My First Thursday Thirteen

As I have been lurking and following links in the blogging world, I discovered this little gem. I am going to try and do this every Thursday. Maybe some of you would like to join me.

Thirteen Things about MY WEEK 1. I watched two evenings of American Idol auditons. 2. I was supposed to be in California...but got grounded in Florida. 3. I discovered SEVERAL new blogs that I am going to peek in on. 4. I attended the first class for my last class in the Reading Endorsement (did that make sense?). 5. I vacuumed my car (finally) with ds 4's help. 6. Our desktop computer got infected with a spyware virus. 7. I sauteed spinach for the first time in my life---and ate it. 8. I didn't get my Bible reading in like I wanted in days one through three...so I will make it a point to do it on days four through seven. 9. I got a new dryer---see Wednesday's blog. 10. I planned for a workshop that I am doing in a week. (This is actually a bit early for me.) 11. I planned a weekend away with the "girls" to scrapbook---YEP---THREE days to only focus on getting much done! 12. I planned my trip to Chicago in May for the International Reading Association conference. 13. I am already trying to decide what my NEXT "Thursday Thirteen" subject will be!!!!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Laundry Blues

Our family of six generates a lot of laundry! Piles. Mounds. Sometimes I think the boys put things in their baskets after they just try it on to see if it's "right". And in that regard, they may be worse than girls their ages! Luckily, I have a house assistant who helps us out with this task each week...I know, it's an "extra" that is a total blessing for our busy schedules. We lovingly call her our "Alice". Imagine "Alice's" reaction when she realized this week that the dryer was broken...

She called me frantic on Monday and said, "You better get someone out there quick...the laundry is going to pile up and take over."

I finally called on Tuesday only to be told they could come "next Wednesday"...EIGHT days away!! They obviously don't get it. And the piles grew.

Dh called Sears this morning and found out they could come this afternoon. They came only to inform us that the dryer is broken and while it could be repaired, it would cost about the same as getting a new dryer. The "duh" factor came into play and that WONDERFUL MAN I am married to...rushed down to Sears to get a new dryer. HE gets it!!

He selected a nice new dryer with some great features for our busy family. Sears agreed to deliver it NEXT week. They didn't get it.

But, my wonderful dh and his wonderful father drove to Sears tonight...picked up the dryer and are now assembling it in my kitchen in preparation to be moved into its new home. They're bonding and my laundry piles are waiting.

The laundry blues will soon be over...the dryer will be well broken-in before the morning comes....everyone is waiting on their laundry to be done...and Alice will be thrilled that she can bring order out of our laundry chaos.

I am pretty sure all will be right in the world by morning thanks to the man that understands just how important time is when you are talking laundry...six people...and boys! Gotta go check those piles. Now, whose pile to tackle FIRST????

A GREAT Day...

A Great Day...

I love the old bumper sticker that says: "Won't it be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber?"

Our county is in the middle of a campaign for a new tax referendum. This tax basically would ask home owners to give about $1.00/day (on average) to the school system. The school system in turn plans to use the funds to maintain teacher salaries, continue special programs, and generally "beef up" the school system a bit more in the areas of technology and educational opportunities.

Some teachers are upset about it. You see, also tied to this tax is the requirement that teachers (especially secondary teachers) will make some shifts in their instructional delivery. It means that teachers are going to be held accountable for teaching students using best practices.

Is that a bad thing?

One of the things that has bugged me since the day I became a certified teacher is that there are pockets of mediocrity out there. And worse, there are some people who simply should NOT be in a classroom. And we protect them. These are people who have no passion...they are simply marking time waiting to retire. Working under the radar. We allow it to happen and we allow them to be influences on new children year after year.

I wish there were also a bumper sticker that said: "Won't it be a GREAT day when every child is taught by a passionate teacher who believes his or her students have the potential to make a difference in our world?"

I hope the tax passes. But more than that, I hope that I see the day when passion and excitement for teaching and learning is alive and well in EVERY classroom everywhere. Kids are worth it!!

The Flight that Wasn't

OK...here I am writing my next blog entry from sunny Florida...when I am supposed to be on a plane headed to California!! I went to the airport and was informed that flights were delayed in Atlanta. No problem, right? WRONG! I could get to Atlanta almost two hours late then "maybe" get on a flight to California at 9:00pm tonight....and land in California around 2:00am "my time"??? NO WAY! I couldn't even be guaranteed that this could happen.

I hate the unknown. I simply didn't want to get on a flight and "hope" that I might get to California before I had to present...and I know I wouldn't have been "on" for my early morning presentation.

So here I am. It's not the best for the company. It's not the best for me. It IS what happened though. Sometimes outside circumstances dictate what happens. Sometimes it's a combination.

So, here I am...in sunny Florida...wondering what lesson I am supposed to take out of this one!!

He KNOWS my NAME!

Tonight I was at a praise service where we sang this praise song:
"I have a maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hands
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call"
Those words "HE KNOWS MY NAME" are still ringing in my ears.

I recall being a young teen and getting all "giddy" when boy "knew my name"! It was that all-over feeling that "I matter" that came over me during those years when somebody knew my name. I am sure that many of us have similar stories to share.

Now, here I am, at 41 rejoicing that the Father of All KNOWS MY NAME! I've known this for a long time. And yet, it makes me a bit giddy. It is a joyful thing. Tonight I was just overwhelmed by the thought of just how awesome that truly is....HE KNOWS MY NAME. May each person who visits here find joy in the fact that "HE KNOWS YOUR NAME" too!!

Working it Out

As I hinted earlier this week, I don't like to fly. I am going to California on Sunday for a teacher conference. I will return to Florida on Tuesday. In my head, I have been trying to work out my fear and anxiety all week long. I even blogged about it a bit. Here's what I have concluded:

• I have always had a little trouble with the "unknown". I don't like surprises and I don't like not being in control. This certainly contributes to this fear. I know in my head that I "never" am in control...there are always external things that contribute to every move I make.
• I get this "you're going to die" feeling sometimes when I am about to fly. Lately this has been fueled by the fact that EVERYTIME I turn on the radio, I hear a song by Superchick called "We Live". (And of course, the voice in my head tells me "this message is for you...but today the voice said, "Maybe this is just the hottest song the Christian radio station is playing now.")
• Here is an excerpt:

There's a cross on the side of the road

Where a mother lost a son How could she know that the morning he left Would be their last time she'd trade with him
for a little more time So she could say she loved him one last time And hold him tight But with life we never know When we're coming up to the end of the road So what do we do then With tragedy around the bend? Chorus:We live we love We forgive and never give up Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above Today we remember to live and to love There is a man who waits for the tests To see if the cancer has spread yet And now he asks,
"So why did I wait to live till it was time to die?" If I could have the time back how I'd live Life is such a gift So how does the story end? Well this is your story and it all depends So don't let it become true Get out and do what we are meant to do

• I realized this afternoon that I have been focused on the "wrong part" of this message. It's not that tragedy could come my way(that's true for all of us all the time)....it' s that we need to "Get out and do what we are meant to do." We need to live, and love, forgive, and never give up.
• The truth is: We will all die sometime. It's not right for me to not live in the moment and do all I can to further the kingdom while I am here. Being in fear impedes that important job that we all have as Christians.
• Fear CAN grip us to paralysis. I think it has done so to me before.
• My word for this year is PROMISE. God promises that he can cast out fear and doubt. He does not want any one of us to be gripped by anything but love.

On my way to California, I plan to rest in Him. I plan to continue to praise Him that He can "cast out all fear". I plan to soar on Delta's wings AND Eagle's wings!! That's a PROMISE!!

The $16,000 Boy!

Yesterday I was out of school with my principal and other instructional support personnel for a meeting. Today when we returned to school, we found out what the Assistant Principal did while we were gone.

It seems that a 5th grader took $16,000 in cash from his home and has had it in his backpack. As if that is not bad enough...he has been giving it out to kids in the 5th grade $100 at a time! Apparently, by the time they figured out this was going on (thanks to the phone call of a conscientious parent who wanted to know WHY her son brought home a hundred dollar bill from school) there was $11,000 in the backpack. The AP (aka our "detective") was able to recoup $4000 as she started asking kids to "cough up" what they had been given. One child had been given $3300 over the past three days.

This family is not wealthy. They are immigrants---maybe even illegal. They are saving their money for something and their son got ahold of it. They are obviously angry and disappointed with their son's actions.

