It's Mid-November--and I'm Emotional

I know that each year I am alive, I feel like time passes more quickly. This school year seemed to drag at the beginning, but now here we are in (almost) mid-November. Once the holidays are over, time flies in an elementary school. But, time is flying elsewhere in my life too.

It's been a long time coming, but DS 1 leaves on Nov. 19th (one week from today) for boot camp. He will be in Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri. He'll go straight from there to San Antonio for his AIT training. So, we are facing six months of life with minimal contact. And I'm the Mom, so I am entitled to a trace of weepiness over this! I'm excited for him, but oh so sad too!

Having our nephew in town for the past few days has been fun. He is a happy little man who is quite observant. And he says the cutest things--as 3yos do. The best was the other morning when he woke up and exclaimed: "Hey! The sky IS blue so we can get up now!" Hmmm...I'm guessing that he's woken up one too many times when it was BLACK and was probably told to go back to bed!

I got to share a tender moment with him the other night during bedtime. We read a story. We prayed. But he still wasn't quite settled. So, I did what I used to do when my boys were little...I cuddled with him and sang to him. And while I loved it that he and I were getting that special moment...I was suddenly drifting back in time to when my own boys were that little. It was precious! But it also made me emotional.

I can't believe how close we are to Thanksgiving! For any of you who are coming to my house for the dinner, I promise we'll coordinate menus soon! Seriously, I'm very excited cause my Grandma (from Ohio) is going to be down for the holiday. We plan to have some family photos taken. Of course when I think of doing that without DS 1, I get...well...choked up!

There is no doubt that I am blessed beyond what I can express here in a simple blog post. And I am so thankful for each and every blessing that I have received. I guess I've reached a point in my life when even the blessings can bring a tear of joy.

So, yeah, it's mid-November...and I'm emotional...but that's OK!

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Book Review: The Abstinence Teacher

I picked this novel up while perusing a shelf of New York Times Bestsellers not long ago. I was intrigued by the back cover blurb which read:

Stonewood Heights is the perfect place to raise kids...It's the kind of place where parents are involved in their children's lives...Ruth Ramsey is the human sexuality teacher...She believes that "pleasure is good, shame is bad, and knowledge is power." Ruth's younger daughter's soccer coach is Tim Mason, a former stoner and rocker whose response to hitting rock bottom was to reach out and be saved. Tim belongs to The Tabernacle, an evangelical Christian church that doesn't approve of Ruth's style of teaching. And Ruth in turn doesn't applaud The Tabernacle's mission to take its message outside its doors.

Adversaries in a small-town culture war, Ruth and Tim instinctively mistrust each other. But when a controversy on the soccer field pushes the two of them to actually talk to each other, they are forced to take each other at something other than face value.

The Abstinence Teacher exposes the powerful emotions that run beneath the surface of modern American family life and explores the complex spiritual and sexual lives of ordinary people.

I chose this book because I was interested in seeing how this author portrayed both sides of a rather "hot topic". Here's what I found:

There are several threads that are woven neatly through the narrative. There are the clear threads which are introduced in the description above: abstinence curriculum, evangelical impact in the world. But there is also a thread that I think is much more real for Christians everywhere: addictive personalities that go from drugs and/or alcohol or some other addiction to the Church AND the problem of those churches that can be so controlling and judgmental.

I also love how the author presents subtle parallels in the individual battles of each of the main characters. For example, Tim is on the "side" of the evangelicals demanding the abstinence curriculum from Ruth. She is upset at the intolerance of those church members. But when Ruth finds herself feeling totally violated when Tim offers prayer at her daughter's soccer game, she is no less tolerant.

For those of you who limit yourselves to "Christian books" this is NOT a book that specifically fits that category. It is presented fairly, in my opinion and gives the reader the view of different lenses that could belong to any person in our own communities. But it is also quite graphic at some points and includes language that might be offensive to some. Although I think the inclusion of these references in the book help the reader consider other sides and viewpoints.

Without revealing it, I want to say that I was disappointed in the ending. It didn't "wrap up" enough for me...in fact, it unraveled a bit of the story at this point in my opinion. That being said, I'm glad I took the time to read it and enjoyed the personal connections to my own life and experiences.

Blog Play

I'm playing with my blog, so excuse the "mess" while I do so. Who knows how it will end up...I figure it's time I learn a bit more...

Random Family Update

We've hit November running around here and once again I am finding it hard to get my blogging in with any regularity. Here's the latest from my neck of the woods:

* DS 4 just finished his first soccer game of the season. His team won. I am continually amazed at the audacity of parents on the sidelines! I often wish they could hear how their comments sound to the rest of us!

* DS 3 and DH flew out early this morning to go to an air show across the state. They weren't sure they were going to get to go due to weather...but it was beautiful today. They'll be back later on this evening. I guess DS 3 was a sight at the high school football last night...he painted himself up and was seen hanging out with tons of kids throughout the night. I'd have never dreamed he'd be "Mr. Spirit"...but I'm glad he's having fun.

* DS 2 and DS 1 are really into the whole "Ultimate Frisbee" thing. They've been playing quite a bit lately.

* DS 1 is preparing to leave on the 19th for basic training. He packed stuff up in his room this week. It is hard for this Mother to look at all those packed boxes!!

* Our nephew is staying with us today and tomorrow. His Mom and Dad are in TN this week and he's staying at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We are watching him while Grandpa goes out of town for a couple of days.

Soooo...I'm thinking a viewing of Madagascar 2 is in my near future!

