Perception Perspective

I think that the concept of perception and perspective is quite interesting. Have you ever been around someone for the same "event" and then heard them describe it totally different than you would? Years ago I had a friend who always saw things much bigger than they were.

There were people mad at the church and her words would be, "Everyone's saying __________." Reality was there were one or two people that she knew saying something and suddenly it felt, to her, like EVERYONE was doing it. Or she'd proclaim "NO ONE wants to _________." And I'd ask who didn't want to ________. She'd respond with a small list of names. At first I thought she really was "off". As our friendship went on, I realized that this truly WAS her perception.

And, for most people, their perception is their reality.

I've been thinking about a situation that I've witnessed recently where my perspective tells me one thing, but someone else's perception is totally different. From my vantage point, it's easy to see that they (sorry for this usage of "they", I am choosing NOT to be gender specific here) have made choices that have caused the events that have happened around them. But in their mind, "everyone's picking on them" or "choosing to be negative" or "rejecting this person" or whatever the issue of the day happens to be.

I don't know how you change someone's perception. I don't know how you help them see the world through different eyes. Different heart. Different soul. With my friend I used to reflect back when she'd use those absolute words like everyone, noone and everything. I'd ask "how many?" "Who?" And often she'd start to see that perhaps she was making things bigger than they were.

My Bible reading has been WAY off kilter for some time. Part of my time this summer has been to get a grip on it once again. And, though I find it a bit odd, I've been hovering in the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah, as you may know, is sometimes called "the weeping prophet". The message that he had to deliver to Israel wasn't a happy one. He had to tell them they were wayward, they were off track...their perception: that all was OK and that they were living ok and making right choices and life was fine...was seriously off.

And they didn't listen. Jeremiah delivered this word for FORTY years! He faced opposition. He was thrown in jail. Again and again, he would speak truth to the people and again and again they would refuse to respond to it.

So it is with perception sometimes. I think it's our job, in some moments, to help people see the truth. It's hard because sometimes it hurts. And it's also our job to check our perception against what is really happening too. It's our job to say, "This is what I THINK I feel, see, hear, touch, perceive."

Still, the words of God speaking to Jeremiah are quite a comfort when we consider those "off moments". God continued to say "I have loved you wtih an everlasting love. I have drawn you with lovingkindness." (Jer. 31:3) It doesn't matter where you've been, what you've done, or anything else....GOD LOVES YOU and me with an EVERLASTING love. It is there whether we're in a pit or on a mountain. And, that my friends, is REALITY!

Summer Time Reading Continues

To say my blogging has been slack would be a serious understatement! I've thought about deleting it all together. I've wondered what I should do with it. Try as I may, though, I cannot just "do away with it". I don't know where it will go in the future, so I will take it one day at a time. One blog post at a time.

I thought I'd start with what I know I love to talk about--and have neglected so much the first 6 months of this year--BOOKS! I have finished two books recently that I want to share:

The first is written in my favorite genre: memoir/biography. It is Michael J. Fox's Lucky Man. This book is his story. It begins in a Gainesville hotel during the shooting of a movie, with the story of the "twitching pinkie" where Michael first really remembers noticing something was "off" about his body. Then it rambles back into his childhood to explain to the reader from "whence he came".

Fox paints a great picture of his journey into show-biz and some of the lessons he's learned along the way. Then, he poignantly tells about his inner struggle and physical battle as he is learning to live with the dreaded Parkinson's disease.

I loved Fox when he was Alex P. Keaton on the show Family Ties. I have enjoyed his performances in several movies and always found him quite interesting. For that reason, even when the book made twists and turns that were hard for me to follow, I pressed on. And I'm glad I did. His story is a powerful one.

My second "summer read" is a fiction story by Karen White called The Memory of Water. This book is the fictional story of Marnie and Diana Maitland who experienced a childhood tragedy on the South Carolina shore. Here is a bit of the back cover:

On the night their mother drowns, sisters Marnie and Diana Maitland discover there is more than one kind of death. There is the death of innocence, of love, and of hope. Each sister harbors a secret about that night-secrets that will erode their lives as they grow into adulthood.

After ten years of silence between the sisters, Marnie is called back to the South Carolina Lowcountry by Diana's ex-husband, Quinn. His young son has returned from a sailing trip with his emotionally unstable mother, and he is refusing to speak. In order to help the traumatized boy, Marnie must reopen old wounds and bring the darkest memories of their past to the surface. And she must confront Diana, before they all go under.

The story is one of sorrow and loss. It gives great detail what it is like living with someone who has been diagnosed manic/depressive or bipolar. White paints a beautiful picture of love despite this cloud that surrounds this family. The book is written in first-person narrative from each of the four main character's perspectives. I love that. And the ending caught me totally by surprise!

Both of these books were enjoyable for me. While I wouldn't call them "must reads", I'd say they are "worth it" reads if you choose to do so. Now I'm off to find my next book and to read some of your blogs. I've got a lot of catching up to d!

When May Comes...

Every year it happens.  May comes.  And every year since 2002, it's been the same for me.  

That was the year No Child Left Behind really took a foothold and third grade testing became a benchmark for promotion or retention.  There have always been tests.  Even when I was in school.  In the past, the purpose of testing wasn't so bad.  

I mean who DOESN'T want to know that their child is being taught at the highest level possible? And who wouldn't want to hold schools accountable for doing "right" by their "customers"--the students?  In the late 90's though, our state started giving every school a grade.  A report card if you will.  I suppose that'd be OK as long as we realize that we don't all start out on level ground.  

Some schools are filled with students that have every benefit in their lives.  They have parents that love them and give them many experiences upon which to build their education.  These students often have a zest for learning.   Others are filled with kids who wonder where their next meal will come from.  Or if Dad and Mom will fight again tonight...or even if they'll be home. Some come from places that are so impoverished that their lessons take place on the streets and have little or nothing to do with textbooks or pedagogy.     Still other schools are filled with a mixture of these two ends of the student spectrum.  Yet, we grade them all based on similar criteria.  

A few years after grading began is when we really had to look at individual students.  The third grade year was selected as a benchmark year.  After all, if a child can't read by the time he or she is eight or nine years old, there is probably a problem.  Thus, mandatory retention began.  The rule was (and is) that a child who scores in the lowest range on our state test MUST be retained in the third grade.  

Our lawmakers are not totally heartless.  No.  They developed some loopholes.  Some "good cause" criteria that allows a student to possibly be passed on when they score at the lowest level on the single assessment.  Here are a few of the criteria: 

*  If a child has been in the country less than 2 years and speaks no English, he or she can move to fourth grade.  

*  If a student demonstrates an acceptable level of performance on an alternative test.  

*  If a student has had an IEP for more than 2 years AND has been retained already at least ONE time. 

*  If a student has had intensive remediation in reading for more than two years AND has been retained TWO times.

So, every year, the scores come in and we find out who "didn't make it".  We look carefully to see if we can articulate for any of them based on the criteria.  And then we start documenting it all.  And every parent of every child who does not meet criteria gets a phone call home letting them know that their child...their pride and joy...didn't "pass" the third grade.  

Some years, the phone call sounds like one I had to make last week:  "Your child did not pass the state test again.  I know (_____) was in third grade for the last two years, but (_____) have to do third grade a THIRD time.  It's the law."  And it hurts me like CRAZY!  Three YEARS in the third grade???  For what!?!?!  

So, while I've called the "first timers" and even some who will now be on their "second retention in 4 years"...it's the one above that simply makes my passion flame.  (_____) has had a lot of remediation.  (_____) has had other test scores that indicate being on level or just below, but not failing.  There's even a twin who will be ahead of (______) now by TWO years if this goes through.  And a younger sibling who has also now passed (_____) by. (_____) will turn eleven years old in October. IT BREAKS MY HEART!  

