True Confessions...

I sat down to do my Thursday Thirteen post tonight and this is what happened:

I am working through the "ABC's of Me". This week should be "N" week. So, I started with my regular TT ritual of brainstorming the weekly letter in my head. These are the first "N" words that came to mind: nappy, nosey, noisy, nil.

Then I sat up and started analyzing THAT brainstorm....

Nappy? I don't think so unless we are talking about taking a little siesta "nappy"...and that is simply not how I talk. In fact, I hate it when grown adults add "y's" on the end of words that simply don't normally have them. You know like "Would you like a little huggy?" Or "Do you want to take a walky with your wifey?" You get the picture.

Nosey? OK I admit sometimes this is a good description of me. BUT, and this is a big BUT, I am really not as nosey as I once was. I never was "Gladys Cravitz" kind of nosey (I'm dating myself now, so maybe I should use "nostalgia" when I actually DO this thing). But, I am way too busy to be nosey much anymore.

Noisy? I think I'm pretty quiet most of the time. Although it's possible that those in my family might disagree and think this is a viable "N" word for my Thursday Thirteen list.

And "Nil"? That's just not right. I am not sure WHAT that means or WHERE that came from...but it's going back into the brainstorm file for another time when I feel like really figuring it all out.

Soooooo I decided to forgo the list this week.

While I'm confessing, though, I want to go ahead and get something else off my chest:

I'm a comment addict. There. I said it.

At one time I was a site meter addict. I stopped looking at it and now hardly even give it a second thought. Just before I left on my cruise, however, there was a day when I got several comments followed by a day of very few comments. And the day I got so few was one I wanted to hear from people. So, I decided to check the meter once again.

When I got there, I kept seeing this "visitor" from a little town about an hour and a half north of where I live. A few hits on the "back button" and the history was clear that this person had been visiting me for several weeks. Multiple times each day. I was absolutely furious that this person kept visiting and never commented. I mean how can you be a "neighbor" and not say "hello"? Not even one little eensy weensy comment.

Then I clicked out of my blog and checked back about 15 minutes later---a good sign that you're a comment addict. Nothing. I clicked over to site meter to see my "northern neighbor" was on at the SAME TIME. Then, reminding myself that I lack true computer savvy, and possibly being hit by a blogging lightbulb, I asked my 13 yo..."can you tell when our own computer logs in on this thing?" And he said, yes. Then he proceeded to show me how to match the number on my laptop with the one in my site meter.

Lo and behold, I am the one who has been visiting my OWN blog and not leaving comments! Rest assured that my site meter addiction is quite under control. I haven't been back since that revelation.

But the comment addiction is a whole other story. I like to hear from those in bloggy world. It's part of my "social side". I enjoy visiting blogs and leaving comments too. Truly I believe if you want comments, you have to give them. My Mama DID teach me the Golden Rule. I want to remember, though, that there are all kinds of people in the world and thus bloggers in the "sphere". I know that not everyone is a commenter and that's got to be OK. It's what makes this such a unique medium.

So this confession is the first part of my "treatment". The second part took place when I really thought about WHY I blog.

It's really for me anyway. It's a place to record my thoughts, my feelings, my faith journey, my family stories, the lessons I learn, and the everyday happenings that make up my life. It's a place to get and be real. It's a place to laugh and cry and simply be. And none of that requires an audience. Although, I'll be honest, an audience is nice sometimes. It's not so much wanting attention as it is wanting true reflection. It's that opportunity to push my thinking a bit...share experiences...and learn together. But, if it's really for "me", then those days when it's "comment lite" should not bother me. So I'm letting go here and now.

Whew! Now I feel better.

If you're reading this, though, could you please tell me how you feel about comments on your blogs? Oops...that may have just set me back to square one of my treatment...but go ahead. Tell me anyway. Cause, tomorrow's another day!