One of my boys is walking through a small season of disappointment. It's not something that will last forever. It's not "the end of the world"--though I am certain there are moments when it feels that way. It's just one of those things that is WRONG and we can't fix it.
Last night as I watched him and his response to it, I realized THIS is why there are helicopter parents. I don't think it's that the parent makes a conscious decision to butt into every situation and try to "fix it" for his or her child. I don't think it's that the parent believes that their child should NEVER experience disappointment or pain. I think it has more to do with a warped sense of love.
I would LOVE to ensure that my boys never fall. I would LOVE to be sure that no one ever treats them unfairly. I would LOVE to be certain that they always are successful and make it to the top. I would LOVE to be the person that takes on that pain and hurt for them.
And once again, my thoughts turn to our heavenly Father who must "want" to be a helicopter parent and swoop in every time the path we are on twists and the decisions we make go awry. Rather than making us His puppets, though, He gives us each free will to make decisions and choose directions. And then, with the utmost of love, He ensures that we know:
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my
enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the
days of my life,
and I will dwell in the
house of the LORD forever.
Likewise, I think we, as parents, need to assure our children:
When you walk through the valleys, God will be there with you...and so will we. We can't promise you'll be able to just "transport" yourself out of the valley without bruises or pain. We can't always jump in and fix things, although when we can, we will. In fact, we don't want you to think that's the way things work...sometimes you have to go through tough times. But, just like our Heavenly Father,we will be there to pick you up when you fall and help you when you hurt.
Because we LOVE you!
14 comments:
GREAT post Susan. I think it's harder for us to see our kids suffer (or our husbands too) than it is for us to suffer. The important thing is: HE never leaves us or forsakes us!!!!!! Praise God He doesn't.
Susan
Amen
Great post. We had a rough time with some things a few months ago with my son. It BROKE MY HEART to see him dealing with a tough situation. Now, however, I can see some obvious ways that he has grown because of it, and I am thankful that we had to deal with the tough situation (even though I wish it could have been easier).
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I hope things will get better soon!
Hi Susan, thanks for your powerful words..We always stand by our kids no matter how old they are or for what reason they needs us ... we are there....Hugs, Baba
Susan,
It never gets any easier to watch your kids go through something that is JUST WRONG, does it?
Great reminder that we are not always supposed to help pick up the pieces, but rather pickup our kids.
Melissa
There is nothing worse than watching your kid fall and just praying they will have the faith and motivation to get back up...Thanks for the great post.
This is great, Susan. Thanks!
Such an inspiring post. If only we could keep our kids from experiencing pain. But look what they learn when they fall. We have all been there Susan. It's just part of watching our kids grow and mature.
It must be sO comforting though at times like these to KNOW that your boys knOw HIM! I hope whichever darling son this is, that the season passes quickly and he comes out on the other end stronger in his relationship with Jesus.
Susan, I am almost in tears reading this. I understand SO well what you mean. It is so hard to watch our 'babies' suffer. We want to fix it but we can't and, more importantly, shouldn't all the time.
My prayers are with you and your son. God is good all the time.
Great message Sus...and so true. It's very hard for us not to "help"...that "Mother instinct" thing you know and you do a great job in helping the boys through those times.
LY..C
"Because we love you" says it all Susan. That is our reason for everything that we do for our children. You are just in the beginning stages of seeing things happen to your boys that you "cannot fix" I have been there way too many times with my 3!! prayer is about all you can do for them as they grow older and have to make their "own" choices. Sandy
It is hard to watch your children go through hard patches without intervening. The lessons they learn are invaluable though....so I've learned to "say little and pray much!"
I am glad I scrolled down to read this post. . . I knew there had to be a reason I saved it for my favorites. Beautiful lesson for us all to remember.
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