Did you?

I can remember reaching the end of some days in the regular classroom (after staring at 25 kids all day) when I would stop and ask, "Did you say something nice today?" It didn't happen often, but when it did, I'd just had a "cranky one" and I would find myself reflecting on how much of that I'd passed on to those children in my care. Sadly, sometimes my answer was "No, I don't remember many kind words." or "Hmmm...I'm not sure."

Lately I've been drained. Really drained. There are many reasons for this. It's the season of the year where life gets extremely busy for me. I coordinate our state testing at our school site, so it's time to crunch numbers, check and double check materials, and make sure all goes well with this exam. It's also the season where people start planning for the next school year...including job assignments. It looks like mine should stay the same again, but it's always a time of questioning anyway.

Beyond the job, our family has experienced much change in the past few months. LG brings us great joy, but it's still a change having another person around. Having DSs 1 an 2 move out has been a whole different kind of change. We're down to two drivers vs. the three that we had the entire time DS 2 was here at home.

Yesterday, we learned of the death of a person that DH and I went to school with years ago. She was our age (45), the wife of a fellow United Methodist Pastor, and mother to four children (teen - college). She had pneumonia and lost the fight very quickly. Terri was a positive person who loved the Lord. She always had a kind word or a smile for everyone. It's just plain sad.

Yesterday and today it's been on my mind. A lot. When I think about how drained I've been...the familiar question-- "Have you said kind words today?" has entered my mind followed closely by, "Have you laughed and smiled today?"

It's evident to me that these are the things that you leave behind when you go. It's when you've been kind and loving to others that you make an impact. And when you find the time to smile and find joy in life, it is contagious.

So....for you and for me:

Did you say kind words today?

Have you laughed and smiled?

It's time!

An Open Letter to Her Mother

{I wrote this note a few days ago before LG received a phone call out of the blue from her Mother last night. It could be written to any Mother with a child who does not live with her. It's kind of my inquiring mind.}

Dear ________,


For some reason, you've been on my mind tonight more than usual. I don't know why. Maybe it's because you called her a few weeks ago, promised to call the very next day, and we still wait. Perhaps it's because the people from visitation called today to set up the appointment for her to see you. Perhaps it's because I really am wondering about you.


You gave birth, not just to her, but to six other children. Seven kids. Ages three to seventeen. For the most part, they have not been with you for any extended period of time. But I have such a hard time believing that you don't think about them.


I just finished helping your little girl with her Valentine's Cards. Tonight I realized that your middle little girl has been in my family for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now Valentine's. And, in that time, she's spoken to you on the phone ONE time. Once!


Where is your sense of urgency? I cannot imagine for one second missing the day-to-day happenings of my children's lives. And, honestly, most mothers I know are exactly the same regardless of income, life situations, and/or emotional stability. Do you ever feel the urge to see her? Call her? Do you wonder what she's doing when she's away from you?


I really would like to know.

You see kids love their parents. They are pretty much wired that way. And they extend grace and mercy MUCH quicker than any adult does. She is no different. But each broken promise and each missed event whittles away at her trust. If you say you're going to call, call!

Regardless of what her future holds---or what yours does---she needs it.

A WHY?? and a WOW!!

DS 4 is officially in the tween years. He turned 11 a few weeks ago. I have to say that these years (between 10 and 14) have not been my favorites for any of the guys. It's such a time of transition for them. I've been thinking a lot about how each of the first three navigated these waters and praying especially for DS 4 as he takes his turn. And, of course, it makes me reflective!

Today I was at the store with him. He was spending his birthday money from his grandparents. While there, he wanted something and I said "no". He's definitely mastered the art of trying to persuade. In fact, I was thinking today that this skill should serve him well on our state writing exam in the 8th grade where he'll likely have to write a persuasive essay. Still, like most of us, his list of "reasons" can often sound like whining.

Like any younger sibling, they LOVE to throw the "But so-and-so got such-and-such and you didn't say no..." While listening to it (and practicing the art of not feuling it) I saw a young Mother stroll by with three kids in the cart. The one in the front looked to be an older toddler or even young preK child. He had a HUGE pacifier sticking out of his mouth. I confess my FIRST thought was "Wow, he seems to be a bit old for THAT!" Followed quickly by this thought, "Why don't they make a pacifier for the tween set?" At least I might be able to elicit a little peace and quiet when it's needed.

Honestly, right after that I could only imagine how many times someone might like to have one for ME! I am sure there's times the boys would like for me to just be quiet. And likewise I'm sure DH has had that thought a time or three or four! Add to that my friends, my extended family, my colleagues and God. While I try not to do it often...I know that we all have our "whiny moments" when we are behaving like the child we used to be---pleading to have things just our way.

I prayed then that God would help me recognize it when it rises in me. I also whispered a prayer of thanks that my kids really ARE past that age. I know that no age or stage lasts forever---thank goodness!

And in the WoW! department.