I can't even imagine what I would say to my son!

I believe this boy is kind of an "outcast" and not considered "in" by the kids. Kids are sometimes viscious (especially at the ages of 10 - 14). They harass each other. They call each other names. They bully. The kids who are victims will often go to great lengths to have the labels erased from their identitiy. I have to wonder if this was true in this case. Is it possible that this boy wanted to be "liked" so much that he would do "anything" to make it so? I hope not but I suspect it's true. He wanted to be important. He wanted to have "status" where he felt he had none. I am not saying that he should not have some severe consequences for his actions...but there MUST be something that precipitated it.

Again, I am reminded that we (as adults) must help our kids recognize who they are...and help them to see their potential. Our jobs are important. We also need to help them realize that they ARE somebody regardless of what the "world" says about them. Peer pressure is great...but mentoring pressure and "love" pressure CAN be greater.

It's a valuable lesson---in my opinion, it's worth FAR MORE than $16,000!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

Do you remember that hymn: His Eye is On the Sparrow?

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart belonely,
And long for heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion,
My constant Friend is He;
His eye is on the sparrow,And I know He watches me.

Chorus:I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free;
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

2. "Let not your heart be troubled,
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears,
Tho' by the path He leadeth,
But one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow,And I know He
watches me.

Yet another hymn that reminds me of beautiful scripture. I hate flying...and I have to do it on Sunday. I experience panic attacks sometimes and usually at the very least anxiety for at least the first twenty minutes I am in the air. (I will reread my entry regarding "panic or prayer" before I leave this time.) I don't hate flying enough not to do it...but it is not fun for me regardless. And yet, as I think about the promises that I am given....God has numbered the hairs on our heads...since I just got a haircut tonight, I can really relate to just how awesome this is. He knows each strand of hair and He cares for the little sparrow...and He cares for us MORE....so, why would I feel anxious about anything?

Luke 12:6-8 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 8"I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.

Now, that's a PROMISE for which I am grateful! Blessings, everyone and know that He is watching you too!

Promise...contemplation

I woke up this morning contemplating the word that I was given yesterday: PROMISE. The old hymn, "Standing on the Promises" keeps coming to my mind. I read it today and really narrowed it down to these favorite verses from this great song:

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises I now can see
Perfect, present cleansing in the blood for me;
Standing in the liberty where Christ makes free,
Standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.


And you know, another thought came to my mind: We CANNOT sing "Standing on the Promises" if we aren't mindful of what they are. Oh they are in my heart and mind somewhere. But, how often I let my focus drift from the promises I know to the insecurity of the unknown! So many times I try to do things alone (OK...I know it's the control freak in me!) and I miss the peace and direction that God's promises bring. So today I have had a little talk with myself and said, "If you're going to stand on the promises...you've got to KNOW them in your heart and mind and plant your feet squarely upon them." Because as the songwriter reminds us these are the promises that cannot fail...they are the ones that cleanse us...set us free...keep us from falling and give us rest.

I'm standing on the promises of God!

In a Word...

My sil Heather posted this information on her blog this morning:

My friend Amy's website (www.amywallace.com) with links to her blog, is one of my favorite retreats on the web. She's an amazing writer, and an even more amazingly faithful and real child of God.

Her post (inspired by her mentor's post) about finding a word for the year (instead of a resolution) inspired me.

Well, Heather's blog in turn inspired me. Heather chose BALANCE as her word (or rather that is the word that God showed her). I thought, "Yeah, I could SURE use that word!" Then I said, "No, Lord, I want my own word...so I'll wait."

I went out to the store this morning to get the last minute things for ds 4's birthday today and there in the sky that didn't look like it would have one was a rainbow. Immediately, I said, "Thank you, Lord for that pretty rainbow." Then I realized....Heeeere's your sign, Susan...your word: PROMISE!

Not the empty "I PROMISE I'll feed the dog" type of promise...but the real covenant PROMISE that can only come from our Heavenly Father.

Thank you, Heather...and thank you Lord!

HOW does this happen????

Just before Christmas we had an Open House for our friends and family. My house was clean and picked up. Of course, by Christmas, it looked a bit different because there is NO WAY to have a "neat and tidy" Christmas with four boys and the busy-ness that defines our family.

Just after Christmas, I decided that I would work on those scrapbooks that have been much neglected in my closet. I decided to use my dining room table to do it so that I could spread out. My goal: To finish my scrapbook for 2003 (YES, I am that far behind)by January 1st, 2006. I did really well...I started in Dec. 2003 and got back to May 2003 within a few days. Then the busyness hit again and like so many times before "the best laid plans" went astray. I left it all out on the table "just in case" I had a minute to sit down and crop.

So there it has been for now 2 and 1/2 weeks...the "cropping mound" on my dining room table.

Tomorrow is ds 4's birthday party. We are doing it at the bowling alley...but my family and a few of his friends are coming over here after the party. Of course, that means that my cropping mound has to be put away so as not to create an eyesore for all who visit here tomorrow.

I started putting it away (and doing a bit of organizing of paper and stickers) around 9:00. Do you see the timestamp on this blog? It's NOT done yet. It's almost done...I just needed a break.

So here I am wondering just HOW this happens. How is it that something that was so neat and tidy one week can be SO messed up the next?

The truth be told, I think life is like that. We tidy up...get on our best behavior and exhibit the best habits one day then suddenly it all goes down hill and we find ourselves in a pile of junk.

HOW does it happen? The same way my scrapbook goes unfinished: we lose our focus. If I would have stuck with my plan it would be done now and in an album for all to see. But it's not. I've got to go finish tidying up my table and plan just how I'll get 2003 finished. I am also going to contemplate just what it is that I need to tidy up on the inside. Then I am going to pray for focus and ask God to help me get rid of the "stuff" that sometimes gets in the way of me being "complete". The thing is, I KNOW He'll finish the job! ;-)

Son 3 (Temporarily) Flies from the Nest!

Today, ds 3 went to Ohio for a long weekend. He has said for years, "You're going to send me to Ohio to visit my cousins during the winter, right?" He has longed to get up there when it snows and see what it's really like. This year, we decided to do it.

He left today and flew to Ohio. He will go to W. VA with my cousin, Lynn's husband and son. They will spend the weekend skiing and enjoying the Winter (if that's possible). ;-)

Letting him go was hard. I was kind of a wreck until I knew that he was safely deposited on the other end. It's hard having one person "gone". DH is away this week, so our nest already feels weird...but now it's even emptier. Nonetheless, I am happy for them to have the experiences that they have away from this place. It's important that they get to explore the world around them.

DS 3 often gets "stuck in the middle" around here...he's not quite old enough to hang out with his bigger brothers...and not small enough to enjoy the company of ds 4. His cousin is very close to the same age and they get along as if they are never apart each visit they have.

My hope for this weekend anyway...hopefully he feels like he is independent and able to get out on his own....but, hopefully he also feels that gentle pull "back" to the nest as he is apart from us, too. It's a delicate balance.

As the mother and only female in this home...I think it's too empty when even ONE person is gone! And now that there are TWO gone.... I realize that I don't know if that is something I'll get used to too easily.

Have a GREAT weekend, son!!

Panic or Prayer?

I am single this week. My dh is out of town and life at my house is CRAZY! Son 3 is leaving tomorrow for Ohio to go skiing with his cousins. He has been struggling with a cough (asthma-type) for a week now. We took him to the doctor last week....but I needed to take him again this morning just to make sure we were at right dosages and such for his trip.

I went to the doctor (hooray for early morning walk-in hours)...and dss 3 and 4 were with me. DS 3 was picked up by my dear friend to go back to his school after the visit (call it a Starbucks bribe!). DS 4 and I headed to our school...but knew we'd be about 15 minutes late. No problem.

On the way to our school, I remembered that ds 4 needed a lunch check, so wrote it at a red light. He took it and all was calm once again.

About one hour into the school day, ds 4 comes to find me to tell me that he can't find the check. Panic started to set in...but I suggested that he go look in all the places where it might be. We did not find it. I went out to the parking lot and searched the car and ground. Nothing.

Two hours later, I am still looking and quite frankly panicking!! I stopped, whispered a prayer and said, "Lord, let whoever finds that check be honest and turn it in. I need peace." About that time, my df Debra came into the Media Center and said, "Did you find your $100 check?" I said "no". Then I said, "How did you know?" She replied, "Someone found it and turned it into the front office."