Today, we broke the mold of checking one of the criteria and documenting it.  Today, we wrote a narrative to introduce those people who make the decisions to this child.  We are pleading the case and doing all we can under this law to help (_____) make it to the fourth grade. 

While I hate it, this is also the time of year when I know I'm doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I belong in education and at the school where I am.  For that, I am thankful.  

Still, tonight I'm whispering a prayer.  I'm praying this child, and all the others in our state with similar stories have someone to articulate for them.  I'm praying that someone will see the whole picture and make the right decision here.  After all, this child's future depends on it.  

He's 21 Today!

My DS 1 is 21 today!  He's away finishing up his AIT for the Army.  I have to admit that having him in the service makes me view Memorial Day a bit differently.  In many ways, today I celebrate him for two reasons.  First and foremost because he's my son.  And second because he's chosen to serve our country through military service.  

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was in the doctor's office on the 25th of May in KY hearing the news, "It's going to be at least two more weeks."  Two more weeks?  I had already been on "bed rest" for four weeks due to preterm labor!  I was going stir crazy!  Tears came easily as DH and I left that visit.  

We went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday's where I had a mushroom burger.  Leaving lunch, I could barely walk my back suddenly hurt SO bad!  We headed back over to the doctor's office where the nurse told us, "You need to get to the hospital.  You're in labor!"  What???  

Just a few hours later we were able to hold our firstborn son in our arms.  I can remember nothing as sweet as knowing that he was ours.  I remember staring with wonder at the miracle of his birth.  

Now, 21 years later, I am still amazed at just how their life's journey goes.  It twists.  It turns. Some parts aren't so pretty.  But still, we can marvel at just what a miracle life is and how every twist and turn defines the man he is becoming.  

I couldn't be more proud of him or his accomplishments.  Happy birthday, son!  I love you!

Who Knew?

My DS 4 has been sick this week.  He's got a horrible cough and this morning it turned to "croup".  On Monday, I stayed home with him cause I wasn't feeling well.  On Tuesday, I had to go to a meeting, so DH stayed home with him.  Today, DH and I both had a full schedule...so we did what we normally do when that happens:

We called "back-up".  Our back-up is...GRANDMA!  She's run sick bay on more days than I can count over the years we've lived in the same town.  And she is always so pleasant about it.  I can't tell you how much of a blessing it is to be able to call her (and Grandpa) at 0'dark hundred and say, "can you?" and without hesitation they answer, "of course!"

Today, as DS 4 and I headed over to Grandma's, he was coughing.  I told him that it should settle down because he'd just taken meds.  He said, "I'm sure some of Grandma's Cinnamon Toast will help my throat feel better.  It's so warm and soothing."  

I have to say I never really considered the healing powers of cinnamon toast, but thanks to DS 4 now I know!  

A Confession and a Book Review

I've felt the guilt for months now.  Yesterday, my blogging friend Marilyn helped me realize it's time to come clean.  If you've read this blog for any time at all, then you know that I love to read and write book reviews to share with you.  For the past two years, my reading has been pretty consistent.  I reviewed 23 books in 2007 and 21 in 2008.  

I know some of you read much MORE than that.   I read quite a bit professionally in my line of work that I don't share here.  Still, my pleasure reading has fallen WAY down so far this year.  After finishing the Twilight series in December, it took me until NOW to finish a book!  I have t

hree more that I am in the midst of reading...with no idea when I'll get them finished.  

Anyway, at jury duty last week, I FINALLY completed my first book of the year, Finding Home by Jim Daly.  So, I say "better late than never" and thanks, Marilyn, for the swift kick in the rear!  

Jim Daly is currently the President of Focus on the Family ministries.  This book is HIS story.  Jim was born into a family that could have been the poster family for dysfunctional.  Here's a snippet of Publisher's Weekly's review:  

Daly's childhood family sorely needed focus: the last of five children born to aging alcoholics, young Jimmy experienced his father's abandonment, his stepfather's rages, his mother's death and several years with a gloriously insane foster family living next to their own personal garbage dump. He apparently avoided beatings and sexual abuse, though his chirpy coauthor rarely plumbs the depths of Daly's probable anguish. Rather than looking inward, the young adolescent developed a pragmatic philosophy of survival: "Keep your expectations low. That way you don't get hurt." 

And the list goes on.  He really had no faith background to speak of.  As a child, Jim lived in the projects with his single mother.  He witnessed a murder outside his bedroom window.   He was not permitted to visit his mother while she lay on her death bed due to his controlling stepfather.  Later, as a foster child, he was approached by an older foster brother with sexual intentions.  By God's grace, there was intervention for him in that situation.  

It almost seemed surreal when I read the book.  I kept asking myself, "HOW could one man experience so much heartache and despair, yet turn into the president of Focus?"  Jim does take the time to answer this question towards the end of his book.  Still, I think it's no less than a miracle.  With all of his experiences, statistics show he should be in prison or on the streets today.  It's evident, though, that God pursued Jim through all those years.  

This book should NEVER take anyone four months to read!  While reading, I was reminded again and again that every choice we make impacts someone else.  Some greater than others.  And, honestly, I found myself questioning some of the choices made by Jim's "family".  In some cases, like when they went to foster care, I wondered WHY?  He had an adult brother at that point. There were "nice family friends" in the suburbs that might have taken them in...or at least found better help for these kids.  Then, I wondered how many times I've had the chance to be someone's hope and yet turned my head.  

Jim's story is a great story of perseverance and hope.  It is in my favorite genre: biography.  And it reminds us that there are still people right in our own neighborhoods that need us to be avenues of hope and help in their time of need.  Most of all, though, it is a powerful picture that tells us our circumstances don't have to define the person we become.  That, ultimately, can and should be defined by God, our protector and creator who is there pursuing us with his grace even when we don't know or understand it.  I don't know a better (or more awesome) message than that!  

It's Monday and I'm not feeling great.  I stayed home from work because I can't even hold my head up!  UGH!  Here's a little update from my weekend:

Friday night was supposed to be the school carnival.  It rained, so it was canceled.  I won't say I was heartbroken.  I had been at school every night of last week until 8pm or later.  So, a night off was a blessing.  The carnival has been rescheduled to Thursday of this week.  I hate how busy the end of the year gets!  

Saturday I was back at school for our Kindergarten roundup.  Then I took DS 2 and 3 shopping.  DS 2 had a photo shoot on Sunday.  The directions were "Raid your parents' closets.  Think vintage."  So we went to Goodwill and then to the mall to get him new jeans.  It was a LONG afternoon, but we definitely found vintage!  

Sunday morning DS 2 and I headed to his photo shoot.  The room was filled with kids through adults.  Everyone had an appt. time.  We brought two LARGE suitcases FILLED with clothes for him.  I think he wore about 8 pieces total in the 4 hours we were there.  Still, they said "You cannot bring too much."  That's how they get options.  Now he goes to one rehearsal weekend and then will participate in the week long competition in several different categories this summer.  

We got home last night and I just CHILLED.  I was/am exhausted!  

I did get to talk to DS 1 this weekend.  He's doing well.  He's ready to head out to the final days of his training...which I guess is "in the field".  He's training to be a combat medic.  He says they have very expensive models/dummies that are computerized and look real.  The officers/trainers watch you from a room via cameras and you go into the field and "treat" the patient.  The people in the room can turn off things like bleeding when the procedures are done right.  

So, beside the fact that I don't feel great...all is well in our world.  Hope all's well in yours too!

The Circus Came to Town...

Tomorrow culminates a very busy week for me at school.  Every year our school (which has an Arts instructional focus) puts on a HUGE production.  You might remember a few years ago when DS 4 was in the Jungle Book.  He "skipped" last year's production and then got involved again this year for the "Greatest Show on Earth".   He was in the clown troupe and loved learning from a "real" Ringling Bros. clown!  

Here are a couple of pics of him in costume and on stage in the "bucket brigade".

