This is not the first time, and while I'd like to think it IS the last, the truth is, it's probably not.
I quit.
I said "yes" to something six weeks ago that would require me to be out for several nights and an entire weekend between now and March. At the time, it sounded like something I could add to my plate and do well. It was, after all, "ministry." I confess, though, that I often bite off more than I can chew. {I know that may come as a total shock to those of you who know me.}
I am a "yes" girl. I say "yes" and THEN I start to think about all the implications. I even prayed about this one. But I am fairly certain that I put the words into God's mouth. I mean I probably said, "Lord, I'd like to take part in this opportunity, OK?" Think about it. If you have a very full plate, and you pray, isn't it your tendency to not REALLY slow down and listen for an answer? Or maybe to misfire the question? Or to create your own answer by putting words into God's mouth?
For me, it's a cycle that I've repeated many times and in many ways. Today as I sent the email to tell the person that I would not be able to participate in this opportunity, I felt free. Fresh. Sitting with a clean slate. Ready to actually DO whatever it is that GOD would have Susan do...not what Susan would have Susan do.
When I really reflect, here's what I know:
I want to listen more and talk less.
I want to relinquish control and follow His will.
I want to prioritize and stick with it.
I want to be sure that my family knows they are, and always will be, FIRST (after God)!
I want to do the things that God sets before me and not chase after every "good thing" that comes along.
Yes, today I quit....but maybe, just maybe, I've just begun....
16 comments:
Don't I know what a hard lesson that is to learn. Ugh. But good insight, Susan. Praying for you. Much love, my friend.
Bravo, Susan!!
I did a little 'no-sayin' myself over the last six months and wow it felt good. i have the hardest time turning anyone down because I hate for them to have to much on their plates. The ones asking certainly aren't worried about mine! :)
This was an excellent post and saying no is something we all need to get comfortable doing.
much love,
Lisa
This is a great devotional, Susan.
Yay for you Susan!!! It is hard to say no in the beginning but after awhile you learn to get real good at it. Then you have enough quiet to really hear where God is leading you instead of 'assuming'.
This is nothing new for this lady either. I liked what you said about once you told her that you would not do this job that you "felt free". Boy can i relate to that!! I am one that is learning ever so slowly that there is a word we call...NO!! We need to learn to use it more too. I loved your list at the end. I hope and pray that you can accomplish it!!
Sandy
Good for you. Just remember that every need is not a call. You go girl. I'm proud of you for saying "No" to a good opportunity so you have a chance at doing God's best.
Oh, it is so hard to say "no".....I too am a yes girl. I say yes and then find I'm stretched so thin that I do a lot of stuff instead of one thing well. Saying no is sometimes good for us AND others....:)
Ohhhh Susan! I KNOW! I used to be a Yes Girl! I've since learned to say NO first. Then think it over -- you can always go back to the person and say "you know, I've given it some thought and I think I WOULD like to do... blah blah blah". I found this works way better for me! And if someone is really REALLY pushy and not taking my NO at first, then I say I will think about it OR I will pray about it - and that usually takes the edge off. And then I DO! Because the thing that I am the very WORST at is discernment!!! I NEED God to hit me with a BRICK so I know what He wants me to do! And I'm sure now that you've freed yourself up, He WILL find something for you to do!!! LOL! He always does....
Another great post, Susan. Learning to say "no" is a very difficult lesson to learn but soooo freeing. Then when we say "yes" we can do it with our whole heart.
Susan
Good for you! I am so much like that as well. I know the freeing feeling that comes when you release yourself from a responsibility you didn't have time for. I am getting better though!
I will definetely pray for you, but I would like to ask that you do the same for me. :-)
I know exactly what you mean about "putting words into Gods mouth". I put forth the (half hearted) effort to quiet myself, listen, and pray. But then in the 'silence' my mouth gets to talking, and the next think I know...
Praying for you. Not just so that God will help you to hear His voice, but that you will be able to make your yes be yes, and that it will bring glory to Him.
ybiC \o
Hi Susan, When I was working, the girls knew who to call if they needed help,good old Barb...I rarely turned them down and would go work and then hate myself later for taking me away from my family and wearing me down... Good for you that you can say NO and feel good about it..Hugs, Baba
It can be so hard to say no, but so very necessary sometimes. I am glad you freed yourself and thanks for the reminder to stop and listen for answers rather than always providing tham myself!
I always tell my husband I'm not a "joiner" meaning I don't say yes very often, especially when it involves committee work, etc. However, he has pointed out to me on many occasions that I do, in fact, "join" and then get frustrated about whatever I've joined and said yes to. Honestly, I get especially frustrated about the things I say yes to at church, as it often involves men who think they have to make the decisions and the women have to do all the work. And then it takes SEVERAL men to make a simple decision like picking a date. Ditto for my subdivision social stuff (remember my post about The Pool Lady?) I'm with you on the "joining". Saying no might really lead us to saying yes to what really matters.
Good for you!!! Saying no is so hard, but boy, the pressure that is lifted feels sooo good!
As a member - an unhappy/miserable member - of our church vestry for 2 more arduous years... I think you did the right thing!
I'm only sticking it out because a good friend of mine is there with me. Mr. was going to take my place and they said he couldn't... gotta love that!! So... 2 more years... 24 more meetings... 1000 more things to do...
I can make it! And I will... But I won't like it and I told them so.
xo
LBC
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