My prayer was answered within seconds!!! I realize that things like this happen all the time...and I have a choice: Panic or Prayer? I hope next time I make the right choice sooner.

Worth the Time...

OK...I hope I am not too late posting this link
for Country Boys. This is a documentary on pbs described as follows:

For everyone who remembers what it was like to be young -- when the whole world seemed to stretch out before you while you were stuck in your own backyard -- this special FRONTLINE series tells the story of Chris and Cody: two boys growing up in a hard land, determined to beat the odds against them, and struggling with
who they are -- and who they can become.

I watched the first part last night...it is six hours total. The producer and his crew followed these boys for three years during their teens. They are struggling to survive poverty and other hard circumstances in a small rural Kentucky town.

It was AMAZING! The boys watched it with me and I must say that they, too, were struck with how hard these boys' lives are and just how easy they have it.

They do a tremendous job showing one boy struggling with his faith.

These are not your clean cut white middle-class American boys. These are boys who were born into rough lives. It's real. It's powerful. It has a lesson for all of us about the importance that we can play in the lives of others.

It is a gentle reminder of what life could be and what it is. It is also a reality check for us as we consider ways to reach out into our communities to make a difference in the life of a young person.

OUCH...Another Message from "The Message"

OK...I have to share my reading from last night:

Psalm 15

GOD, who gets invited
to dinner at your place?
How do we get on your guest list?

"Walk straight,
act right,
tell the truth.

"Don't hurt your friend,
don't blame your neighbor,
despise the despicable.

"Keep your word even when it costs you,
make an honest living,
never take a bribe.

"You'll never get blacklisted
if you live like this."

All I can say is WOW...those are words to live by!!

The Oh's

I am just back from the big "gig" and thought I'd share some of the pics.
Here they are playing tonight.


This is the photo that they used on the flier that they passed around announcing the "big event".


And there was even a tip jar that was receiving REAL tips!


And I couldn't resist passing along the marquee sign.



They did a great job and had a nice crowd. I am sure that their first priority will be to learn new music so that they can fill that much time. The crowd enjoyed it and they did too! (And I can still hear! ;-)

Here we are! Just thought I'd share our photo with all of you who have been wondering what my delightful family looks like!!

We're STILL Rockin' and Rollin' Here

Things are still rocking and rolling in my house. It started at 10:30 this morning and now it's 2:00. We are T -4 hours 30 minutes and counting. It's interesting hearing the "planning" and "non-planning" that is going on. Some of the boys think they should play straight through the "set" they will use tonight...others think they need to stop and discuss between each song. Some think they should tenatively plan who will talk and what they will say...others think they should "wing it".

Here I sit on the computer because I can't hear the TV and I literally am catching my knick-knacks before they fall off their shelves---actually I just missed one as it "shook to the edge" before I saw it----I TOLD YOU my house was SHAKING!!

I DO love music....I DO love music....I DO, I DO!

On another note, I went by the coffee shop in an effort to escape for a bit this morning. They are on the marquee! It IS exciting for them and I can't help being a bit enthusiastic about their zeal and determination.

I'll try and post photos and report more later.

More Tales from the Frontlines

I can't remember if I blogged about this at all earlier and don't really want to check my archives right now...so since it's my blog and I'll write if I want to...here goes:

DSs 1 and 2 are part of a neighborhood band. DS 1 plays bass guitar. DS 2 plays drums. Two neighbor brothers play electric guitar and rhythm. And one other neighbor does vocals. They are pretty good. It has not been uncommon for me to come home and find them all stuffed into DS 2's room playing (and I DO mean STUFFED because it isn't that big a room).

Just before Christmas, I got new family room furniture. The old stuff is in my garage waiting for the church to pick up for the thrift store. About two weeks ago, I came home to find all of my old furniture strewn in my driveway with teenagers sitting and laying all over it while the band blared their music from my garage! We did NOT look like we lived in a community of hard working professionals...but instead looked like we belonged somewhere on the "other side of the tracks". This is NOT good when you have deed restrictions...but the kids assured me that the neighbors "loved it".

Well, they held off practicing like that until three days ago when I again came home to see the furniture out and the garage WIDE open and the music LOUD. Several seniors were walking their dogs by and shaking their heads in what may have been disgust. No one has said anything to this point...except me. I explained to all the boys that I love them and I love their music...but that doesn't mean that everyone shares my approval or opinion.

Yeah, it's pretty much "What will the neighbors think?" And in our neighborhood, that matters.

That night, they played at open mike night at our local coffee shop. They called at the end of the evening elated because they have been asked to play a "gig" at the shop on Saturday night (for 2 and a half hours)! I am THRILLED for them and told them so. Then they told me just how much practice they would need between now and then. You see, as of three days ago, they only really had four songs down---and they would have to learn new ones. So, I told them I'd rather them "push the furniture in our living room back and practice inside than force the neighbors to listen to an uninvited concert."

When I came home today there was no furniture in the driveway. For that matter, right now, there's not much in my living room either. It's all pushed back and tucked into other rooms. The boys have acquired some new speakers and all five of them AND my DH are in the living room getting ready. (It's kind of testosterone heaven.)

Here I sit behind my CLOSED bedroom door (which is really not making a difference) while they follow my suggestion...My house is SHAKING! And you know what, I'm OK with that. They are at home. They are doing what they love. They are happy. They are learning the value of hard work.

Can the neighbors hear? Oh, probably...but right now, I don't care! I am reminded of a quote dh told me years ago when we realized that our tastes in music might be changing: "If it's too loud, you're too old."

When all's silent in a few years and they are out on their own...I KNOW I am going to long for the shaking windows....keep playing, guys...keep playing!

God hasn't moved

During my devotion time, I am reading the Psalms from The Message version of the Bible. Here is an interesting one that I read the other night:

Psalm 11

But God hasn't moved to the mountains;
his holy address hasn't changed.
He's in charge, as always, his eyes
taking everything in, his eyelids
Unblinking, examining Adam's unruly brood
inside and out, not missing a thing.
He testst he good and the bad alike;
if anyone cheats, God's outraged.
Fail the test and you're out,
out in a hail of firestones,
Drinking from a canteen
filled with hot desert wind.

God's business is putting things right;
he loves getting the lines straight,
Setting us straight. Once we're standing tall,
we can look him straight in the eye.

I love this version of these verses! God has not taken up a new residence. He did not move. Furthermore, He wants to put things right in our lives.

I love the last verse, once we're standing tall...we can look him straight in the eyes. And what will we see when we do that? PURE UNDYING LOVE! It's a beautiful thought...and one worth really digesting.

Just where is the safest place in the world?

Today ds 4 and I were driving home and I had to go to the bathroom (one of the joys of 40+ yr old bladders--but that's a blog for another day).

We stopped at Wendy's with the promise of a Frosty for DS 4. He said, "I'll just go get in line while you go to the bathroom." I replied, "No, because that Wendy's is not the safest place in the world." He was quiet for a minute then said, "Mom, just where is the safest place in the world?" I was stumped. I admitted that I did not know.

Then he said, "I'll bet it's heaven."

I didn't want to go into the fact that heaven is really not in this world...so I replied:

"I think that's a pretty good bet!"

Birthday and/or BUST!!

DS 4 is going to turn 7 on the 17th. I know some of you might think this is a crazy deal...but I started it when the older boys were younger and it has stuck. I offer the kids the option of having a party with friends OR $100 in cash. The older three usually take me up on the money (and have since they were little). Now, son 4 is of the age where I offer the "deal".

He is kind of social and I don't really ever expect him to take me up on this offer.

Last night, he decided that he wants to go bowling for his birthday. I've done this before. It's pretty easy. You pay the bowling alley money per bowler. They give them drinks a slice of pizza and two hours of bowling. Low stress, right?

Today we went to make arrangements. In the midst of me laying down my credit card for the down payment...ds announces that he is "not sure that he wants to do it at the bowling alley." I still haven't figured out why but "it depended on the time they could do it." I explain life and deposits and the fact that I have invested time and energy to get over there to solidify the plans. I sign my credit card slip and we leave.

In the car I learn that his friends talked to him today about his party and asked him why he didn't think about Chuck E. Cheeses. I explain that it's too late and he proceeds to cry. As far as he is concerned his birthday is BUSTED.