In addition to our arts focus, we have several families who have traveled (or still travel) with major circuses in our country.  One of the neat tributes in this show was a film highlighting photos and video footage of these families in their circus performances.  

Two of the families even had their children perform special acts.  The Suarez family juggled.  And the Wallenda's (of the famous "Flying Wallendas") did tightrope.  Isn't that neat?  

My room has been a dressing room/holding room while we've waited to go on stage this week. This has made for some very interesting photo ops.  

The kids had a ball.  The teachers are WORN OUT!  I have to say, though, I am so thankful that I work in a place that does this sort of thing.  It helps kids discover avenues to exercise their creativity and opportunities to showcase their talents.  

Just look how BIG the cast was!  It truly was a GREAT show!

Finally, an Update!!

OK, I'm sitting here on Jury Duty, and I said to myself, "What better time to update your blog than now?" Soooooo, here we go:

These have been two crazy months for us. Spring fever hit me hard and I have done very little blogging and/or blog reading. I had other things that had to take priority and so they did. Since so much has happened in our lives, I'm going to do a person-by-person update:

DS 1 is in Texas finishing up his training for Army National Guard. DS 2 and my DH went out to see him a few weeks ago. They had a great time hanging out and playing disc golf. They went to the Alamo and saw some of the San Antonio sights. DS 1 will come back here in June (after graduation) and begin school at the University of Florida this Fall. He'll remain in the National Guard while he does that, then decide if he wants to fully enlist or not. I'm so proud of him! I just can't wait to see him again...cause I also miss him a great deal.

DS 2 has been busy finishing his first year of college. He's done well. Now he's going to compete in a national acting, modeling, and talent competition this summer. In that competition he'll be seen by hundreds of agents and casting people. I don't know what his future holds, but I sure am excited to watch it. I love it that he continues to learn and grow and seek God's best for him.

DS 3 was selected as the Sophomore Class President. He's doing well and is looking forward to the summer when he'll turn 15 and start DRIVING. It's a little weird, still, for me to think about the fact that he can fly a glider OVER my head and not drive. It will all align soon. Anyway, he's busy working out with his brother and also is developing a love for disc golf.

DS 4 is getting ready to be in the school play this week. They are doing the circus and he is a clown. He has had the opportunity to be trained by "real circus clowns" from clown college. He also tried out for our TV news crew at school and was selected for patrols next year. It's hard for me to believe that he's reached this stage of his life. Yet, I confess...I'm GLAD!!

DH has not traveled too much in recent weeks. He is helping a lot at the church we are attending. We moved to a new building and he is doing a lot of the coordination there. He'll begin traveling more in August...sounds like it'll be a good portion of August through October. Everyday when I come home and he has dinner ready or the laundry done, I know how blessed I am!! A week or so ago, I was thanking God for him and the word "steadfast" kept coming to my mind. The man IS steadfast and I'm so glad!!

As for me, I'm winding up another school year. My job is being eliminated, so it means I'll shift my focus next year. I'm so sad, though, because I have several colleagues who have either lost jobs or been moved to other schools unwillingly. It's a very HARD time in so many companies and organizations...and ours is no different. We do, however, have such a great staff that continues to support those who are having to move or be displaced. Everyday I am so sure that I am still doing exactly what I am called to do. I love that!

I spent a lovely day with my Mom yesterday. I feel a bit guilty that I don't get up there as often as I should. I am thankful for her and for the grace that she extends me regularly.

This week is going to be VERY busy! I am out every. single. night. My boss nominated me for "Literacy Teacher of the Year", so that banquet is tomorrow. I teach Wednesday night. Thursday is the circus. Friday is our carnival. Saturday is our Kindergarten Round-up. Sunday, we CRASH REST! I sincerely hope to get back to regular blogging very soon.

Well, the jury break is over and I am now going to wait some more. I think I'll do a little surfing and try to catch up with some of you.

Have a FABULOUS week!!

You might remember that last year, we created a video at my school to help get the kids motivated for our state test. This year, our motivational video is a parody of Mama Mia called "I Can Read It". I work at one of the best schools on the planet! These teachers love kids, learning, and as the video shows...fun!

Where Have You Been...

As I prepared to write this post, a little song that I learned as a child kept swimming in my head:

"Where have you been Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
Where have you been charming Billy?
I have been to see my wife,
She's the darling of my life.
She's a young thing, who cannot leave her mother."

I'll be honest, there's a lot "swimming in my head" these days. This is just one thing. Upon further reflection, here's what I noted; I haven't been out to "see my wife" and I am not a "young thing who cannot leave her mother".

OK, so I don't know WHY that song seemed appropriate to use in this post! Even though I know I am quite guilty of "blog neglect," this is STILL my blog and I'll quote as I want to. :-)Besides, it might give you "therapist types" good fodder.

Seriously, there's not much excuse for where I've been to explain where I haven't been. I just haven't. We'll leave it at that.

I DO keep up with most of my blogging friends through my blogger newsfeed. But I still like to get around and visit and comment and let everyone know that I still care and I haven't totally left the planet.

I can't say I will be around every day this week. I'll try, though. So, let me take a stab at my own version of the "Billy Boy" song:

"Oh where have you been Susan, girl? Susan, girl?
Oh, where have you been Blogging Susan?
I have been out of the loop
And believe me that's the truth
I wish I could give you something better!"

And, just so this little post doesn't leave you without a little lesson....heeeere's a performance of Billy Boy complete with chords so you can serenade yourself!



Hugs to you all! I'll be back to catch up soon!

Inside His Head...

I love talking with my kids. It's fun to hear what is happening in their lives and working through their day-to-day journey with them. I had an interesting conversation with DS 4 the other day:

The other day on our way home from school, DS 4 said, "Do you automatically work when you retire?" We talked about the fact that people usually retire from a career that they have done for a very long time. Some people end up working a little "fun job" for a few years or they go back to work to make a little extra money to support them in their retirement.

He said, "So a person could work at Disney World when they retire?" I reminded him how many people we saw at the park the other day who were older and most likely retired. He talked about the coolness factor of working at Disney and how fun it would be. Then he said, "Hmm...I think when I retire I might work at Disney...that is if I am willing to make that two hour drive to work."

I have two observations:

1. Perhaps you should choose a career before you choose what you'll do in your retirement years.

and

2. Good Lord, he really DOES think he's going to live with his Dad and me forever!!

Forever Friends

We met 27 years ago this coming Fall. It was our freshman year of college. I don't know exactly HOW it happened, but I'm so glad it did!

The year was 1982. Three of us lived in the same dorm. We had a very large group of friends who enjoyed hanging out, walking around the lake that bordered our college, laughing, eating pizza, talking till all hours of the night and learning together. We went to church together. We participated in campus activities together. It wasn't long until the four of us decided that we would room somewhat together the following year: Beth with Leigh and Lala with me.

Beth and Leigh lived downstairs. Lala and I lived upstairs. Still, we were often found in each other's rooms. Since we were all Elementary Education majors, we even shared many classes. As the years went by, we continued to laugh and cry and grow together.

I cannot describe how precious these friendships were (and are) to me. I can tell you, though, that I know it was a very special time. The four of us shared everything with one another. I can honestly say that DH and I are probably together today because two of these girls asked HIM to take me to my sorority formal. There is no question that they set it in motion.

A short year after we graduated, three of us were married. Two years later, the fourth was married. All of us were in each other's weddings. I'm sure there were times we vowed to "stick together" even as our lives changed and we began our families. And in some ways we have. Over the years, one or two of us would get together and catch up.

Still, sometimes life and time get in the way of nurturing relationships. It happens and it's sad. The last time the four of us were together at the same time was about 18 years ago. Until now.

This weekend, we came together and spent time reconnecting. It took no time at all. In fact, it seemed that not one second had passed since the last time we were together. We laughed. We remembered.

