats down from our two seats. Since we were in row three, we thought this would be best...and we thought for sure that people might not mind just scooting over one seat so son 3 could sit with us and not have to sit alone. After all, he's only 11.
Seats 11 and 12 showed up---season ticket holders. They were a nice older couple who had just come back from watching their granddaughter perform in the same musical in Connecticut. Definitely proud grandparents. In our conversation, we explained that we were hoping people might be willing to shift in the row to allow son 3 to stay next to us. The gentleman said, "That shouldn't be a problem...but you never know. You know how people sometimes are." He assured us that he and his wife would be happy to move if the seat next to them stayed empty.
It looked pretty promising until moments before the show when seats 7 and 8 showed up. Now I should make sure that every reader understands that we live in a community with many retirees and people who have earned the "right" not to budge from what they want when they want it. And, unfortunately, many of them exercise that right on a regular basis.
We tried to explain to these two people our predicament and asked kindly if they were willing to shift ONE seat to the right so that ds 3 didn't have to sit alone. The man said emphatically, "I paid for seats 7 and 8 and I will NOT sit in seats 6 and 7!" Am I the ONLY person who thinks this was absolutely ridiculous????
DS moved down alone to seat 3 to wait and see if we could shift the other way. In the meantime, the lady and husband with attitude snuggled up next to me in their seats and did not say another word. I admit that I had to ask forgiveness for my thoughts at that moment...but restrained from saying anything to them. (With help, maybe I'll get this rule thing down, yet.)
At showtime, the seats next to our new friends in seats 11 and 12 were still empty...we all moved down at their suggestion...and ds 3 sat right next to the people who have earned and exercised the "right" not to budge. Actually, it centered us more than we already were.
We thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Now, I realize this truly WAS a contrast of characters. See, the people in seats 11 and 12 explained to us that they are Christians and don't see why people have to be so rude and inflexible. We learned a lot about these two people during the evening and really enjoyed our time together. Seats 7 and 8 never spoke to anyone else the rest of the evening. They didn't even look like they LIKED each other much less anyone else around!
I told son 3 later, it's a lesson that we all need to remember. When we have the opportunity to demonstrate kindness for others, then we need to do so like the people in seats 11 and 12.
I only have one question: I wonder if this cancels out the pizza experience?
(disclaimer to all retired persons: I am well aware that there are wonderful people living out their retirement years with compassion and kindness. I also know that my comment about those retirees living in our area in no way applies to everyone. In other words, "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.")
Monday, September 26, 2005
The Golden Rule vs. The Pizza Rule
Most of you know that my dh is a pastor. On Sunday he preached about that lovely Golden Rule from the book of Matthew: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." (paraphrased)
I was OK with the sermon. It wasn't anything new to me. I've been hearing this rule (and mostly trying to live by it) for years. I DID think, however, "You know? You really could be more tender with sales people when they frustrate you." And I calmly whispered a prayer and asked God to help me make it so.
I did pretty good for the first 24 or so hours. DH is out of town this week. I had meetings late at work today and two of my sons had to leave for sports practice/training. The dinner window was very narrow for us. We spoke on the phone when I was on my way home around 4:50. All four kids agreed that pizza would be a good thing. So, I told them to go ahead and order. The order was completed just before 5:00.
DS 2 and I had a nice calm conversation about his day, life in general, the future, and other stuff while we waited for the dinner to arrive. Finally around 5:45, he said, "I'm going to call them and see where it is." He did. The man on the other end of the phone assured him that the driver left "10 minutes ago" with our pizzas. Knowing it would arrive any minute, ds watched eagerly out the window.
Around 6:00 we received a call from the pizza place and the driver told ds 2 that he was lost. DS gave him directions.
Ten minutes later, nothing.
I called the pizza place and asked them what happens when the pizza takes over an hour to deliver...and the manager said, "Tell the driver that Brian said it's free." That's all fine....but really doesn't solve the entire problem.
Patiently we continued to wait. Then the driver called me back. He told me where he was (less than one mile from my house). He told me that he was a driver for Dominos (I ordered Papa Johns) and that he was a manager who doesn't usually drive and he wrote down directions. I spoke slowly and calmly and was still living by the Golden Rule even as I realized that I had just been told by a Papa John's employee that he works for Dominos--and that he is a manager!
I called my new friend Brian, the manager of our local Papa Johns. I asked him the name of the driver that would be delivering my pizza and he said "John". I asked him if he was a manager. Brian said, "sort of we just hired him a week ago." I asked, "Did he used to work for Dominos? Because he thinks that he still does. Does this concern you? Because it concerns me greatly." He replied, "It certainly does. What did you order?" I told him and he promised that he would send out new pizzas with a different driver in 30 minutes. I hung up.
Right after I hung up, John (who thinks he works at Dominos) called back and said, "Did you order pizza?" I said, "yes." Then he said, "Can you give me directions?" At this point, I lost it. I said, "No. You can take the pizza back to your store. Just drive straight back there!" He once again said, "I'm a manager." I stopped him and said, "I don't care if you own Papa John's, I do not want you at my house!" (Goodbye Golden Rule, Hello Pizza Rule!)
45 minutes later, a sweet young lady rang the bell with my pizzas in tow. She started to tell me how much it would be. I smiled and said, "No, I think it's free." She reminded herself where she was and said, "Yes it is. I'm sorry about the delay." I thanked her...restrained myself from commenting on the word "delay"...and handed HER a tip for delivering my order.
Here I am three hours after this incident all began asking myself, "How could I have acted differently?" Well...I suppose I could have left off my commentary, stayed firm and a bit more calm than my last phone call. I know I am still rough around the edges. Thankfully, God allows me wiggle room and will continue to prune me until I get it right.
I just hope there's not a McDonald's rule, too!
I was OK with the sermon. It wasn't anything new to me. I've been hearing this rule (and mostly trying to live by it) for years. I DID think, however, "You know? You really could be more tender with sales people when they frustrate you." And I calmly whispered a prayer and asked God to help me make it so.
I did pretty good for the first 24 or so hours. DH is out of town this week. I had meetings late at work today and two of my sons had to leave for sports practice/training. The dinner window was very narrow for us. We spoke on the phone when I was on my way home around 4:50. All four kids agreed that pizza would be a good thing. So, I told them to go ahead and order. The order was completed just before 5:00.