I wrestle for a moment between standing my ground and going with the plan vs. giving in and asking the man at the bowling alley to give me my money back. It's at these moments when you (as a parent) envision your child laying on someone's couch someday talking about the dysfunction.

I have decided to go with the bowling party. I think he'll get over it. It's a better deal cost-wise...unless I have to contribute to future counseling!! ;-)

A New Year's Reflection...

I saw this on a few other blogs today and I thought it was a good idea. I decided that it would be a good idea to try and see if I can actually remember the last 12 months!

1. What did you do in 2005 that you had never done before?
Took a sleep study....now THERE'S an exciting thing to record!

2.Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
If I don't remember them, then I guess that I cannot say with confidence that I kept them. I am really not into the whole "resolution" thing...as evidenced in my blogs from the past few days.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Both Sisters-in-law gave birth to two beautiful nephews: one in February...one in December. A dear friend's daughter gave birth to a little boy in November.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Countries? That would mean that I would have to get on a plane and go over water, right??? NOT going to happen.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
The ability to recognize those times that I need to slow down and enjoy life, friends, and family day to day.

7. What dates will remain etched in your memory and why?
From this year? I can't think of any...

8. What's your biggest achievement of the year?
I earned National Board Certification---a VERY LOONNGGG process!!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I had great ambition to reorganize my closets...and didn't do it. There's always 2006!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope.

11.What was the best thing you bought?
New sofas for the family room and the big screen TV.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
DS 1 made it through the LPN program in high school...this is an incredible accomplishment for a young man.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted?
The kids in our area (two different families) who killed their own parents---unbelievable!!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Savings, house, cars, charity, kids, among other things (and not necessarily in that order).

15. What did you get really really excited about?
Finishing another book...it's like giving birth

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"The Time of Your Life" (Greenday)

17. Compared to this time last year are you?
a)happier or sadder? happier
b)fatter or thinner? same
c)richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you had done more of?
Scrapbooking, simply hanging out with kids, travel

19. What do you wish you had done less of?
working and worrying

20. How will (did) you be spending (spend) New Year's Eve?
Scrapbooking and relaxing at home with dh and 2/4 sons.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes, all over again, with my wonderful dh!!

22. What was your favorite TV program?
American Idol/The Amazing Race

23. What was the most fun you had this year?*
I loved going to Ohio to surprise my Grandmother for her 85th birthday!

(*Note: I changed this question from something about hating someone else...since I didn't even think that question was worth contemplating!)

24. What was the best book you read?
Abram's Daughters Series (all five of them) by Beverly Lewis

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Michael Buble' and Natalie Grant's CD

26. What did you want and get?
New furniture and a house

27. What did you not want and not get?
SICK

28. What was your favorite film this year?
Chronicles of Narnia

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Buried the dog..Ate out....41

30. What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
I really can't think of anything...it was a good year and I am satisfied.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion in 2005?
Same old, same old

32. What kept you sane?
DH and my small group

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
"Fancy"???? HUH????

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I think I was stirred when Katrina hit and I watched the two political parties blaming each other for the way it was (or was not being handled)...a little less bickering a little more focus on the people and the real issues would have been nice.

35. Who did you miss?
My Grandfather---not a day goes by that I don't think about him

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Ava

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005.
I am continually reminded of this scripture:

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"He sees you - He knows you - He loves you
And He wants you to know that

The life that you've been living, the days that you've been given
Were made for something beautiful
Life - don't let it pass you by
Because you were created for something beautiful" (Something Beautiful by Natalie Grant)


I'm going to tag anyone who is reading this...come on...it's good to reflect!! Try it...you'll like it!!

Spice Gets In My Eyes

My boys are "into" Iron Chef contests. They have these contests regularly with the neighbors in my house. They pick food and then make it together. I think it's because they like our extensive spice cabinet. Tonight, they are having a contest. I think there are two pans involved as there are two "chefs" cooking. Whatever they are cooking is so spicy that my eyes are watering and I am not even in the kitchen!

With tears in my eyes, I tell myself: "At least they are in OUR kitchen...they are not out creating havoc anywhere (except maybe on my counters)....and they are having fun...." What more could I ask?

Current report from the kitchen: "That's GOOD!"

I'll just keep sitting here with watery eyes and remember that one day I'll look back and reminisce about the stuff they used to do in our kitchen! Then my eyes will water for a different reason!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Here I sit on New Year's Eve updating my blog....We are celebrating quietly this year. Dh is going out in a little bit to get us Outback Carry Out. We'll have steak, watch football games, and just enjoy a quiet evening here at home. Actually, I am planning to catch up on some much needed "crop time".

Two of the boys are going out. DS 1 and his girlfriend are going to a concert nearby and will be back just after midnight. DS 2 is going to his girlfriend's house for a party and will join us at church tomorrow. DS 3 is playing a computer game online. DS 4 is just playing...

It's quiet...and I'm glad. I think I like going quietly into a new year.

I wish you all a wonderful New Year's Eve and Peaceful 2006!

You Can Do This Too!

OK here is another nature photo that I took earlier this year. This lizard was shedding its skin on a bush outside my Dad's house. I couldn't resist the urge to photograph it.

I am reminded when I see it, though, that we can do that too. We can take off the old and put on the new. It's scriptural. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

This is especially appropriate as we head into the New Year. It's that time of year when we make empty promises in the form of resolutions. It's that time of year when we learn that most of us don't have what it takes to keep a resolution.

And yet, God (who always keeps His promises) made a promise to us long before the ball was falling in Times Square. It's time to shed the old and put on the new.

May 2006 bring each of us HOPE and NEWNESS of life!

Isn't this cool?

The boys took this photo when we were in Ohio this fall. I just thought it was so neat.

Just Wait...

I was struck emotionally at the tragic loss of Tony Dungy's son, James. In one article recounting the funeral message Tony shared some of his daughter's comments about their loss: "My daughter Tiara said it best the other day. She said: `I just wish he could have made it until he was 20. Because when you're 17 or 18, sometimes the things you guys say to us don't always make sense. ... When I got to 20, they started making sense again."' This is such a wise statement.

I was reminded just how many times I tell my teenagers, "Believe it or not, your parents do NOT sit around at night and think 'how can we make their lives miserable.'" Parents, in general, try and do the best they can with the information they have. We truly DO make decisions and suggestions based on trying to guide our children on the best path. We also try and help them avoid the same mistakes that we made. It's easy to see on this side of it.

Coach Dungy noted: "As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said.

My dh often says that while he was in college his parents went to "smart school".

I remember being 17 and 18 and being in the conflict of having a foot in my childhood and trying to open the door to my adult life. That is where my two oldest are right now---at the threshold of their adult lives. I continue to pray that we will be able to help them enter it with grace and dignity. So far, it's going pretty well.

Rest assured boys, we DO have your best interest at heart.

Welcome Nephew!

My third nephew was born yesterday! He joins his two sisters C-almost 4, and K-2. They LOVED their new little brother. He is absolutely adorable...but then I think that about all of our nieces and nephews.

As I was holding him last night, my Dad, my Brother and I were reflecting just how much he looks like my Grandfather. He definitely has features of that side of the family. It was kind of amazing.

I thought though...we DO pass so much along in our families. We pass genes down from generation to generation. We also pass down our personalities, our stories, and pieces of our lives. It IS our job to leave a legacy in the lives of those who come behind us.

I pray that God would continue to help me stop and think about the young people in my life. May He help me pass along those things that I want to continue. And may He also help me stop the stuff that needs to stop and not be perpetuated.

May each little child remind us that we are sowing into their lives. And they will reap what we sow. Let's sow well!

Welcome, little Z! You are a blessing!!

And Speaking of Time....

Ds 4 met a new friend last week. We'll call him "K". K is quite outspoken and articulate. He doesn't hesitate to tell you exactly what he wants and when he wants it...but in a very polite way. They are the same age. K just moved from Chicago and France with his family. The boys hit it off right away.

Today, K and DS 4 are on a marathon play day (after all they have been two whole days without seeing each other due to Christmas activities). They have been back and forth between our two houses all day long. They have played hard and had fun. About 4:15 they came back home and DS 4 got in trouble for something and had to do some work and a timeout before proceeding his play. K cried. In fact, I think he was more heartbroken that ds 4! K did not want DS 4 to have to stay inside. He wanted him to be able to continue whatever it was they were doing. DH talked to K and explained that DS 4 had to do this and that he would be able to come back out at 5:00.