What we have is a real bond. It is a precious "forever friendship" that withstands the test of time and distance. I could not be more blessed. It is so true that a true friend is a treasure...and these are true forever friends!

One thing we know for sure after our time away is that it won't be another 18 years before we are together again!

Mall Blitz Part 2 and Spring Break

The Mall Blitz that I blogged about below did not end on Sunday. My DH called the mall manager yesterday and explained to her what we were trying to do with our kindness outreach. She thought it was so cool. She did explain to DH that they do not allow solicitation from store to store, but that what we were doing was fine.

So, tonight, three of us headed to the mall to deliver the other 151 bags. It was even neater than the initial day. Store managers were blown away that we even made the attempt to come back and finish what we started. The head of security (who we did NOT meet on Sunday) came and met me. He even said, "Make sure you deliver the biggest bag to Leon" (his name). So, guess who's getting bags TOMORROW??? Yep, you guessed it! Security!!

This is our Spring Break, so I'm enjoying some free time this week. We went to Chris Tomlin's concert last Friday. My colleagues and I enjoyed a brunch with a person who used to teach at my school on Monday. DS 2 and DS 3 played a "bowling game" on the radio station today and will be bowling with the guys from Jars of Clay on Thursday. There may be a Disney Day in here.

BUT the biggest part of the week for me is happening on Friday/Saturday. I am going to be meeting up with my three BEST friends and roommates from college. We were all in each other's weddings. We were absolutely best of friends in college. We have seen each other sporadically over the years...but we have not, the four of us, been together in the same room for more than 18 years! I am SO EXCITED!!

Stay posted. It may be a couple of days, but there's more to come!

A TRUE Lesson in Kindness

If you've read this blog for any time at all, then you know that our church does many many outreach types of projects in our community. It's our goal to conduct "random acts of kindness" in a variety of ways on a regular basis for people of all socio-economic backgrounds.

Back in December, we conducted our first "Mall Blitz" where we literally went into the mall and gave 450 employees a gift bag of snacks and goodies to say "thank you" for all the work they do..especially during the busy shopping season.

Today was to be our second Mall Blitz. We called all the store managers for permission just like we did back in December. These made for some fabulous conversations as many were the same employees that received our gift at Christmas. Some said, "Wow, we really appreciate this! No one EVER does anything nice for us!" Others said, "We are so glad you're coming back...we really want to thank you for showing such a special kindness to our employees. It meant a lot to all of us."

Today, as part of our service, we made 486 bags and sent five teams of five down to the mall for distribution.

It wasn't long after we got there, that a parking lot security guard stopped and asked us what we were doing. We told him. He said, "You cannot bring those bags in here. You have to have permission of the mall manager." We explained that we have the permission of the store managers and that we were simply repeating the SAME THING we did at Christmas. He basically didn't care.

We asked if a store manager wanted to bring in treat bags for their own employees, would it be OK. He wasn't happy, but didn't say no. SO, we sat almost 200 bags just outside the door of the mall and began going in and explaining to the store managers. They were very surprised. They thought it was quite silly. Many followed us to the bags and took them into the mall for their own employees.

Suddenly, Mr. Security guard showed up with "back up" (3 more security guards) and told us we could not distribute one more bag at the mall. He told a store manager that she could not take these bags in for her OWN employees. And he let us know that if we did not take the bags away that he would have to call the police.

Of course, we complied and took the mall manager's name and phone number as well as his so that we can, in fact, follow the protocol in the future. We visited every single store that didn't receive their gift to explain that we were not allowed to deliver them or to have the store managers get them.

I now have 151 bags at my house. This means that we were able to distribute the majority of the bags before our "kindness operation" was shut down---or, hopefully, put on hold, pending the mall manager's approval.

Our team stayed to have lunch together in the food court. It was an enjoyable time of fellowship together. We talked about future projects. We laughed and had a great time.


If I'm being honest, though, I really was quite miffed at the whole thing. I mean, picture it--bags filled with snack items for employees---really within their grasp, but we can't give them what we promised. Then, I had another thought...it's EASY to be, do, and give kindness to those who welcome your actions. It's a whole other story to be kind to someone who is standing in your way, being difficult, or doesn't see a situation the same way that you do.

I whispered a prayer for the security guards and the mall employees. I thanked God for our fabulous team that remained positive and steady through the whole ordeal. And I prayed that tomorrow things will work out with the mall manager.

And I prayed that when the opportunity to practice kindness when someone isn't being so kind, that we will all be able to do so. Cause THAT'S what "Jesus would do."

Tea Cup Pinkie Up!

Did you have tea parties when you were younger? I did. We would sit and hold our tea cups and pretend to be so refined and knowledgable about the finer things in life. And for some reason, we'd always hold our pinkie up. What's with that?

I've decided there are some moments that are "pinkie up" moments. You know the ones when you want to sound "SO intelligent" but you don't know what the heck you are talking about? I had a "pinkie up" moment this morning.

I am reviewing a manuscript for an educational publisher who is creating a book series for 1st grade students. The books each focus on a different aspect of art. They are being developed as leveled readers for teachers to use in their daily small group reading instruction. My job is to give feedback on the writing, make sure it's not too complicated for young readers, and help with the book leveling.

I know what you're thinking: "You had a 'pinkie up' moment over something that is designed for six and seven-year-olds?" Here's the editor's note to me regarding one of the books:

We don’t show any very famous great works by any masters of the Renaissance, the impressionists, etc. I don’t really think that’s a problem at this level. Do you
agree? (Also, please keep in mind that it is prohibitively expensive to get permission to reproduce anything from Picasso’s cubist period, geometric as they may be.)

Uh, yes? No? I don't know, but I don't want to tell you that I don't know. The truth is, I DROPPED out of "Great Works of Art"--a 1 credit course at my liberal arts college---not once, but TWICE! I know I live in a town with a very famous school of art. Heck, I even TEACH in a school that was designated as a "National School of Distinction in Arts Education"!

When I really put my pinkie down and admit the cold hard truth, you'll know that I don't know the "masters of the Renaissance" from an impressionist. I could GUESS at a Picasso, but honestly (and with apologies to any of you who are art aficionados), I think some of his work looks a little like the K/1 students at my school!

Honestly I HAVE grown a bit in the last 20+ years since I attempted those college courses. Still, art appreciation, is not my forte'.

So, I said and did the only thing a good book consultant WOULD say to the primary editor:

I put my pinkie UP and said, "Of course, I agree!"


Hello, My name is Susan, and I have a pinkie problem!

The Mark of a Good Friend

I am home sick today. As a result, I didn't get out of my PJ's right away. DH had a few meetings. DS 3 is off at school. DS 4 is also here with me hacking and coughing away. DS 2 headed out to school about 8:30.

Around 9:15am I was making some toast and I heard someone knock on the door. My first thought was, "WHO could that be? I look horrible and I don't have proper clothes on!" It turned out to be a friend of my older boys who lives down the road. Actually, he is more like an extra brother to my boys. They are very close.

Anyway, I said "Hi, M! Did you need something?" M said, "Yeah, your [DS2] asked me to drop by." I let him in thinking my son probably forgot a book or an assignment for a class today. And right after I thought how nice it is that my boys have such good friends, M said, "Yeah, he wants me to get his deoderant. Do you know where it might be?"

Uh, did he say "deoderant"??? Yep, he did! I helped him find it and sent him on his way I'm sure much to the approval of everyone who crosses my DS 2's path today! Now, THAT'S a good friend!!

What's a Little Wind?

We reached the festival grounds early Saturday morning. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, but we knew it wouldn’t be long before it popped through and stayed for all to enjoy. The wind blew as if to cry out to all who were outside, “I AM March!” Still, the vendors set up their wares and their information tables ready to serve the community and enjoy a beautiful spring day together with outside.