Have a great weekend!

To All American Voters (Long)

Dear American Voter,

I have pretty much tried to remain quiet regarding my political views and opinions during the campaign. Some might think it’s because I don’t have any. Or that I don’t care. But that is simply not true. I do care. Deeply.

On Tuesday, like many of you, I voted. There were times during the campaign when I was a bit torn between the two Presidential candidates. For me, it wasn’t a clear cut choice in some ways. Still I did make a choice. And, for what it’s worth, my “choice” did not win.

Now, here I am two days later. I’m not “scared” like many people have written on their blogs. I’m not totally disappointed. I think things will be fine. Of course they may change. Of course there may be things I don’t like and that I disagree with. But, that would be true no matter which candidate took office in January.

Instead of dwelling on what has happened, I find myself a bit angry today. Actually I’m a lot angry right now. Here’s why:

Some of the responses I’ve seen from BOTH sides, make me SICK! I know this is America and we have the right to freedom of speech. But, just because something is my “right” doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be “thoughtful” or “responsible” with my words and my actions.

In the last two days I’ve heard McCain supporters speak of the gloom and doom that they think is on the horizon. I’ve seen people make statements via t-shirts and signage about their distaste for our new President that I think is better left unsaid. It doesn’t change anything nor does it help.

And I’ve seen and heard people who are staunch Obama supporters say and do things that I have found inappropriate. Someone at my school played “Happy Days are Here Again” over the loud speaker yesterday. I don’t think it was appropriate.

The person that chose to do this certainly has the right to believe that, in fact, “happy days are here again”…but is it fair to play that song when there ARE people from all different walks of life who work in this building? I think not.

Today an email was forwarded to our entire staff from a very famous person who has no qualms about stating an opinion on anything political. And the letter is harsh, which is nothing less than what I’d expect to read from this person. The letter writer poses the question: “What will it be like to have a smart President?” It goes on to note that “Science has been banished for eight years and will now return.” The writer suggests that we may “once again” support those who are working on a cure for illness or discover new forms of energy. Was this sort of thing halted over the past eight years? I think not.

The letter, like so many others in the past couple of days, discusses racism. The writer notes that racists were present throughout the entire campaign and in the voting booths. I agree. But, where we differ is in my belief that racism was and is present on BOTH sides of the political fence.

I think it’s wonderful that we’ve seen an African American become President. I think it DOES go a long way in saying that anyone can achieve in America. I don’t like, however, the fact that some people chose to vote for their candidate (either one) based on the color of his skin. I continue to pray for the day that Martin Luther King dreamed of when he noted that we would not “judge a person on the color of their skin, but on the content of their character.”

The letter writer goes on to encourage “fellow Dems” not to treat the Republicans in their lives the “same way they have treated you for the past eight years.” WHAT???? Is this person actually insinuating that EVERY person who calls himself or herself a Republican treats those who are not exactly the same way? And that it’s always BAD? What a shame!

I know ugly exists. And it resides in “both camps”. I wonder when, we will believe the words that were uttered by BOTH candidates on election night. I wonder WHEN and IF there will ever be unity in this land? I wonder when we will stop perpetuating the “us” and the “them” and start meeting somewhere that we can be “we”. Will we ever reach the place where we can agree to disagree?

I honestly say I don’t know.

I’m concerned today NOT because of WHO will take office in January. I’m concerned because there seems to be the smell of hate in the air. It’s coming from both “sides”.
And no one should be a bully!

One of my favorite sermons that DH ever preached was called, “Words that Hurt/Words that Heal.” Each and every time we speak, we have a choice: our words can be those that bring healing or they can be hurtful. I would say the same is true of our actions. Will they be divisive? Or will they build a bridge where there is none?

May we all consider our responses as we speak and act in our families, with our friends, and in our communities. May we find ways to be helpful rather than hurtful, positive rather than negative, loving instead of hateful. And may we extend grace to those who don't.

Wordless Wednesday--sort of

This picture showed up in our morning paper complete with my age revealed for our entire county! It shows DS 4 and I trying to stay warm yesterday morning while waiting to vote.

The caption reads: Susan (my last name), 44, a teacher, tries to keep her son, DS4, 9, warm as she tries to squeeze in a vote before school at (our polling place) in (our town), Fla., on Tuesday.

Book Review: Twilight

In the past month or so, I've had several people ask me if I had read, or was reading, the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. My answer, until last week, was "no". Several people at my school are at various stages of the four books in the series. It's been pretty much the theme of conversation at lunch. So I picked up the first one. And I'm not sorry for doing so.


First of all, this is a secular series. It is about Vampires. If someone would have asked me if I'd ever read a book about vampires, I'd have answered with a resounding "NO!" But, they told me it was more of a "love story" and that it "wasn't gory" and that "it was a page turner". And they were right!

The first book introduces us to Bella, a 17 year old girl who has just moved from Phoenix to Forks, Washington to live with her Father. While there, she meets Edward---a mysterious young man who eventually catches her eye and her fancy. I love the back cover blurb which says:

About three things I was absolutely positive: First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him–and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be–that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Several reviews I've read of this book tout this book as one that spans ages. It's shelved in the "Young Adult" section yet appeals to adults as well. One reviewer notes: "Unlike more traditional portrayals of vampires throughout literature, Meyer’s vampires are graceful, compassionate creatures. Edward is a vampire with morals and a conscience, as are the other members of his foster family."