About 4:25 I was surprised to see K just walk in the front door just like he lived here! He said, "Is it 5:00 yet?" Then he told me he would "just wait outside". Knowing how six year olds work, I know that 30 minutes can seem like a lifetime. I wondered for a minute how he would pass the time. I showed him on his new watch how long it was going to be and sent him back outside.

At 4:45 he knocked on my door because there was a "five" in the time. I explained once more that it had to be "5-0-0". And he returned to our sidewalk to wait. At 5:00 sharp...he knocked on the door and said, "I kept the numbers on the sidewalk come see!" He did not let up until dh went out there to see what he had done.

In HUGE chalk numbers starting at the bottom of our sidewalk and leading right up to our front door, we saw:

4:51

4:52

4:53

4:54

4:55

4:56

4:57

4:58

4:59

You have to admire that determination and stamina, don't you? K and DS are outside playing once again and I think all is right in the world...at least in their world.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

As we are in the final frenzied hours before Christmas Morning, I had to make a run to Walmart. Upon my arrival home, the boys and my dh were having a conversation. They wanted to "do Christmas" this afternoon. Well almost everyone. DS 3 was adament that you cannot "do Christmas" unless it is the 25th.

His argument, "Do you dress up for Halloween on the 30th?" To which DS 2 replied, "You might." He was obviously passionate about this plan. DSs 1 and 2 did NOT agree and the discussion escalated a bit.

Of course, I know that you can "do Christmas" anytime you want and it would be the joy, the giving, the being together that makes it Christmas...not the fact that it is the 25th of December. But, you know what? I agreed with son 3, I didn't want to do it today either. I love waking up on Christmas morning with the anticipation. I think somehow on the 25th, I am still a kid. I love it. I love all of it.

The result of our discussion? DS 3 won. We will open gifts early tomorrow morning before we go to Church. We will give dh the remainder of this presents tomorrow morning...we went ahead and did some this afternoon.

Whenever you celebrate...I hope that this Christmas is as magical for you as it might be for DS 3 and for me.

Holiday Peace?

Today I went to the mall again. I went to pick up the last couple of things that I needed to finish gifts so that I could come home, sit in the pile, and wrap!

It was relatively calm there. There were the usual last minute shoppers trying to find the perfect gift. I noticed Dads with their sons out shopping for Mom's and other girls in their lives. Perhaps the funniest was the man in Bath and Body Works who noted that you could buy a gift and you didn't even have to wrap it because they have such pretty gift sets! The teenage boys behind him were wide-eyed as they learned how to "shop like a man" (sorry for any of you who are great shoppers).

Most disconcerting though were the number of people I watched bickering. Blood pressure obviously up...I saw grown Daughters yelling at Mothers. Grown sisters at odds over what gift to buy for Mom. Sons and Mothers who differed as to who had spent more money on a gift so far. I heard one Mother explode at her teenager and say, "If you don't get me out of here righ this instance, I am going to lose it!" I thought: "Toooooo Late!!!"

It was sad. These same people are going to sit together most likely on Sunday and share gifts. They are going to try and be cheerful about a holiday that obviously was causing them much stress.

Yet, didn't the angels proclaim "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men" at the birth of Christ. Peace. Goodwill to all. I pray that it happens in each of our lives in a powerful way that sends the message that we serve the "Prince of PEACE"! Maybe, just maybe, it will make the difference in the eyes of someone who is watching.

Peace.

Power Shopping!

Every year we do it. We brave the mall during this, the last week before Christmas. The boys really seem to enjoy it. Usually, the group includes my extended family and us. Occasionally, though, it has just been the boys and me. Today was the latter.

The boys and I left for the mall around 1:00. We divide and conquer. I am pretty much done with shopping...so today was my day to help them.

Round 1: Ds's 1 and 2 go off alone to do whatever teenage guys do when they shop. Ds 3 decided HE (at 11) is quite OK going out on his own. (So I gave him my cell phone with strict orders to call dss 1 and 2 if he needed anything.) DS 4 and I went shopping...for the brothers and his Dad. I am not sure how I drew the short straw in this round, but I did. (I say that with love, really I do.) It's just that ds 4 wants to stop and look at all the other 6 yr. old distractions that are in the mall. He actually tried to convince me that he needed to just take the money that he had budgeted for today and put it in his bank...then everything would be OK. One hour later, round 1 ended.

Round 2: DS 2 takes DSs 3 and 4 to shop for Mom and Dad while DS 1 and I go and find a gift for his girlfriend. This is no picnic either! He is conflicted because she has put parameters on the gift. She wants "no jewelry"..."no cheesy stuffed animal" and yet wants him to find something meaningful. DS 1 tells me, "Her favorite color is yellow..." NOW THERE'S a lot to shop on! During this round, I realize just how FEW YELLOW meaningful gifts are in the mall! We found something though and Round 2 ended.

Round 3: DS 1 and I get caught in the food court getting a bite to eat by all other DSs. They join us and DS 1 and 3 go off together. DS 4 now needs to shop for me and so DS 2 helps. I WIN this round as I get a few minutes of quiet time to browse a few stores in the mall. DSs 1 and 3 are done in record time...but I still win because the oldest drives and they call me and tell me they are heading home. During my quiet browsing...another call comes in. It's DS 2 who calls and says, "Mom, can you talk to DB 4 and tell him that you DON'T want a football for Christmas!" So, I am in the clothing store talking loud because of a bad signal saying, "NO son, I DON'T want a Buccaneer football for Christmas!" It took a bit of convincing...but I think it worked. I did notice a few snickers from the people around me, though.

Round 4: DSs 2 and 4 and I are done and we make our way to the mall exit. On the way, DS 4 announces, "Mom, DB2 wouldn't let me get you a Gator football blanket." No offense to you Gator fans, but I don't even LIKE the Gators. DS 4 proceeds to tell me that he tried to tell his brother, "it doesn't matter the team...because Mom just likes football." That is true...I DO like football....

As we leave the mall, I whisper a prayer of thanks. Thanks for four wonderful sons who can even spend time in a mall without fighting. Thanks that they are helping steer each other in the right direction. Thanks that ds 4 knows his mother well enough to know that she likes football (I'll report on what I ended up with after the big reveal)! And thanks that THIS powershopping trip came to a successful end!

Happy Shopping Everyone!!

Watch, Weep, and Wish

I'm weepy lately. I don't know why. It could be strictly that I'm a female in my forties. On the other hand, it could be holiday stress.

I've decided that it a good portion of my weepiness has to do with all that I have been watching lately. I'm watching my boys become men (at least the oldest two). I am watching them trying to make their own way in their own worlds. DSs 1 and 2 both have girlfriends that they are pretty serious about. I adore both girls. They didn't pick girls that are totally wrapped up in their teenage worlds and whose lives are filled with drama. No, they picked girls that have their heads on their shoulders and are excited about their futures. They picked girls who are down to earth and unafraid to try new things. I am proud of both of them.

Of course, with their focus on school, developing their relationships and extracurricular stuff, we get squeezed to the bottom sometimes. That's just kind of how it works I think. My priorities can't always be their priorities. I think I'm OK with that.

As I watched them today, I wept. I wasn't ready for them to change so quickly. I wept because there are things to do and they are busy. I wept because I am learning that I will not always be in control of my world. I wept because I can.

I also wish. I wish that I could have more time. I wish that they would each always know how much they are loved. I wish that they will continue to refine their characters into Godly young men.

I know that they are growing. I know that life will go on for all of us. And I know that God will hold them in His hand as they experience this phase of their lives. I also know that He will hold me in His hand as I watch, as I weep, and as I wish.

A "Simple" Prayer Request

I am guilty. I have been known to make the following statement about someone I considered "very spiritual": "Well we KNOW his/her prayers hit heaven." Now I know that all of our prayers do "hit heaven"...I think we fall into the trap of judging someone's spiritual life and deciding that they must have a direct link to God. I know I am not alone in the trap. God DOES hear our prayers. I believe it. Yet, at times I still find myself questioning...but then something happens to remind me of the truth:

This week, dh said to me, "Did you know that ds 4 puts a prayer request card in the plate at church every week?" I do watch him write on the card each week. He has been doing this since he could hold the pen. First he would scribble the lines, now he fills it out. One Sunday, he even wrote his brother a note that said, "Dear Brother 2, You owe me 1,0000,00000,0000 dollars." But, not wanting to admit that I have never seen him slip his card into the plate...I just said, "Oh?" Dh continued: "Do you know what he's prayed for over the past three or so weeks?" Again, I shrug. Dh says: "World Peace". World Peace? You could have knocked me over with a feather!