We were armed with seed packets, seed pots, and the beads and stickers to decorate them. We set up our information booth, with three display boards, just in case adults had questions about our church. This was just one of many of our church’s spring outreach events here in the community.

The wind doesn’t really gust here much in March. Really, it rarely gusts on a day when it’s pretty and sunny outside. We do live in hurricane alley! We get our all day wind gusts from June 1st through November. Not March. This day, though, was different. It didn’t just blow a little every now and then. It BLEW steady all day long with several bursts of air that were like those we get when a hurricane looms. (We later learned there were bursts of up to 42 mph. at times.)

It wasn’t long before one of our display boards blew over. Good grief it almost flattened a silver-haired festival attendee! All I could think was “Thank GOD it missed her! We’d have had to pay more than our entrance fee to this festival for THAT fiasco!” We shuffled things around, rescued some of the cool things that we have to share, and reorganized again trying to beat the wind at her game.

It wasn’t long until we removed the “event-required” plastic table covers from our tables. They were annoying anyone who stood near as they flapped around their legs. Then we made a run to a near-by church member’s house to get heavy glass bowls to replace our plastic craft containers that kept blowing off the tables. Each adjustment made the presentation look a bit more sparse when compared with the initial look, while also making everything less palatable for workers and visitors.

Our seed pots, which were made of pressed cardboard, blew easily out of kids’ hands as they tried to decorate. I can’t tell you how many flower shaped sticker backs have now blown into the cow pasture despite our best efforts to peel and throw away immediately! One little girl saw a bead fly and said, “Oh no! What if an animal eats it?”

Another little boy, whose Mother told me was Jewish, sat on the ground and picked up hundreds of tiny little beads after they flew with a huge gust of wind. She told me this was his mitzvah or “good deed” for the day. Maybe, but honestly, I sensed that he may also fall somewhere on the Autism spectrum. Still, he painstakingly picked up every. Single. Bead. I was thankful.

Many vendors experienced broken and/or bent tents/coverings and badly damaged displays. Some lost fliers in the wind gusts. Others were simply frustrated. By 3:00pm it seemed that many of them had had enough and they packed up to head home. We followed as soon as we saw that there really weren’t more than five vendors left at the event.

You might read this and think, “Wow, why DID you stay out there?” or “Why are you telling me this?” Here’s why:

Despite the wind changing our display and the procedure for completing the craft we had planned, and running into a few other little hurdles that had to be overcome, we still were able to talk to more than 200 people that day! We handed out bags of scrapbooking stickers to adults and made the craft with the kids.

When we asked the children passing by, “Do you want to make a flower pot craft?” or “Would you like some bubbles and a Frisbee?” Several people wanted to know “How much does it cost?” We said, “Nothing. It’s free!” They wondered “why?” We were able to say, “Because we want to show kindness to people in the community. It’s our way of saying, ‘God loves you’.” And they would reply, “WOW! Thank you! It’s so neat that you are staying despite all this wind.”

When I was home later that afternoon, wind burned and tired, I thought about these words from Matthew 7:23-25

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is
like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the
streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not
fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

And to that, I say: “What’s a little wind?”

I'm going to church today but...

I already had a "sermon moment" on Friday afternoon at shool. I was out on my regular afternoon duty--directing cars in the parking lot. Here's what that looks like:

Kids line up in clusters of letters that are color coded. For example, A/B is yellow, CDE is red, and FGH is orange. Cars wait until there is a hole at their child's color and then we pull them in there. My job is to keep them in line and direct them when the openings occur. Even though it may seem to be a pain for parents, we move about 400 children and their cars out in about 10 - 15 minutes. I don't think that's too bad.

As you might expect, there are ALWAYS those who don't WANT to wait in line and try to scoot around other cars. I usually stand in the middle of the passing lane to prevent this from happening. I've sent them back around to put themselves in line properly if they try and cut in line.

Honestly, this whole thing has taught me that apples don't often fall far from trees. The parents who think the rules and procedures don't apply to them are the same ones who wonder why their child can't behave in school.

OK, back to Friday. One tattooed, ear-pierced, rough-looking father pulled in driving his battered van. He immediately pulled around the first ten cars in line to a spot that was "open" near the front. It was a space, but it was there for cars that may have needed to exit from another direction. He was heading to orange. There were three other cars in front of him waiting for the same spot.

The minute the car at orange started to pull out, he started to ease out of his spot ready to make a bee-line for it. I stood in front of his car and motioned for him to roll down the window. I smiled and said, "You have three cars waiting for orange in front of you. And, by the way, you may have also passed some other cars waiting for orange when you cut in front of all those cars behind you."

His reply was priceless: "I'm only doing unto others what they do unto me!"

I said, "You still have to follow the rules and it's "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." In other words, treat others the way you WANT to be treated! Thank you for waiting."

He smirked and although I knew he wasn't happy, he waited.

I am fairly certain he didn't know that he was was trying to quote scripture to me. And I'm certain he didn't know that just a few weeks ago the entire school read the book pictured above called The Golden Rule.

For me, I wondered just how many times I twist my own faith lessons to meet my own desires. The second thing I thought was: "In my opinion, this story will preach!"

When "Normal"...isn't!

The teacher called me yesterday and told me that she received an email from the school registrar. She’d been concerned about a student who has not missed a day this year and suddenly has been out for three days. The boy’s Dad is a bit different and makes them toe the line, and then some. In fact, it’s caused concern in the past. The boy, his brother and their Dad are considered “homeless”—although they do have a roof over their head.

The email read something like this: “The boys’ Dad took them to see their Mom in another city about three hours away this past Friday. He told the Mom he’d return for them on Sunday. He didn’t come. On Monday he still didn’t come. By Tuesday, he called and told her he wasn’t coming. She’d have to figure out what to do with them.” Abandoned, in a way. Just. Like. That.

******
He entered our school yesterday; a Kindergarten student who was quite reluctant to be here. There was concern among the staff because he’s living with his “cousin” who is also in one of our K classes. The cousin is rather unstable and a bit whiny. This new boy arrived and the struggle began.

He kicked. He flailed. He cried. He screamed. He broke things. He made it quite clear he did not want to be here. He made it less than an hour and was sent home because he simply disrupted the entire campus.

All I can think is, “He’s FIVE!” Later I learned that his Mom’s in jail. Dad is living with a Stepmother and he, too, has “issues”.

*****
She came to me a few days ago with huge crocodile tears in her eyes. She was visibly shaken and angry. When I asked what was wrong--words flew out of her mouth. It was a “he said/she said” school bus story-knot that I could barely follow.

It turned out there had been a referral for her behavior the day before. She was to take it home and have it signed. Instead, she tore it to shreds. One adult at the school put the shreds into an envelope and explained that she WOULD take it home and show her Mother.

She was scared. Except it wasn’t the normal kind of scared. It was true FEAR. Besides, it was her Mother who told her, “If someone hits you, you stand up and hit ‘em back!” It’s a survival skill she’ll need for her neighborhood and probably for the rest of her life.

I wonder just how you draw that line when they have to learn to survive in a world that I have only briefly glimpsed. It’s a fine line, for sure.
*****
Her Mother dropped her off yesterday in the wrong uniform. It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. She is dirty and unkempt. Her long blonde hair appears to have been un-brushed for days.

Her teacher saw her in the hallway and asked where she was going. The girl replied, “I have to go get a uniform shirt.” The teacher said, “Where are your shirts? Don’t you have five?” The girl sheepishly responded, “Yeah, I have them, but some are at my Grandma’s and none are clean at my house.”

As the girl headed toward the uniform loan closet, the teacher shook her head and said, “One of our suitcase kids.” She never knows where she’ll be staying from night to night.
*****
He comes to school with his two brothers. They are 10, 7, and 6. There are four MORE brothers (4 and under) at home. Seven boys! They live in a two room hotel room where Dad does caretaking for the manager. The boys sleep on army cots that can be easily folded and stored during the day. They have been given many things by people at the school and in the community. Still, they struggle.

