Thursday Thirteen # 35

Thirteen Random Things that SUSAN has done (or thought) this week:

1. I have SO MUCH shopping to do before Christmas! I have bits and pieces done, but it is only bits and pieces.

2. I planned my "holiday" gift for the teachers in my school. I am "giving" them 30 minutes away from their classroom while I go in and teach a lesson. I think I am going to give them cookies and hot chocolate when I go in.

3. We went to the Italian buffet for DH's birthday. As I said earlier, he doesn't like to make a big deal about it...but my DSs do...especially #4. #4 "played" Happy Birthday on the piano and revealed his gift from the bench...toooo cute!!! I think DH appreciated it. DS 2 sent a nice text message from his soccer game...another gesture that I think touched DH.

4. I met a friend for dinner last night. It felt like forever since we have just sat and talked. I love these types of "get togethers".

5. I am supposed to have a Pampered Chef party on Dec. 11th. Once again, I am reminded that I can't do it all...so I think I am going to cancel it.

6. I REALLY want to get my Christmas decorations up...I have the BUG this year!! There are 27 boxes of decorations in my attic that the boys will have to get out for me.

7. I DO like it when DH is here during the week.

8. I also like the fact that, in a few weeks, consulting will be his only job. Doing 2+ is just too much.

9. DS 2 is cleared to play for soccer again. He starts at the varsity game tonight.

10. Next week is going to be CRAZY...we have something going on EVERY NIGHT!!!

11. I am looking forward to the holiday break from school. I need it to rest. (Who am I kidding? It really doesn't bring THAT much rest.)

12. I am behind on writing again. This is an example of "extra" jobs that I need to balance better or reconsider.

13. DS 1 asked me last night if "they" give us TT topics or how we get them. I told him that we pick them ourselves. Today, I kind of wished that suggested topics were posted somewhere.

;-)

Happy Thursday, everyone!!

Wordless Wednesday: When I Think About Peace....

This is where I dream to be....

Happy Birthday to YOU!!

Today's my Dh's birthday. He doesn't like to "do" birthdays too much...and that's OK. And while we don't make a huge deal about it...I have to say that each and every time it rolls around I whisper a prayer of thanks for the day he was born. I am sure that God knew on that day that someday we would meet and that I would be blessed by being married to this wonderful man. I cannot imagine what life would be without him. It's been an exciting, adventurous, happy, 20-year experience!! I'm so glad he was born and that he was picked for me and that we get to spend many many more years together. So, while his birthday might not be a "huge deal" to him...it DOES mean a GREAT DEAL for me...because he's a real gift!!

I love you, Hon!!

It's also my cousin, Lynn's birthday. Why not hop on over to her blog and give her a BIRTHDAY greeting!!!!

Happy Birthday DH and Lynn!!

Monday Memories--Christmas Shopping

I love to shop for the holidays. I usually go the day right after Thanksgiving and hit all the stores. I also pick up stuff throughout the year. I keep a journal telling who I shop for each Christmas and what we get them. I have done this since 1999.

I want to tell about shopping early in our marriage though. Dh and I were living in Kentucky. We were definitely POOR seminary students with a young son. Christmas shopping for everyone was a challenge for me. I love to buy gifts...and knowing we couldn't really afford gifts, I was sad. That Thanksgiving was just dh, DS 1 and I at our home. I don't remember seeing the add, but Lazarus had an "After Thanksgiving Sale". That year, they were giving away free Lazzie Bears (just like the one in this picture) for EVERY purchase.

Now, let me explain. When we got there, we found out that for EVERY item you purchased, you could get a free Lazzie Bear. DH and I bought socks, underwear...anything cheap and necessary and we left Lazarus that year with 20---yes, that's right TWENTY Lazzie Bears! I am pretty sure we didn't just give them away that year...but perhaps the next two years after that. I've never seen a store do that before or since....it was a blessing to a poor seminary student an his teacher wife though..that I KNOW for sure.

I have since lost my Lazzie Bear. I found this picture on eBay and this memory just came flooding back. While I wouldn't go back to that time in our lives for anything, I am thankful for the ways that God provided for us as we struggled to "make it". This is just one of many many examples of blessings that we received during those lean times. And yes, I even think He cared enough to help us be able to give that Christmas....those cute fluffy, white lovable bears!!

Happy Monday Everyone!!

The A-Z of Me Meme

Jane at Cozy Reader tagged me with this meme...Please check the "T"...you MIGHT be tagged...and if you're name's not there, let me encourage you to do it anyway for fun.

