As I drove home, exhausted, from my first day at work I received a call from my DH. He told me that DS 4 was going to "go spend the night at Max's" house. I'm sure the look on my face, if he could have seen it, spoke volumes. You see Max is not someone we've known more than a week. In fact, I don't know him at all. DS 2 does. He and DS 4 met Max and his Mother last week at Soccer Camp. They live in a very nice housing development about 25 minutes up the road from us.
Max came and played at my house last week...and I was OK with that. I like it when they come to us. Quite frankly, I like my "chicks to be IN the nest"....OUR nest.
I spoke with Max's Dad last week in a frenzied phone call where both boys "put their parent on the phone" so that we could figure out how they could get together. He was nice. But I still didn't know his name...only "Max's Dad". And, until last night, I didn't know Max's Mom's name either.
DH has talked with both parents more than I as he has been home these past two weeks being the "house parent" while I have been preparing for the start of school. I don't know WHEN in our 20 years of marriage I learned this, but here's what I know: Men simply don't worry about little "insignificant" details like we do. I know my DH is no exception as I have heard it again and again from wives and mothers everywhere. Maybe we should learn from them.
So, as I coached DS 4 on HOW to spend the night at someone's house via the phone on the drive home, I also gave DH my list of things I wanted to know. I'm quite aware that he's a capable Father...just sometimes our expectations are different.
When I got home, in the middle of a horrible thunder storm, Max's Mom called and said, "I made a wrong turn getting to your house." I really wanted to reply "I don't even KNOW where YOUR house is!" But, as the rainwater on my hair and skin began to dry I gave her directions from where she made the wrong turn.
The rain continued outside as I looked at the storm that had happened inside during the day. It seems that DS 1 is trying to fit in all the things he "needs to do" before leaving for boot camp. He set up the entire band in my living room...there wasn't ONE place for me to invite this Mother to come and sit in my house! I reminded myself that I like having the CHICKS in MY nest---even if it means there are musical instruments everywhere.
I told myself that she wouldn't want to drag her family into the house anyway in this downpour. So DS 4 and I met her in the front of the house. She and I stood under the umbrella and introduced ourselves to one another. I gave her all the phone numbers. I watched my DS 4 excitedly jump into her Lexus SUV and I waved goodbye.
And I realized that ALL my boys WILL have to spread their wings and fly one day. In fact, in one way or another they are all at some stage of "flying". And this is how it starts, one trip away from home at a time, until they will finally not be here anymore. And I am certain that I'll be LONGING for more indoor storms.
And while I'm happy for them, I'm a bit sad for me. Now I think I'M raining on the inside!
9 comments:
Yeap you are raining on the inside. I understand that feeling!! It is very normal and you being the good mama that you are this is something that you have to understand!! i had a really bad time when all of my kids left completely! I did not know what to do with myself. You have a career and my ONLY career was that of being a MOM!! Now i seemed to have nothing left to BE!! you are going to be fine!! We all seem to make it through these days. But you are starting to see them coming!! Blessings, Sandy
Oh I so want to clip my daughter's wings!!! But I know this day is coming as she heads into the teen years....that is why I did not push a lot of activities this summer...I wanted her all to myself. Selfish I know...but she is teetering on the edge of being a teenager and then it's...it's all about her friends ;) I know what you are talking about.
I can relate, as I sent my kids off to school this year for the very first time. This is the second day, and it's so quiet. I'm wondering if I will ever get used to my new "normal". I would have a hard time letting any child--no matter the age--go spend the night with someone who's parents I didn't know. I don't blame you for being concerned.
I finally saw where you mentioned DS1 enlisting in the Guard.
That, along with today's post, has me thinking about my own little 'arrows'.
I'm not ready for that yet.
I almost laughed out loud as I read about the difference between you and your beloved. No, I don't worry about the little 'insignificant' details either. But you know what... I can't count how many times one of those 'little details' came in handy. Praise God for allowing me to be paired up with one you (women) so that it got taken care of. LOL
Awww, Susan! (((Hugs))) It's bittersweet, isn't it?
I'm very protective about where my girls are, too. I don't blame you one bit for wanting all the details. Like you, I wouldn't have it any other way. And, nope, LOL, men don't always think of the things we do.
While I haven't experienced all of this yet, my heart aches for you. I know it must be hard. But I am praying for you my friend.
Hugs!
I am moved by the emotion in your post.
Susan
Awwww Mama... you got too many changes happening all at once. ((((Hugs)))) It's all gonna be okay... They sure DO have to spread their wings... and honestly, I think it's harder for Mom's to let their SONs fly than their daughters. The reason being that we KNOW how to be strong women and trust our daughters to be strong women too... but we expect our boys to need to be taken care of... forever and ever... Amen. And ya know what? Even once they've all flown... they will STILL want you to take care of them when they come home!!! (and then you'll wish they didn't!) LOL!
With my first starting kindergarten, I have been feeling like this all the time! Too bad we can't freeze time. As proud as I am to see them grow, I just wish it would go more slowly!
Post a Comment