While we were out shopping, I took back an iPod player that I purchased a few weeks ago back to Target. Here's the deal...I couldn't find the receipt. I didn't have the box, the instruction manual...or anything else but the player and the little things that came with it. It seemed to be working fine on all accounts BUT when you put the iPod in it, nothing comes out. Soooo...I went with the purpose of having someone help me with it or calling the company so I could figure it out.

I didn't even KNOW which credit card I used!

I packed up all the pieces I did have in a pampered chef box and took it to customer service. The lady at the counter said, "You need to go back to electronics and find the exact model and then I can look it up on one of your cards." DS 4 and I found it on display, but no boxes. The girl back there wrote all pertinent information down for me. We picked out an alternate model and returned to the front desk.

I gave the lady the number and she found it in about two seconds flat! She scanned the new machine and I was out the door in about 15 minutes total! Not ONE question asked. AMAZING!

Soooo....there ya' go a WHY? and a WOW! from my neck of the woods! Happy Saturday!

Flushing it out...

As I indicated in my last post, I've been in somewhat of a funk lately. Again I want to reiterate that I know that my "issues" pale in comparison to the plight of so many people in the world. Still it's been a rough few weeks. I'm emotionally drained.

Some of you know that I work on our church's Servant Evangelism team. This means that we go out into the community to spread random acts of service and kindness in the name of Jesus. We have done many many different types of outreach here in our community. Saturday, though, was by far the most unique!
After reading about this in Steve Sjogren's book 101 Ways to Reach Your Community, our team decided we wanted to give a "toilet bowl outreach" a try. Yes, you read that right.

Here's the gist of it: You go into a business in the community and tell the employees that you'd like to give them a break today and help out by scrubbing the toilets. Of course, as you might expect, some people say yes and others say no. You NEVER do this AFTER visiting the bathroom first. But you always let the people know that it's our way of saying, "God loves you" and taking an often unwanted task off their hands.

A few weeks ago, at our planning meeting, I thought "yeah, I'm ready for this. Should be a great experience and totally unexpected." Honestly, this morning it was the LEAST and LAST thing that I wanted to do--with the exception of, perhaps, a root canal. I even conjured up excuses to let the participants know that I had to back out.

So, with my van filled with cleaning supplies, I headed off to meet the team. While driving to church, the clash of thoughts were swirling around my head: "I could just bow out. I mean I HAVE purchased all the things and set the teams up for success." "I could tell them that I'll pray for them."

THEN a still small voice whispered "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, SERVE." AND "The best way to get above your circumstance is to bend down and help someone else."

The "Set the example and get out of your comfort zone and beyond yourself" argument won. When I arrived, the team was smaller than expected. A team of four of us set out to local gas stations, convenience stores, and drug stores. What happened next was simply amazing!

Our team had two men and two women. When we asked the managers of the stores if we could give them a break, they were nothing short of blown away! Even those people who said, "No." were quite amazed and glad for the offer. One manager said, "That might be the oddest request I've ever had." Then he said, "Sure...if you want to clean 'em, go ahead."

At least a few times, we were able to tell people waiting on and/or visitng the restrooms what we were doing and why. Even THEY were surprised by this random act of kindness.

After spending a little more than an hour out in the community cleaning, we wrapped up. And, again, I was reminded the joy that comes in service. It's a pleasure to put a smile on people's faces. It's immeasurable in so many ways. We never know when our act of kindness might plant a seed that will grow into full-blown faith for another.

Sjogren says this is his favorite SE activity. He also says that this is the "most rejected" activity they do...yet, because of it's impact they do it again and again.

For me it was SO WORTH IT! My negative spirit was quickly flushed away. And all it took was a few toilet brushes, rags, and cleaners---oh, and a willing spirit!

Three Tragedies in a Week

If I were to take a more positive tone with this title, I would probably name it "Life is Precious". Every once in a while events happen that make you think just how fragile life on earth really is. This has been one of those weeks for me.

On Tuesday we learned that a co-worker's husband had suddenly passed away during a hospital procedure. He wasn't sick. He had some swelling over the weekend and was in the hospital to be checked out. It was quick and completely unexpected.

Yesterday we received an update on another colleague that has been out for a few weeks now. Initially we heard that she was going to have "back surgery". Then we heard things were "not good". Now we found out that she is in stage 4 cancer and has been moved into a Hospice house.

Then last night I came home to learn more about the Ft. Hood massacre.

Life is precious. When I reflect on these lives, the two I know/knew and those I don't, I immediately think about faith. I only know these people on an acquaintance/collegial level. I really know nothing at all about what's inside. I don't know what they believe or don't believe.

I am certain that my faith is what would sustain me through a difficult time such as this. And I know that God cares for those who have lost a husband, father, grandfather. He also cares deeply for those who are in the final stages of life. And He loves each person that witnessed, was injured, and/or died in the horrible tragedy on an army base yesterday.

My prayer is that somehow, in these days of change, that He will be revealed to each of these people in some tangible way. And, my prayer also is that if I can somehow reach out and share that love, that I will. Because one thing is for sure, a missed opportunity could only add to the tragedies!

In the nick of time...

I NEEDED this today. I hope it encourages you too.