The A-Z of Me Meme

A - Available/Single? I am unavailable and proud of it---19 (pushing 20) years!!

B - Best Friend? My husband

C- Cake or Pie? Cake--Chocolate please! BUT Cherry Pie is a VERY close second.

D - Drink Of Choice? Diet Coke!! Especially from Sonic!

E - Essential Item You Use Everyday? My Laptop.

F - Favorite Color? Green

G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Bears

H - Hometown? I was born in Marion, OH but grew up in Tampa, FL.

I - Indulgence? A trip to Chicos

J - January Or February? January---Super Bowl!!!!

K - Kids & Their Names? 4 sons---no names here/just initials---D, M, J, and A.

L - Life Is Incomplete Without? My husband, children, and extended family.

M - Marriage Date? August 15, 1987

N- Number Of Siblings? 2 brothers

O - Oranges Or Apples? Oranges

P - Phobias/Fears? Small spaces and FROGS!!!

Q - Favorite Quote? "You can if you think you can!"

R - Reason to Smile- My boys are growing into fine young men....

S - Season? Fall (outside of Florida)

T - Tag Three People? KT (KT Chronicles); Lynn (Seeking Thin Spaces); Greg and Christie (Carrkaylary) HOPING to JUMPSTART Lynn and Greg's blogging again!!!

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I was in the Sound of Music when I was a child....I was Gretel (I know that some of you know this already)

V - Vegetable you don't like? BEETS!!!!!

W - Worst Habit? Biting off WAY more than I can chew!!!!!!

X - X-rays You've Had? I think only dental exrays recently....

Y - Your Favorite Food? Italian.....LOVE Chicken Marsala

Z - Zodiac Sign? Leo, but I don't pay any attention to that stuff.

The Friday After...

Normally I go to the stores bright and early the day after Thanksgiving. Normally, I map it all out and go with a plan. I'm out all day and don't come back until I am ready to drop. I mapped nothing out yesterday. I glanced at the adds...but it was literally a glance. Nothing excited me. I didn't feel great. So I slept "in" until just after 7:00am. DH DID look at ads. He DID plan a bit. He and DS 2 left just after 7:30 for the mall. I told him I "might" go out a bit.

DSs 3 and 4 and I DID go to Michaels, to Old Navy, Best Buy, and Walmart. I dropped them off at home mid-morning and went to Sports Authority and Home Depot.

By the time I got home at 1:00, I WAS ready to drop...though not from shopping. I was just tired...still not totally up to par. SO, this afternoon I did something I rarely do on the Friday after Thanksgiving, I SLEPT!! For two hours. It was WONDERFUL!

When I woke up, I worked on our Christmas Cards (getting the photo order)...it took FOREVER. I was starting to think that we'd have to send out Hannukah cards since those were the only styles that didn't cut off my DS 2's head in the photo!! I finally fixed that tonight and Christmas Cards ARE in our future.

After watching Shrek 2 with DS 4 and DH, I am blogging, then I am off to bed.

Hope your Friday was also wonderful!

Wordless Wednesday--Thanksgivings Past

DS 1 (1992) DS 2 (1992)
DS 3 (1998)

DS 4 and Great Grandma (2000)

Thanksgiving Memories....

Since I'm Counting My Blessings this week, AND it's Monday Memory time, I thought I'd share some Thanksgiving Memories with you.

As a child, I remember traveling to Georgia a few times on Thanksgiving to visit my Grandparents. We usually had some other extended family there...Aunts, Uncles, Cousins. It was always cooler there than it was in Florida. I loved the "crispness" of all of it. The day was always filled with parades, food and football (both indoors and outdoors).

I can picture Grandpa sitting in "his chair" right next to the sliding glass door. He was always ready to let a kid or the dog in or out. He'd play "Ladies go pace, pace, pace" (or as he said it, "paize, paize, paize") with the youngest children in the room....or he'd "whisper" in your ear...which meant a great deal of laughter was coming. I miss him so much.

As we grew older, we celebrated in Florida more often and Grandma and Grandpa would come down here. The day was always the same though...the same food, the same parades, the same football...and the SAME FUN!!

I still remember the first year DH and I were married. We traveled to Georgia for Thanksgiving. I was a couple months pregnant and didn't feel good. It was an emotional rollercoaster for me...and probably HORMONE H#!! for my DH. Thank goodness he didn't just turn around and "run"...instead he loved me as he always has...he put up with the rollercoaster and was ever-patient with my emotions. Now I look back and laugh at that year...trying to be the perfect "just married/just pregnant" couple...who were we (OK who was I) trying to kid?????