I found Edward loveable pretty quickly. He definitely is a "vampire filled with compassion." Meyer does a nice job dispelling our traditional picture of vampires and their stereotypes. The love story is a sweet one that grabs the reader and definitely makes this a page turner. I also love that this book, which is being marketed primarily to teens, is really void of profanity and inappropriate behavior.

I'm amazed at the conversations and book talks that it has sparked among my colleagues. And we are all going to be going to see the movie when it opens on Nov. 21st.

If you choose to read this book, I'd love to hear your take on it.

A Fun Time was Had By All...

FIRST of all...Rock You isn't working again. I have the slide show made and it's showing some other family here! I thought I had deleted it and saved this as draft, but apparently I published it and some of you are probably wondering if I've lost my mind. Soooo...I'm going to start over.

Our Halloween party is over and it WAS a success! We had 15 adults and 12 kids from the church in addition to many neighbors who dropped by. We gave out 75 children's treat bags and a BUNCH of candy! Many adults took chili, soda and candy bars. And they loved the cookies! We met some new neighbors that we didn't know in the past. It was fun connecting with both our neighbors and our church family a bit more. Here's a little glimpse of the preparations and our evening:

It all started with Reverse Trick or Treat last Sunday. Here are some of our church family getting ready to surprise neighbors with a bag of candy to use for Halloween. I have to tell you, if you try this, bring a cute little kid in costume...no one refused these darling little girls!!
DS 4 took care of pumpkin carving. As you can see, he had a little "help" from both cats!
The "set-up" was a table for goodies, chili, cider, soda, AND water in the driveway. Chairs and a firepit for visiting when it got dark.

One of our church members is a professional baker and she brought these darling cookies to share. They were a HUGE hit with all the kids and adults!!

DS 2, DS 3 and their friends played frisbee all night in front of the house. It was amazing how this also attracted kids! I think it's funny how frisbee comes and goes by way of popularity.

DS 4 couldn't decide WHAT he wanted to be for Halloween. I did not type up this story, but here he is being a "funny guy" and loving on one of our church members' new puppy. The puppy got LOTS of love throughout the night.

And here are the sweet little girls who won hearts during Reverse Trick or Treat....

And then the kids and their families started coming. It is always so fun to see the cute little costumes everyone is wearing.
Even the neighborhood pets came by for a little loving.
I found these cute little lanterns at JoAnn Fabrics the other day. They were only $2 each and I got 8 of them to add to our decor.
And here is a picture of the lanterns and the pumpkin lights we found as well. When the sun went down, the firepit went on and we enjoyed visiting with everyone who came by to visit. It was fun to see how people came back after they took their children around the neighborhood. They came back for chili or drinks or just to visit.
Here are DS 4's pumpkins after dark. Can you tell he got tired of carving by the time he got to the big one? It became an abstract work of sorts.
And you know I can never show pictures without sharing the food that was INSIDE too!

When You Need Time to STAND STILL...

Sometimes I get SO busy that I don't know if I am coming or going. This is a bad bad habit of mine that I am really trying to stop. I have occasionally pulled back from everything to regroup and get a grip. I don't consider myself over committed right now, but I need time to stand still today. And here's why...

As I mentioned last week, we are having a Halloween Party at my house tonight. It starts at 6:00pm. Last night, DS 4 asked, "Why is always at OUR house?" I came out of his room asking myself the SAME question! And last night I dreamt about it and tossed and turned as I thought about all that needs to be done...

We will have chili, apple cider, finger food and drinks/candy for both children and adults in the neighborhood. All is well, really. DH is cooking chili and apple cider. He is making sure the house is ready to go today. He is buying a new fire pit to put in the backyard for people to sit around. DS 4 carved two of three pumpkins last night. I have to finish some last minute decorating today when I get home and make sure the snacks are out to share.

So, you might wonder what my problem is exactly...here it is...I don't get off work until 3:30. I live 30 minutes away from my house. People are coming at 5:30 to help set up. But I want to be almost completely set up BEFORE they get there. I really like having the FULL day to get ready for this sort of thing.

It's my own fault, really. I've known it was coming. It is not like the time has changed or the date changed....It's just that I cannot do not get ready in baby steps. Instead it mulls in my mind. I pick up an item here and an item there that I know we'll need. Then the last minute, my head starts spinning on my shoulders and I am a maniac until I know that all is well and everyone is happily partying away. My boys don't like the hours just before entertaining. My husband is fabulous during these last minute preparations....OK STORMS! And I cannot think of a time when things did not go as planned or people didn't enjoy themselves.

Still, I WISH I could make time stand still for just a bit between 3:30 and 5:30 today. Cause there's a storm a brewing!!

Voting...It's time

We held a mock election at my school the other day. This was a program sponsored by our county that allowed students to cast a vote via the web. They were able to view the entire ballot and make their selections. Here are some of the responses we heard from students:

"I don't know any of these people! How can I possibly decide?"

"I liked (this candidates) signs the best, so I'm going to vote for (him/her)."

"If you don't vote for __________, you're not a good person."

"I can't vote because the government might find out my family is not supposed to be here."

And my personal favorite, from MY OWN DS 4:

"Some kids asked me who I voted for. I told them it was private and none of their business. They said, 'If you didn't vote for (insert candidate name), then you're a (candidate name) hater!' I think they should get a referral for that, because it takes away my rights. And, BOY do I feel a PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE coming on!"

Uh, can you tell we talk politics in OUR house????

Then, in other political news...I was talking with one of my colleagues yesterday who has two children ages 14 and 16. She told me, "My husband will not tell the kids anything about the election. He refuses to tell us who he is voting for and I don't know if I should tell the kids or not."