DS 4 who is a tornado in motion most of the time! DS 4 who has such a zest for life that it makes the rest of us dizzy! DS 4 who can get under the skin of his older brothers (and sometimes his Mother) quicker than a splinter!

Then I re-think his request and I re-think him: DS 4 who is extremely sensitive and completely aware of the world around him. DS 4 who has such a love for people and animals of all kinds. DS 4 who has never met a stranger. DS 4 who has brought us joy beyond belief. DS 4 who has faith that is immeasurable. (FYI: He believed that HE really would find Boardwalk in the McDonald's Monopoly game and win the million dollars! When the game ended, he said, "There's always next time.")

Jesus said that we should have the faith of a little child. I know I am not supposed to say it, but somehow I think that THIS little boy's prayers DO "hit heaven". I am sure that Jesus just smiles at his simple yet powerful request.

World Peace? I hope so son, I hope so.

Seen any red cars lately?

Dh had another great sermon today as he reminded us the importance of being thankful. He asked an interesting question: How many of you saw a red car on the way to church today? Of course a few hands went up.

Then he said, "I want everyone to look for a red car on the way home." He continued: "Now that I asked that, how many of you think you'll see a red car on the way home?" Almost all the hands went up.

He noted "Everyone will notice one because you'll be looking for it." Then he drove his point home: We have to look for the blessings in our lives. We sometimes take things for granted and miss them. It's up to us to recognize them and then be truly thankful for them.

So: Have YOU seen any red cars lately?

More Lessons from Son 4

There is a new song out on Christian radio that says: "The one thing that I don't question is you. You really love me like you say you do." It's a beautiful thought that I think most of us have a hard time grasping as adults.

Son 4 loves this song. When it comes on the radio he sings it with such conviction and belief. He truly has that faith of a child and it's so precious to watch and hear. It's obvious that He trusts that God does love Him and he should never question that love.

Now when I hear the song I ask myself, "what would it take to really say that statement like I mean it all the time...AND to live life in the same way?" What a different world this would be if Christians could just start with the belief that no matter what they are loved by God AND that we don't question Him.

I'm off to listen to more radio...and maybe learn more lessons.

My Crazy Life

Some days I wonder if I am coming or going! With six schedules to coordinate, it keeps me (and my family) absolutely hopping.

I was thinking the other day about a "simpler life" and really wondering what I would "give up" if I could. Here's our list of things that cost time:

1. Soccer games for ds 4
2. Youth group for dss 1, 2, 3
3. Church activities for all of us
4. Soccer practice and games for ds 2
5. Dh's work
6. My work

There isn't one thing on this list that I would give up. Watching my kids play sports is a joy and I KNOW builds confidence and character. Knowing that my boys are so involved in the Youth Group both as participants in high school youth and leaders for middle school youth (sons 1 and 2) makes me SO proud. Son 3 is really coming along well as he learns to balance school and social activities. I love my job and I am confident that dh also loves his work. I can honestly say that I don't know what to "give up". I don't know how to simplify.

Really when I think about it...life was like that for my family the minute I hit high school. More things tug at their social lives which cause the rest of us to be impacted. Being involved in my church and school though helped define who I am today. I am confident that my boys' activities will do the same.

I just pray that on those days when I feel like I want to scream or have the urge to sing Ricky Martin's "La Vida Loco"...that I can gain the perspective I need to realize that life is sometimes busy and it's OK. I also hope that I recognize when I am given the opportunity to slow down...and that I will have the wisdom to take it as the gift that it truly is.

In the meantime, I am off to soccer practice to pick up son 4!

Food for Thought

I have spent the last few days wondering "where I am going" and "what I want to do with my life"....then I found this quote. Now I will spend some time pondering its depth:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

Leaving On a Jet Plane

Remember the old song?
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me...
Hold me like you'll never let me go....
I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when I'll be back again...
Dh is off again. This time he is going to California for three days. So, yes, I know when he'll be back again...but I hate to see him go. Now, I must admit that it IS getting easier (thank goodness)! But it's still no picnic.

You see ever since we have been married...it seems that our parenting, running the household, and other "stuff" has been a two-way street of give and take. OK, he may do more at times than I do...in fact, my Mom and Stepmother say I am downright spoiled! And they are right.

I am blessed. It just seems lately as he has traveled that God has shown me how He has passed that blessing along to our sons. They pull a little more weight while Dad's away. The older ones help out with the younger ones. They help me juggle schedules...transportation (thank God for two licensed drivers)...and keep me sane.

Yes, I know when dh will be back...but it's not soon enough. I miss him when he is away. I suppose it is true, though that absence DOES make the heart grow fonder. I'm just glad we have until January before he is gone again!!

A Second Lesson

My FIL called me a little while ago and said, "Turn on channel 7. You have to see the story that is coming up." I had no idea what or why I needed to do this, but then he said, "They are going to talk about how having children makes women smarter." So I turned it on.

It is true that studies are suggesting that women are, in fact, smarter after they give birth and start raising children. Why? Because it requires multi-tasking, problem-solving, and all the other things that mothers "do".

The most interesting part of this lesson did not happen on the TV...but with son 4 as we watched this news segment. He heard them state, "Having children may actually make women smarter." Son 4 exclaimed: "It does? Wow, Mom...that means you know more than ME!" Before I could say a word, he said: "Tell me EVERYTHING you know, Mom! Please. Tell me all of it!"

I am not sure having children made me smarter, but it certainly keeps me on my toes. Now, I have to go tell son 4 "everything I know".

The Ripple Effect

Last week, when ds 1 got into some trouble, we talked about "The Ripple Effect". Since this conversation, we have noticed just how relevant and real this is. Basically, he and I discussed the fact that EVERY SINGLE decision we make has a ripple effect. Our decisions either send out a positive "ripple" or negative "ripple". It's up to us to decide. I even heard son 1 sharing this lesson with his brothers this week.

I'm So Thankful!

Things have been crazy around our house lately...everyone's going in a different direction...though positively. I'm glad November is here. Not because it translates to anything really slowing down...but because it is a month that I am reminded to be thankful. I know that I should be thankful all the time...and maybe it's the teacher in me...but the "I'm thankful for..." statements start flowing around me starting November 1st and going right through the Winter Holidays.

Recently several things that have happened that have made me thankful:

1. DS 1 got in big trouble last week. I'm sure you're thinking: "You have a warped since of thankful, Susan!" It wasn't the trouble I am thankful for...but rather his response to it. When we talked about it with him, he said, "I know I screwed up." He was right. And he knew that he deserved the consequences that came his way as a result. Our conversation about his infraction was just that, a conversation. It wasn't hateful but rather a reality check. It was a true glimpse into and reminder of the fact that our first born son is growing up into a fine young man. For this, I am SO thankful!

2. DS 2 and I gave one of his teammates a ride home for the second time this week from the soccer game tonight. As we dropped this young man off at his house I asked son 2, "Doesn't his family ever come to his games?" He told me "No" and proceeded to tell me that the parent gets frustrated when he can't find his own ride and figure it out. I said, "That is sad." Son 2 said, "Yeah it makes you glad that you are in a family that does care." For this, I am SO thankful!

3. Dh and I had a conversation on the phone last night. I am single this week...a HUGE challenge for me! I shared something that I wanted (not really needed) and he reminded me of reality and the need to "wait a bit longer". My first inclination was to pout...yes, I know I do that. And I suppose I did for a while...but during further reflection I thought: "I am SO thankful that he is the voice of reason and that he cares enough about our family that he can think so clearly." For him, I am eternally grateful!!

4. During one neurotic "I-can't-spin-one-more-plate" moment this week, I heard the voice of a dear friend remind me that I needed to let go and let God. She reminded me to give Him my cares and to take things one day at a time. For her gentle words and important reminder, I am SO thankful!

5. I have been troubled this week by the story of a young pastor that was tragically electrocuted during a baptismal service this week. I listened to part of the funeral service online tonight and read an excerpt from his last sermon that he was going to deliver after this baptism. In it he planned to remind his church to live and live well (You can read it here. I am thankful for this message. It is a reminder that none of us has the promise of even one more second on this Earth...but we should live and live well.