DS 2 and I had a nice calm conversation about his day, life in general, the future, and other stuff while we waited for the dinner to arrive. Finally around 5:45, he said, "I'm going to call them and see where it is." He did. The man on the other end of the phone assured him that the driver left "10 minutes ago" with our pizzas. Knowing it would arrive any minute, ds watched eagerly out the window.
Around 6:00 we received a call from the pizza place and the driver told ds 2 that he was lost. DS gave him directions.
Ten minutes later, nothing.
I called the pizza place and asked them what happens when the pizza takes over an hour to deliver...and the manager said, "Tell the driver that Brian said it's free." That's all fine....but really doesn't solve the entire problem.
Patiently we continued to wait. Then the driver called me back. He told me where he was (less than one mile from my house). He told me that he was a driver for Dominos (I ordered Papa Johns) and that he was a manager who doesn't usually drive and he wrote down directions. I spoke slowly and calmly and was still living by the Golden Rule even as I realized that I had just been told by a Papa John's employee that he works for Dominos--and that he is a manager!
I called my new friend Brian, the manager of our local Papa Johns. I asked him the name of the driver that would be delivering my pizza and he said "John". I asked him if he was a manager. Brian said, "sort of we just hired him a week ago." I asked, "Did he used to work for Dominos? Because he thinks that he still does. Does this concern you? Because it concerns me greatly." He replied, "It certainly does. What did you order?" I told him and he promised that he would send out new pizzas with a different driver in 30 minutes. I hung up.
Right after I hung up, John (who thinks he works at Dominos) called back and said, "Did you order pizza?" I said, "yes." Then he said, "Can you give me directions?" At this point, I lost it. I said, "No. You can take the pizza back to your store. Just drive straight back there!" He once again said, "I'm a manager." I stopped him and said, "I don't care if you own Papa John's, I do not want you at my house!" (Goodbye Golden Rule, Hello Pizza Rule!)
45 minutes later, a sweet young lady rang the bell with my pizzas in tow. She started to tell me how much it would be. I smiled and said, "No, I think it's free." She reminded herself where she was and said, "Yes it is. I'm sorry about the delay." I thanked her...restrained myself from commenting on the word "delay"...and handed HER a tip for delivering my order.
Here I am three hours after this incident all began asking myself, "How could I have acted differently?" Well...I suppose I could have left off my commentary, stayed firm and a bit more calm than my last phone call. I know I am still rough around the edges. Thankfully, God allows me wiggle room and will continue to prune me until I get it right.
I just hope there's not a McDonald's rule, too!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Soccer Anyone???
Son 2 is in week 3 of soccer season. Son 4 will start playing in a couple of weeks (and received his first "real" uniform today). For the past two Saturdays, dh and I (and some configuration of the rest of our family) have been at the soccer fields watching Son 2 play. Now he is not just a "rec" player. He LOVES this sport (and always has). He dreams of playing World Cup Soccer someday.
DS 1 used to play and also enjoys this sport. He has been entertaining the idea of playing again recently.
DS 3 has never really played...nor has he ever really wanted to. His talents are in other areas.
Occasionally, Son 2 goes to the local field and kicks around with friends or other "teams" that are out there playing. Most recently, he discovered a Hungarian mens team that goes out there to play. Tonight, he and his older brother decided they are going to go see if they are playing and try to get in the game.
Pretty soon, son 4 came out and was dressed and ready to accompany his big brothers to the field. His brothers showed great grace and told him he could tag along.
While eating dinner tonight, son 3 announces, "No one invited me!" To which son 2 replied, "You're always invited." Pretty soon, HE came out looking for his father's soccer cleats so he, too, could go to the field. I am definitely blown away by this!!
Five minutes ago, the four of them...dressed and ready....left for the field.
It's quiet in the house...except for the TV that is playing college football and dh and I typing on our computers. I'm thinking I might encourage them to go to the field more often :-)
As they left, I thought: I truly am blessed by the way they support and encourage one another. Of course, there are days when they don't even like to be in the same room...but today's not one of those. People often ask me how we do it with FOUR boys...this is how. They have learned to co-exist---to have a genuine care and concern for each other most of the time. They know how to be individuals...but they also enjoy each other.
I am thinking the next time they don't want to even breathe the same air, I might ask:
"Soccer anyone???"
DS 1 used to play and also enjoys this sport. He has been entertaining the idea of playing again recently.
DS 3 has never really played...nor has he ever really wanted to. His talents are in other areas.
Occasionally, Son 2 goes to the local field and kicks around with friends or other "teams" that are out there playing. Most recently, he discovered a Hungarian mens team that goes out there to play. Tonight, he and his older brother decided they are going to go see if they are playing and try to get in the game.
Pretty soon, son 4 came out and was dressed and ready to accompany his big brothers to the field. His brothers showed great grace and told him he could tag along.
While eating dinner tonight, son 3 announces, "No one invited me!" To which son 2 replied, "You're always invited." Pretty soon, HE came out looking for his father's soccer cleats so he, too, could go to the field. I am definitely blown away by this!!
Five minutes ago, the four of them...dressed and ready....left for the field.
It's quiet in the house...except for the TV that is playing college football and dh and I typing on our computers. I'm thinking I might encourage them to go to the field more often :-)
As they left, I thought: I truly am blessed by the way they support and encourage one another. Of course, there are days when they don't even like to be in the same room...but today's not one of those. People often ask me how we do it with FOUR boys...this is how. They have learned to co-exist---to have a genuine care and concern for each other most of the time. They know how to be individuals...but they also enjoy each other.
I am thinking the next time they don't want to even breathe the same air, I might ask:
"Soccer anyone???"
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Reflections on Son 2
As promised, I am going to try and reflect on his birthday and life. It seems like 16 years goes by so fast. I remember being 16. I was not nearly as focused or ready to enter my "next stages" as he is. He is already thinking about what he wants to do when he "grows up". And his dreams and goals are good.
This weekend has really made me reflect on all that he has accomplished in a very short time. He is an active member of our Youth Group. He is a leader. He plays drums. He plays soccer. He enjoys time with friends. He is a great student. That's a lot!
I am so proud of son 2. He is growing into a fine young man. There's a part of me that wants to shelter all of them and not let them go out into the "big world". He is proving that he is ready for it, though. He shows us by the decisions he makes and the maturity with which he approaches life.
On Monday, he'll cross another threshhold as he goes to get his license. We will have two young drivers in the family. It saddens me in a way...and yet I anticipate it. He is ready. It is time. Happy Birthday Son....Be careful out there.