Here's my opinion: We don't TELL anyone WHO to vote for...but it is our responsibility, as parents, to talk to kids about how we reason out our own voting choices. As I explained to her, "How are your kids ever going to learn HOW to think about elections if you don't model it for them?"

I'll be glad when this whole thing is over, but for goodness sakes, let's all BE INFORMED and VOTE RESPONSIBLY!

Award and Meme

Just last week I discovered that my friend Sandy's two daughters and son-in-law have joined the blogging world. Lindsey sent me this award yesterday and I was quite touched. The rules are to pass the award along to seven more bloggers. Since I've passed along blog awards before, I am trying to send it out to bloggers that I haven't recognized in the past--and just so those of you who I've tagged know, I've not checked to see if you already have received this or not.

My awards go to:
1. Amy at Amy's Random Thoughts- Amy and her husband are both bloggers. They are waiting for a precious child from China and it's been fun to read and watch their journey!!

2. Kara at Calm and Chaos - Kara reminds me a lot of myself because she found herself pregnant with her sweet son when she didn't really expect it. She isn't able to blog as much since the birth of the baby, but when she does, it's a real nugget.

3. Kelly over at Chatty Kelly is a newer read for me. I've loved getting to know her through her sweet and clever posts. She is a thoughtful blogger who loves Jesus.

4. Katie over at My Life with My Loved Ones is also a new read for me. She lives in the listening area of our local CCM radio station and we met via the DJ's blog. I have loved reading her stories of her sweet children and getting to know Katie a bit better over the past few months.

5. Merrie over at Merrie Days is also a newer read for me. She's a fellow Preacher's Wife who is so very "real" on her blog. I feel like I've connected with Merrie in so many ways. And I love hearing about her wonderful children and sweet grands.

6. Guinevere over at Raindrops and Whiskers is not a new read for me, but I don't know if I've ever given her an award from me. She's a delightful Mommy and teacher. I've loved following her during her internship and hearing about all the adventures in her life.

7. KT over at The KTKronicles is also a long time read of mine. We met online at a website for
Christian wives. She is such a great Mom who has had her share of ups and downs over the years. This year, God surprised her with a "curve ball" as she found herself expecting again. It's been fun to hear about this new journey.

On another note, I saw this meme over at Danielle's blog today. I thought it was great fun, so in true blogger style: I took it!! Seriously, she invited us to do so.

Were you named after anyone? I have no idea if I was named after anyone.

When was the last time you cried? Hmm...I think I cried just a week or so ago over one of the boys. Nothing bad. They just make me cry when I'm proud of them...when I think of them growing so much...when I see them making good choices. I don't have to tell any Mom. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Do you like your handwriting? For the most part, yes. Although I think it has gotten worse in the past couple of years.

What is your favorite lunch meat? Well...I don't eat it much, but I LOVE a good fried bologna sandwich with tomato and mayo. Most of the time if I eat lunch meat it's turkey.

Do you have kids? Uh yes, refer back to the "when was the last time you cried?" question.

If you were another person would you be friends with you? I kind of wondered this on my blog one day several years ago. Yes, I think I'd be friends with me.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Unfortunately I use it more than I really wish I did. I try not to because I know it can hurt so much. But I slip.

Do you still have your tonsils? Sure do.

Would you bungee jump? Not unless it was the only way out of a very scary situation...and I mean VERY VERY scary cause my first inclination was to say, "not in one million years!"

What is your favorite cereal? I really like peanut butter Captain Crunch. We just talked about this at work today...I don't eat it anymore, but it DOES speak to me when I see it on the shelf. My favorite "healty" is special K.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? If I'm wearing tie shoes--and that's a big IF--I do not untie them.

Do you think you are strong? I'm definitely stronger than I used to be--thanks to that personal trainer.

What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate peanut butter cup.

What is the first thing you notice about people? After I notice what they are wearing, I am inclined to look at their hands.

Red or pink? RED

What is the least favorite thing about yourself? That I get so driven that I forget to stop and enjoy people around me. I think my children sometimes suffer when I get in the "zone".

Who do you miss the most? My Grandfather who has been gone for 9 years this month.

What color shoes are you wearing? Shoes??? No shoes once I'm home. It's bare feet for me.

What was the most recent food you ate? A pork chop that DH cooked. YUM!

What are you listening to right now? The Biggest Loser TV show. I am mad at the blue team, but Bob's my favorite trainer!!

If you were a crayon what color would you be? GREEN.

Favorite smells? Vanilla. Mango and Peach candles. Italian food.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Some woman who called to tell me how great a candidate is and that I should call him at (this number) and thank him. All in a very monotone voice. Weird!!

Do you like the person who sent this questionnaire to you? You mean the one I took it from??? Yes, she's delightful both in real life and on her blog!!

Favorite sports to watch? Football without question.

Hair color? Blonde....really.

Eye color? (I'm even taking Danielle's answer on this one cause we are the same here.) Hazel…unless of course I have a green shirt on then they are green, or if it’s a brown shirt then they are brown.

Do you wear contacts? Nope. Glasses.

Favorite food? Italian food and anything I don't have to cook.

Scary movies or happy endings? Definitely happy endings.

What color shirt are you wearing? Blue and white striped tank.

Summer or Winter? Definitely love winter!

Hugs or kisses? Both

Favorite dessert? Creme Brulee.

What book am I reading now? Twilight.

What is on your mouse pad? My finger.