We have traveled to Tennessee twice in the past decade or so for Thanksgiving. This is always fun as it puts a whole new "spin" on the holiday. We again were able to meet with our extended families and enjoy the crispness and delights of the holiday together.

I have "hosted" Thanksgiving in my own home several times in the past few years as well. I enjoy the preparation...I enjoy the fullness of the house...the love and joy that permeates every crevice as we converge on the holiday. It's a holiday that really has no expectations other than to enjoy (and be thankful for) those you love and the blessings you have.

For us, there are many....and those make the BEST MEMORIES!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEK, EVERYONE!!

Count Your Blessings...

As was probably true in many churches today, DH preached about being thankful and remembering our blessings. A couple of weeks ago, he mentioned that everyone should write down all the blessings they can remember. He suggested that when we are negative, blue, sad, whatever, that we should pull out that list and see the blessings...and we probably won't feel so sad, negative, or blue. Today, he said it again.

Immediately, my mind went to the hymn that we used to sing in church when I was little,

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done.

It's a good idea. We forget so often to stop and see the blessings that are around us everyday. In fact, I think we often take them for granted.

May we all take the time this week to count our blessings and be thankful for each and every one.

More Prayer Requests

Last month, I put this request up on my blog. Today, I am asking you to please continue to remember my SIL, Heather and her family. Heather is facing more medical treatment and chemo. Of course, anytime, this would be stressful, but add the holidays in and I'm sure that doesn't make it easier. You can visit her blog to read a great post about the shock and awe she has experienced in the last couple of days.

Thank you, in advance, for your prayers on her behalf.

More Geometry Lessons...

As I stated in my last post, DS 3 was struggling with Geometry last night. He is in the 7th grade. I took Geometry in the 8th grade and I did HORRIBLE!! I remember struggling and never understanding its relevance to me or the rest of the world, for that matter. I admitted this to DS 3 and I guess DS 4 overheard.

This morning, as DS 4 and I rode to school, he seemed puzzled. He finally spoke up and said, "Mom, you didn't understand Geometry when you were a kid?" I told him that was right. He said, "And you still don't understand it very well?" I said, "That's right." Then, he paused a long time. Finally, he said, "Mom, you do 'get it' at my level, don't you? I mean, you DO understand squares, triangles and circles, right?"

I assured him that 2nd grade Math was within my capabilities...and that I DO know what a circle, triangle, and square is. He simply replied, "Good!"

I know my limitations....

We all have areas that just aren't our forte'. Today's been filled with gentle reminders that it's OK to have them...and that I DO have them....

**My "Alice" called me from my house today and said, "I've torn your house up and I don't want you to be shocked when you get home." She cleans my house and does our laundry for us every week. She is a GOD-SEND and a very dear friend on top of it all. Anyway, after I reminded her that it's her job to pick up and clean up not to tear up...she told me...."we've got to tear up to clean up." M (her DIL) cleaned all my windows (inside and out), the screens, and their tracks. R (her son) moved a lightswitch for DS 3's new room. As I talked to her tonight she said, "I know you don't know where to start sometimes, so I started for you." My limitation (in this case) is totally HER strength. For that, I am thankful.

**I WANT to be superMom and be able to cook and keep up with the boys. The fact is, they are going in four different directions. Tonight was a late night (I have a meeting every Monday until 6:00pm). I totally understand why my Mom didn't want to cook when she got home at 6:00pm. It'd be all I did...so for those of you who live in the vacinity of Moe's Southwest Grill, "If it's Monday, it must be Moe's." We got their $5 for any burrito, chips, and drink deal. You can't beat that.

**DS 3 is doing his Math homework and just called me into the room. He started with "I know you're probably not the one for me to ask this, but..." (He already knew my limitations in this area.) Math is simply NOT my thing. Never has been. Even worse, however, is that he is doing the Math that I disliked the MOST of all: Geometry. I sat down with him. I looked at the samples. I tried to think aloud. I listened to his rationale. I offered to call my friend, Debra, who IS a Math Whiz. He says he got it when he talked it out with me. I could only shrug and say "OK". I'm limited for certain in this area.