I hope you all find time to be thankful this month. May it be the beginning of us all acknowledging the blessings in our lives. May we not take one single breath for granted and may we truly "live and live well."

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I think every school in our state is on overload right now. While I certainly agree that children should be able to read in order to be promoted, this law has created much stress on many public school students, schools, and the teachers that work there. We are in a new "data-driven" age where everything must be proven with test data and numbers. The demands are great, expectations high, and stress even higher.

I am fortunate, because I work in a place where, for the most part, people WANT to see kids succeed. We do the best we can to stay kid-centered and aware of what's "right" about education and learning. But even the best places can get stressed out.

My friend, Mellissa, told me that she is combatting this at her school with a fresh "look" in the staff bathroom. She put some nice magazines in there, hung some humorous cartoons and fun poems on the walls, posted Oprah's calendar, added a Fall basket with chocolate (yes, chocolate) and dry erase markers. You might ask, "Why dry erase markers?" To leave messages on the mirrors, of course. She told me, "You wouldn't believe what a difference it has made in my staff...they LOVE going to the bathroom and they are smiling more. They are having a blast writing messages on the mirror!" I decided to try it.

On Tuesday, my friend Cheryl and I started by putting up cartoons and poems and those dry erase markers. I wrote one message on each bathroom mirror: Leave a message for someone else. We weren't going to tell anyone it was us, but I decided to clue our boss in so that he wasn't caught off guard.

After day one, people were "buzzing" about the bathrooms. They were leaving funny messages on the mirror including: "Thanks for the therapy!" "This is FUN!" and "You look gorgeous!" among other things. My boss said, "I don't like the mirror thing...you can't see your face." I politely told him to "get over it" and reassured him that he was fine.

Day two, I added the chocolate. Again, my boss didn't like it too much. But his reaction paled in comparison to the rest of the school that is all abuzz about what's going on in the bathroom. They are laughing and smiling. They are visiting the bathroom "just for a little comic relief"...they are leaving many positive messages on the mirrors....And they ARE taking the chocolate.

Despite what my boss says, I think it's a good thing. If writing on a mirror helps destress anyone...it's pretty low-cost therapy, you know?

It's Friday....I'm tired...I'm fighting stress...and my busy family has a million things to do this weekend...I just might put one NEW thing on our weekend agenda though:

Get some dry-erase markers and Write on the Mirror!

A Contrast in Characters

And my "Get-the-golden-rule-under-your-belt-one-way-or-another-week" continues!

Tonight, my friend, Elaine took me to see Grease at a local theater. She received these two tickets for her birthday a couple of weeks back. Since dh is out of town, son 4 stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's, and the older boys had plans, we decided at the last minute to take ds 3 with us. I called the theater to make sure they had tickets available and was told, "You come in early and the box office manager can work his magic." For those of you who read my Menopause the Musical blog...relax...we are NOT going to the "box seats" this time!

As promised, the box office man did find us a seat in the same row, just 6 seats down from our two seats. Since we were in row three, we thought this would be best...and we thought for sure that people might not mind just scooting over one seat so son 3 could sit with us and not have to sit alone. After all, he's only 11.

Seats 11 and 12 showed up---season ticket holders. They were a nice older couple who had just come back from watching their granddaughter perform in the same musical in Connecticut. Definitely proud grandparents. In our conversation, we explained that we were hoping people might be willing to shift in the row to allow son 3 to stay next to us. The gentleman said, "That shouldn't be a problem...but you never know. You know how people sometimes are." He assured us that he and his wife would be happy to move if the seat next to them stayed empty.

It looked pretty promising until moments before the show when seats 7 and 8 showed up. Now I should make sure that every reader understands that we live in a community with many retirees and people who have earned the "right" not to budge from what they want when they want it. And, unfortunately, many of them exercise that right on a regular basis.

We tried to explain to these two people our predicament and asked kindly if they were willing to shift ONE seat to the right so that ds 3 didn't have to sit alone. The man said emphatically, "I paid for seats 7 and 8 and I will NOT sit in seats 6 and 7!" Am I the ONLY person who thinks this was absolutely ridiculous????

DS moved down alone to seat 3 to wait and see if we could shift the other way. In the meantime, the lady and husband with attitude snuggled up next to me in their seats and did not say another word. I admit that I had to ask forgiveness for my thoughts at that moment...but restrained from saying anything to them. (With help, maybe I'll get this rule thing down, yet.)

At showtime, the seats next to our new friends in seats 11 and 12 were still empty...we all moved down at their suggestion...and ds 3 sat right next to the people who have earned and exercised the "right" not to budge. Actually, it centered us more than we already were.

We thoroughly enjoyed the show.

Now, I realize this truly WAS a contrast of characters. See, the people in seats 11 and 12 explained to us that they are Christians and don't see why people have to be so rude and inflexible. We learned a lot about these two people during the evening and really enjoyed our time together. Seats 7 and 8 never spoke to anyone else the rest of the evening. They didn't even look like they LIKED each other much less anyone else around!

I told son 3 later, it's a lesson that we all need to remember. When we have the opportunity to demonstrate kindness for others, then we need to do so like the people in seats 11 and 12.

I only have one question: I wonder if this cancels out the pizza experience?

(disclaimer to all retired persons: I am well aware that there are wonderful people living out their retirement years with compassion and kindness. I also know that my comment about those retirees living in our area in no way applies to everyone. In other words, "If the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it.")

The Golden Rule vs. The Pizza Rule

Most of you know that my dh is a pastor. On Sunday he preached about that lovely Golden Rule from the book of Matthew: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." (paraphrased)

I was OK with the sermon. It wasn't anything new to me. I've been hearing this rule (and mostly trying to live by it) for years. I DID think, however, "You know? You really could be more tender with sales people when they frustrate you." And I calmly whispered a prayer and asked God to help me make it so.

I did pretty good for the first 24 or so hours. DH is out of town this week. I had meetings late at work today and two of my sons had to leave for sports practice/training. The dinner window was very narrow for us. We spoke on the phone when I was on my way home around 4:50. All four kids agreed that pizza would be a good thing. So, I told them to go ahead and order. The order was completed just before 5:00.

DS 2 and I had a nice calm conversation about his day, life in general, the future, and other stuff while we waited for the dinner to arrive. Finally around 5:45, he said, "I'm going to call them and see where it is." He did. The man on the other end of the phone assured him that the driver left "10 minutes ago" with our pizzas. Knowing it would arrive any minute, ds watched eagerly out the window.

Around 6:00 we received a call from the pizza place and the driver told ds 2 that he was lost. DS gave him directions.

Ten minutes later, nothing.

I called the pizza place and asked them what happens when the pizza takes over an hour to deliver...and the manager said, "Tell the driver that Brian said it's free." That's all fine....but really doesn't solve the entire problem.

Patiently we continued to wait. Then the driver called me back. He told me where he was (less than one mile from my house). He told me that he was a driver for Dominos (I ordered Papa Johns) and that he was a manager who doesn't usually drive and he wrote down directions. I spoke slowly and calmly and was still living by the Golden Rule even as I realized that I had just been told by a Papa John's employee that he works for Dominos--and that he is a manager!

I called my new friend Brian, the manager of our local Papa Johns. I asked him the name of the driver that would be delivering my pizza and he said "John". I asked him if he was a manager. Brian said, "sort of we just hired him a week ago." I asked, "Did he used to work for Dominos? Because he thinks that he still does. Does this concern you? Because it concerns me greatly." He replied, "It certainly does. What did you order?" I told him and he promised that he would send out new pizzas with a different driver in 30 minutes. I hung up.

Right after I hung up, John (who thinks he works at Dominos) called back and said, "Did you order pizza?" I said, "yes." Then he said, "Can you give me directions?" At this point, I lost it. I said, "No. You can take the pizza back to your store. Just drive straight back there!" He once again said, "I'm a manager." I stopped him and said, "I don't care if you own Papa John's, I do not want you at my house!" (Goodbye Golden Rule, Hello Pizza Rule!)

45 minutes later, a sweet young lady rang the bell with my pizzas in tow. She started to tell me how much it would be. I smiled and said, "No, I think it's free." She reminded herself where she was and said, "Yes it is. I'm sorry about the delay." I thanked her...restrained myself from commenting on the word "delay"...and handed HER a tip for delivering my order.