What did you watch on TV last night? Chuck and the World Series.

Favorite sound? Children laughing...good giggling laughs.

Rolling Stones or Beatles? Depends on the day and the decade, but mostly the Beatles.

What is the farthest you have ever been from home? Alaska this summer. Although Panama might be further....I don't know.

Do you have a special talent? Not really anything out of the ordinary...I can write. I can lead groups. I do have a creative side when I need it.

Where were you born? Ohio

If you decide to play, let me know so I can come read your answers.

Weekend Update...

What a busy, but fun, weekend!!

Friday was supposed to be our Fall Fun Fair at school. It rained, so I was able to come home and CRASHED.

Saturday was spent getting ready for Reverse Trick or Treat on Sunday AND our work Halloween Party Saturday night. We always have so much fun at this party. It's amazing the different costumes that people come up with! I didn't get a full picture of my costume, but here is one of me with my friend, Brenda. I love this picture of all the people that I work with who are on FACEBOOK! There are more people from my school on FB that weren't at the party. But I'd say it's a pretty large group!On Sunday we hosted our church family at our house for Reverse Trick or Treat. This was an AWESOME activity! There were ten adults and 5 kids who gave out candy at 80 homes in our neighborhood. The stickers on the candy read: "No Tricks, Just Treats from your friends at (our church name)!" People were blown away that we were out to GIVE something with no strings attached.

Afterward, everyone came back to our house for supper. It was great fun!

Now, Friday, we are hosting a party to give away more treats to adults and children in our neighborhood. So far, there are 20 people signed up to come over then. I am looking forward to more time with our church family while reaching out to the community.

It's going to travel...

OK, everyone who commented on my last post....here's what I'm going to do....

I want each of you to read this book. SO I'm going to send it along to Susan, with five stamped and addressed envelopes. Susan, when you read it, will you send it to someone else from the envelope? Then the next person can send it to someone else...and so on and so on until the book has been passed around. The last person can pass it along to whoever you'd like.

I hope that sounds OK. I'll need each of you to send me your address....so I can make your envelope tomorrow.

You can email me at sooz8764@hotmail.com

Book Review: Why I Jumped

Several months ago, I was in the Christian bookstore and found several books in the bargain bin. This book, by Tina Zahn, caught my eye.

The book, Why I Jumped: My True Story of Postpartum Depression, Dramatic Rescue & Return to Hope, is the story of Tina's experience with Post Partum Depression and her attempted suicide. Tina jumped off a bridge in Green Bay, WI and was rescued by a police officer. You can see the video at her website.

Zahn grew up in a family that had the outward appearance of having it all together. But she tells a horrible tale of sexual abuse at the hands of her Stepfather beginning at age 5 that sent her into a spiral of self-doubt and, in her words, "self flogging". She had to carry this horrible secret for years. And, when it was revealed, the people in her life didn't really take any action to help her deal with it emotionally. Zahn wrestled with poor relationships and two abortions as a very young woman.

Her story, though, is so much more than the muck and mire that she found herself facing in her life. Zahn married a man, Daniel, who loved her despite the chains that bound her. She became heavily involved with her church and joined several women's Bible Studies in addition to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).

The thing that struck me is that despite having this network of support, Zahn still fought the battle with severe depression. She had quite a group of ladies---who she credits with praying specifically for her needs. It was in the MIDST of her Christian walk that she jumped off the bridge. She talks about the realities that so many victims of depression experience. I love these words she writes:

For too many years I tried to fix myself. When I had a problem, I took care of it. With anything and everything, I tried to do life on my own. Then came a day when all my efforts left me exhausted, broken, despondent, and empty. I looked out the window that day and asked God, "What next?"

When we reach the end of ourselves, God is there. Healing doesn't come in a day or an hour or a session. It doesn't come with one pill or one bottle of pills, with one doctor or one treatment. And it doesn't always come easily for those of us with decades of pain buried deep beneath the surface. But healing can come. You can't give up.

And THAT is the message that Zahn shares so well in her story: You CAN'T give up! When you think there is no one out there who loves you...you're wrong. Because no matter what your circumstances tell you...God is bigger than your circumstances. And HE LOVES YOU!

I have struggled with "the blues"...but never really experienced full blown depression. I believe I read this book to consider the "other players" in Zahn's world. Reading this book reminded me that no matter how "together" someone may seem, they may be hurting deeply inside. And while it may not be as deep or dramatic as what Tina experienced, they important thing is that we ALL have opportunities to be part of a support network for those in our lives. I believe we just have to look around us.

I'd like to pass this book along to a reader. If you think you'd like to read Tina Zahn's story, please leave me a comment and I'll draw a winner on Friday.

Four For Fun...

Saw this over at Jill's Place and decided that I wanted to play too...

The "rules"....which I find funny...only THREE steps here:
Copy/paste
Type in your answers and
Tag four people

A) Four places I go over and over
School (which is my work)
Nail salon
Target (DH says I have a Target habit)
Chick-fil-a (did I tell you that I am a Diet Cok-a-holic?)

B) Four people who e-mail me regularly
My Grandma
My friend Sandy
My friend Debra
Hmmm...I don't really have a fourth person..so I'm going to have to be like Jill (sort of) and say: Pottery Barn

C) Four of my favorite places to eat
Caragioulio's -- a quaint little Italian restaurant that DH and I like to visit
Bergamo's ---my FAVORITE Italian restaurant in Orlando (and my FAVORITE restaurant EVER since they sing show tunes and Opera while you eat)
Moe's (not very formal....but still a place I enjoy going)
Buffalo Wild Wings and Applebees tie for #4 as places to go with the kids


D) Four places you'd rather be
Mountains
A Cruise (anywhere is fine with me)
Back in Alaska
Somewhere in the Mediterranean


E) Four TV shows I could watch over and over
House
Law and Order
Apprentice
Cold Case


F) Four people I'm tagging
Whoever wants to play...I'm breaking this rule. Let me know if you do so I can come read your answers.