**After the "Math Lesson", I went into MY bathroom. It's the first time tonight I've been in my room. SOMEONE clogged the toilet today and didn't plunge!! After 20 minutes of plunging, it finally unclogged. You might say, "if you got it, then it's not a limitation." The limitation here is that I simply am NOT cut out to be Mrs. Fix-it. I'm glad it worked this time. Being a plumber, however, is not a hat I care to wear too often.

Isn't it amazing that despite our limitations, God provides for our needs? I'm thankful for the fact that we have limitations is not a sentence for failure. Instead, our limitations are avenues of blessing from other people and situations. For that, I am thankful.

She's Going Away...

I only paid $25 for her! TWENTY-FIVE! I gave another $25 to get the six chairs with her. I remember that day so well. I was out garage-saling. We were new in the area and trying to furnish our new home on a budget. I came upon an elderly lady's garage sale. She was down-sizing to move into a smaller apartment. I fell in love with her the minute I saw her. I asked, "How much?" The lady replied "Twenty-five." For a minute, I thought she meant $2500 and I was shocked. But then she said, "You can have her and the chairs for fifty dollars." I immediately went over to my FIL's house and woke him up to bring his van to help me bring her home. And here she's been ever since.

I remember the lady being a bit sad about losing HER table. She told me about the dinners she and her family had held around it. She told me it had been used with her kids when they were younger and her grandkids. I promised her it was going to be used for many of the same purposes in our home. I told her what a blessing I knew it would be. I was right.

Here "she" is in the picture below (at the far end, closest to the window) ready for Thanksgiving last year. We had to add two "extensions" to her to fit everybody.

The second picture shows her doing what she does best, entertaining family and friends for special occasions. (Note: This is "her" looking towards the extension tables.)



Here she is below, all dressed up for our Christmas Open House last year. This has been an annual event in our house since DH and I started in the ministry. I have loved having her here for it because she extends to such a nice size to hold all the yummy food!!

Here she is at DS 3's birthday celebration this summer. She's not particularly dressed up...just providing us a great place to eat all the yummy food. DSs 2 and 4 are waiting for the "go ahead" to dive into their lobster feast.

You might be wondering, then, "WHERE'S she going?" Well, we are a growing family. Not in numbers, but the boys are getting bigger and they need their space. DS 3, especially, has been shifted around in our house. He needs a place to call his own. We are closing this dining room "nook" in to make a bedroom/office space. It will have a wall and french doors to close it off. This will make it usable as an office or small dining room (should we ever sell) and usable now for DS 3's bedroom--something he desparately needs.

I have no room for her now. I realize that we really only use her on very special occasions because most of the time we eat at the dining area of our kitchen. It's sentimental, I guess. I love the fact that she extends to hold so many. I love the fact that she is solid wood with some very neat scrollwork on her sides. I'm a little sad. I know that sounds strange. I won't miss her in the way you miss people when they leave. I'll miss being able to "dress" her up for the holidays and special occasions, the joy of feeding so many people around her, and the memories she dredges up (in general). I NOW understand what was happening in the lady's mind as she watched her table be loaded into my FIL's van. Yes, I'll miss her!!

Do you know...

that feeling of being alone,a bit unnerved, kind of blue, and being on the verge of a pity party...and then suddenly feeling like all is right in the world because a loved one comes home by surprise and suddenly security, peace, and comfort fills the room?

I DO! DH came home EARLY last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE that man!!!
DH is in the middle of a lot of travel right now. He is coming home on Fridays, leaving on Sunday afternoon and out for the week. I love it that he is able to do this. But I miss him when he's gone. Last night, I was expecting him at midnight...and when I pulled in from dropping DS 3 off at the church retreat, DS 4 shouted, "DAD'S HOME!" It took me a minute to believe it...but sure enough he was. What a GREAT surprise and a blessing!

When Negative Nellie Comes to Call....

Do you ever get cranky? I do. Last night, I started out for the hospital at 3:45. I had to pick up DS 3 from school at 4:15. We got gas and were on the road by 4:45. This is a trip that normally takes only an hour. Last night it took an hour and forty-five minutes! We finally arrived at the hospital after CRAWLING on the Interstate for the last 45 minutes of our trip.

When we got to the hospital, Dad was tired. He'd had several visitors throughout the day and probably hadn't rested as he should. It was evident that he needed to rest and having us there was NOT going to help him accomplish this. SOOO...15 minutes after arriving, my brothers, SIL, DSs 3 and 4, and I left.

When I got back in the car, I called DH (who's been out of town since Sunday) to remind him about something he needed to do. He responded and I found myself escalating and snapping at him. Poor man. He hasn't even been home and he was on the receiving end of MY "crabby patty".