This weekend has really made me reflect on all that he has accomplished in a very short time. He is an active member of our Youth Group. He is a leader. He plays drums. He plays soccer. He enjoys time with friends. He is a great student. That's a lot!
I am so proud of son 2. He is growing into a fine young man. There's a part of me that wants to shelter all of them and not let them go out into the "big world". He is proving that he is ready for it, though. He shows us by the decisions he makes and the maturity with which he approaches life.
On Monday, he'll cross another threshhold as he goes to get his license. We will have two young drivers in the family. It saddens me in a way...and yet I anticipate it. He is ready. It is time. Happy Birthday Son....Be careful out there.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Happy Birthday Son 2!!
I have started this three times and each time my computer is shutting down before I get to post. So, I'll type more about his life in these 16 years later....
In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Son 2!! I love you!!
In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Son 2!! I love you!!
Monday, September 05, 2005
And the fun continued....
The celebration of Grandma's birthday continued into yesterday (Sunday). We met yesterday at 1:00 at the Harding Memorial in Marion. This is a beautiful historical structure in her hometown. Each of Grandma's four kids were there with their spouses and extended families. Each family unit chose a "color code" to bring some uniformity to the photo. It really turned out neat. There were 42 of us in all for the photo.
We rounded out the day at my Aunt's farm. This is always fun. We enjoyed plenty of food. The kids enjoyed playing in the field, picking apples and pears. The adults sit around and share stories of the past while catching up on each other's lives.
And there are always games: We played bocce ball....a VERY fun family game. The kids played football and soccer among other things.
DS 1 got a special guitar session with my Uncle who plays guitar and writes music and his friend and co-writer. They are both very talented men who enjoy sharing their gift of music with others. It was so neat to watch son 1 sit and soak in the session. My Uncle and his friend included son 1 in several songs and helped him learn some more bass runs. They truly honored who he is and the musician he is becoming. I thought as I watched this....THIS is how we pass on legacies to those who come after us! Thank you both for passing along and sharing your talent with my son.
DS 4 really enjoyed playing with the dogs and a few football games with boys that were at least twice his size. He simply doesn't want to believe he is only 6! I don't think he was phased by any size or age difference during the entire weekend. In fact, it dawned on him as we drove home last night that he "missed the food"! He was way too occupied with all the people, pets, and activities to stop and eat. (Dad and Mickey D's saved the day.)
Son 3 is fun to watch. My two nieces absolutely adore this one! He has such a special way with them. They gravitate to him and he seems to love it. I found him sitting and holding them several times. I also found them running around him and calling his name as they maneuvered through this busy day. He has been our photographer and videographer for most of the trip. I can't wait to see his final production! He ended his very busy day by helping his Dad clean and "fix-up" my Aunt's computer.
Son 2 was a little quieter yesterday. He did surprise me at one point though....my Aunt (who LOVES to play cards) asked, "Who wants to play Euchre?"...and son 2 piped up, "I DO!!" He must have seen the quizzical look on my face because he said immediately, "Mom, I told you I learned it at school!" And off he went with three adults he barely knew to participate in this family bonding moment. I think he and his partner won...I know he enjoyed the game.
Cynthia Rylant has a children's book out called, "The Relatives Came". I LOVE this book as it often takes me back to my childhood with this side of my family. One line in her book says, "We had to pass through three or four hugs just to get from one side of the house to the other." This is kind of how it is...there's lots of hugging, singing, playing, eating, and well...FUN!
This Labor Day weekend memories were made. I am thankful we live in a country where we can stop and enjoy each other...I pray that these are the memories that my own children will carry into their adult lives and pass along to their own children someday.
We rounded out the day at my Aunt's farm. This is always fun. We enjoyed plenty of food. The kids enjoyed playing in the field, picking apples and pears. The adults sit around and share stories of the past while catching up on each other's lives.
And there are always games: We played bocce ball....a VERY fun family game. The kids played football and soccer among other things.
DS 1 got a special guitar session with my Uncle who plays guitar and writes music and his friend and co-writer. They are both very talented men who enjoy sharing their gift of music with others. It was so neat to watch son 1 sit and soak in the session. My Uncle and his friend included son 1 in several songs and helped him learn some more bass runs. They truly honored who he is and the musician he is becoming. I thought as I watched this....THIS is how we pass on legacies to those who come after us! Thank you both for passing along and sharing your talent with my son.
DS 4 really enjoyed playing with the dogs and a few football games with boys that were at least twice his size. He simply doesn't want to believe he is only 6! I don't think he was phased by any size or age difference during the entire weekend. In fact, it dawned on him as we drove home last night that he "missed the food"! He was way too occupied with all the people, pets, and activities to stop and eat. (Dad and Mickey D's saved the day.)
Son 3 is fun to watch. My two nieces absolutely adore this one! He has such a special way with them. They gravitate to him and he seems to love it. I found him sitting and holding them several times. I also found them running around him and calling his name as they maneuvered through this busy day. He has been our photographer and videographer for most of the trip. I can't wait to see his final production! He ended his very busy day by helping his Dad clean and "fix-up" my Aunt's computer.
Son 2 was a little quieter yesterday. He did surprise me at one point though....my Aunt (who LOVES to play cards) asked, "Who wants to play Euchre?"...and son 2 piped up, "I DO!!" He must have seen the quizzical look on my face because he said immediately, "Mom, I told you I learned it at school!" And off he went with three adults he barely knew to participate in this family bonding moment. I think he and his partner won...I know he enjoyed the game.
Cynthia Rylant has a children's book out called, "The Relatives Came". I LOVE this book as it often takes me back to my childhood with this side of my family. One line in her book says, "We had to pass through three or four hugs just to get from one side of the house to the other." This is kind of how it is...there's lots of hugging, singing, playing, eating, and well...FUN!
This Labor Day weekend memories were made. I am thankful we live in a country where we can stop and enjoy each other...I pray that these are the memories that my own children will carry into their adult lives and pass along to their own children someday.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
She Never Knew a Thing (And Neither Did I)
I have been resisting the urge to write because I don't know if my Grandmother reads my blog or not. She turns 85 in a few days. For months, a plan has been brewing in secret to celebrate this occasion.
My extended family is from a small town in Ohio. DSs 3 and 4 and my Mom and I drove up on Thursday of last week. The rest of my Florida family flew up at various times between Thursday and Saturday. We have spent the last two days "dodging Grandma" as we have been waiting for this big event. In the meantime, I have had a lot of fun taking my Dad and my Mom around to video tape places from their childhood, and pieces of our family history. This was kind of a bonus to "the plan".