I've Cleaned my Cache, BUT...

OK, all you Internet experts...when I post to my blog, it doesn't update here at work. It still shows the same page that I posted LAST week...and IF I go into blogger to see my latest post and comments, it only shows the first few even though it says there are MORE. Anyone know how to make your computer update???

When Someone "Goes into the world"...

My DS 2 shared a story with us last night that simply blew me away. Then, this morning, my DH was telling the Pastor about it and he asked DS 2 to share it in church this morning. So, totally impromptu, DS 2 shared the following:

He is part of a local teen theater that goes into the schools sharing some very tough messages with kids. Last year's play was about AIDS. This year's is about the horrors of drug addiction. DH and I went to see it a couple of weeks ago and it is quite an emotional presentation. They pull no punches as they portray what many of their peers have experienced with the out-of-control spiral that often accompanies drug use.

Thursday they were in a local high school and presented their play to the Freshman class there. Six hundred kids. Of course there are almost always the kids in the audience who are looking for a laugh and were making fun of the group's message. DS 2 said they were not the best audience. At the end of each performance they conduct "talk back" time where audience members can give feedback and ask questions of the cast members.

When talk-back began there was a "heckler" in the back who said, "Yeah, there's nothing to do in this town. That's WHY we need to do drugs!" Of course that was followed up by snickers and laughter. DS 2 said he noticed a girl up front who seemed to want to say something. Finally, one of the cast members asked her if she had something she'd like to say.

This 14yo girl stood up and faced the boy in the back. She said, "I know addiction is hard. I know people who have fought and won. And I know people who struggle. But, I also know someone who can help anyone who is struggling with it. He is always there for you and He cares for you..." DS 2 said at this point, he was thinking, "Yeah, I know who she's talking about!" DS 2 said that the entire room stopped still while she spoke.

The girl continued, "He loves each and every one of you. His name is Jesus and He died on a cross because He loves us so much." When she finished, the entire room of freshman gave her a standing ovation. And suddenly she was surrounded by people who were hugging her and encouraging her for her words. In the words of DS 2: "It blew me away!"

As my DS 2 shared this in church, I was thinking..."Would I have done the same thing?" And I can honestly say, "I don't know." I think she took a bold step. She was unafraid and most importantly unashamed to stand up and speak her heart to others. And even more specifically, her peers...the people with whom she interacts each and every day. It was risky and vulnerable at best.

In my opinion, sometimes that group is the one with whom it's the most difficult to share. They are the people who see our everyday attitude and actions (warts and all) and can sometimes cause us to "clam up" about our faith. Let me be real for a minute:

This week I've been thinking about this very thing. Next Sunday we are going to "reverse trick-or-treat" here in my neighborhood. I have to say it'd be easier to be in "somebody else's backyard". I even thought about suggesting we change the location.

You see if anyone thinks it's "odd" or "strange" or "wrong"...I don't have to see them again when it's not my own neighbors. But because it WILL BE our neighbors, then we are becoming vulnerable. Now, I can't imagine who wouldn't take a free bag of candy with "no strings attached"...and it's not like we're planning to present the gospel on the doorstep. Nope. It's simply an act of kindness with a note that says so.

It requires nothing but a willing heart and a smile. And I believe that, though it's not quite as bold as this 14yo was. It still may, like she did in the midst of her peers, even "blow someone away." I hope so.

Servant Living...

Most of you know that when my DH took a different path from full time pulpit ministry, my own "ministry" changed a bit. Because I'd always been involved in so much, I really wanted to take some time and just "be" in church. That's pretty much what I did for the first year. Gradually, this year, we've become more involved as we have been led.

The Pastor talked to me this Summer about taking leadership in an area of ministry within the church. At first I gave a rather quick "no, that's not where I see me working". I truly wanted to do what God wanted me to do. I've spent way too much time doing jobs in the church simply because "no one else would step forward." After a little prayer and a HUGE nudge kick in the pants from God, I said "Yes".

The ministry I am working with centers around Servant Evangelism. This is the concept that simple acts of kindness can make a big difference in the world. At our church, we call this "interact". It is our opportunity to interact, in meaningful ways, in our community. This summer we gave cold water out on the beach. We also shared treat bags with kids who completed the mile beach run.

I think the church is in danger of defining "need" as weakness and limiting its outreach to the hurting, sick, poor, or lonely. And certainly there are multiple opportunities to reach out to these people. But, the fact is there are many hurting and lonely people that appear to have it all together. And there are many people who don't believe kindness even exists in our world. We want to reach all of them.

So, here are the wonderful SE projects that we have in the next few weeks:

The week before Halloween we are going to "Reverse Trick-or-Treat". We will be visiting homes in a neighborhood and giving out large bags of candy they can use for Halloween or anything else they choose.

On Halloween, we are hosting a block party at our house. We will pass out candy to kids, but we will also have cold soda, water and large candy bars to adults.

Two weeks later, we will be hosting a Harvest Party at one of our local Assisted Living Facilities. We are bringing in musical entertainment, gifts from our kids, and some pets to share with about 40 residents. We will also leave candy baskets for the 350 employees at this facility.