The oldest boy (remember he’s 10) sometimes misses school because it’s his day to “babysit. his siblings.” Babysit? Four young children? That’s right. Babysit.

The three school-aged children are part of a program where they take food home every Friday. A HUGE bag of food! Yet, they have told adults at the school that each family member has to rotate a night going without food so that there is enough to stretch out for the week. When it’s “your night’ not to eat…you are famished by the time you get to school the next day.
****

These vignettes are not "race specific". In fact, of the families discussed above, there are four different ethnicities represented. I could go on and on with these stories. They are part of my everyday life. And these are just a few of which I am aware. They break my heart. Here’s the thing that just rolls over and over in my head, though.

It’s “normal” for them. They don’t know any different type of life.

I can tell you that one thing I have learned in my time working with this population: just because I have a “different” normal, doesn’t make mine more right and theirs wrong. Initially, while working in the inner city of Tampa (which was MUCH rougher than where I am now), I learned that I wasn’t there to “save kids”. I wasn’t there to “rescue them” from their environment, their dysfunctional families, their upbringing. I was there to show them how to be the best young man or woman they could be. I was there to give them educational skills and strategies that would help them.

Some will leave it. No doubt. Some will not. Helping them means giving them tools for survival and hope for their future no matter where that happens to be.

For me, it is my calling. It is what I was designed to do. Every day I am thankful that I have the chance to hug a child that may not have been hugged that day. I have the opportunity to speak positive words into their lives. I have a chance to show them unconditional love. I get to smile with them, laugh with them, and talk with them. I am able to wipe away tears. I get to assure them when they're mad that I still care for them. I get to teach them. I am blessed to work in a place with so many adults who share that calling. It's quite special to me.

For me, there's nothing more normal than that!

What a Weekend!!

This was quite a busy weekend! Although it was busy, it was also fulfilling.

Friday night I went with three friends for a "Girls' Night Out" as we went to see the musical Wicked! Our seats were fabulous...and we treated ourselves to a great dinner at PF Changs before the show. We laughed and enjoyed our "Estrogen Only" evening! We decided we are going to do it more. Our next adventure will be to see the new "Menopause the Musical" type show called "Waist Watchers" in Tampa. I CAN'T WAIT!!

I got home from the show around 1:30am and enjoyed a little middle-of-the-night conversation with my DS 2. He's a night owl and was up playing Nintendo at a friend's house. He came home about the same time and we visited for a bit before I really called it a night.

Saturday, DS 3 and DH went to an airshow. They love doing this and this is the month when there is one (or more) happening every weekend in our state.

DS 4 stayed home with me. He couldn't decide WHAT he "wanted to do"...and after going outside for just a few moments, I knew we HAD to be outside. It was absolutely GORGEOUS out! So, he and I headed to the beach. We stayed and played and relaxed for three hours out there. The weather was perfect.

I have to say I have crossed a new threshold in my life. Before we went to the beach, I needed to stop and get sunscreen and restock a few "beach essentials". For the first time EVER in all my 44 years, I bought a floppy straw hat to protect my head and face. I was sitting on the beach with my hat and my sunglasses thinking, "Wow...this must be a sign of aging." Oh well...I'm not burned and I was quite happy under my hat!

DS 2 met DS 4 and I later that afternoon for ice cream. It was a nice little treat on a beautiful day.

Yesterday was a great service at church and a lovely lunch with DS 3 and I. I love spending 1:1 time with my kids! Then, I pretty much lazed around the rest of the afternoon.

It was the perfect weekend to remind me just how blessed I am to have a wonderful family and a fabulous place to call home. Have a great week, everyone!!

A Masterpiece

I know several people who are currently expecting babies. Each time I see a young mother, I am reminded of my own pregnancies and the births of my boys. I remember details about each of them and recall the events with joy. While they were in my womb, I was constantly amazed at the little life that was growing inside. But, boy, when they were born, all I could think is "WHAT A MIRACLE!" There is no question that as I examined tiny fingers and toes, that we had a true masterpiece.

It's easy to think about the miracle of our own children. But I wonder, is it harder to think about the miracle that we were to someone else? Is it harder to imagine that just like I believe that God created four beautiful human beings for my DH and I to love and raise, that the same was true for ME? And YOU, too?? Every human being is a masterpiece.

The next verses in Psalm 139 make it very clear that God has his hand on each and every little person that is created:

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was
not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven
together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed
body. All the days ordained for me were written in your
book before one of them came to be.

Here's the deal: God knows us intimately. He made us. And, while I think most of us "could" accept that, I'm not sure we REALLY handle verse 14 as well. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

When I read this, I am led to ask: "Do I really praise God because I am God's handiwork?" I think many people have trouble really saying, "Yeah...every nook...every cranny was created by God. Nothing was hidden from him." AND, in verse 16, the Psalmist reminds us that he ordains our days and he knew what each day would bring before "one of them came to be".

Are you getting it? He KNEW us before he made us. He MADE us. We are HIS handiwork. He KNOWS exactly everything about us. Rather than ask ourselves if he really means us....we should give him praise for we are fearfully and wonderfully made! Do you know it fully?

Hey you...reading this and thinking, "Yeah but I've done _____________ or said ___________." STOP! You ARE a masterpiece made by the hand of God too! There's no where you can go and nothing you can do to keep him from loving you right where you are and who you are today.

That, my friends, is simply AMAZING!

The LIGHT that is in Psalm 139

The next part of this Psalm made me think of the little children's song, "This Little Light of Mine":

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night
around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night
will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

In the second verse of "This Little Light of Mine" we sing, "Hide it under a bushel, NO! I'm gonna' let it shine." Then we sing, "Won't let Satan blow it out...I'm gonna' let it shine." I know this is based on the words of Jesus when he talks about our light and the city on a hill and such.

Jesus is the light of the world. Sometimes we try to hide in the darkness. We make decisions that are against our beliefs and we seek out sin. I know there are times when it'd just be "easier" to throw caution to the wind and forget my relationship with Jesus and let the "light become night around me."

That's where this Psalm hits me between the eyes. You see, when I want to "turn out the light" and hide in the darkness...God is even there. He doesn't see the darkness. Because the darkness is as light to him.

Isn't it amazing that God can see right through our "stuff" right down to the person HE created and loves? He sees our LIGHT and our potential and a different person than we see when we look in a mirror.

I am sure there are scholars out there that would disagree with my interpretation. But that's what it means to me this week. And I'm clinging to it. If you're like me...it's time to shed any darkness left and step into His amazing light...cause that's what He sees anyway!

And the blessing of Psalm 139 continues.... One sermon I found online said this about this Psalm: "It’s the ultimate feel-good Psalm, the equivalent of five self-help books, or a long, hot bubble bath with candles and chocolate. It has the power to soothe, comfort, ground you and inspire you, if allowed." I agree....let's lean further into the words:

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Up to this point (in verses 1-6 below), it feels to me like the author has been talking in terms of God taking the actions. He knows our thoughts. He searches us. He hears our words before we speak them. He goes before us and he follows us.



Suddenly, in these verses, it's the author who is taking the action and asking the questions. He asks, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?" I saw one commentary that said, "Why would someone want to flee God?" I think we flee those situations that make us a bit squirmy, uncomfortable, and vulnerable.

When I reflected deeply on these verses, and searched some of the commentaries, this is what came to my mind:


If I head to the most spiritual of places, God is there. If I choose to go to a dark place filled with the most negative of influences, God is there. If I am in Heaven or Hell, he is there.

In vs. 9, the writer notes "If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea." I wondered about this. What does it really mean? Again, turning to the commentaries, one thought was "the sun rises in the east (dawn) and settles in the west". In the area where the Psalmist was writing, "the far side of the sea" was the west. The commentator suggested that this is almost like the thought, "as far as the east is from the west"...forever...everywhere. It covers every inch of every place on earth. Even there...every place I could possibly go....up, down and side-to-side, God's hand will guide me.