Last night, we carried out the real plan.
Fifty plus family members surprised Grandma with a reunion/party in her hometown of Marion, Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle had made arrangements to take her out to dinner for her birthday. On the way, my Uncle stopped by the VFW and told her he wanted to show her something in the back. The "in-town" family surprised her first. Then, they told her that there was one more surprise and the "out-of-town" family came walking in. She smiled and unending smile and cried and seemed totally shocked. It was really neat.
We had a dinner together then many more guests joined the fun as we sang karaoke and danced the night away. I love these times! I love the small town feel, the love and laughter of family, and just generally enjoying life. (An aside: the weather has also been WONDERFUL!)
Grandma wasn't the only person surprised at this event. As I said earlier, we had a DJ there to provide karaoke for everyone. Now, my family really loves karaoke. We have used this form of entertainment at weddings and family reunions for several years. My own family loves to play "Karaoke Revolution" on the Playstation. I've seen my boys sing and play in the privacy of our own home. Occasionally, they have stood up at family events and sang in a group or duet.
Last night, my two oldest sons took karaoke to a new level. DSs 1 and 2 started out by singing "Believe" by Cher. It was quite a performance. Son 2 became a totally new person behind the mike. Then, DS 2 sang "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It was quite a rendition...perhaps the best part was when someone threw a child's pull-up at him and he finished his performance with it on his head without missing a beat!!
Son 1 sang a more serious song later in the night and son 2 rounded out our family's karaoke contribution with a stab at RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. Yes, I was surprised.
I was also proud. Proud that they are not afraid or inhibited to have fun. Proud that they are comfortable in who they are. Proud that they enjoyed this special family time to the fullest.
It truly was a great night. I think Grandma enjoyed herself immensly as I did. It really was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
My extended family is from a small town in Ohio. DSs 3 and 4 and my Mom and I drove up on Thursday of last week. The rest of my Florida family flew up at various times between Thursday and Saturday. We have spent the last two days "dodging Grandma" as we have been waiting for this big event. In the meantime, I have had a lot of fun taking my Dad and my Mom around to video tape places from their childhood, and pieces of our family history. This was kind of a bonus to "the plan".
Last night, we carried out the real plan.
Fifty plus family members surprised Grandma with a reunion/party in her hometown of Marion, Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle had made arrangements to take her out to dinner for her birthday. On the way, my Uncle stopped by the VFW and told her he wanted to show her something in the back. The "in-town" family surprised her first. Then, they told her that there was one more surprise and the "out-of-town" family came walking in. She smiled and unending smile and cried and seemed totally shocked. It was really neat.
We had a dinner together then many more guests joined the fun as we sang karaoke and danced the night away. I love these times! I love the small town feel, the love and laughter of family, and just generally enjoying life. (An aside: the weather has also been WONDERFUL!)
Grandma wasn't the only person surprised at this event. As I said earlier, we had a DJ there to provide karaoke for everyone. Now, my family really loves karaoke. We have used this form of entertainment at weddings and family reunions for several years. My own family loves to play "Karaoke Revolution" on the Playstation. I've seen my boys sing and play in the privacy of our own home. Occasionally, they have stood up at family events and sang in a group or duet.
Last night, my two oldest sons took karaoke to a new level. DSs 1 and 2 started out by singing "Believe" by Cher. It was quite a performance. Son 2 became a totally new person behind the mike. Then, DS 2 sang "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It was quite a rendition...perhaps the best part was when someone threw a child's pull-up at him and he finished his performance with it on his head without missing a beat!!
Son 1 sang a more serious song later in the night and son 2 rounded out our family's karaoke contribution with a stab at RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. Yes, I was surprised.
I was also proud. Proud that they are not afraid or inhibited to have fun. Proud that they are comfortable in who they are. Proud that they enjoyed this special family time to the fullest.
It truly was a great night. I think Grandma enjoyed herself immensly as I did. It really was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Pickin' and Grinnin' (More Memories)
My cousin, Lynn, reminded me that Hee Haw was part of our family TV watching...when we went to our Grandparents' house on Sundays. I think she is right. This dredged up more memories for me.
In a conversation with a "very young" teacher at work today I found out she was BORN in 1982...I know that it seems like a long time ago...but it's not, really. So I said, "Have you ever listened to a record player? Or seen an 8 track tape?" She said, "Yeah, I saw an 8 track tape in HISTORY class!!" I snarled!!
More memories from my childhood:
* Flipper the bottle-nosed dolphin
* Wanting a Mrs. Beasley doll
* Hippity-Hop
* Watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family
* Listening to 45's....And speaking of 45's:
* Owning American Pie which took BOTH sides of the 45 to play
* Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" until very late at night during the summers
* Magic Eight Balls
* Casey Kasem's Radio Countdown every Saturday
* Chatty Cathy
* Operation Board Game
* Sonny and Cher (with Chastity) TV Show
* Tony Orlando and Dawn TV Show
* Mac Davis TV Show
* Glenn Campbell TV Show
And probably the funniest TV show of all....
* The Carol Burnett Show (and Mrs. a-Wiggins)
Thanks, Lynn, for helping me go back a bit more today!!
In a conversation with a "very young" teacher at work today I found out she was BORN in 1982...I know that it seems like a long time ago...but it's not, really. So I said, "Have you ever listened to a record player? Or seen an 8 track tape?" She said, "Yeah, I saw an 8 track tape in HISTORY class!!" I snarled!!
More memories from my childhood:
* Flipper the bottle-nosed dolphin
* Wanting a Mrs. Beasley doll
* Hippity-Hop
* Watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family
* Listening to 45's....And speaking of 45's:
* Owning American Pie which took BOTH sides of the 45 to play
* Playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" until very late at night during the summers
* Magic Eight Balls
* Casey Kasem's Radio Countdown every Saturday
* Chatty Cathy
* Operation Board Game
* Sonny and Cher (with Chastity) TV Show
* Tony Orlando and Dawn TV Show
* Mac Davis TV Show
* Glenn Campbell TV Show
And probably the funniest TV show of all....