And, I am MOST excited about the day after Thanksgiving....On the biggest shopping day of the year, we are going to get up at 0'dark hundred and head out to the large electronics store and pass out coffee to the waiting bargain hunters. I think they are going to be absolutely shocked by this.

I think the thing I am learning as we continue to find ways to spread little acts of kindness in our community is that it isn't that hard. We all have so many individual opportunities each and every day to be kind to someone else. And isn't that what Christian Living is all about?

Now that I have MY laptop...

I still can't sit up for long, but I can LAY down and type with my laptop. Plus that, I'm just not tired anymore...I mean sheez! I slept 13 hours last night...and another three or four today already. But that's NOT what I wanted to talk about here.

I wanted to share my DS 3's haircut, which is just below this post. For those of you who are wondering WHY he did it. Here's the scoop. He lost a bet at the Homecoming football game last week. It had to do with the point spread of the game...and he "lost".

Saturday was a GREAT time at the American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. I am SO TOUCHED by all the gifts from my family and friends. It was a blessing to be able to take part in this event...and we had a BLAST! Here are two photos (one before we walked with "dry hair" and one at the finish line sporting the "wet look").

In other news, there are several little contests and giveaways that I've discovered by surfing in the past week or so.

The first one is the Siesta Ornament Give Away, If you'd like to participate, go to the link and leave a comment. Bloggers will be matched and be able to send an ornament to someone in the month of November. It'll be great fun to see what ornaments are passed around.

The second one is over at Kelly's place. Here's the button you can click to find out how to win a "blog makeover":

And finally, over at Jill's Place is a fun contest to win Faith Hill's new Christmas CD. Isn't the blogosphere so fun???

Happy Monday everyone!

Still Here...

I'm still here, but I've been a little "under the weather" this weekend. I was in bed all day yesterday and am home from school today. I can't remember the last time I was quite this "blah"! Anyway, exciting news from the weekend to share...first and foremost, look at my "NEW" DS 3: He got his hair cut after 3 years of growing it out. I don't think he looks like the same person. The good news is, he's happy and he likes it. I'd paste the "compare" picture, but I don't feel like digging it out of my layout right now. If you want to see the "before" click on "My Family" above and you'll see him over there....though that will change soon too.

The other pics I wanted to share are on my computer, I'm borrowing DS 3's cause DS 2 borrows mine during the day.

Am I the Only One Who's Noticed?

I don't want anyone of yesterday's initial commenters to think I took your comments as "fire". I only wanted to make sure I was not passing judgment in my post. Last night I had a FABULOUS conversation with DSs 2&3 at the dinner table. It was so neat to hear their perspectives. The conversation started with, "I cannot believe you took that post down!" So here it is with some VERY MINOR tweaks. I appreciate each person who takes the time to visit here and comment. I love hearing different perspectives and I love how they help me "work out my faith." Have a FANTASTIC FRIDAY! ~~Hugs, Susan

Time changes things. It does, doesn’t it? Sometimes the change is good. And sometimes it’s not. I’ve noticed changes recently that have me thinking.

Let me start by giving a bit of my background.

I was raised in the church; it is a mainline denomination that has had its moments of sheer liberalism. Yet, at its roots, the church was founded on John Wesley’s teachings which are heavily “laced with grace”. It was where I first told someone that I wanted to “give my heart to Jesus.” Ultimately, that same denomination is where DH ended up in ministry.

When I left for college, my home church was in a stage of “country club” type living. It was a “whatever you choose is OK for you” mentality. In fact, I remember the pastor telling us that the Bible was “just a piece of literature”. And, “you can’t take it literally.” I was disillusioned at best and wanted something more.

As a college freshman, I found myself surrounded by people who were really “sold out” for Jesus. They went to different churches, but they shared an amazing faith. I went a few times and soon found myself “recommitting my life” to the promise I’d made earlier. And I began soaking up the Bible, regular teachings about faith, and Christian music. Again, I see this time as such an important fiber of the tapestry that is my life.

But I also developed a large list of “do’s” and “don’ts” of Christian Living. I’m sure there is no need to repeat them. Because I know many of us have them memorized whether we agree with them or not.

Recently I’ve noticed that the lines in the sand that were drawn for me by those do’s and don’ts seem blurry. There are things that are “acceptable” in today’s culture and churches that simply wouldn’t have happened 20+ years ago (in some cases, even in the most liberal of places). And when I see such things, sometimes I wonder: “Hmmm..THAT’S OK? I thought I was supposed to feel guilty if I did ____________ or said ____________ or went __________________.”

Here are some of those things that have given me pause in recent years:

I would never have thought about having a glass of wine in those early years. And if I did, I’d be guilty for days. I don’t share that opinion anymore. Back then, I would never expect to hear a Christian cuss. And if I slipped…GUILT. Not that I’m saying it’s OK to be a total trash mouth…but I do know people that DO speak the occasional word, as have I (NOT God's name in vane), and none have been zapped by holy lightning bolts. I listen to a mix of music, back then many Christians who would only listen to Christian music. When I hear a Christian DJ or musician talk about mainstream and secular music, or they are watching some show on TV, it sometimes makes me stop and think, “Really HE listens to THAT? OR SHE watches THAT?” The other day, one of our radio DJs twittered about playing Texas Hold ‘Em with his son. He could have been shunned from Christian media not so long ago. And though some seem petty, the list goes on.