Here I am three hours after this incident all began asking myself, "How could I have acted differently?" Well...I suppose I could have left off my commentary, stayed firm and a bit more calm than my last phone call. I know I am still rough around the edges. Thankfully, God allows me wiggle room and will continue to prune me until I get it right.

I just hope there's not a McDonald's rule, too!

Soccer Anyone???

Son 2 is in week 3 of soccer season. Son 4 will start playing in a couple of weeks (and received his first "real" uniform today). For the past two Saturdays, dh and I (and some configuration of the rest of our family) have been at the soccer fields watching Son 2 play. Now he is not just a "rec" player. He LOVES this sport (and always has). He dreams of playing World Cup Soccer someday.

DS 1 used to play and also enjoys this sport. He has been entertaining the idea of playing again recently.

DS 3 has never really played...nor has he ever really wanted to. His talents are in other areas.

Occasionally, Son 2 goes to the local field and kicks around with friends or other "teams" that are out there playing. Most recently, he discovered a Hungarian mens team that goes out there to play. Tonight, he and his older brother decided they are going to go see if they are playing and try to get in the game.
Pretty soon, son 4 came out and was dressed and ready to accompany his big brothers to the field. His brothers showed great grace and told him he could tag along.

While eating dinner tonight, son 3 announces, "No one invited me!" To which son 2 replied, "You're always invited." Pretty soon, HE came out looking for his father's soccer cleats so he, too, could go to the field. I am definitely blown away by this!!

Five minutes ago, the four of them...dressed and ready....left for the field.

It's quiet in the house...except for the TV that is playing college football and dh and I typing on our computers. I'm thinking I might encourage them to go to the field more often :-)

As they left, I thought: I truly am blessed by the way they support and encourage one another. Of course, there are days when they don't even like to be in the same room...but today's not one of those. People often ask me how we do it with FOUR boys...this is how. They have learned to co-exist---to have a genuine care and concern for each other most of the time. They know how to be individuals...but they also enjoy each other.

I am thinking the next time they don't want to even breathe the same air, I might ask:

"Soccer anyone???"

Reflections on Son 2

As promised, I am going to try and reflect on his birthday and life. It seems like 16 years goes by so fast. I remember being 16. I was not nearly as focused or ready to enter my "next stages" as he is. He is already thinking about what he wants to do when he "grows up". And his dreams and goals are good.

This weekend has really made me reflect on all that he has accomplished in a very short time. He is an active member of our Youth Group. He is a leader. He plays drums. He plays soccer. He enjoys time with friends. He is a great student. That's a lot!

I am so proud of son 2. He is growing into a fine young man. There's a part of me that wants to shelter all of them and not let them go out into the "big world". He is proving that he is ready for it, though. He shows us by the decisions he makes and the maturity with which he approaches life.

On Monday, he'll cross another threshhold as he goes to get his license. We will have two young drivers in the family. It saddens me in a way...and yet I anticipate it. He is ready. It is time. Happy Birthday Son....Be careful out there.

Happy Birthday Son 2!!

I have started this three times and each time my computer is shutting down before I get to post. So, I'll type more about his life in these 16 years later....

In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Son 2!! I love you!!

And the fun continued....

The celebration of Grandma's birthday continued into yesterday (Sunday). We met yesterday at 1:00 at the Harding Memorial in Marion. This is a beautiful historical structure in her hometown. Each of Grandma's four kids were there with their spouses and extended families. Each family unit chose a "color code" to bring some uniformity to the photo. It really turned out neat. There were 42 of us in all for the photo.

We rounded out the day at my Aunt's farm. This is always fun. We enjoyed plenty of food. The kids enjoyed playing in the field, picking apples and pears. The adults sit around and share stories of the past while catching up on each other's lives.

And there are always games: We played bocce ball....a VERY fun family game. The kids played football and soccer among other things.

DS 1 got a special guitar session with my Uncle who plays guitar and writes music and his friend and co-writer. They are both very talented men who enjoy sharing their gift of music with others. It was so neat to watch son 1 sit and soak in the session. My Uncle and his friend included son 1 in several songs and helped him learn some more bass runs. They truly honored who he is and the musician he is becoming. I thought as I watched this....THIS is how we pass on legacies to those who come after us! Thank you both for passing along and sharing your talent with my son.

DS 4 really enjoyed playing with the dogs and a few football games with boys that were at least twice his size. He simply doesn't want to believe he is only 6! I don't think he was phased by any size or age difference during the entire weekend. In fact, it dawned on him as we drove home last night that he "missed the food"! He was way too occupied with all the people, pets, and activities to stop and eat. (Dad and Mickey D's saved the day.)

Son 3 is fun to watch. My two nieces absolutely adore this one! He has such a special way with them. They gravitate to him and he seems to love it. I found him sitting and holding them several times. I also found them running around him and calling his name as they maneuvered through this busy day. He has been our photographer and videographer for most of the trip. I can't wait to see his final production! He ended his very busy day by helping his Dad clean and "fix-up" my Aunt's computer.

Son 2 was a little quieter yesterday. He did surprise me at one point though....my Aunt (who LOVES to play cards) asked, "Who wants to play Euchre?"...and son 2 piped up, "I DO!!" He must have seen the quizzical look on my face because he said immediately, "Mom, I told you I learned it at school!" And off he went with three adults he barely knew to participate in this family bonding moment. I think he and his partner won...I know he enjoyed the game.

Cynthia Rylant has a children's book out called, "The Relatives Came". I LOVE this book as it often takes me back to my childhood with this side of my family. One line in her book says, "We had to pass through three or four hugs just to get from one side of the house to the other." This is kind of how it is...there's lots of hugging, singing, playing, eating, and well...FUN!

This Labor Day weekend memories were made. I am thankful we live in a country where we can stop and enjoy each other...I pray that these are the memories that my own children will carry into their adult lives and pass along to their own children someday.

She Never Knew a Thing (And Neither Did I)

I have been resisting the urge to write because I don't know if my Grandmother reads my blog or not. She turns 85 in a few days. For months, a plan has been brewing in secret to celebrate this occasion.

My extended family is from a small town in Ohio. DSs 3 and 4 and my Mom and I drove up on Thursday of last week. The rest of my Florida family flew up at various times between Thursday and Saturday. We have spent the last two days "dodging Grandma" as we have been waiting for this big event. In the meantime, I have had a lot of fun taking my Dad and my Mom around to video tape places from their childhood, and pieces of our family history. This was kind of a bonus to "the plan".

Last night, we carried out the real plan.

Fifty plus family members surprised Grandma with a reunion/party in her hometown of Marion, Ohio. My Aunt and Uncle had made arrangements to take her out to dinner for her birthday. On the way, my Uncle stopped by the VFW and told her he wanted to show her something in the back. The "in-town" family surprised her first. Then, they told her that there was one more surprise and the "out-of-town" family came walking in. She smiled and unending smile and cried and seemed totally shocked. It was really neat.

We had a dinner together then many more guests joined the fun as we sang karaoke and danced the night away. I love these times! I love the small town feel, the love and laughter of family, and just generally enjoying life. (An aside: the weather has also been WONDERFUL!)

Grandma wasn't the only person surprised at this event. As I said earlier, we had a DJ there to provide karaoke for everyone. Now, my family really loves karaoke. We have used this form of entertainment at weddings and family reunions for several years. My own family loves to play "Karaoke Revolution" on the Playstation. I've seen my boys sing and play in the privacy of our own home. Occasionally, they have stood up at family events and sang in a group or duet.

Last night, my two oldest sons took karaoke to a new level. DSs 1 and 2 started out by singing "Believe" by Cher. It was quite a performance. Son 2 became a totally new person behind the mike. Then, DS 2 sang "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. It was quite a rendition...perhaps the best part was when someone threw a child's pull-up at him and he finished his performance with it on his head without missing a beat!!

Son 1 sang a more serious song later in the night and son 2 rounded out our family's karaoke contribution with a stab at RESPECT by Aretha Franklin. Yes, I was surprised.

I was also proud. Proud that they are not afraid or inhibited to have fun. Proud that they are comfortable in who they are. Proud that they enjoyed this special family time to the fullest.

It truly was a great night. I think Grandma enjoyed herself immensly as I did. It really was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!