* The Carol Burnett Show (and Mrs. a-Wiggins)
Thanks, Lynn, for helping me go back a bit more today!!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
A Flashback Moment
Tonight I am having a flashback moment. I am sitting with my ds 4 (who is 6) on the couch while he watches a video of the old TV series "Lassie". His brother, son 3, is sprawled across the floor with his chin resting on the elbows. Suddenly I picture myself laying on the floor of my Grandparent's home on Sunday evenings with the rest of my cousins waiting to know that our favorite canine is OK. And we all chewed Teaberry gum that Grandpa gave us.
And memories flood my soul:
I remember trying to learn to blow a bubble with that gum.
I remember getting excited when Tinkerbell would fly across the screen and announce the start of another Wonderful World of Disney
I remember waiting for Lawrence Welk to end so we could watch "the good stuff"
I remember the porch
I remember lightning bugs
I remember picking dandelions and thinking they were roses
I remember watching lightning dance across the sky
I remember the swing
I remember the aluminum cups that kept water so cold
I remember endless hours playing and pretending surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles that I loved dearly
And tonight I find myself hoping that my own children have memories that will take them on a similar journey someday.
Who knows? Maybe sons 3 and 4 will recall watching that "old fashioned video" with their Mom on a quiet Saturday night.
And memories flood my soul:
I remember trying to learn to blow a bubble with that gum.
I remember getting excited when Tinkerbell would fly across the screen and announce the start of another Wonderful World of Disney
I remember waiting for Lawrence Welk to end so we could watch "the good stuff"
I remember the porch
I remember lightning bugs
I remember picking dandelions and thinking they were roses
I remember watching lightning dance across the sky
I remember the swing
I remember the aluminum cups that kept water so cold
I remember endless hours playing and pretending surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles that I loved dearly
And tonight I find myself hoping that my own children have memories that will take them on a similar journey someday.
Who knows? Maybe sons 3 and 4 will recall watching that "old fashioned video" with their Mom on a quiet Saturday night.
Rigor, Relevance and Professionalism
My brother sent an email to let me know that I spelled "relevant" wrong in my blog about my dh on 8/15. He was right...and now it is fixed...along with the word "meaningful" which he didn't catch in his brief editing this afternoon.
As I fixed the word "relevant" I thought of how much I have been hearing it lately. Everytime I have a education conversation it seems that it comes up coupled with the word "rigor". This seems to be the new mantra in education. It requires that all teachers strive to make their instructional delivery both rigorous and relevant for all students.
This week in a conversation with a frustrated teacher, she noted that she didn't think she was being treated as a professional. She feels she is being asked to write down "every breath she is going to take" in her lesson plans. I reflected on this for a moment and tried to help her see that it is a new day in education.
I am now required to account for every hour in my day to the state department of education each week. I have not once thought that this meant I was not a professional. In fact, in many ways, it feels the opposite. They are valuing reading teachers right now and they want to make sure that our jobs help bring this rigor and relevance to the schools in which we work.
When we ask a teacher to document their instructional delivery and be accountable to it, I think kids win. In my own informal observations, it is often those that are mediocre at best who yell the loudest about this. Is accountability wrong? I don't think so. Will rigor and relevance happen without it? In most cases, no.
I guess it comes down to this----in my opinion:
accountability + rigor + relevance = professionalism
As I fixed the word "relevant" I thought of how much I have been hearing it lately. Everytime I have a education conversation it seems that it comes up coupled with the word "rigor". This seems to be the new mantra in education. It requires that all teachers strive to make their instructional delivery both rigorous and relevant for all students.
This week in a conversation with a frustrated teacher, she noted that she didn't think she was being treated as a professional. She feels she is being asked to write down "every breath she is going to take" in her lesson plans. I reflected on this for a moment and tried to help her see that it is a new day in education.
I am now required to account for every hour in my day to the state department of education each week. I have not once thought that this meant I was not a professional. In fact, in many ways, it feels the opposite. They are valuing reading teachers right now and they want to make sure that our jobs help bring this rigor and relevance to the schools in which we work.
When we ask a teacher to document their instructional delivery and be accountable to it, I think kids win. In my own informal observations, it is often those that are mediocre at best who yell the loudest about this. Is accountability wrong? I don't think so. Will rigor and relevance happen without it? In most cases, no.
I guess it comes down to this----in my opinion:
accountability + rigor + relevance = professionalism
Friday, August 26, 2005
A Quote to Remember
I have just returned from delivering two workshops in Atlanta with my friend and colleague Mellissa. She shared this quote with the groups that we worked with:
Readers are plentiful; Thinkers are rare.
This is so very true. If I could just help teachers help kids think deeply about what they read, I would accomplish my goal. I want to help them see that we are living in a new society that requires us to think critically about the text we read.
It sure made me think.
Readers are plentiful; Thinkers are rare.
This is so very true. If I could just help teachers help kids think deeply about what they read, I would accomplish my goal. I want to help them see that we are living in a new society that requires us to think critically about the text we read.
It sure made me think.
Too tired to....
I can honestly say I have been too tired to write this week! Life has definitely been happening and I feel like I have been in a whirlwind of activity.
Son 1 finally got his senior pictures taken last night. Son 2 is having his first soccer game tomorrow. Son 3 sewed his first pillow this week. Son 4 finished one FULL week of homework (thanks Grandma!). I drove to Atlanta for three days earlier in the week and have had literally back to back meetings ever since my return to town.
All of the activity this week brought was important. It was valuable and helped us and others...but it was draining for me. In July I told my friends, "If I get through July, things will slow down." Now I am saying, "If I get through August, things will slow down..." But they won't. Not unless I make them slow down. It means prioritizing. It means saying "no" once in a while. And it means being willing to skip some things I might otherwise deem important (which takes me right back to prioritizing).
Tonight, I am vegging. I am going to just stop and rest. I'll start prioritizing tomorrow.
Son 1 finally got his senior pictures taken last night. Son 2 is having his first soccer game tomorrow. Son 3 sewed his first pillow this week. Son 4 finished one FULL week of homework (thanks Grandma!). I drove to Atlanta for three days earlier in the week and have had literally back to back meetings ever since my return to town.
All of the activity this week brought was important. It was valuable and helped us and others...but it was draining for me. In July I told my friends, "If I get through July, things will slow down." Now I am saying, "If I get through August, things will slow down..." But they won't. Not unless I make them slow down. It means prioritizing. It means saying "no" once in a while. And it means being willing to skip some things I might otherwise deem important (which takes me right back to prioritizing).
Tonight, I am vegging. I am going to just stop and rest. I'll start prioritizing tomorrow.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
One additional menopause detail...