We went to dinner. I suddenly realized just how tired I was. It came over in a wave. DS 4 (who was also tired) was also crabby and I snapped at him on the way home.

This morning I woke up and promised myself I'd settle down. I didn't. DS 1 didn't do something the way I wanted it done--and I found my "Negative Nellie" resurfacing.

When I arrived at work, my boss called me on the Walkie Talkie to see if I could meet with him this morning. Of course, we ALL know that the RIGHT answer is "OF COURSE I can!" I must admit my "cloud" made me jump to all kinds of negative conclusions about WHAT he wanted. I don't know why. I had no reason to think this meeting was going to be negative...I think I just projected my attitude on the prospect of this meeting. It turned out to be very positive. Shame on me!!

Then, this afternoon I had a conversation with my brother Dan and I said, "I hope I wasn't too crabby last night." I said, "I don't want to be that way." He said, "You can blog about how you're learning not to be negative."

Here's my blog...It's a lesson I'm going to learn...one way or another!! Thanks, Dan, for the reminder. :-)

On a POSITIVE note: DS 3 fixed my TT from yesterday and made the two colors match. Isn't he the greatest????

Thursday Thirteen #35

Thirteen Things about SUSAN'SWeek 1. I MADE my OWN Thursday Thirteen Banner and Code today!!! It's not perfect, but it's a start. (Sorry for tooting my own horn, but I was excited!) I am hoping that DS 3 will be really proud..since he's usually the person I rely on with html stuff. 2. DS 1 started Hapkito (a martial arts combination of Tae Kwon Do and Jujutsu). I love the definition that I found online: Hapkido teaches you to remain in harmony with the universe, by always encountering attack force with softness, anger with calmness, and stress with understanding. (I'm thinking some of us should learn to do that with our minds!!) 3. Grandma and Grandpa saved the day again as they helped out with the kids while I was at the hospital with my Dad. They are quite a blessing to all of us!! 4. Several people at work have "carried" my responsibilities in my absence. I have the best co-workers and colleagues!!! 5. My car can go 344 miles on a tank of gas. (No, I didn't run out...I just know I was REALLY close!) 6. My DS 4's teacher was named Teachers of the Year at our school this year. I love it when great teachers are recognized. 7. An old friend, who I haven't seen in ages, was listed as Teacher of the Year at her school. I passed the sign and saw her name. It made me smile. 8. #7, along with a conversation with my brother, Dan, and watching Dad go through his hospital stint this week, has made me realize I need to send written notes more often. They're just more special. (I'm sorry if I've neglected that with any of you reading this who know me IRL) 9. One benefit of my drives to the hospital is that I "get" to have a Rt. 44 Diet Coke from Sonic!! I love the crushed ice!!!! 10. DS 2 helped me remember that even when they are older and more mature, they still "need" us to draw lines in the sand sometimes. DS 3 also helped me with this....but he doesn't know it!! 11. DSs 1 and 2 totally impressed me as we waited at the hospital on Monday. Neither of them were there...but they called me several times during the day and checked in with me. (Boys are not always the best at this.) 12. I miss, miss, miss my husband when he is out of town. I am so thankful, though, that he is able to live out his passion and calling each and every day. 13. I have also loved the support I have received from the blogging community this week. Your comments and prayers are VERY special to me..and blessed me beyond what you'll ever know. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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Wednesday Update

DS 4 and I went up to see my Dad tonight. He is doing much better. While we were there, he walked for the second time today. The bandages have been removed and he actually ate something solid tonight. We're moving along.

I appreciate all of you praying for him. I know those prayers DO make a difference.

I have always been keenly aware that the sincerity and attitude of the health care workers could "make or break" your hospital experience. It is becoming even more evident now. These people have been WONDERFUL! They are calm. They are kind. They are consistent. They smile.

If you know someone who works in health care....or you have experienced great health care....say "thank you". It's a small thing...and they deserve MUCH MORE....but a little "thank you" can go a long way.

i

Normal??? What does it mean???

As we sat with Dad today, I really started to ask myself "what's normal?" I mean he has just undergone major surgery. He wants to know (and we do too)...is everything OK. Is he responding like a normal person would. Yet, I am pretty convinced there is NO such thing as "normal" (perhaps especially in this type of situation).

Because we are unique, because we are "wired" differently, and because we bring different sets of aches and pains to the operation, how could we know that every after surgery response is "normal".