And I love the last words here..."your right hand will hold me fast." He's not letting go! God's hand holds each of us whether we want it or not. And he will NEVER. LET. GO. He's holding fast...tight...with a firm grip.

Can you picture it? It's like the child who finally decides he doesn't need to hold the parent's hand in the parking lot full of cars. Yet, the parent holds on. The parent KNOWS that the child needs the guidance of that hand. And no matter how squirmy or fussy the child becomes, the grip remains.

Can you think of a better place to be? Even when I'm squirmy and fussy, I can't.

May we all find ourselves firmly and securely in God's grip today!

More of Psalm 139

The next part of Psalm 139 is

4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

"Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely..." He knows exactly what we're going to say before we do! Very few of us really measure our words and "think before we talk"...in fact they are almost simultaneous events. I've heard many people talk as though they are thinking out loud. Sometimes it's helpful and other times, it's not.


Think about it, if God knows completely the words that we are going speak, then He knows the impact those words will have on those who hear them. He knows all of our words, whether they are blessings or cursings, encouraging or discouraging.


The Psalm continues with an interesting word picture: "You hem me in--behind and before." The New Living Translation says it this way: "5 You go before me and follow me." Think about that. God, in his infinite wisdom and awesome power, will be somewhere before we get there AND he will follow us at the same time.


When I was about 4 years old, my Mom and I were heading out somewhere on a day when there was ice and snow on the porch. She said to me, "Stay here. Let me go first. I will come back and get you." She walked down the steps to the car. I guess I've always been an "I can do it myself" kind of girl...so I took the first step and did not listen to her words.


I slipped. I fell. I cracked my head open. I needed stitches. It probably wasn't seconds before my Mother was there behind me scooping me up and taking me to get my wound stitched up.


This is the picture I get when I think about God, our heavenly parent, going before us AND following us at the same time. He goes before and guides us "in the paths of righteousness". BUT when we get the "I can do it myself" or "I don't need God" attitude, he's there too...following us. And whether he's before us or following us, the Psalmist reminds that his "hand is upon us". I love that!


The next verse sums up the magnitude of these realities of God: "6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" To that, I say a resounding AMEN!


Are you getting the picture?


Here's SUSAN'S version of these first six verses: "He has investigated your heart and soul as well as mine (v. 1). He KNOWS you and me quite intimately--the good, the bad, and the ugly. He knows us when we are working or resting. He knows our every thought. He knows which thoughts will make their way across our lips. He walks with us WHEREVER we go...whether it's on the path of obedience or it's completely astray. There's no where on this earth that we could be where God is not. No nook. No cranny. No fortress. No where.

Isn't that AMAZING? It's almost too much to comprehend!"

Extraordinary Woman

I have just returned from the Extraordinary Women conference. For me, there were some speakers that I thought were extremely WORTH it and others that were not. Chonda Pierce was worth it!

Early on Friday evening, Chonda Pierce shared Psalm 139 with us. It is not the first time I have heard this beautiful Psalm, but it really spoke to me this weekend. In many ways, it summed up the entire event for me. I'm going to spend the next few posts exploring this beautiful piece of writing a bit at a time.

1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

The central theme of this weekend's event was "Free to Be Real". Each speaker explored the importance of us being able to be WHO we are and WHERE we are. So many of us, women and men, have spent time trying to hide from God. King David was no different. He had tried hiding from God as we see again and again in his writing.

Verse 1 of Psalm 139 alone could scare some of us. BAD! I mean, think about it...God himself has searched each one of us. And this verse tells us the he KNOWS us. One study Bible says that this verse would be better described as "investigated and thoroughly acquainted yourself with my soul and conduct".

The Psalmist goes on to share a couple of "minor details" of which God is keenly aware: "you know when I sit and when I rise." The Message version translates these verses this way: "I am an open book to you." He discerns our "going out and our lying down." This tells me that he knows every single move I make. He knows every movement of my fingers, my toes, my arms, my legs. Everything.

Then, the words that just struck me in such an amazing way: "You perceive my thoughts from afar."

Is it just me or is it overwhelming to think that God, in his very nature, "perceives my thoughts..."? Every one of them. No one on this earth knows all of your thoughts or mine. No one! One commentary says this means that God knows what I'm going to think in an hour or in a day or next week.

For the past few days, I have been keenly aware of when I sit and when I get up. I have tried to pay attention to just how many times I am "going somewhere" and the times that I am simply lying down. It's a lot. Each time I do one of these things, I've been telling myself "God knows it." He knows it.

Now, that thought alone could get a little creepy. So, I must close with the MOST important characteristic of God summed up in Romans 8:38 - 39

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

He knows you and he knows me. He's investigated EVERYTHING about us. And this verse from Romans assures me that despite knowing everything there is to know about me, HE LOVES ME right where I am! NOTHING can and will separate us from his LOVE!

And you can be confident that HE LOVES YOU TOO--no matter what! Isn't that GREAT news??

Saturday Snippets

I think I'll stick with the Saturday Snippets from Susan theme for this week as well. Here are my snippets in no particular order.

YFirst of all, I have been sick this week with a terrible cold. I took Monday off of school and then pushed to go in the other days since the dreaded FCAT (Florida's State Test) came in this week and has to be prepared for administration. Thank goodness I have some great help and we are almost completely ready.

YThis sickness has shown me what a blessing my friends are. See my last post. They've blown me away this week cause it's not like a dying sickness...only an "I don't feel like doing anything" sickness. Still their care and compassion has been so touching.

YWhile I didn't mention it in yesterday's post, I am also VERY THANKFUL for my blogging friends. I love your emails and your well-wishes via comments. You also are a BLESSING to me in so many ways! I don't know if I'll ever really get over how neat it is to have people you can call "friend" that you have never seen face-to-face.

YFor my blogging friends that I've had the blessing of meeting...I also don't think I'll ever get over the "coolness factor" of meeting someone for the first time and feeling so connected to them! I mean who goes and spends the night with a bunch of "total strangers" and has a total BLAST??? (Can you say "Bloggin' Babes"?)

YDH finally got home last night. He worked in Texas all week. I have missed him!!

YDH, DS 2, and DS 3 flew to Jacksonville today for a really cool audition for DS 2. I'm not going to go into it too much yet, but if you read this today, please send up a prayer for the three of them and for DS 2 as he reads his monologue sometime between 2:00 and 5:00 today. I'll fill you in when I can.

YDS 3 made it over the pole vault bar at track practice on Thursday! They practice with it at 6ft. He was so excited! He is looking forward to this week's track meet on Tuesday where he will once again try and clear seven feet. He is still amazing me!

YDS 4 has a very full social calendar today. He is going to two back-to-back birthday parties. I'm looking forward to the total quiet that will be in my house while NO ONE is home! ;-)

YDS 1 called this week. He is at AIT in Texas. He is being trained as a "combat medic". He told me he is determined to get top scores on everything. Today I read some of the notes from his basic training platoon comrades. Wow! Talk about being proud. Their comments about him actually made me tear up a bit! They are just seeing what we've known all along.

YWe're going to a friend's 50th birthday celebration tomorrow. She is collecting children's shoes for gifts so that she can give them to needy children in the community. I love that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friends

Do you remember the song, "Make new friends, but keep the old; One is silver and the other gold."? Last night as I lay down to sleep, that song came to my mind. I have had this amazing week with "old" and "new" friends. (Note: I am considering an "old friend" anyone I have known ten or more years.)