Over the years, I’ve learned to relax myself. I am not as quick to judge as I think I was in those early years. I have learned and experienced more about grace than I ever imagined. I know there were many times when I didn’t accept it or extend it early on in my walk.

I never want to be a “prude” and I don’t want to be such a hard line Christian that I cannot accept a different opinion or spin on something. I DO believe that what is acceptable for one person may not be for another. I also want to avoid being the “line in the sand” type that Melli discussed in her post yesterday.

I know the world is different. I know culture shifts things. I know things are not always black and white. And I'm glad. But, I'm curious, does anyone else sense these (or similar) changes? And, if you do, are they positive? Or not?

Cause I'm still making up my mind!

Removal and Editing...

It was not my intention to decide if the things I mentioned in my last (now removed) post are wrong or right. I am not trying to judge. I only wanted to make note that, in my opinion, the climate of the CHURCH (as a whole) has changed. What's acceptable seems to have changed. Many of the things I have noticed would NOT have been acceptable behavior twenty years ago for "conservative" Christians.

I did not mean to send a message of judgement. Therefore, I have removed the original post. I may rewrite and post later. In the meantime....

Am I the only person who is noticing this shift in the church at large? And do you think it is positive or negative?

Book Review: Pledged

This book was a little outside my norm. It caught my eye several months ago while browsing the "Best Sellers" aisle at the bookstore. Since I was a part of the "Greek Life" at my small college, I was curious. And I was not disappointed.


Here is a portion of the review from The New Republic:

"Robbins grapples with a terrific amount of research on Greek life, and the book that results is fascinating and, in the end, highly alarming. Pledged is amazing in the same way that reality TV is amazing: It's the car crash you can't take your eyes off of, it's the Jerry Springer episode where you have to find out if that midget chick is really a dude..."

Sacha Zimmerman, The New Republic


This sums it up pretty well. Robbins, a non-Greek 1998 Yale graduate, spent an entire year "inside" several sororities and specifically followed four young ladies who agreed to let her do so. She went undercover to really explore what was happening in the houses and among the young ladies after being told that Greeks "would not talk to the press." She is careful not to reveal their identities and handles their stories quite professionally.


I was Greek in the 80's. I know that many people would say "once Greek, always Greek". And I suppose that's true in some ways. Admittedly, many of the things she reports were totally foreign to me: date rape, hook-ups, hazing, and such. But I could totally identify with other things such as pledging, rituals, life with a bunch of 'sisters', etc....and I was also aware that horrible things often happened "in other houses" and with other groups; specifically hazing activities. Although at that time truly I thought that was more in the guys' fraternities than in the girls' sororities. And it included the horrible, degrading, physically dangerous, and mental fatigue that were part of the initiation process.

Today, hazing is also defined as "activities and situations include, but are not limited to...creation of excessive fatigue...treasure hunts, scavenger hunts, road trips...engaging in public stunts...and activities that call undue attention to a difference in status between initiated and non-initiated members." And, if you take it to the letter of the law, hazing is also having pledges wearing "pledge pins" and setting them apart from the initiated sisters.

I remember sisters who pledged my sorority as a "second choice" or "third choice" because the most popular one didn't want them. I remember one of my own pledge class sisters who was a legacy (by her Mother) to a HUGE sorority on campus and couldn't understand why as a legacy she wasn't receiving a bid. She was crushed. Her MOTHER was crushed. I remember (unfortunately) judging those girls who came through during Rush Week and deciding if we should invite them to join us or not. And I remember when the new pledges would make the run down the hill with bid cards in hand to join their new found "family".

For the most part, my collegiate experience was a positive one. But after reading Robbins' book, I realized that there were things that I never really considered about sorority life. Most important to me is why most of the 26 sororities represented by the National Panhellenic Council are "traditionally white". There are still schools in the south that will not "pledge a non-white" student. And, as Robbins notes, in some chapters there are a couple of non-white students who are sometimes seen as "tokens". This absolutely breaks my heart!

I also didn't realize how critical a role sorority life plays in some states. Most notably, Robbins reports that in Texas there are mothers who will send their daughters out of state to pledge at an "easier school" so they can return and join a "competitive sorority" house at a state university. Or, as was reported by one girl who didn't get a bid from the "family sorority", on bid day the Mother's reaction was, "NOW, how's she going to find a husband!"

Additionally, there are places where alcohol, drugs, sex, and eating disorders are rampant and absolutely the "norm" in the sorority house. I will not say that these things did not exist in my experience, but they were NOT the norm. I know some chapters on my campus had reputations. I know that this stuff existed in our house, but there was never a time when I felt like it defined who we were. And I never felt like I had to make the same choices that a few girls in my sorority did.

As I said, this is not my "normal read" or review. There are realities that some readers may find offensive. And I admit there were a couple of places where I would have rather just put my head in the sand and said, "No way, that can't be real!" But, I pushed through it because I wanted to see her picture. And I think that's exactly what Robbins gives the reader. It's a snapshot of potential experiences. It's a glimpse into the Greek world that tries so hard to remain secretive.

I also love the fact that she is not out to bash the entire Greek system. In fact, in the end, Robbins gives some suggestions for moving the entire Panhellenic system forward in a positive manner. Her suggestions are certainly ones that should be considered.

I recommend this book for a few reasons and really for a couple of specific audiences. If you are, or ever were, Greek, you may enjoy reading it as I did. If you know a girl who is thinking about rushing and joining, you may want to read it. If you are a Mom with a daughter, it's definitely written from an angle that you should know about.