So, rather than ask "Is this normal?" I think I'm going to change my thoughts and questions to: "Is this OK?" or "Is it acceptable?"

Dad's recovering well...he's in pain (which is OK)...and he's having trouble finding a comfortable seating position (which is OK)...he's occasionally a bit incoherent (which is also OK).

He's better (less anxious) when we're there. He at least has some support and people that can advocate for his needs. I came home tonight and will go back tomorrow evening to check in on him and everyone else up there. I also realize that almost as important as knowing the patient is OK...is knowing that the family is "OK" too.

I think we are. Everyone's holding their own right now. This is no short road we're on. It's going to require a journey that has only just begun. I think that together we'll be able to make it and we'll be FINE---er I mean OK...and THAT'S normal, right??? ;-)

Hospitals...UGH!

I don't like hospitals. I really never have. I remember when I was a child, our neighbor was critically ill. Mom would go up to the hospital to see her. Incidentally, it was the same hospital where we have been this weekend with Dad (although they have built new parts to it). We would sit in the lobby while our mother would go up to see her. It seemed like HOURS. I don't know if it was or not...it just seemed that way.

Time seems to pass slower there, doesn't it?

Yesterday, Dad's surgery went rather "fast" (four hours). It didn't seem like long before the doc came out and told us all went well. What DID take long was the time between that visit and the time we could go back in and see him (about five hours). At five o'clock, it was painful to say the least to see him. They had not removed his breathing tube, but he was semi-coherent. He was fighting and very uncomfortable. Since family can only go in for 30 minutes at a time (and only four times a day) this made me want to fuss a bit: HOW long will he have to be in this discomfort? WHY do you let him lay in his bed and struggle like this? IS this good for the heart? DOES anyone care?

The nurse came in and started barking (and I do mean barking) in her "nails-on-the-chalkboard" patronizing voice, "Mr. C. you have to be at a 95 and you're too low! All that smoking you've done made your lungs not work so well. I wanted to take you off the monitors two hours ago, but we can't. You've got to settle down." All I could think was "Blah! Blah! Blah!" He was brushing her off with small motions of his hand...I am pretty sure this was his way of saying to us, "Get her the **** out of here!" She left.

We told him, you've got to relax and breathe so that they can take this tube out. We told him firmly but softly. He nodded and we left. When we told him we'd be back at 9:00, he looked at the clock. You could almost see him calculating that in his head. (I know he was medicated, but it was evident that there WAS some thought going on there.)

I called DS 1 (who is trained as an LPN) and DH (who has spent a lot of time in the CCU and asked him if it was right for her to be barking orders at him. I know they need to be firm. He, however, doesn't respond to that well. They both told us to call her out and just let her know. My stepmother, brothers and I did just that. The nurse listened to us and put up a wall in about two seconds (she just kept saying, "OK."

Of course, we wonder what happened until her shift was over.

We returned at 8:00 and another family in the waiting room told us they came out looking for us. Again, I wanted to SCREAM. They have my stepmother's cell phone number....WHY didn't they call??? She called to let them know that we were back in the hospital. The new nurse (Dave, I think) said they had taken the breathing tube out and that he would be out to get us as soon as possible (they were in the middle of something else).

We waited.

The family that was also waiting received a visit from their surgeon who bluntly came into the room and said, "She's going to die tonight." I thought, "Oh my goodness...right here in front of everyone he said that!?!?!" He could have just as easily been saying, "I'm going to Walmart after I leave here." It was cold and matter-of-fact. Unbelievable. He DID soften a bit after the initial shocker and told these people that they could go see their loved one but that she did NOT look good due to reopening her up...etc. etc. etc.

We waited.

At 10:23, we called the nurse again. He said he still could not let us back there. I am thinking, "What about OUR loved one?" This family is going back. They are going in twos. We wouldn't look. We just wanted to say goodnight and let him know that we are here. The nurse told us Dad knew we were there and that he was ready for bed.

Now, I am preparing to go back for the 9:00 visit.

And as I sit here and think about all this...I realize....

I STILL don't like hospitals much.

Personality Profile

I love these things. So, when I went to Mary's site today and saw it...I decided to jump on over and give it a try for myself. Mary should know that since I think we are long lost sisters, I didn't read hers before I did mine so I could honestly compare. I'm off to do that now. I have to say I just read mine to my brother and he says some of these things just do not apply to me...I'll let those of you who know me IRL decide which ones those are....It's fun anyway..

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test