It occurred to me this morning that the lady who was throwing the fit at the window was in the box seats that would be equivalent to President Lincoln's. I'm thinking "Peter Pan Man" was probably glad to lock us all away from the rest of the crowd!
Oh well.
Oh well.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Menopause the Musical
Today I went with a couple of friends to see Menopause the Musical. We weren't five feet in the door before we knew that we WERE in the right place.
Last week, I purchased tickets online. All was well. I got the confirmation email. Now, you know that they never ask you for those things...so I left it at home. We walked into the large lobby of the theater and the room was filled with women of all ages. When we got to the box office, there was a woman in line being quite hormonal with the man tucked safely behind the glass. She was in a fit because her tickets were lost. I thought, "Wow, she really DOES need to be here!"
I walked up to the lady next to the man behind the glass and I told them I was there to pick up my tickets. They said, "There are no tickets, do you have your confirmation number?" Of course, my answer is "no". Inside I was thinking, "They NEVER ask for that!" She said, "I am sorry but I can do nothing without the confirmation number."
Not wanting to throw a fit like the lady next to me, I stepped away from the window and called home. Son 3 answered. I have him get the email...find the number and he dutifully said, "Mom, your tickets were confirmed for 2:00 on the 19th. That was yesterday, Mom." I'm not sure but maybe HE was thinking, "YEAH she definitely belongs at a play about menopause!"
Near tears, I looked at my two friends who had trusted me to get their tickets. I said, "I wouldn't have done that...we work on Fridays at 2:00!" Debra reminded me though that my head has been in a thousand places this week.
I marched up to the window and talked to the man in the Peter Pan shirt who had just finished being scolded by the woman. He said, "What's your name?" I told him. In my head, I was repeating, "I will NOT be like that lady! I will NOT be like that lady!" And truthfully I did pretty well until he said, "I found your tickets, they were for YESTERDAY at 2:00!" I swallowed hard and said, "Well, what can you do about it?" Just like it was his mistake. I was wondering if he was glad that this show that has been held over several times since May is ending tomorrow.
At first he said, "Nothing." But, in a short instance, he said, "Wait a minute. I can give you a box seat." I am sure my face told all..."a box seat?" My mind was thinking, the only box seats I know of are the ones like President Lincoln was sitting in when he was assassinated or the multi-thousand dollar ones at the football stadium. I said, "I'll take them."
We walked up to the second floor and, sure enough, we were escorted through the exclusive door to the "box seats" right up on top of the stage....picture the pictures you have seen of Ford's theater and we were in the box directly across from where Lincoln was sitting.
It was as if it was our own performance. And we enjoyed every minute of it. From "Change, Change, Change," sung to the tune of "Chain of Fools" to "My Husband Sleeps Tonight" sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." It was great fun....and a reality check at the same time. See, I thought I'd be going to see about something I have watched OTHER women go through and that I'd experience some day in the future. I guess my ticket-buying experience drives home the reality that "someday might be closer than I think!"
Last week, I purchased tickets online. All was well. I got the confirmation email. Now, you know that they never ask you for those things...so I left it at home. We walked into the large lobby of the theater and the room was filled with women of all ages. When we got to the box office, there was a woman in line being quite hormonal with the man tucked safely behind the glass. She was in a fit because her tickets were lost. I thought, "Wow, she really DOES need to be here!"
I walked up to the lady next to the man behind the glass and I told them I was there to pick up my tickets. They said, "There are no tickets, do you have your confirmation number?" Of course, my answer is "no". Inside I was thinking, "They NEVER ask for that!" She said, "I am sorry but I can do nothing without the confirmation number."
Not wanting to throw a fit like the lady next to me, I stepped away from the window and called home. Son 3 answered. I have him get the email...find the number and he dutifully said, "Mom, your tickets were confirmed for 2:00 on the 19th. That was yesterday, Mom." I'm not sure but maybe HE was thinking, "YEAH she definitely belongs at a play about menopause!"
Near tears, I looked at my two friends who had trusted me to get their tickets. I said, "I wouldn't have done that...we work on Fridays at 2:00!" Debra reminded me though that my head has been in a thousand places this week.
I marched up to the window and talked to the man in the Peter Pan shirt who had just finished being scolded by the woman. He said, "What's your name?" I told him. In my head, I was repeating, "I will NOT be like that lady! I will NOT be like that lady!" And truthfully I did pretty well until he said, "I found your tickets, they were for YESTERDAY at 2:00!" I swallowed hard and said, "Well, what can you do about it?" Just like it was his mistake. I was wondering if he was glad that this show that has been held over several times since May is ending tomorrow.
At first he said, "Nothing." But, in a short instance, he said, "Wait a minute. I can give you a box seat." I am sure my face told all..."a box seat?" My mind was thinking, the only box seats I know of are the ones like President Lincoln was sitting in when he was assassinated or the multi-thousand dollar ones at the football stadium. I said, "I'll take them."
We walked up to the second floor and, sure enough, we were escorted through the exclusive door to the "box seats" right up on top of the stage....picture the pictures you have seen of Ford's theater and we were in the box directly across from where Lincoln was sitting.
It was as if it was our own performance. And we enjoyed every minute of it. From "Change, Change, Change," sung to the tune of "Chain of Fools" to "My Husband Sleeps Tonight" sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." It was great fun....and a reality check at the same time. See, I thought I'd be going to see about something I have watched OTHER women go through and that I'd experience some day in the future. I guess my ticket-buying experience drives home the reality that "someday might be closer than I think!"
Friday, August 19, 2005
A Beautiful Thought
My cousin, Lynn, has joined the blogging world. What a beautiful thought she has on her blog about Seeking Thin Spaces. I have included her link in my "Blogs I Read" section. Welcome Lynn!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Lessons Learned/Lessons Shared
On my way home from work tonight, I called in. I have said before any Mom of boys will totally understand this phone call. It's kind of the "fair warning" signal that all had better be well in "x" amount of minutes. It's also a chance for them to "fess up" to anything that might need "fessing". Anyway, I called.
DS 1 answered the phone. He told me all was well. Then he said, "I am having DS 3 do his homework. I told him he needed to finish it before he got on the computer." Now, I admit that this son (1) is often called my husband's younger twin, but I wasn't sure I was hearing him right. I said, "YOU what?" And he repeated himself. This time he followed up with "Mom, I told him that he needs to not get into the bad habits I did in middle school."
Well...besides being almost totally speechless and wanting to stop and shout "Hallelujah!"...I told him "thank you".
So, I walked in the calm and quiet house with ds 3 working diligently on his homework while son 1 was working in his room. He called me later tonight when I was doing the Wednesday night soccer run (for son 2) and I said, "with the price of gas, I hate driving the 20 minutes back home to just turn around and come back 20 minutes later....but your brother (son 4) has to do his homework." He confidently said, "What does he need to do?" I said, "Well, he needs to read four books." He replied, "I DO know how to read, he'll be fine, I'll get him to bed for you."
I, again, couldn't believe my ears. It's amazing watching them grow and mature into young adults. This one could have chosen a different path, but he hasn't. Life for him (as he mentioned above) has not always been easy. Yet he is maturing and passing on the lessons he learned during those middle school years.
I guess that really is what it's all about. What we learn, we need to share. Thanks son 1 for sharing with your brothers tonight.
DS 1 answered the phone. He told me all was well. Then he said, "I am having DS 3 do his homework. I told him he needed to finish it before he got on the computer." Now, I admit that this son (1) is often called my husband's younger twin, but I wasn't sure I was hearing him right. I said, "YOU what?" And he repeated himself. This time he followed up with "Mom, I told him that he needs to not get into the bad habits I did in middle school."
Well...besides being almost totally speechless and wanting to stop and shout "Hallelujah!"...I told him "thank you".
So, I walked in the calm and quiet house with ds 3 working diligently on his homework while son 1 was working in his room. He called me later tonight when I was doing the Wednesday night soccer run (for son 2) and I said, "with the price of gas, I hate driving the 20 minutes back home to just turn around and come back 20 minutes later....but your brother (son 4) has to do his homework." He confidently said, "What does he need to do?" I said, "Well, he needs to read four books." He replied, "I DO know how to read, he'll be fine, I'll get him to bed for you."
I, again, couldn't believe my ears. It's amazing watching them grow and mature into young adults. This one could have chosen a different path, but he hasn't. Life for him (as he mentioned above) has not always been easy. Yet he is maturing and passing on the lessons he learned during those middle school years.
I guess that really is what it's all about. What we learn, we need to share. Thanks son 1 for sharing with your brothers tonight.
She Got in Trouble Again
Yesterday I got a radio call at work..."Mrs. N, can you go to the cafeteria and meet Mrs. C over an issue?" I answered "OK" and went over there. Now, it is not my job to handle behavior at our school...however I occasionally get called when everyone else is busy. Yesterday was a very busy day.
I walked into the cafeteria and Mrs. C was almost visibly shaking when she asked, "Are you here for me?" I told her "yes" as I glanced down at the discipline referral in her hand and listened to her tell me what happened. The child, Paula (not her real name), was a student that I had in my intensive reading class in third grade. She has been retained twice and therefore SHOULD be in the 7th grade this year. But she's stuck in 5th.
Anyway, she had trouble when they were lining up for lunch. Apparently, she got out of line to get something and when she moved back in...a boy thought she was pushing her way in. Words were exchanged...a push here...a shove there...and Paula dug her nails into his arm while standing her ground. Now, I am NOT saying what she did was OK.
When I took her out of the cafeteria, she had her head held low and tears in her eyes. THIS was the Paula that I know and love. She has always been like this...ever since she was in Kindergarten. I remember hearing her teacher say her name over and over again, "Paula do this...." "Paula do that...." "Paula put your hands down..." "No, Paula!" She always makes these rash decisions then shows great (and very real) remorse.
By the time I had her in third grade, she settled down some. She was frustrated, however, because she was doing third grade for the third time (stupid Florida law). But she really excelled in my class. She rose above it and passed the "test"...she gained self esteem and confidence beyond what I had seen before. She grew. She was less physical and more focused most of the time.
Back to yesterday: As we sat down outside to talk, she looked at me and said, "You know me, Mrs. N., I am a "fast acter" and when I get mad, I'm gonna' be physical. Plus that he pushed and pinched me!" I said, "Yes, I know that...but everytime you make that response, you always feel sorry when it is over, right?" She said, "I know, I know, I need to think before I act." I said, "exactly". I told her how I even sometimes make those decisions that I wish I didn't...you know, the words you wish you could take back?
Now, I know that Mrs. C. wanted her to go straight to detention. But, in my opinion, grace is not just for churches. It is only the 7th day of school. She deserved to say her piece. She deserved to be heard. She also showed remorse...and character... as she admitted her fault in this whole thing. She talked with the boy (with me present) and I think all is well between them.
Plus that, I can't imagine being in a fifth grade class with a bunch of kids who are supposed to be in seventh and lining up in a very small space....It must be hard. It's not just bodies, it's also hormones. I'm sure this is not the last bad decision she'll make this year. I just hope that being heard, and knowing that there is an adult that cares for her and her decisions, will help her stop being "fast acting" and to "think before she acts".
It's really a lesson we all could use occasionally.
I walked into the cafeteria and Mrs. C was almost visibly shaking when she asked, "Are you here for me?" I told her "yes" as I glanced down at the discipline referral in her hand and listened to her tell me what happened. The child, Paula (not her real name), was a student that I had in my intensive reading class in third grade. She has been retained twice and therefore SHOULD be in the 7th grade this year. But she's stuck in 5th.
Anyway, she had trouble when they were lining up for lunch. Apparently, she got out of line to get something and when she moved back in...a boy thought she was pushing her way in. Words were exchanged...a push here...a shove there...and Paula dug her nails into his arm while standing her ground. Now, I am NOT saying what she did was OK.
When I took her out of the cafeteria, she had her head held low and tears in her eyes. THIS was the Paula that I know and love. She has always been like this...ever since she was in Kindergarten. I remember hearing her teacher say her name over and over again, "Paula do this...." "Paula do that...." "Paula put your hands down..." "No, Paula!" She always makes these rash decisions then shows great (and very real) remorse.
By the time I had her in third grade, she settled down some. She was frustrated, however, because she was doing third grade for the third time (stupid Florida law). But she really excelled in my class. She rose above it and passed the "test"...she gained self esteem and confidence beyond what I had seen before. She grew. She was less physical and more focused most of the time.
Back to yesterday: As we sat down outside to talk, she looked at me and said, "You know me, Mrs. N., I am a "fast acter" and when I get mad, I'm gonna' be physical. Plus that he pushed and pinched me!" I said, "Yes, I know that...but everytime you make that response, you always feel sorry when it is over, right?" She said, "I know, I know, I need to think before I act." I said, "exactly". I told her how I even sometimes make those decisions that I wish I didn't...you know, the words you wish you could take back?
Now, I know that Mrs. C. wanted her to go straight to detention. But, in my opinion, grace is not just for churches. It is only the 7th day of school. She deserved to say her piece. She deserved to be heard. She also showed remorse...and character... as she admitted her fault in this whole thing. She talked with the boy (with me present) and I think all is well between them.
Plus that, I can't imagine being in a fifth grade class with a bunch of kids who are supposed to be in seventh and lining up in a very small space....It must be hard. It's not just bodies, it's also hormones. I'm sure this is not the last bad decision she'll make this year. I just hope that being heard, and knowing that there is an adult that cares for her and her decisions, will help her stop being "fast acting" and to "think before she acts".
It's really a lesson we all could use occasionally.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Teachers and Learning
Why is it that some teachers think that once they have entered the classroom, they know it all? I can't stand this. Everyday when I work with kids and in education, I realize how LITTLE I know and how much I have to learn. Yet, some people seem to think they are the epitome of teaching and learning and they have it all "figured out".
I once heard a presenter say, "Would you go to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years?" Of course, our answer is "NO WAY!" Yet, we have teachers who have been using the same lesson plans for just about that long.
It's a new day in education. There is accountability that is beyond what any of us have experienced. I now have to send in an accounting of my daily activity (hour by hour) to the state department of education. This is because of the type of job I hold, not because I am a teacher.
When I started teaching 19 years ago, we had to turn in lesson plans "occasionally"...now we are telling teachers what elements must be present in their lesson plans. The "little boxes" that we used to write in simply aren't enough. It's not OK to be a page turner anymore. Page turning (doing the next lesson because it is "next") is for those teachers who DON'T know their kids. We have to teach KIDS and not programs! The "I-know-it-all" people that I know...teach programs. They really are not about kids.
I know that the accountability is about kids (even though some of my colleagues may disagree). If I went to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years, I could make the decision to not go there again. Our kids, however, cannot make such decisions. Parents can. But they don't always. Some kids end up biding time in a room with a page turner. It could be any year, any state, anyplace. It really has nothing to do with who is sitting in the chairs of our classrooms.
It's time for a change. It's time to hold "feet to fire" and NOT let up until every kid has a quality teacher who knows him or her as a person and a learner.
I've got to go to work now, it's time to fill those cavities!
I once heard a presenter say, "Would you go to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years?" Of course, our answer is "NO WAY!" Yet, we have teachers who have been using the same lesson plans for just about that long.
It's a new day in education. There is accountability that is beyond what any of us have experienced. I now have to send in an accounting of my daily activity (hour by hour) to the state department of education. This is because of the type of job I hold, not because I am a teacher.
When I started teaching 19 years ago, we had to turn in lesson plans "occasionally"...now we are telling teachers what elements must be present in their lesson plans. The "little boxes" that we used to write in simply aren't enough. It's not OK to be a page turner anymore. Page turning (doing the next lesson because it is "next") is for those teachers who DON'T know their kids. We have to teach KIDS and not programs! The "I-know-it-all" people that I know...teach programs. They really are not about kids.
I know that the accountability is about kids (even though some of my colleagues may disagree). If I went to a dentist who had been using the same drill for 30 years, I could make the decision to not go there again. Our kids, however, cannot make such decisions. Parents can. But they don't always. Some kids end up biding time in a room with a page turner. It could be any year, any state, anyplace. It really has nothing to do with who is sitting in the chairs of our classrooms.
It's time for a change. It's time to hold "feet to fire" and NOT let up until every kid has a quality teacher who knows him or her as a person and a learner.
I've got to go to work now, it's time to fill those cavities!
Monday, August 15, 2005
World's Best Husband
I am married to one of the best husbands in the world! Today, we have been married for 18 years. I can't always say it has been roses...I am sure most married couples would say this. I CAN say that I KNOW God meant for us to be together. I also know that those storms that we have weathered in the past have brought us to a place of wonderful "wedded bliss" beyond my wildest dreams. And in many ways, I wouldn't trade any of those years. It is those experiences that brought us to a greater understanding of who we are and who we are supposed to be.
I know that I would not be where I am today without this man. He has encouraged me to reach for my dreams. And because of this, I have accomplished and experienced more than I could have imagined. He has given me the strength to say, "I think I can, I think I can..." while he is whispering in my ear, "I KNOW you can, I KNOW you can!" For this, I am so thankful.
And, of course, without him we would not have our four wonderful children. They are such a blessing to us. We watch them grow and are amazed at the young men they are becoming. I know much of that is due to his example of being a wonderful husband and father. I pray that they will be a blessing to their wives and children someday.
I am so proud of my husband. I don't tell him often enough just how much I appreciate all he does for us and for others. He gives tirelessly. He provides for us. He even cooks for us most of the time (thank goodness---because this is NOT my gift)!! But he also gives to the world around us. He works with others helping them create and establish churches that are relevant and meaningful to today's culture. He knows that by working with these places, he may be helping someone he never meets to have hope and faith.
God knew just what he was doing when he gave me this gift 18 years ago and for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I am looking forward with great anticipation to what the next 18 years will bring.
Happy Anniversary, Hon. I love you!!
I know that I would not be where I am today without this man. He has encouraged me to reach for my dreams. And because of this, I have accomplished and experienced more than I could have imagined. He has given me the strength to say, "I think I can, I think I can..." while he is whispering in my ear, "I KNOW you can, I KNOW you can!" For this, I am so thankful.
And, of course, without him we would not have our four wonderful children. They are such a blessing to us. We watch them grow and are amazed at the young men they are becoming. I know much of that is due to his example of being a wonderful husband and father. I pray that they will be a blessing to their wives and children someday.
I am so proud of my husband. I don't tell him often enough just how much I appreciate all he does for us and for others. He gives tirelessly. He provides for us. He even cooks for us most of the time (thank goodness---because this is NOT my gift)!! But he also gives to the world around us. He works with others helping them create and establish churches that are relevant and meaningful to today's culture. He knows that by working with these places, he may be helping someone he never meets to have hope and faith.
God knew just what he was doing when he gave me this gift 18 years ago and for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I am looking forward with great anticipation to what the next 18 years will bring.
Happy Anniversary, Hon. I love you!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)