DSs graduation was interesting last night. It was a celebration for approximately 160 students in the health program at our technical high school. Ds was one of only five kids to make it through the LPN program before he even graduated high school. He had grandparents, friends and family there to root him on. We were certainly proud of him.
I noticed something though...things have changed. I know that times are different and families are different and what's OK when you are in auditorium is different. I am NOT OK with the last change though. People have no (or limited) social graces anymore. People are up and in front of others....babies are screaming (and not being removed soon enough)....kids are humming loudly and not being told to stop. There were a couple of times when I thought I would come unglued! Dh even commented on how it worked me up...and that he didn't have enough life insurance for me to die of a heart attack stressing over OTHER people.
And, if it were just the little ones....I might be able to handle it. It's the adults though. They don't know how to behave. I was absolutely amazed and quite bugged.
Reading my Cousin Lynn's blog, I was reminded that I needed to suspend judgement. It was probably a little too late for I had already judged these people. I had already decided that they were lower SES and that they were there to see people who are probably at the top of their career whereas my son is just beginning his schooling and career path. I generalized that they didn't have class. I decided that they were not "fit parents" and that the one with the screaming child was probably outside smacking her when she got her away from the crowd. I judged. OUCH!
I work with many parents like these each and every day and I know the truth: THEY LOVE THEIR KIDS. And their love is just as strong as my love for my children. We are more alike than different. They don't deserve my judgement. (But then, who does?)
I am not sure how to suspend it in that situation though. I guess that I can set an example and take care of myself and teach my children well (my antsy ds 4 sat there for three hours).
I was proud even with the distractions. I cried. They were tears of pride and joy in the man this one is becoming.
And you know what, I am sure that there were many Moms, Dads, Grandparents and Friends in that room last night who were also proud of the person that they came to see...even if they weren't so quiet and still about it!! ;-)
2 comments:
Okay, I'm blanking here...what is SES? I think I know what you mean...but I slept in this morning and my mind is still not quite awake!
I can understand where you are coming from.....the circumstances from which many of your DS1 classmates come from are very similar to our children's classmates. Their graduating classes here are only about 80 or 90 students, and probably a third of those go into a program like your DS1 did, however, as you said it may be as far as they go. Our family is in the minority in terms of income and education....and that is not judgement so much as fact. It is often difficult to find a common denominator......our love for our children probably being the top one, followed by faith in God....I guess I try to keep these things in mind when I feel like I'm about to pass judgement...not that it always works;-)
You did a good thing, though, choosing to focus on DS1, remembering that those other parents also love their kids and setting an example for others to follow.
Thanks, Lynn.
SES is Socio-economic Status.
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