Last Saturday I went to "Girls Night In" with some of my friends from school. It was hosted by one of my newer friends, Kelly. My long time friend, Debra, and I went. There were 9 or 10 of us there--some "old" friends and others newer to me. Some of the ladies were sleeping over. We sat around laughing and talking and eating and being "women" for an evening. Even after I left (which was after 11) they watched movies and played games into the wee hours of the morning. It was an absolute blast just hanging out and being with a bunch of "girlfriends".

By Sunday, I was starting to get a bit of a cold. I received an email from a friend I've made in the last few months at church, Connie. She knew that DH was out of town and said, "May I bring you all dinner this week? I like to do things for working Mom's once-in-a-while?" I thought, "We don't NEED her to bring us dinner." But I told her that while she didn't have to do it, that it would be nice. She said she'd bring it on Wednesday.

I ended up staying home on Monday. One of my newer friends, Katie, saw that I was sick when she read my Facebook page. She sent me a note to ask if she could do anything. I declined as I had everything I thought I needed. Still, it was so nice that she asked because I absolutely know she'd have been there in a second.

By Tuesday, I had to push back to work because the state tests were arriving and I am the test coordinator at my school. While there, I received a phone call from another newer friend from church, Carrie. She had also heard that I was under the weather and she wanted to bring me some homemade soup! I never could coordinate getting the soup with our strange schedule and the track meet that day. Still, I was moved that she wanted to do that for ME!

Wednesday morning I woke up and checked my Facebook status and there was a message from an "OLD" friend, Kelly. Kelly and I were friends from about the time we were 4 - 9 years old. She lived down the street from us. They moved away and we lost touch after that. I did hear from her for a brief time when we were in high school, but other than that...we had not heard from each other. Low and behold, she found me on Facebook! And she only lives about an hour from me now! The conversations we have had via Facebook over the last 24 hours have been like a good soup for me.

Wednesday night, our dinner from Connie arrived. I felt worse Wednesday than I have all week. I have to say that dinner suddenly became a double blessing, because I did NOT feel like cooking. I know my boys enjoyed it as much as I did.

Later Wednesday night, I reconnected via my old friend Kelly, another old friend, Cindy. Cindy also lived on our street when we were very young. We played for HOURS together. We have tons of pictures together--which I cannot wait to share with these girls.

Needless to say, last night I went to bed so thankful! I believe in the power of friendship. I know that there are different "kinds" of friends. Some are really close and intimate, others a bit removed from that level. Some are seasonal and others are lifelong. Some are "fun time" friends others are "anytime" friends. Still, all are important; each one a gift. And I am richly richly blessed by mine!

Here He Is...

Although he didn't make it over the bar, DS 3 showed such character and sportsmanship yesterday (see post below). He stayed until the bitter end to be there for his teammates and he has goals to make it the next time. I am glad I was there to see it and I couldn't be MORE PROUD of him!

Tenacious

I think this is a perfect word to describe my DS 3 for so many reasons! He knows what he wants, and he goes for it. It's admirable, in my opinion.

One thing you may not know about him is that he has muscle and coordination issues. When he was a child, the doctor noticed his "abnormally" large skull and encouraged us to go have it checked. At that time, he said he thought it could be a "tumor". He took that "giant leap" of a potential diagnosis based on the fact that DS 3, at 6 years-old, could not do a somersault and appeared to have some balance and coordination issues. No one wants to hear that their child might have a tumor. No one.

We went through a ton of tests with the neurologist and worked with experts at the Children's Hospital. After many tests and much discussion, they determined that DS 3 did NOT have a tumor. They said his brain had "extra growth" in that area. They also told us that the extra growth would increase his intelligence while decreasing muscle coordination and balance. The only thing we were told not to do was put him in team sports (a decision I don't think they would make today---and I have often regretted).

So, we pursued things like violin, piano, and drama to enrich him. He liked all those OK, but nothing lit his fire like the day he discovered aviation and airplanes around 11 or 12 years of age. If you've followed my blog at all, then you know that he is quite passionate about them. He flew solo in a glider on his 14th birthday. He plans to fly solo in a regular plane on his 16th birthday. And he KNOWS that he really wants to do something in the field of aviation.

One of his dreams is to make it into the Air Force Academy. My gut reaction, when he told me this, was "Great! I know you could do the mental part...but you weren't supposed to play team sports. It's that physical part that concerns me." He set his mind to it and researched the attributes of successful applicants for the Academy. He could tell you the list. I cannot.

One of the activities that many of the cadets share is that they "lettered in a varsity sport". Uh, OK. DH and I told him that perhaps he should think about track and field. We talked about maybe training for cross country or some other event.

Several weeks ago, DS called DH on the phone from school and told him he was going to stay for track team try-outs. DH called me to tell me that he has decided to try out for Pole Vaulting.

WHAT!?! Did he say "pole vaulting"????? Yes, he did.

So, my 6ft. 3in fourteen year-old with "balance and coordination" challenges, who could not turn a somersault as a child, has been working out with the pole vaulters and the track team. Everyday. He has done things in the past few weeks that I'm sure he never thought he could. He came home and told me that he needs to learn to climb a rope upside-down. Upside down? I can't even climb one right-side up! DS 3 continues to press on with our support.

Yesterday, he came home to tell me that he was going to "vault in the first track meet of the year on Tuesday." He was a bit frustrated about that. I said, "Have you ever made it over the bar?" He said, "Not really." I asked him how he felt about the meet, he replied: "I just hope I can make it over." Then he told me, "It'll be fine, MOM!"

I have to hand it to him. In a similar circumstance, I would most likely have quit. I'd say "Nope. This is NOT for me." But he has his eye on the ball. He is challenging himself to be better today than he was yesterday. He wants to grow and learn.

Not only am I proud of him...I ADMIRE HIM! I don't know if his future holds a stint at the Air Force Academy or not, but I DO KNOW that his tenacity will take him farther than even HE can imagine at this point in his life.

{If you get a chance, please whisper a prayer for him as he participates in his first track meet today at 4:00pm EST. I'm sure there will be more to come on this story!}

Director's Cut

Our recent series at church has been titled "The Director's Cut". It's based on a well-known concept in the entertainment industry. There is usually a "final cut" version of a movie. And then there's the "Director's Cut". That cut is one that has everything that the director WANTED and PLANNED to include in the movie. It's usually his or her picture of what the film "should" be. For many reasons, movies are cut down, however, to a "final cut". It could be financial, or time restraints, or simply someone's preference to remove a scene or two or three from the movie.

We have looked at people in the Bible who either took the "Director's Cut" and went the full length of a situation the way God (the ultimate Director) had planned (i.e.,Joshua and Caleb). We also looked at those who took shortcuts and missed important pieces (i.e., Jonah).

Honestly, the whole thing has made me wonder how many times in my life I've chosen a different way from what God had planned for and wanted from me. Last week, this verse from Romans 12 hit me right between the eyes:

1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Honestly, there is not a time in my life when I've been exposed to Romans 12 that I didn't squirm a bit. The whole chapter is challenging and worth investigation. Here's where the verses above impacted me this week:

During the week, I am surrounded by people from all different faith backgrounds and belief systems. I work hard to be "real" in my daily walk. I want people to know that, like all human beings, I don't always get it right. I make mistakes. I hurt. I struggle. But, I also want to be bold enough to tell people when they ask that "God's mercy and grace---the Director's Cut---makes a HUGE difference in my life!"

As I gnawed on Romans this week, I also devoured new artist Francesca Battistelli who has written my new favorite song: "Free to be Me". Here are partial lyrics (just change the "twenty years of age" to "forty (or so) years of age"):

At twenty years of age
I'm still looking for a dream
A war is already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can't always see, 'cause...

I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
And on my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

Here's another song off that album that makes me think of that "Director's Cut". It's called, "I'm Letting Go":

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

It's a challenge...choosing the Director's Cut. I know that sometimes I do it well and other times I fail miserably. I'm thankful that I'm "Free to Be Me"! Here she is to remind us of this important lesson: